A/N: Hey, look! I'm not dead! So turns out that I have horrible work ethic and I can never get anything done, so that's my excuse.

Also, I'd like to address the guest that went on a rant in the reviews: I am not a baby hater, nor is Vinyl. Having a child is a HHHHUUUUUGGGGEEEE responsibility and it would most definitely limit Vinyl being out late at parties, DJ-ing. That's why it's so off-putting of an idea. With your mindset and disregard for thinking ahead, Guest, I sure as hell hope you don't end up having children, because we don't need more people who rush right into pregnancy without thinking about it.

Honestly, you're "punishing" me for not writing MY story the way YOU want? You are simply an idiotic individual and I hope you never come back to my story. You made empty threats of writing fanfictions about me (yes, I did look and they weren't there. I was actually looking forward to laughing at what you thought would be an attack on me) you hid behind a guest name, and WORST OF ALL your grammar, as a human being, is PATHETIC. You infuriate me with your stupidity. Have a nice day :)

Also, get over the dream, Guest. Seriously, it's a dream. I needed a filler, I let my imagination run wild. Who the hell cares?

But I digress, right? Thinking back on my previous chapters, I wish that I had planned them out more, but I guess it's too late for that. Anyway, for a special feature of this chapter, it is told from the third person, just to spice things up a bit.


Constructive criticism is always welcome. Please enjoy...

The Adventures of Steam Funk: Ch. 10 (Which is actually going to be chapter 12 so that Fanfiction and this say the same thing.)


The two sat at opposite ends of the small rectangular table, laughing; partially eaten daisy sandwiches remained on their plates and crystal glasses held a fine red wine from the cellist's personal collection.

"So I was standing there while Vinyl was up on the stage, holding a mic by her mouth, and began to sing karaoke," Octavia said, stifling a laugh. "A-and she had so many drinks that she could barely stand, let alone sing!" The two of them laughed at the thought, Octavia taking a sip of her wine to wet her dry throat from laughing so hard.

"Anyway, long story short, Vinyl had gotten us kicked out of the bar and I had to hold her mane back while she lost her stomach in a toilet." The green pegasus across from her let out a laugh.

"I can't wait 'til Steam hears that story! Well, that is if Vinyl hasn't already told him," he chuckled. "And you didn't get drunk at all?" he asked, taking a small sip of his drink. Octavia shook her head.

"No, I try to stay sober when I'm supervising Vinyl, but there have been a few times when she's gotten me a bit tipsy." She shook the thought away. "But that's a story for another time."

"Haha, yeah. I've had enough drunk stories for one night. Don't want to be laughing too hard," he said, smiling at her. "Thanks for having me over. Me being new, it's not too easy to make friends. Except for Pinkie Pie, I guess." Octavia giggled.

"You're very welcome; and yes, she is quite the friendly pony. I have to admit, though, she most certainly knows how to throw a party." The cellist thought of how many parties that the pink mare had hosted that she had been dragged to by Vinyl because she was DJ-ing. The number was not small.

"So how do you like it here in Ponyville?" she asked him, picking up her sandwich and taking a small bite out of it.

"It's awesome so far! Definitely a lot better than where I lived before," he exclaimed, thinking of Earth.

"You said you lived in Coltiff, right? I've played there and it wasn't too bad, or at least it seemed nice," she responded. It was a very nice city with Victorian-styled buildings and architecture. It definitely had a bit of an old feel to it, but she appreciated it. Timid shook his head.

"No, it wasn't the place, but more of how I lived there," he said. "Do you know what I mean?" She stared at him, giving a weak smile.

"No, not really," she admitted, sipping on her wine. He laughed and shook his head.

"Haha, yeah, I didn't think you would. It's complicated." He, too, took a swig of the wine. "Well, what about you? Why did you start living in Ponyville?" Octavia looked up at the ceiling as she thought.

"Well, when my parents had me, they lived in an area near Coltiff, but never close enough to visit. Then when I was eight, we moved to Manehattan. I learned all about etiquette, or as Vinyl would say, 'fancy-shmancy stuff'. I loved to play the cello and I ended up joining my school's band. Then, the school decided to form an elite ensemble and put me in it with a few other students. We had stuck together and traveled to do formal parties and some concerts. We even performed at the Grand Galloping Gala!" she said, taking a longer drink from her wine glass.

"I met Vinyl one night after a orchestral concert, which she was dared to go to by one of her friends, and we started to talk. I hated her from the start: all of her electronic sounds and 'wubs'; they drove me insane. But being the proper lady I was, I listened to her and kept my remarks to myself, and as I learned about everything you had to do to make a song like that, I found out it was rather difficult! Then I realized that we weren't so different, she and I. Genre be damned. It's the music that drives us; the harmonies that bind us; the friendship that found us..." She drifted off into thought, those words sounding rather odd, but they felt right to say. Almost as if she had said them before. She then snapped back to reality.

"But who wants to listen to all of that cheesy nonsense?" She went to take a sip of wine, but found that her glass was empty. "Hey Timid, can you hoof me that bottle of wine?" she asked.

"Uh, yeah. Sure," he said, surprised at how she had gone through an entire glass of wine in such a short amount of time. Reaching over, he pushed the metal pail, which held the bottle of wine in ice, towards her.

"Thank you very much. This particular wine is very good, if you couldn't tell. It's been aged for years! I normally don't get out such an expensive wine, but this is somewhat of a special occasion." She had trouble aiming the opening of the bottle over top of her glass, bumping them together a few times with a pitched "clink". Timid noticed this.

"Apparently being the one to not drink has caused her to not build up a tolerance. And she drank that glass pretty fast..." he thought to himself. He didn't feel comfortable about the whole situation.

"Octavia, I think you're a bit drunk. I'm going to go and let you sleep it off," he said, standing up. Octavia scrunched her nose at the statement.

"Me? Drunk? Why, I don't think so!" she protested.

"I think so. You drank that entire glass of wine in under a minute or two. There's no way you aren't drunk." Octavia put the wine bottle down rather unsteadily, making it wobble before settling.

"Timid, I promise you, I am not drunk. I'm just a bit... tipsy," she said, Timid almost certain he could see a bit of drunken blush on her countenance. Still standing, he gave the thought of leaving a few more seconds, until he sighed and sat down.

