A Maximum Ride Christmas

Alright everyone, so this chapter has nothing to do with LWA, but it is Maximum Ride related! Anyways, I had to write it for school so it is pretty clean. Also, there will be an actual chapter of LWA published soon after this early Christmas Special!

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN MAXIMUM RIDE OR ANY OF ITS CHARACTERS!

CLAIMER: I DO OWN THE PLOT FOR THIS CHRISTMAS RELATED STORY!

Ah, Christmas…Most families spend it shopping and drinking eggnog and hot cocoa around a fire, but we aren't most families. We are, The Flock. Instead, Angel discovers Santa isn't real, Fang dresses up as Santa, and well, I cause our breakfast to explode. Of course this is pretty normal for us mutants, but I guess I'm getting ahead of myself, so here is the story from the start.

Day before Christmas

"Max, what are you doing in the kitchen?" My idiotic boyfriend, Fang (a.k.a Mr. Tall Dark and Emo), called suspiciously from the living room; instead of answering right away I continued staring at the cryptic instructions on how to make gingerbread cookies.

"Nothing that's illegal!" I called back to Fang.

"Does it have to do with cooking?" He sighed.

"Maybe… What are you doing?" I countered.

"I'm looking through a catalogue for Christmas gifts. I think I'm going to get Iggy and Gasman a fireworks set." He hollered.

"No, absolutely not, don't you remember what happened last time we gave them store bought explosives?" I cried in horror, remembering when Iggy and Gazzy blew up Angel's prized collection of tutus and Nudge's iPod.

"Well at least it wasn't as bad as your cooking." Fang said; I could practically hear the smirk in his voice.

The front door to our new safe house burst open. I could hear Gazzy and Nudge arguing, Angel and her talking dog, Total, giggling, and Iggy dragging in a bag of groceries.

"Wait, my blind bird kid awesomeness can sense that Max is in the kitchen and about to cook." Iggy called out if terror.

Everyone stopped dead in their tracks, then raced towards to the kitchen where they all tackled me to the ground.

"Maximum Ride, what the unicorn do you think you are doing?" Nudge asked me with a cocked eyebrow.

"She was considering baking gingerbread cookies." Angel said with dread as she read my mind.

"That's it Max, you're banned from touching anything that could explode and or give us food poisoning." Fang said with a chuckle as he got off the dog pile that was still on me.

I sighed and pushed Iggy, Gazzy, Nudge, Total, and Angel off of me. After that I stalked to my room to take a nap.

"Max wake up!" Fang hollered, as he charged into my room.

"Out right now Mc. Brick wall," I started, "or do you want me to destroy you're laptop?"

"Fine, guess you don't want any of the chocolate cake the Iggy made while you were asleep."

I bolted up and shoved Fang past me as I pounded down the oak stairs to the dining room where instead of chocolate cake, a depressed and sad looked Angel sat. She was sniffling and tearing up a piece of paper up into little bits and pieces. I was saddened by the lack of chocolate cake but also concerned.

"Angel what happened?" I asked, sitting down beside her.

"Stupid Iggy told me that Santa isn't real." She grumbled.

"Oh, um…" I was kind of shocked, I mean I know that she is only 6 years old, but still, she can read minds and breathe under water…Why would she think Santa is still real?

"Max, do something about it! Iggy is being mean about it too." Angel whined.

"Fine, I'll talk to him." I said with a groan. Angel smiled and skipped out of the room, her hot pink tutu flouncing around.

I sighed and hauled myself off the chair and made my way to Iggy and Gazzy's shared room. When I got in there Iggy was hunched over at his desk and feeling different coloured blocks.

"So Ig, why did you burst Angel's childhood innocence?" I asked, stepping closer to him.

"Well I was tired of her being so freaking excited about some fat old guy breaking into our house and leaving random gifts around a tree." Iggy said, not at all surprised by me being there.

"Iggy, she's 6 years old and has a teddy bear. What do you expect?"

"Yeah, well she reads minds, beats the chizz out of Erasers, breathes under water…shall I continue?" Iggy asked with a cocked eyebrow.

"Whatever Iggy, just apologize to her." I say and walk out of the room, only to run into Fang. I quickly give him elevator eyes and then I get one of the light bulb ideas.

