"Thanks for coming, Commander," Ashley said, as they stood and watched her sister by the wall. "For the support."

"Of course," Shepard replied. Her eyes were unfocused, thoughts detached from the moment for her own sake. "It's difficult to lose people."

Cortez cleared his throat from where he stood at Shepard's other elbow, and exchanged a glance with Williams before extending a slender frame towards their Commander. "You know that as well as any of us, Commander. Don't think we expect you to just forget."

Shepard paled as she clasped the frame, seeing Thane's face looking back at her from within. It wasn't a portrait, but a snapshot of some moment in time – some moment when he wasn't looking. "Where…"

Ashley motioned towards the memory wall. "Does it matter?"

"Liara found it for us," Cortez said, and put a hand on his Commander's shoulder.

Shepard clenched her jaw as a numbing shiver ran through her and left gooseflesh on her limbs. The docking bay felt too close, muted. The vitality of a hunter glinted in Thane's dark eyes, following some unseen target beyond the scope of the image.

"Take your time," Cortez said, as she stared at the photo.

"I – I need to go over there, don't I? Be the big sister."

"She needs you," Shepard replied in a bare whisper, and looked up to Williams with dry eyes. "She needs you to be strong. Help her remember the warmth of the sun and the sound of his laugh."

"Yeah," Ash replied, and looked to the memory wall. She inhaled deeply before wandering over.

Cortez waited until she was out of earshot. "What was he like?"

"Well…" Shepard pressed her lips together and swallowed a tremor. "You have to keep in mind that a drell remembers everything – no matter how small. He was well-read, attentive, and a perfectionist without fault." Her voice grew quieter. "A philosopher with a shadow over his heart because of what he had done in his life. The galaxy's best assassin. I… I don't think my father would have approved."

"No? Somehow I can't see you with anyone but the best," Cortez replied with a chuckle. He shifted his weight and dropped his arms.

"I should add it to the wall, shouldn't I?"

"You should do whatever you want – maybe even what you need."

The memory of green lip highs and whorling colours superimposed with the soft press of blue beauty. In her thoughts their voices mingled together – the multi-tonal rumble of his to the soft laughter of hers. A trained killer in contrast to a reclusive academic. The hazy memory of Liara's lips in a liquored blur.

She could hear him in her thoughts, hear the first moment he spoke of his death, but already the specifics of his words were growing distant; the clarity he always had was what she lacked. His evolution to acceptance in her absence; how merely seeing him again had erased her uncertainty. He basked somewhere dry, across the sea in a land free of pain and sorrow. Perhaps he would find release in his memories, in the deities and faith that had never found hold in her life.

Shepard took a step towards the memory wall and lost sight of the crowded docking bay and refugees, oblivious to Ashley and Steve's eyes on her as she reached to place the frame within the sea of lost faces.

It was where he belonged. It was what she had to do.

Shepard's head hung heavy, and her eyes swung down to look over the lakes and pockmarked walls of the once pristine Presidium. "So. How are we gonna drive back."

"Hmm, I hadn't really thought that far." Inspecting his bottle, Garrus set the empty drink aside, reaching for the last one to fill for Shepard a glass.

"I bet EDI could fly it," Shepard replied, downing the fuchsia liquor. "Scare them and call in for a rescue."

Garrus laughed a bit, the sound briefly drowned by the whiz of a sky car overhead. "Yeah, anyone who intercepts it knows they're screwed if Commander Shepard is calling for an evac."

Shepard laughed a bit and shook her head. Exhaling heavily, they were quiet before she looked into her empty glass. "I wish we hadn't shot all the booze."

"Have a little faith, Commander," Garrus replied with a groan, and hoisted himself up. With clunking footsteps, he retrieved a crate from the black sky car. Plunking his backside down, the crate clanked between them. "Stick to pink."

Shepard smiled and smacked his arm. "Ahh Mr. Vakarian. Always got my back."

"Mmm," Garrus said, cracking another bottle and motioning at her with it. "I might not if you out-drink me."

"Don't think you can carry me?" Shepard asked, leaning back on an elbow to steady herself. Her eyes skirted the view from their precarious perch.

"Might not want to," Garrus said, opening his own bottle and drinking deep. "Though, it wouldn't be the first time I had to haul your ass back to the ship."

"I'll be sure to leave a note with C-Sec when you pass out."

He narrowed his eyes at her. "Big words for a little human."

"That is cyborg, to you," Shepard said, and swirled her drink. Cocking her brow, she nodded towards his own glass. "Don't hurt yourself - can't be expected to keep up with me."

Garrus stretched a leg out, leaning back beside her and releasing a placating sigh. "Couldn't match my skills with a rifle, so you'll try and beat me with words?"

