Hi, hi! I wanna get writing! Let's do this! I have an hour probably until I am nagged to get to bed sooo… let's go, go, go!
Enjoyyy!
Chapter twelve
Nightmares and fantasies
Ruby rose
So I guessed that was it now. I was a monster. Now classified as dead in my sisters eyes, those strange hollow and diluted eyes. I rolled onto my side; I didn't even know why I was here, or why I had weird tubes connected to me from all different places, why I had a mask on, why there was an incessant beeping sound in the background.
"Hello Miss, I see that you are finally awake! May I be at your assistance in any way?"
I had already decided I didn't like this nurse, she seemed to fake, her smile looked pained, her eyes wore the same hollow look as my sisters. She was so young and pretty but had clearly seen too much, experienced too much, heard too much. I began to pity her, but I didn't entirely trust her.
She handed me a notebook and a sharpie then and I looked at it in horror. This was the only way forward now. I was scared; so, so scared.
I scrawled a scribbly few words with my shaking hand and she frowned at the letters a moment before brightening again and nodding, as if she was pleased I was literate and that it had only been my handwriting that was messed up.
"Well, we are not quite sure why you're here quite yet, the medicine Calvin created is not particularly the best thing for your bodies and most of these people are dying in here… but you… You will most definitely have the ability to first, fight off the first stage of this, where your body is battling against the drug, second, control the two parts of you and third, live a semi-normal life one day…"
Beep, beep, beep… beep, beep, beep… beep, beep, beep…
I don't think the sound had ever ceased but i only became aware of it, painfully aware, while the woman started to round off her essay. It drowned out the last of her monologue except for the words semi-normal and I groaned inwardly as I heard her say that.
"semi normal…" what is it now then? What will it be for the next weeks? Months? Years?
Blake Belladonna
I gasped as I stumbled to the ground again, I scrambled, crawled, clawed at the air, desperate for some grip of reality, something tangible to distinguish it from the blur of reality. Nothing but blackness, a sickening darkness that swirled around me, pressed down on my like a heavy blanket, tormented me and sent a frightening chill down my spine. I didn't cry out, I didn't dare: what if something was lurking somewhere in the corners? Were there any corners? Was I in a wide open space or a cramped closed in room, at the moment it didn't seem to be anything. It seemed to waft in and out, and the haze in my vision didn't seem to help. Wherever I was, I was very definitely falling, and I had dragged someone with me on the way down.
I woke up in tears and a cold sweat as I scanned the dark dorm. The only sight was sleeping lumps of bodies and soft snoring from one side of the barn. I opened the compartment in the slats behind my bed and snatched out my diary. I wrote down every detail of the dream and then jammed my hand even further into the slats to take out my dream catcher. I had a ritual when I got nightmares, I would always write them down, and afterward I would always make a wish with the dream catcher clutched tight in my whitening knuckles.
I decided to roll back onto my stomach, put away the special objects and rest my head onto the soft pillow. Closing my eyes I am immediately swept into a, restless, but far more peaceful sleep.
Ruby rose
I closed my eyes, almost willing the nightmares back, the land had turned black, I had been dragged down, down by caring hands… my eyes had flashed open and I'd seen Blake. For a split second I had seen her and I wanted to see her once more.
I tried to sit up and then realised that there were straps round my ankles and arms and wrists and legs. That smug look was once again on the greasy haired freak. Calvin Scotchma.
I screamed, that horrible strangled sound escaping my dry cracked lips and writhed against my bonds. Every part of the way I moved felt wrong, inhuman… like a… monster….
"You are the only test that worked." He said with a nod of dismissal to the scientists and nurses around him, they scurried away obediently. "Don't screw it up. Young Rose."
He spat my name in disgust almost. "Why you had to become the only test that worked, well no one knows, but it seems that you won't even become- fully- what I want you to become…" He sighed and looked me straight in the eyes.
"Are you not going to answer me at all?"
"I c-can't… ssppeaaaak…" I slurred with great difficulty, it was almost there, but my words were still coming out, joined together with the painful strangled noises.
He laughed. "Ah, I see, they did tell me to come back this afternoon, I didn't listen really…. Huh, I suppose they were right. Well…" He patted me on the head mockingly and I hissed. "good night little lab rat, sleep tight!"
I felt a low growl forming in my throat but pushed it back as he exited. I was already inhuman, pushed away like a monster, and even by my own sister. She'd never been good with the trust. Never. She hated problems like these, she hated to see her family hurt and/or dying, but when they were she would panic, get scared and flee. She'd never stick around. She was just like Raven, just like her own mum who she 'despised' so much.