"If you say so, Octavia." She grinned widely.

"Please, call me 'Tavi." Her voice carried a slur and an attempt of seductiveness. The pegasus' wide smile turned to a weak one and he nodded, continuing to sit in silence. There were no sounds other than the grandfather clock in the living room and the occasional hoot of an owl. Then, the quiet was broken by the "tipsy" cellist.

"Timid, there's something I've been meaning to tell you," she said, a sheepish grin appearing on her face.

"Yes Octavia? What is it?" he said, cocking his head in suspicion. She gave a small smile and looked into his eyes.

"You are quite the attractive stallion," she said.

"R-really?" he said, a bit surprised at the comment. Even though he knew she was under the influence, he chose to ignore it and think the complement was sincere.

"Yes, really. Ever since I met you, I was attracted to you," she said. "You're just so... delectable."

"Um, that's great! I've always been attracted to you, too," he said, flustered. She stood up from her chair and slowly advanced on him while keeping eye contact.

"Why would I doubt her and think she was drunk? She's admitted her feelings and coming to give me a hug," he thought.

"Kiss me," she blurted out. His eye twitched.

"Nope, she's drunk," he thought. He scootched the chair out from the table and he got up.

"Uh, listen, I really like you a lot, but I definitely think you might have had a bit too much wine." Before he could move, she surged forwards and planned her lips on his.

"Mhh!" he exclaimed, muffled by her lips. They held in that position for a moment, Timid tasting the alcohol in her stale breath. He knew this was wrong, but he let her go on, figuring that she would have to breath eventually. Soon enough, she broke apart and took a breath.

"See? Wasn't that fun?" she asked, smiling lazy-eyed from the liquor.

"Um, oh! Do you hear that? I think Steam is calling me! I should really get going," he said, walking away from the table. She put her foreleg out in front of him, stopping him.

"No he isn't. He's at a party with Vinyl," she said, smugly. "Besides, your friend looks like he enjoyed it." Timid raised an eyebrow and looked down at his stallionhood to see it was fully erect.

"Ah, um..." he murmured, trying to cover himself. "Darn, why now?!" he thought to himself. Without further discussion, she moved him to the couch in the living room.

"Now now, Timid. Let Octavia take care of you," she cooed, closing the blinds over the windows (stumbling a few times while reaching for them). She sat next to him and moved close. She puckered and closed her eyes, waiting for Timid.

He swallowed hard, slightly beginning to lean in, but stopped himself, not able to do it.

"She's drunk. Just leave. Get out before you do something both you and her will regret," he thought. She raised an eyelid, seeing that he wasn't moving.

"What's wrong?" she asked, looking at him with curious eyes.

"I... I can't do it. I'm sorry. I can't take advantage of you when you're drunk," he said, moving away, but she put both of her hooves on his shoulders, a desperate look on her face.

"Please," she said. "You aren't taking advantage of me! I want this!" She paused. "At least let me touch it," she pleaded.

"Mmh," he mumbled, looking into her puppy-dog stare, wanting to buck her brains out so bad. "Don't do it!" he shouted at himself, trying to get up and leave, but his stupid male brain won.

"O-okay, just a little bit," he said, still unsure. Octavia's expression lit up and she moved close to him again. Using her hoof, she slowly brought it down to his sex and touched it, it reacting by bobbing slightly. She began to stroke it, feeling it up and moaned as she continued, tilting his head back and enjoying the experience. He knew he shouldn't be doing this, but she was only touching, so it wasn't that bad, right?

He then felt something wet touch his rod. Alarmed, he looked down to see Octavia kneeling on the ground in front of him, licking the length of his phallus, then inserting it into her mouth, taking more and more in.

"Oc–! Octavia! Stop!" he gasped, all of this taking him by surprise. She engulfed his entire rod in her mouth, bobbing her head in rhythmic fashion.

"Oh geez..." he moaned. He knew this was wrong and bad, but on the other hoof, he was getting a blow job from the mare of his dreams. He wanted to push her off, but he could not bring himself to do it—feeling too weak combined with the part of him not wanting her to stop. Timid looked to see her steadily working at his rod, her eyes closed and leaning to the side every few seconds, only to catch herself and keep going. The longer he sat there and did nothing, the faster she got and the closer he came to his cork popping and letting his champagne fly.

"Okay, I think that's enough, Octavia!" Timid shouted, but his voice meant nothing to Octavia now. She had been tuned out of everything happening around her and forced to only focus on her primal urge for sexual needs. The pegasus tried pushing her away, but she held fast, not deterring from her task in the slightest. Timid's shaft jerked nervously as he was getting closer and closer to his climax. His pleas for Octavia to stop went into incoherent babbling as he could not hold in any longer.

"Get off!" he managed to say, but she didn't even hear him. He used his hooves to try and quickly move her head off his member, but it was too late.

"Ah buck!" he exclaimed, her mouth popping off of his head and making him lose it.

With his sex giving a twinge, he came hard all over her face—the white goo dribbling off her snout. He rubbed his member as it emptied, relaxing from all the sudden excitement and the pain of trying to hold himself in for so long.

They both sat in silence, Octavia next to him with bits of cum on her countenance, and Timid wearing a relieved expression. Then, the reality of what had just happened set in. Timid looked at her and shook his head, speechless. Octavia, whether she had sobered up some from the experience or her hormones were now cooled, was now trying to comfort him, realizing that what she had done was wrong.

"Timid, please. I didn't–" she started, but was cut off by him standing up.

"I'm sorry, I've got to go," he said, and quickly made his way to the door. Before another word could escape Octavia's mouth, he was already out the door, galloping down the road to the Golden Oaks Library.


As he came into sight of the library, his gallop slowed to a trot. The recent events kept running on a loop through his mind: dinner; stories; drinking; flirting; sucking; running. He wasn't sure what he should have done at the time, but getting away seemed like the best idea. He arrived at the door of the large tree and entered; all of the lights were blown out inside.