"Don't have to try. It's a non-contest."
"Really."

Shepard leant closer. "I've got upgrades even you couldn't calibrate."

Garrus shook his head and laughed, his mandibles flexing. "You know, that sort of talk might unsettle Vega, but you're talking to a turian with nerves of steel!"

Shepard smiled and said, "Don't I know it."

Downing the rest of his drink, Garrus watched her a moment before saying, "This is why we came up here."

"Hmm?" Shepard settled back, lying lax like a bag of rice.

"We needed it."

She smirked and opened one eye, squinting in the bright light from the false-sky above. "Feels good to smile for a change. Don't think I have since... since Thane died."

"Shit, I'm sorry, Shepard," Garrus muttered. "I didn't mean to -"
"No, I know," she murmured. A half-drunk, sad smile took her lips, and she laid her head back. Garrus followed suit, and they watched the sky cars zip by, the roar of their motors cutting the quiet. "I miss him."

"He was a good man," Garrus whispered. "Good for you."

Shepard mumbled something to herself, sniffing in before sitting up to finish her drink. She hung an arm on her knee and looked over the lakes again, the fractures and tension creeping back into her features.

"Want to call Vega in a panic? See how good he is at getting up here - thinking we're about to meet our end?"

Shepard smirked and tried not to laugh. "They let you pull stuff like that in the turian military?"

Garrus sat up with a groan. Finishing his drink, he followed where her eyes went. "Naw. But I've always said I wasn't a very good turian."

Laughing a bit, she shook her head to try and stop the growing shake that filled her. She raised a hand. "You do it. I don't think I could keep from laughing."

"Must be terrible," Garrus murmured and cocked his shoulders back. Inhaling deeply, he put his hands out in front of him. There was a small growl in his throat. "Don't look at me, I'll never get it if I'm looking at you."

"You think I'm funny? Do I make you laugh?"

Garrus rolled his eyes and said, "All humans look pretty damned funny to me, Commander."

Shepard chuckled and settled back on her elbows, as Garrus cleared his throat and gathered his composure.

He took up the comm. "Lt. Vega, come in - come in, damn it!"
Throwing an arm over her face, Shepard muffled her laughter and laid back on the white ground of the Presidium upper pylons. A muffled voice responded on the comm.

"I don't care what you're doing - Shepard's down! We need you at our location, hone in on my signal ASAP! We're trapped high up on the presid-" Garrus cut the signal and tossed the communicator aside, as Shepard coughed into a fit of laughter, the sound half lost in the traffic. "There. We have our ride."

Shepard shook her head, laughing despite herself.

"Told you I'd always have your back."

Shepard leant onto the railing beside Liara and looked out over the relative calm of the Presidium. It was a few moments before the asari realized she was there, and looked up from her datapad.

"Oh-h… Commander, I didn't expect to see you."

"Commander now, is it?"

"Would you prefer Shepard? I was also under the impression you hid your first name from the public eye."
Shepard smiled thinly and looked at her clasped hands. "Maybe."

Liara shifted her weight and looked down. "Jade then. How are you feeling? Lieutenant Vega had quite the earful for anyone who would listen when he returned to the ship yesterday evening."

"I bet he did," Shepard said with a laugh, and turned around to lean back on the railing. "I'm alright now. I wanted to see you sooner, but… I was busy being stupid with Garrus. And then I… didn't think it was best if I found you while intoxicated, again."

"Oh," Liara replied, and her cheeks darkened as she looked back at the gardens. "Yes. Maybe that is best. I don't want to say anything you might regret."

Shepard exhaled through her nose, and looked down at her fingers on the rail as she strummed them. She looked at Liara's own hands, noting the tension in them. "There aren't many times in my life I say things I regret. That night wasn't one of them."

"I see," Liara said and tilted her head. "I… don't know what to say."

"I don't know what I'd do without you, Liara. I know this – me, how I act, who I am – it can't have been easy on you."

"It's who you are, Jade," Liara said, the tension in her frame loosening some. "It's who you've always been. Your life hasn't been normal since the first moment I met you."

"I've never been very good at this," Shepard said under her breath, and motioned between them. "I know I've hurt you so much –"

"Don't." Liara furrowed her brow. "We're past all of that. I am just happy to be in your life – to be part of your greatness."

Something darkened in Shepard's eyes, and her voice dropped quieter. "You're the only one who knows all that I know – who sees everything I see. The only one who knew all of this was coming, who believed it and who knows the scope of what we're trying to defeat." She shook her head as Liara made to speak, and placed her hand on top of hers on the railing. "I don't know how much time we have left. But I've spent enough time shut away from the people I care about… the people I… love. I need you. I need you there with me."

