Chapter 12

Kirk's first reaction was curiosity. The sudden cutting of a connection left him with no body awareness. He felt no pain; was not aware that he continued to speak every thought aloud. It was as if his body did not exist. The concept of reality was a foreign idea. He wondered if this was what death felt like. Maybe he had in fact just died. Probably not though. That had been much too easy.

He debated with himself over the concept of life and death for some while. Finally he decided life was an illusion, and proceeded to create for his amusement a universe to his liking. Plenty of diversity, but no war. People lived in peace and harmony together, finding joy in their relationships. His work was creating order out of chaos, and because his universe was expanding, there were always new challenges, and he was never bored. But nobody died, and nobody was left alone and abandoned.

Much of the second hour was spent debating the existence of God. If life was an illusion, maybe God was too. But his final conclusion was that God was real even if all else was not. Furthermore God had put him where he was, and God was utterly trustworthy, by definition.

That settled, his heart was at peace, and he returned to quoting his favorite Scripture verses. He briefly considered the idea of having a temper tantrum, screaming and sobbing that he couldn't stand it. But it wasn't how he felt, and Koh would know it. Assuming Koh wasn't a figment of his imagination, which he probably was, but so what. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered, except that he would continue to trust the Lord.

Khich watched the clock intently. As the two hour limit was reached, Kirk abruptly stopped talking. Within thirty seconds his instruments showed that Kirk was indeed sleeping. Turning to Koh with his report, he braved a question.

"Dr. Koh, how does Kirk know my name?"

"I don't know. Konti isn't going to like any of this. Let me know if he wakes up."

Kirk woke at precisely 0700 the next morning. His body awareness and sense of reality were again functioning normally.

"Good morning, Lord. Thank you. That was very interesting," referring to the previous evening's experience. "In fact, it was all very interesting. Just one question: now what?"

"You may do anything you like this morning."

So Kirk finished his lectures on the Christian doctrine outline. He followed that with meditations on the rest of the Scripture verses. He had just finished a lengthy time of prayer, most of which was intercession for Konti and Koh, when he noticed a change. He was surprised by how much the change startled him, even though it was the first such change in who knew how many days.

Gravity was being restored, 1/10 G at a time. That was considerate of them, but perhaps the machine wouldn't do it any faster. Then the pain devices were switched off. The absence of pain reminded him of the previous evening, but he was reasonably certain this was reality. Finally the force field keeping him immobile was switched off.

Hands which felt like Koh's removed the head device. Then the same hands proceeded to remove the IV's and all the electric leads.

"So, not only is this seventh day branding time, but bigger changes are afoot. Koh, you might ask Konti if he wants to put a piece of tape over my mouth. It doesn't matter to me, but I'd hate for him to be embarrassed by something I said."

"I don't know why you should care. Besides, it would create an intolerable internal tension."

Kirk laughed. "I don't know why you should care. Besides, isn't that what you've been trying to create for two weeks?"

"Yes, and you're the most annoyingly stable patient I've ever had."

"I'm sorry to frustrate you, but I can't be other than who I am. Your instruments would have immediately detected a false show of emotion. So internal tension, sure, but intolerable? I doubt it."

"So you ask him."

"Okay, I will. Biggest question now is whether I can manage to get off this table. After that is the eyes. If there's anything I really have to see, I'll have to ask the Lord for another miracle."

"Another one?"

"Yes, last week He fixed the eyes so I could see Konti."

"So you couldn't see, and suddenly, you could see?"

"That's right."

Kirk felt Koh pry his eyes open and shine a very bright light into each one.

"Well that blinds me for sure."

"I don't see anything wrong with your eyes. They'll recover eventually. Not that it'll do you any good."

"So there's nothing I really have to see?"

"Ask Konti. Now get up, so I can do the leads on your backside."

Kirk sat up slowly and swung his legs over the side.

"Biggest problem is dizziness. Won't be surprised if I end up on the floor again." He was moving as he talked. "Maybe this'll work."

He slid off the table, clung to it, turned to face the table, and leaned over it. Koh continued his work. Kirk gradually was able to stand upright without clinging to the table for support.

"Koh, before I leave, I want to tell you how much I appreciate your gentle hands. I'm sorry I wasn't a more cooperative patient."

"I don't understand you," Koh admitted a bit grumpily.

"Listen to the tape from the past week."

"Well, I'm done. Konti, he's all yours."

Konti took one step forward, and Kirk turned towards the sound. He stood waiting for Konti to speak.

"Silence?"