Fang looks at me a little worried by my devilish expression but I still grab his arm and drag him to the garage.

"Max, where the (insert swear word of choice) are you dragging me?" Fang cried.

"A fat suit shop, and then a costume store." I say with a wild grin.

"What? Why?" Fang gasps in alarm.

"We're going to turn you into Jolly Old Saint Nick." I yell with excitement. Fang groaned and looked up at the sky, as if to ask why him.

A few hours later we got home and Fang and I were hauling in a bunch of huge bags filled with the costume, the fat suit, an inflatable sleigh, and about 17 pounds of gifts.

"So Max, why exactly are we doing this again?" Fang whispered. It was already night time, and everyone was asleep. There were delicate flurries of snow drifting in the front door, so I quietly shut it.

"To teach Iggy a lesson and to make Angel, Gazzy, and Nudge happy." I say happily.

"Well then I guess we have a lot of work to do." Fang said with a sigh.

Awhile later we had finally finished setting up and Fang was getting the suit on.

"Max, do we really have to dye my hair and glue on a fake beard?" Fang asked, dreading the thought.

"No, I bought a wig and beard set." I said; Fang looked like I had just given him a trip to Hawaii.

"Okay, I'm going to go get Total now." Fang said, practically skipping out of the room to find our substitute Rudolph.

A few, minutes later Fang comes back with a hyper looking Total who had a glowing red nose on and deer antlers on. Fang nods in my direction.

"Okay, I'll go wake them up." I say, and make my way upstairs. When I get there I stop in all of the rooms and wake up the sleeping Flock members. Afterwards I bolt down the stairs before they do.

Downstairs Fang is sitting on the rocking chair beside the Christmas tree and Total is next to him. I grin and walk to the attached kitchen. I put our last good pan on the stove and take out the instant pancakes. I mean, how hard could it be?

Not very long after, 4 sleepy Flock members walk into the living room and their eyes instantly light up, all with excitement, except for Iggy who is blind.

"Ohmigawd! It's Santa!" Nudge squeals. She races and jumps on Fang's lap.

"Nudge you're hogging him!" Gazzy whines.

"What's going on?" Iggy asks.

"Everyone stop!" A frustrated Angel yells. "That isn't Santa, its Fang in a fat suit and costume." Angel moans with a frown.

I choke, I was sure she wouldn't notice. Of course, with my luck, when I choked I knocked over a carton of eggnog which landed on the instant pancakes. A millisecond later we're all ducking for cover as the stove explodes.

Fang shakes his head.

"Who know, that even you could mess up instant pancakes." Fang says with a smirk.

"No! My kitchen!" Iggy cries in horror.

A few minutes later a crew of firemen arrive and put out the fire, leaving us with a ticked off warning not to let me in the kitchen ever again.

I sigh and plop down on the couch next to Fang, who was still in his fat suit.

"What? You don't like my man chub?" Fang asks jokingly.

"No, it's just that this Christmas was ruined." I sigh.

"And whose fault was that?" Fang asks. I glare at him. "Listen Max, Angel isn't going to hold a grudge for this."

I nod my head, but that girl can be scary sometimes. I mean, she could hypnotize me if she wanted to.

"Hey Max, Fang," Angel says with a smile as she skips into the room with her new tutu on, "Thanks for such and amazing Christmas. It was truly a Flock styled holiday!"

I myself was in shock, I mean, Angel found out that Santa wasn't real, I caused the kitchen to explode, and we had to call the fire department! That just doesn't happen to normal families!

But then again, we aren't just a normal family. We are a flock, The Flock, and we never do things the normal way. So I guess this was amazing; truly the best Christmas ever.

"So, seriously, do you not like my man chub?" Fang asks, poking my face.

"Nah, it makes you look like a blob. I prefer dating a brick wall."

Fang's mouth turns into perfectly shaped 'O'.

"You mean you wouldn't be dating me if I was blob-like?" He gasps in shock.

"Probably not," I shrug, "I mean who knows." I say with a grin and step out the sliding door that I had been edging towards.

"Maximum Ride, get back here!" Fang hollers after me, but I only grin wildly and snap out my wings. Then I take off into the Christmas air, knowing my flock isn't far behind me.

So there you have it, a Maximum Ride styled Christmas.