"You ready Mikey?" Michael asked as he looked up from the TV at the doorway to the hall. He was wearing all black, like his female best friend. Michael stood up and switched the TV off.

Mikey nodded silently and together they walked to the garage, neither in a talking mood. Mikey got in the driver's seat while Michael hopped into the other passenger seat. Mikey backed out of the driveway and took off.

Zigzag woke up late that same day at around noon, an unusual thing for him since he tended to wake up in the early morning thanks to habits from Camp that he kept. He showered, dressed, and then walked out of his room. Into the living room of Ozz's one story home, he found the bassist surprisingly awake as he ate a burnt bagel while watching Beavis and Butthead. Zigzag vaulted over the couch and landed with a big bounce on it. "You're awake," he said to his orange haired companion.

Ozz nodded and took another bite out of his bagel. "Yeah, I think you waking me up yesterday after you got back from BJ's screwed me up," Ozz said. He turned his head to look at the grandfather clock in the hallway and noticed the time. "Did we switch our sleep times?" he asked.

Zigzag didn't listen to a word his friend was saying. His hands were on his knees, palms up. The light that came from the TV made the long horizontal scars on the insides of his arms more noticeable. These scars were identical to Mikey's, and it was by coincidence that their scars came from the same actions: cutting. Yet unlike Mikey's scars that were nearly a year old, Zigzag's were many years old.

"Zig, ya listening?" Ozz's voice broke into his thoughts.

He turned his head to look bewilderedly on Ozz. "Huh?" he said stupidly.

"Were you even listening to me?" Ozz asked him, turning in his seat to face the tall blond.

Zigzag shook his head. "No I wasn't," he told him truthfully. "Sorry."

Ozz nodded. "Care to tell me what were you thinking of since you weren't listening to my oh-so-great speech about how the Boston Red Socks are the best?" he asked, a small grin touching his features.

Zigzag sighed and fell back onto the couch. "Just something," he replied.

"And is that something happen to have Mikey in it?" Ozz took a not-so-wild guess. He received a nod in response. "What's the matter this time?" he asked.

Zigzag stayed silent for a long time, making Ozz think that he was never going to answer until he suddenly asked, "Do you think she forgave me?"

"Who, Mikey?" Ozz asked. He answered for him, "Dude, she forgave you a long time ago when she gave you that second chance."

Zigzag entwined his fingers together and put them behind his head, looking up at the ceiling. He could see a dark stain of who knows what that seemed to have been there for a while now. "But I just don't get it. If she was willing to give me a second chance and forgive me, why is it so hard for her to take me back?" he wondered out loud.

Ozz looked up at where Zigzag was looking in confusion before looking back at him. "Well you see, that was sort of the easy part for her to do. It's just," Ozz thought a moment to find the right words how to explain it to the confused, love-sick guy, "Taking you back is the hardest thing for her to do. You know right, that considering what you had done to her, almost raping her and all, that it wouldn't be that easy to take you back . . ." Ozz trailed off, getting his words and thoughts confused. Goddammit, where was Michael when you need him, Ozz cursed. He could tell Zig much better than I can. "You get it right?"

Zigzag nodded, but didn't feel any better. He kinda felt worse. He realized that with what he had done to her, Mikey would be less accepting of him than she would with Bam. Zigzag groaned inwardly and took his hands out from under his wild dirt blond hair, banging it as hard as he could on the couch.

Mikey drove through the rusted black gates that surrounded Oak Hill Memorial Park. She and Michael have been driving for at least half an hour to go from Milpitas to San Jose where the cemetery was located at. They passed the main building and the Chapel of Roses next to it and followed the beaten path. Mikey turned directions at least five times, getting closer and closer to the huge hill that was at the far north of the cemetery. They passed the gigantic fountain with marble sculptures of the prophets in the middle and the lonely American flag that waved slightly by the wind, surrounded by little white crosses of fallen soldiers of war or had served their country.

Mikey bit her lip, feeling the pit of her stomach clench tightly as she drew nearer to the foot of the hill that would have lead to more of the cemetery if she had driven up the slope. But no, she passed that path and parallel parked the car at a free spot on the side of the road. She turned off the engine and let her hands fall into her lap. She felt a hand lay on her shoulder and turned to Michael, seeing the concern in his crystal blue eyes.

"You okay?" he asked softly.

Mikey nodded and took a deep breath, trying to take off the feeling that made her want to bawl out right then and there. "Let's go," she said, opening the car door and stepping out onto the paved street.

Michael took the flowers they had bought on their way here and followed her into the sad, depressing area full of the graves of others loved ones. There were trees in the Memorial Park, some naturally grown and others the people had worked there and planted and had grew over time. There used to be peacocks there too, but just like the newly planted trees had grown over the years, those same years the peacocks slowly stopped appearing in the cemetery. They walked farther from the car and towards a weeping willow tree, its long dangling branches having been cut a bit by one of the gardeners that worked there. Michael pulled back some of the branches and stepped to the side to let Mikey in first. She thanked him and bent a bit and walked inside the cool and slightly dark secluded area, Michael went just after her, letting the branches fall back into place.