"I know," Liara whispered, and looked down at their hands. "I'm not going anywhere."

Shepard exhaled heavily, and glanced at the people moving around the Presidium. "It's hard to be selfish. To take even a moment, when I should be fighting."

Liara shook her head and turned to embrace her. It was a moment before Shepard's arms settled around her, and Liara squeezed her. "It's okay to take a breath. We all need to."

Siha…

His voice was still clinging to her spine as Shepard showered and dressed in her blues. An hour – no two. That might be the best she'd had since their night on the Citadel. She clenched her jaw and her eyes blurred as she brushed her hair and tied it back into a neat bun. Only Tali would really know what the darkness around her eyes meant.

That softened something inside and lightened her step down through the mess hall. She was cracking a ration when Vega's shadow appeared over her.

"I still haven't forgiven you and Scars, you know."

"Mmhmm," Shepard said, and only gave him a cursory glance. She wolfed down the heated pack of high-protein reconstituent. It had fruity over-tones.

"Best hand of my life! And I left it there," James said, as he leant on the counter behind her. "I left everything there."

"I'm sure those refugees need the creds more than you."

Vega huffed and crossed his arms. He kept his eyes on her and continued to pout as she ate.

When Shepard finished, she smacked his arm and said, "Consider it N7 training."
"Yeah, whatever, Lola."

Shepard smiled and licked her lips. "Come and observe my talks with the quarians, then. You need more exposure to the uncomfortable situations that you'll find yourself in."

"I thought you were friends with them?"

"I've learned to assume the worst when going into a room full of politicians."

Shepard gripped the edge of the table and kept her eyes away from the quarian admirals. "Dismissed. I'll have my answer within half a day."

Admiral Ra'an nodded and ushered the others away. When James hesitated, Shepard waved him away, leaving Tali at the table.

"This is the last thing I need right now, Tali," Shepard said through grit teeth.

"You think I don't know that? My people are dying, Shepard!"

"Take a number," Shepard said and pushed up off the table, glancing out the window of the conference room. "Have you seen what's happening in the rest of the galaxy?"

Tali recoiled.

"You know I love you, Tali." Shepard braced her arms on the window and exhaled heavily, before putting a hand to her temple. "This – this isn't anger at you. I don't know how to save everyone. I don't think I can. How do I pick who is going to die while I am here trying to help you invade Rannoch?"
"Retake! We are retaking our homeworld!"

Shepard's voice rose in reply. "While I'm here helping two of my allies decimate each other, the rest of them – my people, Garrus' people – are being harvested by the Reapers! And no matter what, I will be losing out! Whether it's you, or them, or..." She lapsed into silence and ran a hand over her mouth, exhaling heavily.

"I didn't want this, Shepard, you know I didn't!" Tali replied and edged closer. "I haven't heard from Legion in months – I think they did something to him, they must have. He never would have let this happen."

"Let it happen? Did the geth have a choice this time?" Shepard asked in a veiled whisper. "I know the Admiralty board isn't telling me everything – when I was taken to Earth, you and the geth were on speaking terms. The quarians tried to eradicate them before – from where I'm standing, this just looks like you're trying to finish the job."

Tali huffed before saying, "It was Daro'Xen – happy? Her and that niece of hers, they found my father's research and used it against the geth. I tried to stop them, but I am just one person!"

"Maybe grant me the same courtesy?"

Tali's voice weakened. "I did everything I could, but she and Han'Gerrel –"

"Your father's friend... he turned against you?"

"He certainly doesn't see it that way - Tali, this was what your father wanted, he did it all for you. I didn't ask for any of it!"

The hum of the ship hung between them.

"I'm sorry, Tali," Shepard whispered and stepped closer to her. "I had no idea what was going on with the Fleet. I wish I had. I'm your captain."

"We've been cut-off from the rest of the galaxy – even the most basic news has been a struggle to obtain. The geth isolated us by trapping our ships. It's been horrible... but you're alive. I can't tell you what it meant to learn you were alive."

Shepard exhaled and pulled Tali in for a hug. "There's something we can both agree on."

"That you're happy you're alive? Gee thanks, Shepard."

She stepped back and chuckled, "Anytime."

"So what do we do now?"

Bridging a hand over her brow, Shepard sighed. "We suit up and find a way onto that dreadnaught. What else can we do?"

"Thank you for being here - for helping us. It means a lot."

"Like I said, I'm your captain. It's my duty," Shepard said and gave Tali's shoulder a squeeze. "And even if I weren't – what are friends for?"

"I need more friends willing to lead a ship into war."

"There's always Garrus? I'm sure he'd do it if you gave him one. Scratch that, where would our guns be without his diligent calibrations?"

Tali chuckled and shook her head.