He raised an eyebrow, walking inside and looking around. It was silent with no sign of the two occupants who lived there. Then, he remembered what Twilight had told him earlier, how she and Spike were going to some party at Sugar Cube Corner. He, himself, was actually asked to go, now that he thought about it, but he declined the invitation because of his dinner with Octavia.

"Looks like more lonely time for Ivan," he sighed to himself, shuffling over to his room in the library. Walking up to a door below the staircase which led up to the loft where Twilight and Spike would normally sleep, he turned the knob and pushed it open, entering the room to see his bed and a small window looking out into the desolate night. It was almost completely dark in the space—only a few bars of moonlight sifted through the round window to illuminate the bed frame, a closet, and a nightstand, with which he placed his watch and glasses on.

The troubled stallion sat down on the edge of the bed, looking off into the foreverness of his thoughts. Different scenarios circled through his mind as to if it all could have happened differently. Finally, he leaned back and flopped onto the bed, his forelegs sprawling out.

"Why? Why why why?!" he cried out, placing his hooves on his face. He felt like crying, but was too exhausted from both the sex and the run home. "Why did you have to get drunk, 'Tavi? Why did I let you suck me?" he asked aloud. Being alone in the house was a blessing since he didn't have to worry about anyone overhearing him.

"You're probably going to hate me when you realize what happened," he sighed, letting out a hefty yawn. He could not believe how quickly things escalated, going from a nice dinner to a porno film within minutes. That just seemed to be how things happened in Equestria: quickly. The whole thing was exhausting and he just wanted to forgot about it.

"I wonder if the Doctor has some contraption to wipe away memories," he said, half joking and half serious. He would have to sort it out in the morning; thinking straight wasn't an option at the moment, so the pegasus decided that sleep was his best choice. Timid let out a groan, his body unwound, his eyelids became heavy, and he let out a long sigh to set him at ease.

"I'm sorry, 'Tavi," he whispered, and within minutes he fell asleep. A small tear ran down his cheek as he drifted off.


Octavia sat there as he left. She moved the blinds out of the way just in time to watch him gallop off around the corner.

She felt horrible.

"Timid was so worried about me regretting doing this because it would hurt my feelings, but it was the exact opposite," she sighed, turning back around to sit on the couch. "I embarrassed him and ignored what he said just so I could fulfill my desires from drinking." Her drunkenness had worn off enough to let her think a little more straight, but the taste was still in her mouth.

"He won't want to talk to me now," she wept, burying her head in her hooves. She had dated before, but she never really liked any of them. Then again, she never even chose them:they were all introduced to her by Vinyl. "And now when I finally meet somepony that I truly like, I screw it all up by drinking. It was only to relieve my anxiety! Why didn't I just breath or something?!" She felt somewhat depressed, getting up from the sofa and moving to the kitchen.

The gray earth pony had noticed that there were still bits of cum on her face. Shaking her head at the result of all this, she grabbed a dish rag and cleaned herself. She questioned if she should taste it or not, but decided against it, thinking it wouldn't be right, especially after all that had just happened.

"No, Octavia. Doing that would only mean defeat by your drunken purpose," she told herself, sternly. Looking at the table, she saw the bottle of wine sitting there, almost as if it were taunting her. She growled.

"This is all because of you!" she screamed, throwing the bottle at the wall and watching it shatter. The sound of the glass breaking sent chills down her spine, her sudden rage subsiding immediately. "Apparently I'm still too intoxicated to deal with this," she sighed. Taking the same towel she used to wipe her face, she cleaned up the wine and picked up the glass shards, discarding them into the trash.

Octavia walked up the stairs to the second floor of the house. She passed the bathroom, wondering if she should take a shower to relax, but she just wanted to sleep. Continuing down the hall, she walked into her bedroom. The room sported a short, vaulted ceiling, one window that overlooked the street in front of the house and two more on the side, and a bed on the opposite wall of the street window.

The room was quite simple, but the furniture inside was another story: a dresser that was hoof-crafted with decorative handles on each drawer, a small walk in closet with all of the cellist's performance clothes, and her prized cello sat in the corner with a music stand in front of it and a bow resting on top of that.

She laid down on her bed, which had an upper frame with white drapery flowing down from the top to add an even more regal feel to it. She rolled over to look at the clock on the nightstand next to her.

"Ten forty-five," she stated. "I'll bet Steam and Vinyl are having a great time right now at that party." She felt sorry for herself, but she felt even worse for Timid. She knew she could do nothing about it, and closed her eyes, sleep soon finding her.


Timid slowly opened his eyes, light filtering in through the window. Dust was sent circling through the air as he exhaled, then continuing to drift downwards on some unnoticeable breeze. Raising up his forelegs, he stretched, groaning and rolling over to find a more comfortable spot. Although something felt off, like he was forgetting something.

"What was it?" he asked himself, struggling to remember. He wondered if it were the remnants of a dream that he had or if he was suppose to do something. "Steam 'died' yesterday. Maybe that was it?" he thought, but he shook his head. Going through the events of the day before, he followed the timeline, trying to remember if anything new had happened yesterday. Then, as he neared the end of everything that had taken place, it all came flooding back to him.

"Octavia!" he gasped. He groaned, putting his hooves up to his face. Vivid memories from last night flooded into his mind, flashing like a slide show on steroids; the pictures flew through his mind going a mile a minute.

"Crap," he sighed. "There's still the slightest chance that it was a dream," he suggested, trying to remain optimistic.

"Yeah, it must have been a dream! Octavia gave me a blow job! Of course it was a dream! How could anything as absurd as that happen?!" the pegasus exclaimed, only to begin crying again knowing full well that it was not a dream. "Oh buck! Oh BUCK!"

He sat motionless in the bed for some odd number of minutes. He came to, back from his thoughts, and sighed, rolling off the bed and onto his hooves. He stretched, looking out the single window of the room, which still had dusty bars of light shining through like last night, but instead colored by Celestia's rays of yellow. Reaching over to the nightstand, he grabbed his watch and fez and placed them on his wrist and head, respectively. He then rest his glasses on the bridge of his nose and stood up.