I sighed, I knew I was being bitter, but what ese was there for me to do. No one ever came, no one cared to come. I didn't even really know if they were allowed. I knew nothing about what was going on.
Then I realised I didn't even know where I was.
Blake Belladonna
I was confused when I woke up, because while I had been dreaming the subconscious part of my mind seemed to constantly remind me that, if only for a split second, Ruby had been in my dream. She'd been there, I was dragging her down, and she wasn't screaming or crying, she was smiling and trusted me.
Even though it had only been a dream, a short one at that, a part of me felt warm inside. She'd trusted me. Someone had finally put their faith in me. It was strange to have such a warm feeling within me even with the war raging around me and the distant shouts and gunshots. But I did, and for the first time I didn't even feel guilty.
I got out of bed to watch the sun rise and pulled a grey hoodie over my uniform, I hadn't realised that I had been wearing it all through the night- mine and Yang's shift had been tough.
Stepping into the chilly morning I sat down on a tattered bench and despite the beauty of the dewy morning the incessant explosions and gunfire drilled into my mind. And then it all stopped as I felt a hand squeeze my shoulder and a warm body snuggle beside me.
I didn't even have to look to know who it was. My mind seemed to urge my mouth to form words but I couldn't, my lips just opened and closed in wonder and awe for the beautiful teen before me. Her soft red hair flew around her shoulders gracefully, as she stared intensely at me. Her eyes seemed to sparkle with a strange burst of happiness before they glazed over, it was if two souls battled for control within her.
I looked away, a bright blush burning on my face. "I had a dream ab-" I looked at her and smiled softly, we'd both spoken at the same time.
"What was it about?" She asked me curiously. Then I realised one more thing. She had a grey bushy tail, tipped in white, and two furry ears, similar to the tail, the silky fur was also tipped with white.
"You're a… faunice?"
"Yeah… I mean… Not really."
"What does that mean?" I asked her with a giggle. She looked at me with a stern look, as if to tell me off.
"N-nothing…" she looked ashamed almost, so I let the subject drop. Her eyes were soft but a bright burning anger hid behind the haze.
"Are you okay?"
"well… I should be on my… l-life support… or I think that's…. what…. Iiiiitttttttttttt…" She was slurring and her eyes rolled back into her head. I panicked and grabbed her, bundled inot my arms and began to run to the hospital ward.
"SOMEONE HELP!" I screeched into the dull air. Silence. I tried again. "SOMEONE HELP ME PLEASE! PLEASE COME! PLEASE!"
And suddenly footsteps rumbled along the halls.
-"turn on the machine"-
-"take the girl"-
-"what happened"-
I looked at all the faces encircling me, nausea washing over me I stumbled back to the door. Her dreary eyes caught mine and she lifted her arm, wanting me back, but I shook my head and retreated further back. I'm so sorry Ruby…
Ruby rose
It's not like I hadn't known she was going to leave- it took her longer but she did it. Good for her, at least she has that freedom. The only freedom I have are my thoughts, and they seem to be getting more and more worrying these days. But I still try to think as little as possible so that I can be sure no one has developed some mind reading tablet or whatever.
I didn't get it, I didn't get much these days, everything was blurry and fuzzy and confusing. Big questions hurt my eyes and made me lose it. Bright lights made me have seizures. Things like that. But still no one ever came back after they saw me like this.
Well, this was it then, this was me.
It's not you, you can be more than this….
Hahah, yeah sure, of course.
You're a new voice in my mind, hello, welcome to the Ruby show- in which,everyone turns into a monster and experiences the crushing feeling of being left alone to the darkness—
I get it. I get it. I AM you, just for the record. Well, I am you NOW- since I am a monster and your part monster—
Waaaiiiittt…. You're the monster part of me?
Yes.
GOD DAMN YOU, YOU RUINED MY LIFE!
The feeling is mutual.
Really?
well, mine has far more logic to it but sure…
Are you calling me illogical?
Hahah, yes.
That's not nice, but you know, I think I can get used to you. At least you won't leave me.
I AM you, duh. Also, you shouldn't hate me you should hate that Calvin dude.
And the conversation ended there because something happened with the doctors- I can't really remember. But a few poisonous words woke me from my trance. "Hello, little. Rose."
"H-hi person!" I didn't even bother to open my eyes.
"You are controlling it, I see."
I giggled, "I don't see."
"Open your eyes then."
"Noooooooooo." I said, it sounded painfully childish- but why should I care?
"I came here to tell you that you're permitted to go."
"Yay!" And with that I jumped to my feet and walked right out of the ward.
Hi hi! I am going to post two more chapters (probably just one after thinking about it) today! see yaaa
