Dang, I'm on my 12th chapter. Getting much closer to the chapter I particularly want to write, which will be chapter 15. X3 Let's just say... shipping. *runs* Anyways, this chapter yes yes. Ryou continues chatting to Shizuka and like I said in the last chapter's notes, there'll be backstory! Wooooo~
So onto the chapter, eh?
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Chapter Twelve: Ryou and Bakura
"And..." Ryou's voice calmed down after his declaration. Shizuka was stunned. She had no idea that things were like this. When people saw Ryou interact with Bakura, they saw no tension. In fact, they simply behaved like normal brothers. Everyone knew they were opposites of each other but they never clashed. "And... it was something that nobody knew. I always felt inferior to him and it's so unfair. There's a trend that I want to break – no, I have to break it somehow."
"Is that trend..." Shizuka decided to take a guess. "...you always feeling like your brother is ahead of you?"
Ryou wondered for a split second if Shizuka could relate to him, also being a younger sibling of a more extroverted go-getter type. He brushed off those thoughts quickly. The white-haired boy nodded. "You know how we have powers with Bakura being the mind reader and me being... the telepathy user... Well, we got those powers from a man who wanted us to keep an eye on Marik – well, it's his mind that Bakura can read. Marik, Bakura and I are friends but... I feel like Bakura's much closer to him. Closer than Marik and I could ever be."
You see... Ryou continued, not wanting to say everything out loud. After all, there were still things he didn't feel comfortable with saying. Also, he was afraid of being too loud and having someone hear him. And these next words, he felt like he didn't have a right to say them. Bakura and I both like Marik. I think Bakura has a better understanding of him because he knows what's on Marik's mind. I wish I had that kind of power. Sometimes I think that nobody else should be allowed to peek into Marik's mind except me. But then I feel as if what I thought was the worst!
"Has... Has... Has Bakura-san ever told you what Ishtar-kun thinks of you?" Shizuka asked. She wasn't entirely sure on how to respond to Ryou's venting of sorts. Even though he obviously felt he could trust her and she did feel like they got along great, she still didn't know him well enough to know what exact words could cheer him up. Still, she had to try. "Ishtar-kun and Bakura-san do seem to spend a lot of time together but if Ishtar-kun's ever thought about Bakura-san that way, then Bakura-san would've made his move but..."
"He hasn't made his move," Ryou replied. "But he told me to hurry up and confess. I don't really want to confess with the way things are. It's not fair though. I want everything to just be right between Bakura and me but it also feels like I'm being driven into a corner..."
"Perhaps Bakura-san intends to drive you into that corner..." the reddish-brown haired girl mused. It was possible. Bakura would know how Marik actually feels about Ryou. Maybe he thinks that the only way for Ryou to let go is to be rejected firsthand by Marik. "It's incredibly harsh of him to do so if that's his intention anyway. But older brothers can have complicated ways of thinking. My brother liked Mai-sensei and he couldn't take it when their distance grew bigger and when she shows up out of the blue, he tries to confess in the hopes that love can close the gap. I don't really understand how he can have the guts to just try something like that but he does. He doesn't always know what effect it'll have on the other party and things aren't always going right for him but... I wish I had more courage. More courage to get what I want instead of always being on the sidelines, watching others succeed. I love my brother and he gives me the strength I need to keep going but I don't want to be in his shadow either. Someday I have to step out on my own and rely on myself. I want to be strong enough to do that. Not as Katsuya-nii-chan's younger sister but as Shizuka Kawai."
Shizuka stopped herself, astonished at how much she'd said. Never had she talked so much! She was always quite a quiet, soft-spoken girl. What brought her to saying so much? Ryou trusted her but maybe... maybe she had a similar level of trust in him too.
It was easy though. Ryou was someone who could listen. Listen, understand and never judge you. Shizuka felt she could be certain of one thing: that Ryou was an incredibly good friend to Marik. While she'd never seen the two interact that much, she remembered how since meeting more of her brother's friends, he'd been speaking to her more about them.
Jounouchi mentioned how Marik used to just stick to hanging out with Bakura, labelling them as partners in crime. But Ryou was always nice towards Marik and helped him work his way into making more friends and getting to know the others. Shizuka was surprised when Jounouchi pointed out something that she felt most people wouldn't even notice: Ryou used to always call Marik 'Marik-san' but since becoming closer friends with him, he switched to 'Marik'; losing the formality and being more casual, more friend-like.
Ryou smiled at her but he felt tears welling up in his eyes. Someone understood. She didn't need to offer words of advice, just the fact she clearly understood was enough. No, it was a miracle.
"I'm sorry that I'm so... selfish with my thinking... I... feel like I may lose to Bakura but... to know that there is someone who will understand the pain when that time comes, that brings me a sense of relief..." Ryou mumbled, trying to shake off the sadness in his voice. He wanted her to believe that he was going to be okay. Even if he wasn't okay now, Ryou felt like he will be.