His door creaked open and he exited the small room. From the kitchen he heard voices—voices of the occupants of the library, to be exact. Timid strolled over and into the room, seeing Twilight and Spike as he entered. Twilight was seated at the table and Spike was over at the counter in his (absolutely adorable) pink heart apron and chefs hat, making what seemed to be pancakes. Timid smiled at the two and made his way over to the table. The unicorn looked over to him and grinned, her mane somewhat out of place.

"Good morning, Timid!" she said, cheerfully. The pegasus nodded.

"Morning Twilight. I like the new manestyle." She gave him a quizzical look before grabbing a spoon and looking into the back of it, revealing to her the bad case of bed head that occupied her hair. She quickly scrambled and fixed it, giving a small, embarrassed chuckle as she did.

"Sorry, I haven't taken my morning bath yet." Timid gave a smile.

"It's fine. How did the party go?" She chuckled to herself before answering the question.

"It was good, but then again, when isn't one of Pinkie's parties good?" She took a sip of orange juice and looked back up at him. "How was your dinner with Octavia last night?" she asked, innocently.

With a shrug, he sighed, "Not that well." Her eyes grew wide with concerned interest.

"Why? What happened?" she said, softly.

"Um..." he thought. Telling Twilight about something as personal as the events that took place the night before was not the greatest idea in the world, but he did not want to lie to her, either. Timid decided to just tell the truth, but skirt around the edges. "Um... Octavia just had a bit too much to drink and I decided to leave." The bookworm's expression changed from curiosity to pity.

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. I understand now why you just came back here instead of stopping at the party," she said. Things became silent as neither of them knew what to say. The clatter of Spike behind Twilight caught her attention and gave her an opportunity to change the topic. "How are those pancakes coming, Spike?" The dragon turned his head away from the counter with a whisk in his hand.

"Just fine, Twi. I'm mixing up batter for the second batch and the first is almost-" He was cut off by a ding from a kitchen timer on the counter. "Done!"

He set down his whisk and walked over to a cabinet, taking out three plates—one larger than the other two—and a spatula. He came over to the table and set it, placing the china in front of the two ponies and the larger one in the middle. He then grabbed the griddle off of the stove top and came back, using the spatula to scoop and place the fresh pancakes onto the large plate in the center. He backed away and bowed, kissing his fingertips and spreading them apart like a true Italian (or maybe Istallion, with this being Equestria and all) saying, "Bon appetit." Timid was slightly impressed.

"Interesting. Let's see how they taste," he said, taking a bite. "Mmh! Fantastic!" Twilight raised an eyebrow at his enthusiasm.

"Oh really? I'll be the judge of that." She gripped the fork at her side with her magic and cut off a piece. She pierced the morsel and brought it to her mouth and closed, chewing for a slight second before letting out a savored, "Mmmmm...!" Spike chuckled and crossed his arms.

"Looks like my work here is done." With that, he turned to walk away, but noticed the bowl of batter for the second batch was still sitting on the counter. "Well, I guess my work isn't all done," he laughed. Twilight took a few more bites of her pancake before looking up at Timid.

"So what are your plans for today?" she asked. The pegasus swallowed his mouthful of pancake.

"Well, I don't know. Maybe I should go see Octavia some time today, but it might not be the best idea," he said, taking more bites. Twilight looked sorrowfully at him.

"Well, I'm no expert on this kind of stuff, but if you ask me, it sounds like a lot happened last night. From a few books I've read, the outcome is usually better if you let things settle down before you confront them again." She could see he was really bothered by this. It wasn't any of her business about what had happened, but she could at least try to help him. "How about you take the day off? Maybe recuperate a little," she offered with a soft smile. He looked up at her and returned the gesture.

"Yeah. That... that sounds nice. I'll try to relax for the day," he sighed.


The two had finished their pancakes and were greeted by another batch from the dragon, which didn't last for very long now that Spike had the chance to eat some, as well. Timid got up and stretched, feeling so full that he didn't want to do anything, but a voice cried out to him, telling him that he should go and talk to Steam. It was better than any of the ideas he had, so he made that to be his plan for the day.

"Thanks for the food, Spike," he said to the dragon, who returned the gesture with a thumbs up. He then turned to the unicorn. "Twilight, you're a good friend. I'm going to go check up on Steam to see how he's making out after last night. I will see you both tonight." With that, he turned around and walked out.

"Bye!" the two called out. Twilight sighed as she looked at the front door, even after Timid had left.

"I hope he's okay," she mumbled.

"Huh?" Spike questioned, but Twilight just shook her head.

"Nothing," she sighed, then smiled. "How about I help you with the dishes?" she offered. The young dragon nodded and walked over to the sink, Twilight in suit.

"Oh, and Spike," she said, catching his attention. "Please don't lick the leftovers off the plates this time." He blushed heavily and let out a nervous laugh.

"You saw me do that last night, huh?" She nodded and laughed. "Won't happen again, heheh." he said, and the two began cleaning the plates and silverware.


It was just before noon as the green pegasus rounded the corner of one of the shops to see Sugar Cube Corner. As he approached, he could smell the aroma of baked goods: muffins, cakes, brownies, cookies... it was almost intoxicating. He pushed the dual swinging doors aside as he entered the bakery and was greeted by the sight of Mr. and Mrs. Cake working—moving from behind the counter to the kitchen and back. Mrs. Cake noticed the visitor and smiled brightly.

"Oh, hello there, dear. What can I help ya with?"

"I was looking for Steam. Is he still here or did he go somewhere?" Mrs. Cake shook her head.

"No, he's still here. He's right upstairs if you want to go see him. It's the second door on the left."

Giving a nod, Timid followed her directions and walked to the doorway of Steam's room. Poking his head in, he saw a bed with a body under the covers. Walking over to it, he nudged the large mass with his hoof, only earning him a mumble. He poked again, this time resulting in the red unicorn rolling over, pulling the covers over his head more. With a sigh, the pegasus shook the indifferent stallion violently. The stallion ripped the covers off his face with a swift motion and glared angrily at the intruder.

"What?" he said bluntly. His eyes were bloodshot from sleep and his mane was a mess, but you could tell he was irritated. Just then, a mass from under the blankets moved and crawled out, showing it to be Dee-Jay. The cat rubbed against his owner's face and laid down on the pillow next to him. Steam leaned his head and rested it on the feline's back, using him as a furry pillow. "Well, are you going to say something or what?"

