Author's Note: Twilight and all it's characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. Song used in the beginning: "I Was Wrong" by Sleeperstar. Rather short but highly enjoyable, gives me goosebumps every time! :)
Chapter 11: Heartbeat
I saw you fell asleep while you were reading
The pages on your face you had been weeping
And I saw what it was that I had done
I was wrong
Chapter's Summary: Jasper runs back to Bella's and finds her asleep in her bed. They spend the night together, cuddled up.
JPOV
Bella's small frame was cuddled up against me, her breathing even ones more and her steady heartbeat drumming a constant rhythm against me. I was laying flat on my back, arms wrapped around her while her head rested on my chest. Her right hand was fisted into my shirt, never loosening its tight grip and with every passing hour she seemed to snuggle deeper into me until she intertwined our legs, locking me firmly into place.
I chuckled into the hair at the crown of her head. She seemed to be insistent on keeping me in her bed. Of course I could have gotten away if I wanted to, but why would I leave the warmth of her bed and the heaven that was Bella?
Time passed slowly as I listened to her heartbeat. The wet thumping sound didn't call to me like it should. I wasn't hungry, my throat didn't burn stronger than any other day.. I was okay. Musing it over I let my eyes wander around the room. It didn't really display her in any way. There were no pictures or posters, nothing revealing the personality of the beautiful human living here. The only things that gave away something were her books. Plenty of them filled the shelves next to the rocking-chair. Some old and worn, some new and seemingly untouched. Mostly works of fiction, a lot of romance novels, not really my area.
I reached over to the other side of the bed where I've seen a book when I entered her room. She must have fallen asleep reading, it lay open, half covered under a pillow. I snatched it from under the pillow, careful not to wake her up. Bella groaned whenever I moved too much under her, her tights pressing against my leg. It was plain torture.
I observed the old leather-bound book, turning it over in my hand. It smelled and looked rather old, a familiar scent clinging to it. A book from Carlisle's study. I flipped it open again, cautiously turning to the page Bella must have been on when she fell asleep. I was surprised to find that it was one of Eleazar's books on the various relationships between vampires. Bella must have read about the romantic bond that forms between mates. The pages were smudged with tears. I traced the circles where the paper was now crinkled, feeling every tear that fell on these pages like they were my own. Peter and Charlotte had been right. I caused her so much pain by running away without a word.
I placed the book on the nightstand and hugged her closer to me, whispering silent promises into her hair. I could only hope for a forever with her and until then I would simply enjoy what she was willing to give.
Morning was breaking and it was time for me to get out. Not because Bella was waking up or I needed to go anywhere, but because Charlie's alarm went of. I couldn't risk him finding me in bed with his daughter. So I lifted her body tenderly and snuck out from under her, placing her head on a pillow instead. A deep frown appeared on her face as she grumbled her disapproval. I couldn't help but grin as I bent down again and kissed her temple and whispered, "I'll be just outside, don't worry." to my sleeping beauty.
I was out and in the trees just before a disheveled Charlie stuck his head inside Bella's room. He scanned the room for a few seconds before silently closing the door again. Leaning back against the tree I watched as the sun began to rise, one ear listening to Bella's breathing while the other concentrated on Charlie as he prepared for another day at the station. The day was starting of peacefully, the cold wind and snow that'd been around for the last three days finally gone. I inhaled deeply, relishing in the fresh, clean scent of the woods around me. A small smile played on my lips and I closed my eyes. For the first time in many many years I felt at peace. Not completely yet, but still just enough so my inner demon didn't seek revenge and blood for all the years I had to suffer under Maria.
Bella woke up only moments after Charlie left. I felt a load of disappointment from her and scolded myself for not being there when she awoke.
"Jasper?" she asked in an incredibly small voice, whispering that question into her empty room. I leapt up, landing on her windowsill with ease and flashed her a brilliant smile.
"Didn't want Charlie to find me in your bed."
I moved over to her, sitting down next to her on the mattress. She blushed and muttered something under her breath, pulling her bottom lip into her mouth. She looked so beautiful in that moment that I wanted nothing more than to kiss her, but we weren't quite there yet. Honestly, I didn't even know where we stood.