In front of them was a tombstone half their height and nearly three times their width. It was made of black granite with three arches, the two on either side of the middle big one identical with gold crosses carved into them. The middle arch had a hole carved in it with a marble angel sitting there. Below that angel were the words also in gold as the crosses, Tobias Halliwell. Mikey could didn't need to go behind the tombstone to read the words carved there. She had them all in memory.

Tobias Halliwell:
Beloved brother of Michelle Halliwell
Loyal friend
Unforgettable person
You will be missed dearly by all who knew and love you

Mikey stepped forward and touched the two pressed hands of the angel. "I miss you so much Toby," she said.

Michael walked up to the grave and bent down to carefully put the flowers, lily of the valley, into the stone base next to the grave. He took a step back and bowed his head, saying a silent prayer to him before looking at the grieving girl. "Do you want me to leave-?"

Mikey shook her head. "It's sad. When someone is gone from your life for a really long time, you start to forget stuff about them. Like, you forget what their voice sounded like and how they loved you so much and how everything you did was completely okay with them," she said, the corners of her mouth twitched into a ghost of a smile.

Michael looked at her sadly and rested a hand on her shoulder. "Tobias was a great man, Mikey. You should know that when you think of all the people who never had come to know him, it isn't as heart breaking for us as we thought," Michael said to her.

A few tears slipped down Mikey's cheek as she contemplated those words. More salty tears turned into a flood of them as she broke into a song.

"I miss you, miss you so bad
I don't forget you, oh it's so sad
I hope you can hear me
I remember it clearly

The day you slipped away
Was the day I found it won't be the same
Ooooh

Nah nah la la la nah nah . . ."

Mikey covered her mouth to keep from sobbing. Michael walked up closer and wrapped his arms around her as he listened, her voice choked up in her tight throat.

"I didn't get around to kiss you
Goodbye on the hand
I wish that I could see you again
I know that I can't

Oooooh
I hope you can hear me cause I remember it clearly

The day you slipped away
Was the day I found it won't be the same
Ooooh

Nah nah la la la nah nah . . .
I miss you . . ."

Mikey wiped her watery brown eyes and walked out of Michael's comforting arms to her brother's headstone. She kneeled down and traced the gold letters that spelled his name. She squeezed her eyes tightly shut and felt more tears prickling her eyelids, deep lonely sadness ripping at her insides. Mikey opened her eyes once more, put her forefinger and middle finger to her lips, and touched the name before standing back up again. She turned to Michael and gave him a faint watery smile as she walked up to him.

As they slowly walked away a few minutes later from the willow, Michael turned to Mikey. "Look, I'm going to go see Grandpa so I'll meet you back at the car in a few," he told her.

Mikey nodded. "Yeah, I still got to visit someone too," she sniffed. Michael nodded in understanding and they departed in different ways; Michael up the hill and Mikey towards the location where the American flag was at. She walked silently in between row upon row of little white crosses; some of the names have been already weathered away. Mikey got found the cross she had been looking for, one of the farthest from the flag, and kneeled down onto the soft grass.

She read the small words carved across the little white stone in black letters: JASON MCGINNIS.

Mikey wiped the tears that poured from her already wet and red eyes. She reached into her black jean pocket and pulled out a pretty old sliver ring with Celtic designs embedded in it. She looked at it hard then placed it on the ground before the football sized cross.

"Hey Jason," Mikey said softly. She didn't care anymore about her free falling tears because she knew no matter what, she'd cry. Mikey looked up to the clear blue sky. "Are you in heaven, Jase?" she asked. "Or are you in Hell like you said you knew you would be in? So you're gone and I know you had me promise I wouldn't cry, and I'm sorry if I broke it. I know you're never coming back and I may never see you again, and well, it hurts. It hurts beyond imagination. And I can't handle it. If only I could hear your voice one more time. . Guiding me through . . . my shining light. ." Mikey sighed and looked back down at the cross. "Maybe that would stop my tears. Maybe if I could just see your face just once more. . my heart would stop its grieving." More tears poured from her eyes so much that Mikey's vision was soon blurry. "Maybe if," she sobbed, "I had told you one more time, just let you know that I do still I love you and that you meant the world to me . . . that would keep my mind at ease. . . I should have told you that day how scared I was going to be without you. Maybe then you wouldn't have left me . . ."

Mikey gave up and her already fragile walls crumbled at the same time she did. She covered her face and sobbed a storm into her hands for all that was lost and taken away from her; for all her loved ones, alive and dead. Her hand took out the gold chain from its hiding place underneath her dark shirt and she clutched onto the gold ornament hanging off. Mikey was so confused and lost and lonely. Her pain was never ending.