"I thought I'd try controlling the tongue, but I'm afraid it's not reliable. Tape would be safer. What about the eyes?"

"Koh, how long before the drug wears off?"

"I don't know, since it's not usually administered the way he's been getting it. An hour at least, maybe longer."

"I can't wait that long. Fetch the tape."

Koh left.

"How do you know I don't like branding?" Konti demanded warily.

"I saw it in your eyes."

"And why did you insist on becoming my slave?"

"I don't expect you to understand this, but I did it because I believe the Lord Jesus Christ wanted me to. I don't yet know why."

Koh returned with the tape, and Konti gestured him to apply it.

"Up until now, everything that has happened to you, except for the branding and removal of your uniform, would have happened regardless. Today however will be far different. You will pay dearly for having made that choice.

"We are now orbiting the home world. I will take you to the capital, my home city, where I will parade you through the streets. It is a time-honored tradition, and everyone that sees you will know what you have done. I will make no attempt to convince them that you do not deserve their contempt. Furthermore, tradition requires that you not speak without my express permission. I shall tell no one the true reason for the tape. They will assume you are an undisciplined coward, and clumsy as well, since I will not tell them you are blind.

"The parade ends in the State Assembly, where I will again perform the branding ceremony. That audience will know who you are. Many of them carry personal grudges against you. Emotions are likely to be strong. Following the branding, I will have to defend my right to keep you. I expect the mindsifter to play a prominent role in the discussion. I do not expect to win the argument.

"Do you understand?"

Kirk nodded his head.

xxxx

It was every bit as bad as Kirk had imagined. Konti held the leash attached to Kirk's collar. Khlat with the whip followed. But there was no organized system of giving directions as Khlat had used before. Kirk had simply to guess from the feel of the leash when to stop, go, and turn. This would not have been too difficult except that the surface underfoot was very uneven, providing many opportunities for tripping.

He stopped counting after the tenth fall. Each fall pulled the leash taut, which cut off his air. Further, he could not break his fall because his hands were tied behind his back. And Khlat would start in with the whip at the slightest faltering in his step. And occasionally with no excuse whatever. Kirk just ignored him and tried to concentrate on the leash in front of him.

The citizenry of all ages made sport of him. Some threw rocks, though fortunately not big ones. Others threw refuse, the contents of slop buckets, and worse. Kirk tried to ignore their contempt, since it was based largely in ignorance, but the noise and emotion beat against him almost like a physical wave.

The parade took several hours. Kirk made no attempt to keep track of their location or route, but it seemed as if they traversed the entire city on foot. Finally they stopped, and Kirk heard the sound of running water. Immediately thereafter he received a bucket of cold water in the face. As Khlat doused him with bucket after bucket of cold water, Kirk realized they were trying to remove the worst of what smelled. For this he was grateful, though it left him shivering from the cold.

This done, he followed Konti into a building with many steps up to the entrance. Inside was considerably warmer, because he was out of the wind. Konti stopped to speak with several people as they were directed further into the building. Finally coming to what seemed a small room, which was empty but for themselves, Konti turned and looked at Kirk.

Kirk was not sure what Konti saw, but all he said was, "Still blind?"

Kirk nodded his head. Nothing that had occurred thus far required functioning eyes, and he did not anticipate the need for them in what was about to occur, so he did not plan to ask the Lord to heal them.

Konti continued to study Kirk. Again he was struck with how much he liked this man. Surprised at himself, he was glad that the ordeal in the streets had not broken Kirk. He still exuded that calm confidence that irritated Khlat so much. Konti wondered if he would face the mindsifter with the same confidence. And not for the first time, he wished he knew what Kirk's secret was. He had proved several times in the past two weeks that he could endure anything, and he seemed to do it without effort.

An aide came to notify Konti that it was time.

Kirk's impression of the room they entered was that of spaciousness, but there were several hundred people in it. A very hostile silence greeted their entrance. Konti strode to the middle of the room, faced the dais and spoke.

"I, Konti, bring before you this day James T. Kirk, lately of the Federation. Upon his capture, Kirk claimed the right to be my personal prisoner. Therefore, he stands before you today as my personal property."

An angry muttering followed this announcement.

"I understand your objection, but it is the law. Just because we did not expect him to know this law does not give us the right to refuse his claim. Therefore, I will now confirm his status by performing the third branding ceremony here, with all of you as witnesses. Further, he has chosen no restraints."

He turned to Kirk and removed the leash from his collar. Khlat untied his wrists. Kirk prayed for Konti's heart to be at peace. Konti sighed and picked up the branding iron. Suddenly someone yelled.

