Saturday, November 1st 1980

9.40am

Hyde's Apartment

Half asleep, Hyde reached over in search of Jackie. He loved the feeling of her body pressed up against his, it was like she was made for him. His heart sank when he realised she wasn't there and that he was alone. He pulled a pillow over his head and thought about the night they'd just had. He had barely slept, he couldn't. Instead he lay his head on her chest and listened to the steady rhythm of her heartbeat, it's timing predictable and regular; Hyde wished he could believe that she would be as trustworthy.

He had watched her sleep for hours, fixated on just how beautiful she had become. It was unfathomable to Hyde that someone this perfect would want someone like him; someone broken and possibly unmendable. As he lightly stroked her face he had remembered that she was just as broken as he was, if not more. When his mom had left him his life had got better, but when Jackie's parents left she had been forced to move down the ladder - to Bob's. He figured that would have to have been hard, and in some ways was why he hadn't wanted a relationship with her. If someone like Jackie was his first girlfriend how would any other girl ever compare? He didn't want the best for fear of losing the best.

Nothing had been resolved between them last night but at least he had been able to hold her and kiss her for a few hours. Even the memory made him less pissed off and would hopefully get him through until he saw her again.

He rolled over and saw a note on his nightstand with his name on it. Clearing his throat he reached over and grabbed it before sitting up a little. He propped himself up on his pillows and prayed that whatever she had written would be positive.

Dear Steven, it said,

Thank you for saving me last night, you seem to be doing that a lot lately, and I am truly grateful to have a friend as caring as you. I want to apologise for the way our relationship has become blurred...It's my fault, I came on to you and I shouldn't have. I know, and have always known, that you don't do the whole girlfriend/boyfriend thing and I should've just left you to it. I guess I just couldn't help the way I felt about you and hoped that you would feel the same. Anyway, I think it's a good idea that we put a bit of distance between us just until things settle a little. I still need my job though - I'm not stupid remember? I'm not letting a guy drive me out of a job! So if you wouldn't mind shuffling the roster for the next few weeks so that I work on your nights off I would be forever grateful. You're a great guy 'Hyde', I just wish that you could see what I see.

Thanks again,

Jackie.

Hyde angrily screwed up the paper and threw it at Sid's face, however not before noticing that Jackie no longer dotted the 'I' in her name with a smiley face. She had grown up, but he hadn't. Dammit!

He jumped out of bed and stomped down to the kitchen where he found Eric making pancakes.

"Morning Steven, can I interest you in some pancakes?" he offered.

"Fuck Forman you're turning more and more into your mother everyday," Hyde said as he slammed a cup down on the bench and poured himself a coffee.

Eric shrugged. "What can I say, Donna won't cook for me and when she does I tend to get sick," he said rubbing his stomach as if remembering all the bouts of food poisoning he's had over the last year, "so I had to learn."

He flipped a pancake onto a plate and offered it to Hyde.

"Not hungry," Hyde mumbled as he took his coffee to the table and lit a cigarette.

"Geez even Jackie was happier than you this morning and she must've had a killer hangover," Eric said as he poured more batter onto the hot girdle.

Hyde looked over at him. "What, you saw her this morning?" he asked.

"Yeah, I drove her back to campus," Eric mumbled, completely absorbed in his cooking skills. "Wait til you see me flip this baby," he winked.

"What did she say?" Hyde was digging for any info on Jackie that he could get.

"Who?"

Hyde threw the paper at Eric, hitting him on the back. "Jackie! What did Jackie say when she left?"

"Not much, just the usual, I'm skinny, Donna could do better, the cold weather really dries out her hands, blah blah blah," Eric said before flipping the pancake high in the air. "What did'ya think of that?" he asked enthusiastically.

Hyde ignored the flying breakfast in his kitchen, the only thing he cared about was the girl who'd flown out of his door this morning without talking to him.

"Did she say anything about me?"

Eric took his eyes off breakfast and looked at Hyde. "Nah man, she didn't."

"That's cool," Hyde shrugged before looking out the window.

Eric turned the stove off and sat down across from Hyde. "Look, you gotta go after her."

"I don't gotta do anything," Hyde growled before dragging on his smoke.

Eric sighed. "You do this every time dude. When things get too hard you bail instead of trying to fix them. Now I don't know what happened with you and Jackie, and quite frankly I don't wanna know, but don't give up on her just yet."

"Whatever."

"Enough with the whatever crap," Eric cried, rolling his eyes and throwing a tea towel on the table, "so you're just gonna sit round here saying 'whatever' while Jackie moves on and finds somebody else?"

Hyde shrugged. "If that's what she wants."

"I think it's obvious that that isn't what she wants, she wants you Hyde, so for once in your life why don't you let somebody in?"

Hyde sipped his coffee and stubbed out his smoke before standing up. "Thanks for the pep talk Johnny Psychology. I got shit to do so I'll catch ya later man."

As he walked to his bedroom and grabbed clothes for the shower Eric's words rang through his head. He did want to do something about Jackie. The thought of her with another guy made his stomach sick. He just didn't know how to get her back and prove to her that he could change.

...

Wednesday, 6th November 1980

3.50pm

Masterson's Irish Bar

Her hands were clammy, which was odd because Jackie Burkhart didn't do sweaty or clammy. She wiped them down the front of her jeans and mentally prepared herself to walk into work.

It surprised her a little that Hyde hadn't been difficult about changing the rosters. She had thought he would've tried to fire her, or called her a baby and told her to deal with it. But no, he had respected her wishes and shuffled everyone around so that they didn't have any shifts together. When Gemma had given her the new rosters a note from Hyde had come with them apologising that she now only had two shifts. She understood though, he was the manager after all and couldn't not be there just to accommodate her.