Bella cringed a little, moving her head from one side to the other, pulling faces as she massaged her neck. I couldn't help but laugh at her disgruntled face.
"Suppose sleeping on a vampire's chest isn't as comfortable as you made it look." I wheezed out between laughter.
She shot me a dirty look, sticking her tongue out and blushed furiously. That made me laugh even more until she kicked me off her bed, punching my chest lightly as I pulled her down with me.
"You. Are. Such. A. Meanie." she grunted out, punctuating every word with a punch to my chest while I held her effortlessly above me by her upper arms.
My laugh suddenly died inside my chest as she shifted above me, brushing her tight against me through my jeans ever so slighty. That little involuntary touch knocked the wind right out of me. My eyes must have gone dark then because the next thing I know is that Bella took in a sharp breath and jumped up and onto her bed while I stayed unmoving on the floor. Sprawled out on my back, hands still in the air, gripping nothing now that Bella wasn't hovering over me anymore. I didn't breath, didn't move. I didn't even look up at Bella.
"I am so sorry!" she suddenly blurted out, her emotions a whirlwind somewhere between guilt and remorse. "You were with me the whole night. I shouldn't have.. I'm so sorry."
A sob escaped her then and I was up on my knees facing her in an instant. Holding her face in both my hand I looked into her eyes.
"Don't. I'm alright." I pushed a little bit of my emotions out for her, holding back the lust. I saw her focusing on what she felt from me, taking her time until she nodded.
"Your eyes."
I smiled at her, gently wiping away a tear that rolled down her cheek. My thumb continued the brushing motion against her cheek and she began to relax under my touch, although her tears didn't stop falling.
"Don't worry please. I just need to hunt. You'll never be in danger from me. Never again."
I promised her what I promised myself many months ago. Losing control around Bella ruined our lives and it would never happen again.
"I caused this." she whispered, holding my hands in her own. "It's easy to forget that I'm your natural food source."
Her weak attempt of a smile nearly broke my heart, so I leaned in, touching my forehead to hers. Bella's cheeks radiated heat as her tears slid past my thumbs. Her body trembling under my touch.
"Don't think like that. You're not just a bag of blood to snack on. You're Bella. The most beautiful human I know. And you are so much more than that. Compassionate, trusting, intelligent and above all absolutely loveable. You need to see that."
Her breath mingled with mine, tingling against my lips as she asked between her sobs,
"Then why don't you love me?"
Bella's voice was so low that I almost didn't catch it. But when the meaning of her words finally sunk in I crushed my lips to hers.
It was like nothing I imagined. It was wet and desperate, full of sniffles and choking gasps, hands tangled in each others hair and noses rubbing a little too harshly against each other. But it was full of passion and love and everything I needed. The moment our lips brushed together for the first time my whole world shifted. It was like a puzzle that solved itself and every piece suddenly fit together. My years in the newborn army, Peter and Charlotte, Alice finding me in that Diner, Carlisle and Esme. Everything made perfect sense now that I held Bella in my arms.
BPOV
Kissing Jasper was nothing like kissing Edward. He wasn't careful, our kiss wasn't chaste. It was needy, sloppy and a little painful, but it was just right in some way. We'd have forever for gently kisses and perfect passion but right now, in that moment I needed him too much. I responded desperately when he touched his lips to mine, applying just a little too much pressure. My hands moved into his hair, gripping and caressing, holding him to me for dear life. Jasper tasted like summer and rain and leather and tobacco. He smelled like the sun and the storm and somehow he smelled like home.
I sighed into him, slipping down onto the floor until I sat in his lap. Our kisses slowed down, his lips moved gently against mine, opening up, inviting me in. My tongue darted out, slowly licking his bottom lip, tasting my tears on him. I waited for him to pull back. Waited for him to vamp speed across the room like Edward did so many times, but he didn't. His hand twisted in the nape of my neck as his tongue met mine. I couldn't keep away the moan or the ones that followed after that one. He kissed me, exploring my mouth with his tongue, like nobody had ever kissed me before. He tasted salty on my lips but sweet on the tip of my tongue.
