A/N: I like dashes... Maybe too much. I should stop using them.

I'm sorry this is so long, aha. I guess I got too into it... I'd cut it, but there was no good place I could.

And their relationship is totes not going fast (I mean, Souji/Yu made Naoto fall in love with him in 2 weeks, so why can't Erin? Yup, that's my excuse...)


And all she keeps inside, isn't on the label
She says she's ashamed
And she can take me for a while
And can I be a friend, we'll forget the past
But maybe I'm not able

10/9/2011

Naoto never had stability in her life, having lost both her parents at a young age—she couldn't remember their faces, couldn't remember what they sounded like, or the years that preceeded the accident. A case of amensia? Of course, she loved her grandfather; after all, he was the reason she became a detective, the person who sparked her fascination for finding the truth, but he couldn't give her that security she needed, not when he was off on cases, and she spent her days alone at the estate, waiting for his return like a good girl should. She never had a mother figure to look up to, take her under her wing (there are days—rare days where she's left with nothing to do, but stare into space, having had all her work done—when she wonders if things would of been different if she had). But she found things to fill the void. She overworked herself, and hid from the world, put so many walls up to protect herself from feeling that vulnerable again—stood on her toes, acted a bit braver, a bit more mature—but after meeting, and getting to know the Investigation Team (and maybe more importantly, Erin Suzuki) everything... Shifted. She was still trying to figure out if that was a good thing, or not.

She found what she was looking for (and some of what she wasn't—a friend, a mother, someone to rely on) in Erin. What made her so different was her sincere want to get closer to her (her—not who she wanted, or tried to be, but the real, flawed Naoto Shirogane; at first, it scares her). When she's with her, she feels weaker. Not physically, but emotionally—like she's been opened up, and spread apart, exposed, and transparent on an operating table. She lets her see the parts of her that she's kept so hidden under lock, and key (whether she wants to or not). The ones that weren't so pretty. Ugly, and raw (but Erin doesn't seem to care eitherway). She looks at her with such adoration in her eyes, such worship from the start, and Naoto isn't really sure what to make of that (she stares back at her, eyes narrowed, dissects her until her head begins to hurt, but she still can't comprehend why she's wasting her time on her when she has many other friends. Yosuke-senpai, for example). She hated the idea of someone knowing everything about her; some things were best left secret. But Erin was persistent, probed, and prodded her, pulled her until she gave up, and she just let go. Of her emotions, of her composure.

She's been alone for so long that she's forgotten what it's like to have someone by her side. Have someone look out for her, and hold her hand, save her when she's fallen down.

Smile at her like she's worth something.

And maybe that's why she seeks out her company just as much (wants to get to know her too; know the things that make her click, make her stop. See the gears inside her head).

Naoto certainly would've never come out to Okina city—a close match to the industries, and pollution fumes of bigger cities some miles away, the very thing she's grown to detest since moving to her small apartment in Inaba—on her own for a day out, not when there was a murder culprit running around, but here she was, fixing her yellow tie once, twice, looking for a head of curly red hair in the crowds that sped by her without a second glance. It was the weekend, so people were out doing their clothes shopping, watching a movie, or chatting nearby at the rounded tables outside Chagall Cafe, about the latest gossip, or what they had seen on TV (Naoto Shirogane wasn't an eavesdropper, not even a smidge, but she had caught snippits of conversations—none of which pertained to the current murder investigation, so she eventually tuned out altogether).

The handful of girls that passed her wore ruffled skirts, and blouses made of lace, and ribbons (not always, she discovered, but some sort of variation); a strange thought crossed her mind. She had never worried about her wardrobe before, but now found herself wondering if she was underdressed—she should've opted for something more dressy, more casual? Good enough would never be enough for her. This was supposed to be a date wasn't it?

'Date...'

For some reason, the word makes her tongue click, and her throat tighten. Was this a date? Or merely two friends hanging out?

"Naoto-kun!" The voice is gentle, but polished, a soft hand brushing through her hair, a whisper on the wind; she recognizes it immediately, and turns around, not even bothering to hide the relief that flashes on her face.