"I've got to talk to you about something," the pegasus said quietly. Steam arched an eyebrow.

"Well, go on. What's up?" His friend let out a long sigh.

"You know how I wasn't at the party last night, right?" he questioned, seeming hesitant.

"Yeah, I noticed. Octavia wasn't there, either. Were you two together?" he asked him; the green pegasus nodded silently in answer.

"And Pinkie said that you were having dinner with somepony; I'm guessing it was with Octavia, as well?" Another nod, looking down at the floor this time. Steam rolled his eyes.

"Well then why the long face? You had dinner with the mare you like. Good job!" he congratulated, patting his friend on the back. He didn't look up from the ground.

"Yeah, but that's not all that happened," he muttered. Steam stopped smiling and sat up, moving next to the stallion.

"What happened, man?" he asked him, putting his foreleg around him.

"Well, Octavia last night, she, uh... drank a bit too much wine, and she... uh... she gave me a-" he stopped and cleared his throat from nervousness. " A bl–..." he said, almost whispering. Steam moved closer.

"Huh?" he asked, moving his ear to a better angle (which was a handy new feature of being a pony: the ability to move your ears and rotate them [but I digress] ). Timid let out a sigh.

"I said that she gave me–..." he uttered. The red unicorn almost laughed at how much his friend reminded him of Fluttershy, but he held it back.

"One more ti–"

"She gave me a blow job!" he shouted at the top of his lungs, "blow job" echoing through out the building and possibly into the streets outside. It was one of those perfect moments where there should have been a car alarm going off outside or a flock of birds scattered from the commotion, but only awkward silence developed. The two sat on the bed, one looking at the ground, the other looking at the troubled friend with brow raised.

"So... what's the problem?" Steam asked, filling the quietness.

"Don't you get it?!" Timid exclaimed, now angry at his friend.

"Yeah, I get it. You got a blow job from the mare you like. So what? If anything, I'd pat ya on the back and say 'good job', but the look you're giving me right now says that doing that wouldn't be a good idea." The look the red stallion was receiving was a look that said, "what the hell is wrong with you?"

"Steam, she gave me a blow job because she was drunk. She didn't really mean it; it was the alcohol talking," he sighed, his head hanging back down again. Steam rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, but alcohol makes it more difficult to hide your emotions. If anything, she likes you and the alcohol just let her get it out."

"That doesn't make any sense! People make stupid decisions when they're drunk and that's what happened last night. She probably woke up this morning and thought, 'Oh sweet Celestia, I gave some colt I don't even know, let alone like, a blow job. What was I thinking?!'!" he shouted, growing more distressed by the second.

"Look, arguing isn't going to solve anything, and me trying to be nice and comfort you obviously isn't working either, so I guess I'll have to be blunt," Steam said, looking Timid in the eye. "Shit happens. Deal with it. I don't want to listen to you complain about something you shouldn't be freaking out over. Buck up and be happy with the fact that the girl you like got you off." His tone was cold and bitter, but he wasn't going to try and help when his friend was being difficult. Timid gave a huff and got up off the bed.

"Some friend you are," he said, walking towards the door.

"Don't even try to pull that shit with me, Timid. I tried being nice and you didn't want any of it, so I'm not doing that. Be mad, I don't care. I'm not being nice for my sake."

"If I had fingers, I'd flip you off right now," he said, walking out the door.

"Go suck one," Steam called back, flopping onto his back, angrily. He closed his eyes, Dee-Jay walking over and stepping up onto his chest, laying down and stretching his forearms out. The unicorn looked down at his pet and sighed.

"I'm surprised he's made it this far in life with an attitude like that."


Octavia stepped out of her shower and grabbed a towel. The room was full of steam and her mirror had a thick layer of condensation over it. She took the towel and wiped off most of the mirror and then began drying her mane. It was about twelve thirty, now. She had woken up this morning feeling very groggy; her memory of last night seemed like everything was in a fog. She only could recall a few things: her conversations with Timid; the dinner; the wine; but after that, everything seemed to cut out.

"Perhaps too much wine," she thought. She was awfully nervous last night, having dinner with somepony she actually took interest in, so a little wine to calm the nerves sounds like something she'd do. She always was the serious type of pony, so she didn't normally flirt with other colts at social gatherings, which meant having dinner alone with Timid was most certainly a new experience for her.

After brushing her mane and teeth, she left the bathroom and made her way down to the kitchen. The table was still set from last night and had leftover dinner still on it.

"Odd..." she said in a curious tone. "Why would I not have cleaned the table?" The gray mare tried thinking again, but again, her memory failed her. She picked up the glasses and placed them in the sink, and then grabbed the plates. Walking to the garbage, she opened the lid with her hoof and went to scrape the remains of last night's meal into it, when she saw the broken glass shards of the wine bottle lying there atop of the rest of the trash.

The sound of the bottle shattering against the wall filled her ears as her memory came rushing back to her: the wine; Timid; sensual thoughts; devious lusts; sexual acts. She began to cry as every little detail entered her mind: the sight; the feeling; his taste. Then the sight of Timid as he ran out the door and down the street, a slight tear in his eye.

When she opened her eyes, she was sobbing and kneeling on the floor. The plates of food were lying next to her, luckily unbroken and without too much of a mess made, but she didn't care, even if they did break or make a mess. Her life could now possibly be ruined. Not only did she drive away Timid, but if he decided to tell anyone, her entire career would be down the drain. It would get leaked to the press and destroy her social image.

She let out a breath, going to wipe her eyes of her tears, but as she moved her hooves, she realized where they were. They were cupped around her marehood, one rubbing it slightly. She could not believe it. She was just starting to become moist, a little secretion on her hoof showing as she brought it to her face.

The mare wasn't sure what she was feeling. Her emotions were through the roof, to the point where she just couldn't express them. She sat there and looked at her hoof, not crying or gritting her teeth. She was just thinking. Thinking of last night with Timid on the couch and her in the same position as she was now. Her tongue moved in her mouth as the memory was playing like a movie inside her head. Then she looked up, realizing she had enjoyed last night. She enjoyed ruining her one shot with Timid and possibly her career.