I pulled away a little, trying to catch my breath, I opened my eyes and found Jasper's intense gaze on me, a smile on his glistening lips. I returned the smile and rubbed our noses together.
"Is that your answer?" I breathed against his lips.
I was suddenly overwhelmed with love and passion and a considerable amount of lust. He pushed his emotions out for me to catch a small glimpse of them, but not enough to actually feel them. Jasper smiled innocently, casting butterfly kisses all over my face.
"What do you think?" he drawled, pressing a soft kiss next to each of my eyes, before locking gazes with me ones again.
We sat in silence, smiling at each other for a ridiculous amount of time until I felt my human needs demand immediate attention.
"I'll need to go to the bathroom, might as well grab a shower.. you could," I paused looking around the room. There wasn't much he could do here. He cocked his head to the side as if deeply in thought and moved his hands up and down my arms, before gently lifting me off his lap and onto the bed again. He stood up then, smoothing out his shirt and jeans and looked out of the window.
"If you don't mind I'd like to go on a quick hunt. Won't be long, half an hour if I hurry up."
His brow was scrunched up in a deep frown when his eyes met mine again. They were black, not flat like Edward's had been in the woods, but sparkling with something else than hunger, something very alike.
Desire. A feeling I thought I knew all to well from all my failed attempts to seduce Edward. But Jasper ignited a completely different fire inside me with the feathery caress of his hands and passionate kisses. His touch, despite being cold, set fire to my skin. A fire that spread through my whole body before concentrating on my very core.
He was still looking at me with that burning eyes and I found myself unable to look away, instead I reached out and pulled him down by his shirt. When his face was only inches from mine, I brushed my fingers along his face, tracing his cheekbones, his nose and his jawline before focusing on his lips. His eyes closed whereas his lips parted, his breath cold against my trembling fingertips.
Just then my stomach decided to growl rather loudly and his eyes flew open again. He smiled a gently smile down at me before pressing a chaste kiss on my lips.
"We should probably both eat something. You go hunt a moose and I'll go for a Pop Tart."
His nose wrinkled at that and I couldn't contain my laughter.
"What's it? Don't you like moooooose?" I stretched the last word, mimicking a moose call. I broke out into a fit of giggles at my own bad joke and it only got worse when Jasper pulled up both his eyebrows in disbelief. He shook his head and grinned down at me.
"Moose isn't that bad actually, but I can't believe that'd you eat something so foul smelling for breakfast." he shuddered lightly. "I get cavities from just looking at it. That is... If I could get cavities..."
My stomach growled again and my bladder felt like it was going to burst any second so I shifted a little uncomfortably on the bed.
"Here's the deal, you go to the bathroom and I prepare something healthy for you. You can shower after that and I'll go for a super duper quick hunt."
I nodded eagerly, shooting him a thankful smile and leaned in for a quick peck before sprinting out into the hall and into the tiny bathroom.
Jasper was really quick. When I arrived downstairs only two minutes later he had cut up two apples and a banana and the microwave beeped happily indicating that it was done. He pulled a bowl of oatmeal out and added honey and cinnamon before placing the cut up fruit on top. I looked up at him, rather surprised by his choice of breakfast. My mom used to serve oatmeal when I was in first grade. It was a quick breakfast that kept me fuller longer than a sandwich or cereal, so it was a good breakfast for long days.
Jasper placed the bowl before me and kissed the top of my head before promising to be right back. The bowl sat before me and I smiled down at my spoon. It's been only a few days but I couldn't deny it anymore, I was in love. When Edward left me I thought I could never love again, my heart was not only broken but shattered. The pieces so small that no glue could put them back together. But today I felt the heartbeat in my chest and it was loud and powerful. My heart, however kaput it may seem was finally strong enough to hold love again.
Author's Note:
Hey there, sorry for the rather long wait. I'm really busy at the moment preparing for my trip to Tunisia and uni that starts right after that. Traveling so close to the beginning of the semester was a bad idea.. xD
First kiss.. uiuiui. Did you like it? I hope it keeps you warm until the next chapter, because it'll take me at least two weeks to update again.