"Take the tape off his mouth! You said no restraints!"

Konti looked at Kirk, who nodded fractionally.

"Not a sound," Konti said as he removed the tape.

I promise, Kirk thought, even if I have to bite my tongue. But he didn't. The drug had worn off sufficiently that silence was relatively easy. The branding was accomplished without incident, including the subsequent knife wound. Instructing Kirk to rise, Konti turned again to the crowd.

"I go from here to report to my superiors. I'm certain they will have opinions concerning the future of Kirk. But know this: anyone who injures my property will answer to me."

Konti strode from the room, followed by Kirk and Khlat, Kirk still completely unrestrained. Khlat managed a couple of whiplashes before they reached the door. Kirk ignored him. He was more aware of the unreleased anger in the room. He prayed for them briefly.

They left the building and climbed aboard a flitter. Kirk assumed they were headed for military headquarters. To his surprise, they went instead to Konti's home.

"Give him a bath, Khlat. I can't take him to Korn in his present condition."

The bath was interesting. Kirk tried to hide his amusement with Khlat's petty torments. And he was grateful to be clean. Khlat's soul was twisted; Kirk prayed for his healing. After the bath, Khlat delighted in inflicting new welts on his fresh skin. He was visibly irritated that Kirk ignored it.

Konti waited for him in the bedroom, which contained a single comfortable chair. Khlat delivered Kirk, and Konti asked him to wait outside.

"Sir, do you want him tied?"

Konti laughed. "I should take my own advice, but no, I'll risk being clawed."

"Sir?"

"I told Koh that if he treated the tiger like a kitten, he was likely to get clawed."

"Yes, sir." Khlat departed, clearly puzzled.

Konti sat in the chair and regarded Kirk, who stood at ease in front of him.

"What is it about you that makes me feel safe? I should have all my defenses on alert and I don't. Why?"

Kirk did not reply.

"When I ask you a question, I expect an answer."

"I'm sorry. I did not realize you had given permission to speak. I do not know why, but you are quite correct: I will not harm you."

"This is probably my only opportunity for a private conversation. I have watched you these past two weeks, and I have an urgent question. What is your secret?"

"I have no secrets. I've told you that several times."

"The mindsifter will take care of that, but that's not what I meant. You are anything but a coward. Your self-discipline is to be envied. Yet today you endured hours of the worst kind of ridicule without complaint. You endure everything without fear or anger. You either ignore it or adjust to it; you never fight it. And it's not that you can't; you choose not to. Nothing we have done to you cracks that inner calm. What is your source? How do you do what you do?"

Knowing this was his one and only chance to share, Kirk chose his words carefully, asking the Lord for wisdom.

"My source is the Lord Jesus Christ, who is God of the universe. It is because God dwells within me that I can do these things. You have the power to kill me, but you can exercise that power only if God permits it. I'm not saying He won't, but when I die, it will be His choice, even if you think it is yours. Likewise, all the things you have done to me, He has allowed you to do.

"The lack of fear and anger is a result of who I believe God is. He is not a tyrant who delights in inflicting pain for its own sake. Nor is he an impersonal God who doesn't care what happens to me. He cares deeply, and his design is for good, not evil. It does not matter whether I understand how the good will be achieved. Nor does the level of unpleasantness change my conviction that He is in control, and He will accomplish his purpose in my life."

"So your belief in your God gives you the power to endure?" It seemed he was genuinely trying to understand, but a note of scoffing crept in on the word 'God'.

"He does increase my ability to endure, but the inner calm comes from my belief in who He is."

"And you think that a God who puts you through two weeks of agony will protect you from my blade?" His voice dripped with disbelief.

"No, that's not what I said. I have no doubt that I will die by your hand. But it will not happen until God is ready for it to happen. Because I trust Him completely, I have no reason to fear you."

"And what about the mindsifter?"

"I do not fear it either. If you lose the argument you mentioned, the mindsifter will take my mind, after which you will undoubtedly kill me. If what we expect does not happen, it will be because God isn't ready for me to die yet."

"You expect it, yet you do not fear it?"

"What is there about it to fear? The pain? Even if it's worse than anything I've experienced before, it's still not a reason to fear it. The loss? Once the mind is gone, I will not know what I've lost. The process? Well, that shouldn't go on too long, and anyway, it might be interesting."

"Interesting? That's not what I would call it. Unfortunately, you will be in no position afterwards to tell me how 'interesting' it was. Anyway, we're out of time. Khlat! Come in here. Tie his hands and attach the leash. Then get us the flitter. And call Korn's office; inform them we are on our way."