She wanted to scream because so many emotions were now circling through her head, all feeling like they were calling out to her to pick which one to be, but she could not decided.

She got up off the ground and began walking to the door, leaving the plates as they were. She opened the door, closing it behind her, and began to cross the street, first at a walk, but her pace quickened. She made her way to a lope, then to a full on gallop until she crossed and was met with Vinyl's door. She opened it and burst in, running down the hall and into her best friend's room. Leaping into the air, Octavia landed on the bed, waking up a drowsy Vinyl, and began to sob uncontrollably. Vinyl sat up in bed with wide eyes and looked at her friend, laying before her and crying into her covers. She had a great look of bewilderment on her face.

"Uh... hey 'Tavi," was all the befuddled DJ said before getting up to comfort her friend."And I just couldn't handle my thoughts and what I should do, so I broke down and came here," the cellist pony explained, still sniffing every so often, her eyes red and sore from crying. Meanwhile, Vinyl sat next to her with a hoof on the earth pony's back, rubbing her in an effort to calm and comfort the troubled mare.


"So, let me get this straight: you had Timid over for dinner last night and things were going great. You drank some wine to relax a bit and you ended up downing an entire glass in about ten seconds flat, and then gave the guy a blow job?" she summarized, looking to Octavia to see if she missed anything.

"Yes, that's it."

"Well, you want to know what I think about all this?" she asked the gray mare. In return, her friend leaned closer as she waited for an answer.

"I think it's nothing to worry about," she finally came off with, giving Octavia a pat or two on the back and then laid back down on her bed. Octavia gave a look of bewilderment to the DJ, who was laying with her hooves under her head, eyes closed and a smile on her face like she solved the whole problem.

"You're kidding, surely!" she protested. "How is any of this 'nothing to worry about'?!" she hissed to herself.

"Nope. I don't see the big deal, honestly. So you gave the pony you like a BJ. Sounds like a good night to me!" Vinyl responded curtly. The cellist just looked at her friend with a disgusted expression.

"Vinyl, do you even understand what's at stake here?! My entire career could be ended by something I did while I was under the influence! I can't lose this! Playing cello is my entire life!"

"'Tavi, calm down! Everything will be fine! So you blew some stallion after some wine. Big deal! It's not like the sound of your sex life affects how your music sounds." Vinyl responded, trying to sound a bit philosophical so Octavia would be more attuned to listen to her, but it did not come out as well as she thought it would.

"Vinyl, just because it's okay for you to do such things in your profession doesn't mean it's okay to do them in mine!" Octavia spit. The DJ's eyes shot open.

"Whoa whoa whoa. Are you trying to say that you playing your giant fiddle is of higher standards than my works of technological art?" she asked, trying to laugh as she spoke to mask what Octavia had just said about her job.

"If by 'works of technological art', you mean 'piles of garbage rammed through a bullhorn', then yes!" she shouted, standing up off the bed as she did. Vinyl jumped onto the floor in front of Octavia, screaming in her face.

"YOU TAKE THAT BACK, YOU COCK-SUCKING BITCH!"

"HOW ABOUT YOU GO SHOVE TEN DICKS IN YOUR MOUTH, BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT YOU DO...! BITCH!" she screamed back, trying her best at insults, but failing miserably.

"OH, BRING IT ON!"

With that, Octavia pounced on Vinyl, knocking them onto the bed. They rolled around on it, throwing the occasional punch, which none ever landed.

"What is going on here?!" a voice proclaimed, coming from the doorway of the room. At that point, both mares were enveloped by a lime green aura and pulled apart, then were sat down on opposite sides of the room. The owner of the spell gasped for air after the two were seated, not used to moving anything larger than a bag of flour.

"Okay, will somepony PLEASE tell me what's going on here?!" Steam asked, looking from mare to mare. Before he could even blink, both of them started yelling, trying to explain what happened from their own point of view. The unicorn cast another spell, this time holding their mouths shut, earning him exactly the same thing, only muffled.

"Okay, that's a bit better. Now would both of you like to STOP ACTING LIKE FOALS AND EXPLAIN WHAT'S GOING ON?!" The two stopped and looked at him, then back at each other with looks that said, "Geez, what's his problem?" He released his grip from their muzzles, then Vinyl began to talk.

"Well, I was sleeping in my bed this morning when I hear the door burst open and Octavia comes running into my room, jumping onto my bed, sobbing," she explained. "All because last night, her and Timi-"

"Vinyl! Don't tell him about that!" the earth pony cried.

"It's fine, Octavia. I already know," Steam said, earning a half-surprised, half-horrified expression from her.

"Wha— but how?!" she asked, shocked.

"Timid came into my room this morning, much to how you did to Vinyl, by the sounds of it, and told me about last night. He's not exactly happy with how I responded to the news, though," he said, sounding a bit upset, but remained steadfast.

"Why? What did you say?" Vinyl asked, now curious as to what he could have said to upset his friend.

"Ah ah ah! You still need to answer my question," he responded. This time, Octavia picked up where Vinyl left off.

"Well, I told Vinyl about what happened and how it could ruin my career. She didn't see the big deal, but then-"

"And then she said her music was better than mine!" Vinyl cut in, complaining slightly.

"I didn't say that; I said that maybe what I did last night was okay to do in her profession, but not mine," Octavia responded, trying to get the facts straight.

"Oh, bull, Octavia! We both know what you meant by that! It's that stupid cello! It makes you think you're better than everypony else!" The DJ shouted, pointing a hoof at her friend.

"It's because you don't think about these things, Vinyl! Try to put yourself in my hooves and think of how this could affect me! If maybe you didn't listen to that brain-rotting slop you call music, then you could realize how big of a deal this is!

"'Brain-rotting slop'?! Oh, I'm gonna beat your fancy ass!"

"Like you could do anything!"

With that, the two were back up and had jumped at each other, only to be grabbed again by Steam before they collided. He shook his head and sighed; the two musicians being set down at opposite ends of the room, once again.