So tonight was the first night she was working since she'd left Hyde's bed on Saturday morning. She knew she would probably see him at some stage over the course of the evening, but at least she wouldn't have to be with him for 7 hours and not be able to touch him. She wasn't ready for that yet; withdrawal was a slow process.

"Hey Kerin," she smiled as she walked around the bar.

To her surprise he smiled back. "How's it going?" he asked.

She picked up her apron and tied it up. "Not bad, pretty busy with school y'know," she said.

"Yeah tell me about it, it's getting pretty full on at the moment huh," Kerin chatted as he placed some clean glasses on the top shelf.

She wasn't sure why Kerin was being so cool with her and she didn't really care to know. As long as it wasn't awkward Jackie was cool with it.

The shift went by quickly with no sign of Hyde. A few times Jackie had heard the back door open and close and had been tempted to go and see her curly haired friend but she hadn't. If she saw him she'd want him, and they weren't right for each other. She wore her heart on her sleeve and he kept his buried in a dark place covered in jealousy and insecurity; it would never work.

No matter how much she wanted it to.

So Jackie kept herself busy chatting with Harry and the rest of the regulars and listened to their stories of days gone by. She'd grown to love those old guys and they seemed to love her, even when she told them they needed to go home to their poor long suffering wives. Hyde used to growl her for doing it, she was discouraging business according to him. She told him that she was encouraging the family unit and that topped business every time.

Just before closing time Jackie nipped out the back to get some more towels and nearly fell over when she saw Kerin and Gemma all over each other on Hyde's recliner. Covering her hand with her mouth, so as not to disrupt them with her burgeoning laugh, she quickly closed the door and left them to it. No wonder Kerin had been fine with her, he'd moved onto other barmaids, one's that wore short skirts, and Jackie didn't mind one little bit.

A few minutes later the sheepish twosome emerged to help with clean-up, oblivious to the fact they'd been caught out.

"If you two want to go I can clean up," Jackie offered with a sly smile.

Kerin stopped sweeping and looked over at Gemma. "You sure Jackie?" he asked.

"I'm sure," she grinned.

"That'd be great, I have so much homework to do," Gemma said as she untied her apron.

"Oh I'm sure you do, that's why I insist you run along." Jackie couldn't believe these two were so stupid, nothing got by her, especially when it was right in the next room.

She locked the door after the lovebirds pretended to go their separate ways and cleared the last of the tables. She looked at the time knowing that Hyde would be down soon to cash up and for some reason found herself touching up her make-up.

God, habits were a funny thing.

Sure enough, at 11 on the dot Hyde walked in, his frown disappearing when he saw Jackie.

"Hey," he said with a small smile. She could tell he was nervous, the way he ran his hand over his head was a dead giveaway, and it made her wonder whether he had begun to notice her quirks like she had his.

"Hey yourself," Jackie said as she cleared the last few glasses off the tables.

Placing the glasses down on the bar she felt Hyde brush past her on his way to the cash register. He looked so handsome in his sweatpants and t-shirt that it took all of her willpower to not wrap her arms around him.

"Here, I made this for you," Hyde said as he put a mug of hot chocolate down on the bar.

God, now he was going to kill her with kindness.

"Awww, thank you," Jackie smiled.

Hyde looked around the empty bar. "Where are the other two?" he asked, his brow furrowed.

"Oh I told them they could go, they both had homework to do," she grinned. Hyde shot her a confused look and mumbled 'oh'. Geez, he was as stupid as they were, how could he not have noticed what was going on right under his nose? Lucky she was here keeping her finger on the pulse of love and loss at Masterson's Bar.

She wiped the last few tables down as Hyde silently cashed up. It was awkward, no doubt about it, but it really wasn't as bad as Jackie had imagined. Perhaps the hot chocolate gesture had broken the ice.

"Thanks again for this," Jackie said when she finally sat down to enjoy it. "I didn't think I'd be getting one tonight."

Hyde turned around and winked. "No problem, but I'm offended that you'd think I wouldn't make you one."

Jackie bit her lip, unsure of what to say. She hadn't meant to offend him. "Well, you know..."

"Yeah I know," he said without turning around. "Um, do you need a ride home? I don't mind."

Jackie swallowed her mouthful and put her cup down. "Actually a friend of mine works at a bar just around the corner and finishes at the same time. She said she'd pick me up."

"You have a friend?" Hyde asked in a friendly tone as he turned around.

Jackie smiled. "Yes I do can you believe it? I got talking to her at the cheer tryouts and it turns out she's in my dorm. She's great," Jackie explained. She noticed Hyde's face light up a little when she spoke, as if he were a proud father listening to his child talk about her first day of school.

"That's great Jackie, I'm happy for you," he smiled as he folded his arms.

"Happy Steven? I didn't think you did happy?" she teased.

Hyde laughed and shook his head. "You know what I mean."

"Yeah I know what you mean," Jackie said with eyebrows raised. She heard a vehicle pull up outside and turned to see her friend waiting out the front. "Um, well, I better go," she said gesturing to the car.

"Oh yeah, of course." Hyde followed her to the door ready to lock it after she left. She could smell his aftershave, the scent taking her back to the day he had told her she was dressed like a prostitute. Things seemed so easy back then, she and Hyde had their roles - they hated each other. Now everything was just so messy.

And Jackie didn't like messy.

He opened the door for her and as she went to step out into the cold night, his fingers gently wrapped around her hand.

"I miss you Jackie," he whispered.

Suddenly it wasn't the cold that was giving her shivers. His voice, his touch, it was too much. She turned away, looking at him and those beautiful eyes would've been it for her. She couldn't do it.

"I miss you too," she said before she ran to her friend's car and drove away.

...