Maybe she didn't need the answer now (or better yet, she didn't have the answer now).

Change was something that had always frightened her—that was what her Shadow had said wasn't it? That she was still a child, stuck in the past—even if she herself hadn't admitted to it outloud.

"Senpai!"

But she thinks she can deal with it in time. Fortune was on her side.

"Sorry, I... Got lost on my way here..." Is the excuse she supplies her, a crooked smile on her face, a sheepish laugh bubbling up her throat. She's lived in Inaba for almost three months now (it feels much longer than that), but she still manages to forget where she's supposed to go, which road leads her to where she's supposed to be.

"Don't worry about it," The bluenette smiles back like she means it, and holds her hand out to her; the brim of her hat is just low enough to hide her red cheeks, "Well then, shall we?

Erin's face reddens (Naoto refuses to believe she's blushing just as bad), and she reaches down, hand slipping quietly into hers. "Y-Yes..."

A perfect fit.


As expected, the cafe is packed once they walk inside—the blast of airconditioning is a welcome relief from the warmth outside—but they manage to get a table close to the entrance, though it's a tight squeeze. Erin wastes no time bombarding her with questions; for once, Naoto doesn't seem to mind.

"So-um... I... Wasn't keeping you from anything, was I? I-I mean, I know how busy you are..." Erin Suzuki was many things, one of them being panicked. She couldn't stand the thought of bothering someone for anything (honestly, she had asked the question at least 10 times already, through their text message conversation before this). But there was something strangely charming about it, and it didn't fail to bring a small smile to Naoto's face.

"Not at all. I was the one who suggested this outing, wasn't I?"

"W-Well... Yeah... Yeah, I guess you're right," She looks up at her through her eyelashes (Naoto swears she's close enough to count each individual one), and mirrors her smile, albeit with less confidence."I'm sorry, I'm just a little nervous. Since, you know... I've never been on a date before." She adds emphasis on the word "date," and Naoto's stomach clenches painfully. There's that word again... Hadn't she been the one who used it yesterday? Now, she couldn't even wrap her lips around it or say it outloud, without feeling something she didn't want. What was this? Why now? Why all of a sudden? Weakly, she licks her lips, realizes her throat's too dry, and she's thirsty (but the waiter seems to be busy with another table not far from their own). She briefly considers banging her head on the table for some semblance of clarity, but figures that wasn't the right way to go about this (and Erin's already staring at her like she's grown a second head).

She loosens her tie a little, but that doesn't seem to help either. All the heat rises to her face, and she is unpleasantly aware. "Ah... Forgive me, Rin-senpai, I...—actually, will you excuse me for a moment?" Before she has time to reply, the detective is already up, and moving towards the door in the back. Meanwhile, Erin slouches in her seat, eyes to the table, wondering what she could have possibly done wrong to leave the other so uncomfortable, so fast...

Was it something she said?

This was hardly the first time they've been out together (in fact, it wouldn't be inaccurate to say that they had spent most of their days together during, and after Naoto's recovery), so why was everything so different now? Was it because they weren't in Inaba? Because they were out in public, or...?

...

Erin frowns. That had to of been it. She was embarrassed by her. And why wouldn't she be? She was awkward, and clumsy, and said the wrong thing at exactly the wrong time. No wonder she had left in such a hurry.

The waiter comes by the table some time later, wearing a tight smile, and a dark colored vest over a plain white dress shirt. She orders herself a muffin, and figures Naoto would want a cup of coffee (black of course).

"Coming right up!"


The word had been used harmlessly before (she never meant anything by it; it felt right to say at the time), but now... Her hold on the countertop tightens, to the point that her knuckles have turned white. The implications behind it have come up, and simmered over the surface, and she isn't so sure of the rush of emotions that are coursing through her as of right now. She's never felt this way before (to be fair, this would also be the first time she's been this close to someone her own age).

This was nothing like those love letters she recieved in her locker (those girls didn't know her, would never know her). This was different.

So, very different... She feels terrified, and nervous, but happy all at once (she liked being with her, sure; she was pleasant, and easy to talk to, maybe more than the other members). The question was, what to do about it? She thought she had cast away such feelings when she became a detective, but this girl (whom she's only known for a few weeks) has been able to shred through that, and bring out another side to her so easily.