"You two are ridiculous. Octavia, you have nothing to worry about. Timid wouldn't tell anyone about what happened last night. Hell, he was reluctant to even tell me!" Steam said, calming the mare down some. "I'd be more concerned about what he thinks of you now, or more like what you think of him. " Octavia gave him a puzzled expression.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Well, he thinks that you don't actually like him because he's convinced that it was the alcohol talking. Well, more like acting, but you know what I mean," Steam explained.

"What?! No! I mean, I wouldn't normally act as I did last night, but I do genuinely like him." Now that the worry of her reputation becoming ruined and her job being lost was gone, she was concerned about Timid. The poor guy must be tearing himself apart over last night!

"Wait. You said that he didn't like what you had to say. What happened between you two?" Vinyl asked, bringing up her question from earlier.

"Oh, all I said was that alcohol takes away the ability for somepony to hide their emotions, so what Octavia did last night was out of how she really felt. Well, maybe not to that extent, but she still showed that she liked him," he said. "So I was right about the whole situation, basically." he added, pointing out the OBVIOUSLY most important part of all this.

"Where is he now? I have got to clear things up with him while I still can!" Octavia said, standing up. Steam shrugged.

"I don't know. Last I saw him, he stormed out of my room. I'm sure he's around somewhere."

"Well, where does he live?" Vinyl offered.

"In the Golden Oaks Library with Twilight Sparkle and Spike. I guess that's as good a place as any to start looking," Steam responded. "But it's almost all the way across town, so you're gonna have-"

Before he could finish, Octavia ran past him, down the hall, and back out the door.

"Well, she's not one to waste time, is she?" Steam joked.

"Yeah, she's pretty punctual," Vinyl chuckled. "Say, how are you even here? Shouldn't you be at Sugar Cube Corner?"

"No, not until tomorrow to help with a big order, but until then I'm free," he replied.

"Yeah, I know. Pinkie Pie told me about it the other day. Steam, what day do you think it is?" the DJ asked.

"It's Saturday, isn't it?" he asked more than spoke, unsure now.

"Yeah, if today were yesterday. It's Sunday." The red unicorn's eyes widened.

"I'll have to talk to you later, Vinyl! See ya, bye!" he spat out, racing down the hall and out of the house to get back to the baked goods shop. Vinyl was left to sit where she was left after being put there by her coltfriend, moving her gaze over to see Dee-Jay on her bed.

"Is he always this forgetful?" she asked. The cat gave a slight nod. Even though he had not known Steam for very long, he quickly found out that he was not one for remembering things. Shrugging her shoulders, she got back into her bed and pulled the cat up to her, snuggling with him until the two soon fell asleep.


"What does he know, anyway? It's not like he's an alcohol expert," the green pegasus muttered, walking down one of the many roads in Ponyville. A number of ponies were on the street: walking from store to store; talking to each other; travelling to different venders on the side of road; it was another ordinary day in Ponyville. As Timid travelled, he passed a particular fruit stand that sold, probably, the best of its kind in all of Equestria, run by the most honest and southern pony in Ponyville.

"Howdy, Partner!" she called to him as he passed. "You look like yer in a tad bit of a bad mood. Anything Ah c'n do to help lighten yer mood?"

It took him a second to realize that the apple farmer was talking to him. He turned towards her, giving a sigh.

"Probably not. I'm just having a bad-" he started to say, but stopped as he realized who he was talking to. A pair of green eyes met his yellow ones as Timid and Applejack came face to face. She had been sitting there at her family's apple stand selling produce for the day. Her family took turns operating it, even though it was only open three days out of the seven in a week.

"A bad day, huh? Well, how's about ya take an apple, on the house!" she beamed, then looked at the structure. "Er- well, on the cart, heheh!" She grabbed an apple and tossed it to him, the pegasus catching it in his mouth. He took a bite and the sweet juice filled his mouth.

"Mmh! Thanks!" he said, still full from breakfast, but the fruit was a fine addition.

"Not a problem! So what seems to be ailin' ya?" she questioned.

"Well, I can't really go into the details, but I had dinner last night with a friend and they had too much to drink." She pondered the thought before responding.

"Ah c'n understand that bein' drunk c'n be annoyin', but nothin' to have a bad day over." Timid gave a sigh. If only she knew the rest of it.

"Let's just say that they did something that we both regret. Then, when I go to my other friend for comfort, he doesn't see the big deal," he said, sullenly. The farmer's eyes widened and she made an "O" with her mouth, coming to understanding.

"Ah, well Ah'm sorry to hear that. Ah sure hope things work out fer ya," she said, giving a genuine look of sorrow. "By the way, what's yer name, stranger? Ah've never seen ya around here before." she asked, looking the strange stallion up and down. She didn't say it aloud, but he definitely looked... different than the other ponies in Ponyville, or anywhere, for that matter.

"Oh, I'm Timid Rhythm. I just moved here." he responded. The mare gave him a friendly smile, reaching out a hoof.

"Well it's a pleasure to meet ya, Timid! Mah name's Applejack. Me an' mah family own the local apple farm here, Sweet Apple Acres," she explained. He grabbed her hoof and shook it, her strong grip taking him by surprise (which he still did not understand how ponies could grip things with their lack of hands. Perhaps it was more like a wrist movement?) It wasn't painful, but definitely demonstrated her pure "horsepower".

"Oh, I've heard of you! You guys grow some good apples," he said, playing it dumb. "You actually might know my friend, Steam Funk."

"Oh yeah! Ah met him first day he was in town! He's real good friends with Pinkie Pie, right?" she asked. "Even stays there with her."

"Yup, that's him!" Timid exclaimed.

"Now is he the one that was drunk or the one who you went to comfort for?" AJ questioned, bringing up the topic from earlier. The smile vanished from Timid's face as he remembered the events before this.

"He's the one who I went to. You probably don't know the other one." he explained.

"Ah, yeah, didn't really take him for a drinker, but go ahead an' try me. Ah might know 'em!" she insisted. Timid doubted that she would know the cellist, but figured anything was possible.

"Well, her name is Octavia." he said; Applejack's eyes lit up at the name.

"Cousin 'Tavia?! Why of course Ah know her! She's Fiddlesticks' sister!" she exclaimed. "Granted, she doesn't usually attend the family reunions, but she's family sure enough." Timid was beyond surprised, his mouth hanging open slightly.

