Disclaimer: Game of Thrones is D&D's property, after being GRRM's property. Or else, Lancel would be the happiest kid in Westeros, should it be mine.

Summary: Bowed, bent and broken, Lancel had tried so hard to be who everyone wanted him to be! But in the darkest of times Life can take some interesting twists.

Author's note: This story is the sister story of Not so different – Arya. Assassin Master Ezio 91 came up with the idea of having this double story, him focusing on his precious Arya, me focusing on my beloved Lancel! Please go check him out!

Author's note 2: English isn't my first language, it's french. If you see any mistake or issue with the language, feel free to tell me so that I can improve.

WARNING! THIS FANFICTION CONTAINS MATURE THEMES SUCH AS DEPRESSION, SUICIDE ATTEMPTS, MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES IF THESE TRIGGER YOU, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO SKIP THIS FANFICTION. THANK YOU.

Not so different – Lancel

Chapter 12

Facing the door, Sansa felt many things. She wondered why she was so surprised by Lancel's house. Was it because it looked like any other house of the neighborhood, with no clear indication of the family's wealth? If anything, it was a a bit bigger and larger, but it was easily explained by a family of six, with a husband, a wife, their four children, going from young adulthood to toddlerhood. And having a built pool was affordable nowadays for everyone who saved some money for such a project. She had expected an old mansion, something extravagent, because Lannisters were known for their pride. Yes, the house seemed old due to its structure, but it was well kept and modernized enough for it to be safe by modern standards and to avoid spoiling its vintage charm.

"I'm so stupid... Kevan Lannister is known for being discrete and his wife even more so."

She also wondered why she was standing there in the first place. It wasn't her place. She had no legitimacy, ringing this bell. Arya was more suitable for this visit. She and Lancel had some kind of bond from the asylum. She was just her sister. And the fact that they had talked once when she visited her sister didn't make her suitable for this. Yet, she had felt this strange yearn to visit him, to make sure he was okay.

"When Arya goes back to school, she'll have friends to welcome her. Lancel, I'm not so sure... Tyrek doesn't attend the same school. And while relatives are important, they aren't friends, it's a different bond after all..."

Taking a a short breath, she gathered her courage and rang. Dorna opened. Sansa knew Dorna, at least she knew what she looked like, having met her while she was still dating Joffrey. The woman's face lit up seeing her.

"Sansa! What a surprise!" She greeted with a warm smile "How can I help you?"

"Hello, Mrs Lannister." Sansa replied shyly. "I... I was hoping to visit Lancel, if he can receive visitors that is..."

The woman's smile only got brighter.

"That's so kind of you! He'll be very happy, I'm sure of it. Come with me!"

Sansa was taken to the gardens, where Lancel was sitting in a long chair, several drawing tools near him. Apparently, he was taking a short break. He seemed to have regained some weight, his cheeks weren't as hollow as they used to be and they had some colours.

"Lancel, sweetie, you have a visitor." Dorna announced softly

He turned to meet her gaze and Sansa could see the shock and surprise, as well as the confusion on his face.

"I'll leave you two be, I'm around if you need me."

Dorna left the two of them alone in an awkward silence. It was only after a mere second that Lancel snapped out of his state and offered her to sit down.

"I... I have to say... I'm surprised to see you here."

As her face was unreadable, he quickly added:

"Not that I mind, of course. I... I'm glad you're here. Apart from family members, no one really came."

He had tried to phrase it as a joke, with a small chuckle at the end, but she could hear how uncomfortable he was, and deep down, how lonely he could feel. No one deserved that. Especially not someone who admitted his mistakes, apologized and tried to make things better.

"How is Arya?" He immediately asked

She smiled, touched he still cared, even after they got out.

"She's getting there, I believe. She smiles more at least. And she had your drawing framed. She absolutely loves it!"

He had a wide smile, touched and she could see a hint of pride in his eyes.

"Then, I'd like your honest opinion on something."

She nodded. He took a canvas he had on the side and passed it to her, after telling her it was okay if she touched paint, it was dry.

"I still need to work some shades here and there, but if you have suggestions."

She looked at the painting, amazed. Arya and him were sitting on a bench in the gardens of the mental home they were in and it was as if she was in front of them as they were talking. Th environment looked like what she could remember of it. She liked that the colours for the place were neutral, tending on the cold side, while the two characters had warmer yet still soft colours, creating a contrast between the sad place and the healing process between the two patients. They seemed surrounded by a discrete light. Everything was sober, soft, apparently simple and yet with so many thoughts and so much work put into it.

"Arya will love it so much... I know I do. You could be a pro."

He kept smiling, though he didn't reply. The door behind them opened before they could add anything and a young girl appeared, reaching for Lancel, a hair elastic in hand.

"Lany, my braid got loose!" She complained

"Janei, your brother has a guest." Her mother gently scolded

The girl turned to Sansa, smiling brightly.

"Hello!"

"Hello, Janei. I'm Sansa." Sansa smiled

"It's okay, Mom. It will take only a minute." Lancel said

Sansa watched as Lancel helped his sister with her hair, being surprisingly good at hairstyling. Once he was done, she thanked him and went back inside.

"I didn't know you had a sister. Brothers, yes, but sister no."

She saw him beaming like she had never seen him do before.

"The twins are my pride, but Janei is my joy."

She realized, at that moment, just how much Lancel was like her. The first child of his gender ( and in his case, the first child to be born from his parents' marriage ) to his parents, born in a home where the parents loved each other and still did to this day, with two little brothers, a little sister, with a silver spoon in his mouth, in a famous family. Both of their fathers were the second sons of their grandfathers, both their fathers had siblings and the same number of brothers and of sisters. Both had married the eldest daughters of business partners. Both of their mothers had the same amount of brothers and sisters too. He too had never known anything else but his golden, sweet bubble before. He had been raised surrounded by love and all he had to do was being healthy, grow up well, until the expectations came in. And from what she knew, they had a common vision of life, perhaps a bit old fashioned, still believing in knights and fair maidens, in the Seven Gods, being proper, true little lords and ladies. Lancel was almost a male version of her. That was scary, in a way.

"You know, my offer still stands." His voice almost starttled her

"What offer?" She asked, confused

"What I had written you."

"Only if you feel up to it. Though I have to say, I'm curious as how I'd look like as a maiden from 300 AC."

"Northener style or King's Landing style?"

"I'll let you decide. I can even come and pose for you."

She remained silent for a few seconds, realizing what she had just said and blushed. He gently laughed.

"Don't worry, I get it. Besides, you'll be able to give me all the gossip."

When Sansa came home that night, she couldn't understand why she felt so hurt when she remembered all that Lancel went through.

What was even more confusing was why she felt so warm inside at the idea they'd see each other again very soon.

To Be Continued