Beside her on the sink, her phone rings, letting her know that she recieved a new message. With some reluctance, she flips it open. The screen flickers to life.

naoto-kunnnn~! guess whut? (~ ̄▽ ̄)~ i had a blast w/suzaku-senpai! hehe, he's so cute ≧◡≦ u were w/rin-senpai right? tell me how it goes after skool tom xoxo

Rise certainly had an interesting way of texting (truthfully, she found the faces, and shortened phrases as a bit of an eyesore)... Though, she didn't fair any better. She wasn't used to it. Her phone was meant for business calls, new cases (because she didn't have any friends she could talk to), and her clients typically called if they needed anything, as it seemed more professional that way. But she didn't want to leave her classmate hanging, so she quickly types her reply.

I WILL LET U KNOW ASAP

Then closes her phone.

She was happy for her, of course. She had noticed the side-long glances she gave him at meetings, and she talked about him frequently in class. As she thought more about it, she realized mostly everyone on the team had someone—Yu and Yosuke, Chie and Yukiko, even Teddie and Kanji seemed to get along well enough.

And then there was her, and Erin.

At first, she had figured there was something strictly platonic between them, but the way she was talking back at the table... She swallows painfully.

"Perhaps, I'm overthinking things... Yosuke-senpai did mention I should go with the flow more..." With a nod, and the slightest of smiles (the most she can manage with her emotions still in a confusing whir), Naoto walks back out, and towards her senpai. "I apologize... I should've left you like that... It was rude of me, to say the least." Her eyes lower to the table.

"What? Oh, no, no, it's fine!"

"It's just... I'm having some trouble sorting out my feelings..." Under the table, she wrings her hands together, looks away before she catches her expression.

Erin blinks, and gives her a puzzled look, head cocked to the side. "Feelings...?" Was she talking about them?

Naoto reddens. Of all the conversations she's had thus far, this had to of been one of the most awkward, "Y-Yes... I must admit that, over these past few weeks, I've grown somewhat of an attachment to you," She blushes more, and dares a glance in Erin's direction, who looks equally flustered, "I'm still trying to figure out what this is, myself..." She trails off, realizes she might've said too much, then quickly says, "I'm sorry... I'm boring you, aren't I?"

"N-Never!" She reassured her, "Actually, uh... Do you wanna get out of here? Oh! Um... T-That is, if you don't mind..."

Her smile (that had creeped back on her face) broadens, "Certainly, I'm sure there's plenty we can do in Okina."


They ended up walking around for the next hour, idly chatting, but they didn't end up buying anything (Naoto was just glad that the atmosphere felt less strained, and her cheeks had returned to their normal color). By the time they were finished, the sun was setting behind a powdery blue sky.

"I had a really great time, Naoto-kun."

"As did I, we should do this again sometime."

"Oh! O-Of course!"

Erin's eyes suddenly disconnect from hers, and gaze off in the distance, specifically towards a patch of grass by the benches. Naoto didn't understand, it didn't appear to be anything special to her. "Ah, I'll be right back..." Curious, Naoto looks after her, and watches as she plucks an orange flower from the ground (a chrysanthemum, she believes), then comes back to the spot beside her. A shy smile adorns her pale face, "I-uh used to pick these all the time as a kid... There were so pretty." Just like you, she wants to add, but decides against it. Before she can react, Erin expertly threads the flower through her hair; her eyes seem to shine in this light, "There. Perfect." Naoto's face positively burns, and once again, she finds herself at a loss of words.

She runs her hand across the rim of her trademark hat, before tugging it down, and over her eyes, "W-We should... Get going, shouldn't we...?

Realization washes over the other's face as she bobs her head quickly, "R-Right! I-I'll walk you home, Naoto-kun!"

When Naoto is home (it's well past six o'clock, she realizes; stars litter the sky out her window), she removes the flower from her hair, and presses it into a book, holds it close to her chest. A warmth spreads from her fingertips, up to her face, and for a moment, she feels invincible.

'Until we meet again...'


I failed.