"Seriously?! The sophisticated and proper Octavia is cousins with the rough-and-tumble, country-girl Applejack?" he questioned, eyes as wide as they could be. "Well, no offense."

"None taken! But yer right, 'Tavia decided to follow her parents' way of life and be all fancy, but Fiddlesticks decided to be more like her family roots and adopt the country way of life," Applejack explained. The stallion was surprised by all of this.

"How come she never told me any of this?" he asked himself, eyes moving back and forth as he tried to think of a reason.

"Well, she don't normally like to talk about it," Applejack chimed in, Timid realizing that he had asked that aloud, but she continued. "Don't get me wrong, she loves her family more than anythin', but she tries to keep a fancy look about her for her job. Fiddlesticks understands this more than anypony in her family, since she plays the fiddle and seemin' fancy won't get her too far in her profession."

"Ah, that makes a lot of sense. Thanks for telling me this stuff. I'll have to keep that in mind next time I talk to her!" A sudden pang of hurt hit him as he spoke that last sentence. "Well, if I ever DO see her again," he thought, making sure not to say that one aloud.

"But there's just one thing Ah can't get past," AJ said aloud, snapping Timid out of his train of thought. "Ya said that one friend got drunk and the other didn't offer ya any comfort. Steam didn't get drunk, so you're saying that 'Tavia got drunk?" she asked, looking him in the eye.

"Well, yes, but it was from wine. She just didn't know how fast she was drinking it until it was too late." The pegasus explained. Applejack nodded, asking another question.

"So then what did mah cousin do that upset you so?" Timid stiffened up and his heart beat a little faster.

"Um, heheh, well you see... I can't really tell you," he softly said, a little blush showing on his cheeks.

"Ah, you can share it with me! If it's mah cousin yer talkin' 'bout, then Ah've most likely heard it before," she said, attempting to reassure him. Timid eased up a bit.

"Really?" he asked.

"Of course! In fact, Ah'm sure Ah've either heard or seen her do worse things than what she did to you!" Timid was thinking about telling the apple pony, but he knew Octavia would not appreciate it.

"How she's family," he debated in his head. "So? That doesn't mean that they can know every little secret about her!" the other side argued. The two sides went back and forth, deciding whether he should tell the farmer or not. Meanwhile, Timid was receiving a confused stare from the orange mare in front of him as she waited for him to move from his trance, which he had been in for almost a full minute now. Her gaze caught his eye and he looked up, giving an embarrassed chuckle.

"Heh, sorry. I was just... thinking. But I don't think I should tell you," he responded. Applejack gave him an understanding nod.

"Ah get ya. It's not like I'm forcin' ya to tell m-" The mare was interrupted by Timid cracking under the "pressure" of Applejack's "interrogation" and began to blurt out everything that had happened.

"Okay, I give!" he cried, taking a deep breath. "You see, we had dinner last night and she had gotten out a bottle of this really expensive wine, so she drank some of it and she got caught up in her stories, so she downed her glass in about a minute and had more, then she kissed me and took me to her couch and then gave me a blow job." The words flew out of his mouth like bullets, traveling a mile a minute. Applejack's eye twitched, a blank expression on her face.

"Uh... c'n ya repeat that one more time?" she asked, not fully sure if she wanted to hear that again.

"Okay... so we had dinner last night and she had gotten out a bottle of this really expensive wine, so she drank some of it and she got caught up in her stories, so she downed her glass in about a minute and had more, then she kissed me and took me to her couch and then gave me a blow job," he spat out.

"Yeah, that's what Ah thought ya said," she replied. "Well, Ah can definitely say that Ah've never heard that one before."

"So... has she ever done anything worse than this before?" Timid asked, slightly nervous. The farmer pony just looked at him and gave a weak smile.

"Um, well... how's about ya just keep that little story to yerself," she suggested. Timid frowned.

"She hasn't. Got it. Just please promise me you won't tell anypony about this! After what you told me about her, this could ruin her career!" he exclaimed.

"Don't worry, Ah'd never do that. Even though Ah'm the element of honesty, Ah can keep a secr-"

"Oh sweet Celestia! How could I be so stupid! She must be freaking out about me telling somepony about this! I've got to go see her!" Timid cried, turning and running. "Bye, Applejack! Thank you so much!" he called back as he took off.

"Uh, yeah! No problem!" She shook her head at him and chuckled. "Oh boy, 'Tavia, ya've got yer work cut out fer ya with this one."


The gray pony ran down the street, thoughts flying through her mind.

"This is horrible! How could I be so cruel?! That poor colt; he probably hates me now," she cried out in her head, racing past the ponies that were out. "Now if I remember correctly, the library should be just around this corNER- UFF!" she exclaimed, running into another pony that was coming around the corner. She fell to the ground, landing on her rear with another "oof!" Octavia immediately took the blame.

"I'm sooo sorry! I wasn't looking where I was going! Are you okay?" she responded, worried about the pony she had knocked to the ground. The two began to stand up, not facing each other just yet.

"Oh no, I'm fine. I was just trying to find somepony," he responded.

"Oh, well I am, too. You may not know him, but do you happen to know where Timid Rhythm is?" she asked, and was surprised by the pony before her.

"Well, I guess we're looking for the same pony, then," he laughed, making eye contact with the mare. He was a light brown earth pony with a spiky, darker brown mane and tail, cut relatively short.

"Really? Why are you looking for him, Mr...?" she said, remembering seeing this pony around town a few times, but she had never spoken to him.

"Time Turner. And I'm trying to find him, because there's something wrong back on the TARDIS that he should be very concerned with.


Leave a review to help me improve! (Constructive criticism, not a bunch of illegible shit. I'm looking at you, Guest.)


My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and all characters in this story are ©2010-present by Hasbro, Inc. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic original story and concept were created by Lauren Faust. The author of this story makes no claim of ownership of any characters, locations, or other material derived from copyrighted material. This story is not to be used for commercial gain under any circumstances without permission from the legal copyright holders of all applicable material.

Steam Funk is my OC and is owned by me.

Yes, I did use a line from the song "My Roommate is a 'Bassist'" by YourEnigma because I love that song and I figured "Why not?" so I put it in there.