"Um... Ishtar-kun is a very lucky person, isn't he? Even if he doesn't realise your feelings or Bakura-san's feelings then... Even so, he's lucky to have the both of you!" Ryou couldn't help but agree with Shizuka's words. "So promise me that... even if Ishtar-kun were to end up with someone else, please remain good friends with him. I won't tell others what you've told me either."
"Of course I promise," Ryou answered with a grin. "And thanks. Um, thank you very much. I don't think words can explain what more I want to say. But I think you know what I mean. Also, I wish you luck with finding your own strength."
Shizuka nodded and watched as he got up and ran down the closest staircase. She knew that no more words were needed.
Bakura's POV
I must be out of my mind. Seriously sick in the head. On some kind of bad crack.
But I can't help but feel so infuriated. There was no way I could stay at school with that kind of attitude. I talked back to Yami - even though I dislike him, I usually listen to his reasoning. Also, Seto hit a bull's-eye with me for once. I can't stand that. He didn't have to be too direct. The damn thing is that he knows. Yami probably knows now. It went from no one knowing to everyone knowing.
Well, everyone as in all the people that are significant enough. There aren't many. Still, they all know.
Anyway yes, I climbed over the school gate and did a runner. No teachers saw me or they didn't realise quick enough. Don't care if I get in trouble later on. I needed to find some kind of sanctuary. I needed to be at home again.
So how come I'm taking this path? This road will eventually lead me to Marik's house. How can I go there? I should've just left seeing him to when he's stopped being ill and got his one hell of an ass out of bed. Somebody hit me, now.
Also, I yelled at Ryou. I can't believe I actually did that. I'm completely losing the plot here and over something so stupid! What I feel for Marik is just a mere attraction, right? A crush, I guess. That's what it is. Even if in reality, I've been interested for a long time but... I don't think it's developed into anything past that. How can it, when I'm constantly reminded of how Marik barely has me on his mind nowadays, let alone plonking me and romance within the same thought?
In a way, I don't regret some of my words. Ryou needs to step up to the plate. He knows that if he wants something, he has to get it and he is the one that has to do the work in order to get it. If he confesses to Marik in the end, I hope it wasn't solely because I told him to. He has to confess for himself, not for me.
I think I've always been aware somewhat of Ryou's feelings. He just lets me take charge and do whatever. I'm so selfish and he's so selfless. If only we knew when to be selfish and when to be selfless.
Ah... here I am. Marik's house. I looked at the driveway and saw that Ishizu was out – probably at work. Guess she can't always take time off even when Marik's feeling unwell. I suppose with how she makes the living to support the both of them, she has to keep going. Marik could probably take care of himself anyway.
Okay, here goes. I knocked my fist against the door a couple of times then waited. His footsteps were heard as he ambled his way to the front door. I could hear his thoughts: Bloody hell, if it's that damn guy again, I'll punch him in the face because I don't care about his stupid company's offer! Oh, he's already had an encounter with door-to-door salesmen. I dislike those too, but they don't tend to occupy my neighbourhood much because the servants always answer and tell them to shove off, basically.
He opened the door and glowered at me. There were bags under his eyes, possibly from lack of sleep. A wet flannel was on the top of his head and he was wearing nothing but a dressing gown and boxers. I think this is the most unattractive version of Marik I've ever seen. Actually, lose the tired, glaring eyes and the flannel and I'd have thought that it was kind of hot.
Marik stared at me for a second because slamming the door again. I listened to his thoughts and realised that he wasn't awake yet. Oh shit, I just slammed the door on Bakura! No shit, Sherlock. He swung the door wide open again, almost whacking it into me. "Wh-Wh-What are you doing here?" he asked, before putting a dressing gown sleeve to his face and sneezing on it.
I raised an eyebrow. "Gee, aren't you at your prettiest? Loving the spider-print boxers," I muttered with a sarcastic tone, walking straight into the house before he could protest.
"W-Wait, I never said you could come in here! I'm si – ACHOO!" he sneezed once more and dashed over to the tissue box. I saw that the lounge was his place of choice for the day. There were blankets and pillows all over the couch, boxes of tissues and empty bowls – though one was still half-full with potato crisps, and the television was playing some stupid sitcom.
"Bloody hell, Marik! If you're sick, you should be in bed! Not on the couch, watching TV and binging on junk food!"
"Staying in bed gets boring! I never said you could come in here, anyway! Get out!" he ordered, though I could hear him thinking that chances were, no matter what he said, I wouldn't leave. I smirked at this. He noticed and admitted defeat. I flopped onto an available armchair and pulled the bowl of chips towards me. "Those are my chips," he grumbled, snatching the bowl back and sitting back on his couch, wrapping himself in a blanket to keep warm. "So why are you here?"
"Got sick of school."
"Why?"
"Because."
"Bec – ACHOO!"
"Did you just say Pikachu? Hey, wonder if Pokémon's on TV..." I grabbed the remote and flicked the channel over. I sighed when I saw that it was some other anime on instead. Didn't recognise it – wasn't that knowledgeable on most anime. Maybe Yugi would know considering Marik had that thought ramble over how Yugi had found this new anime he liked and has been trying to get Yami into – something like Hetalia but from what I've heard about it, it seems more like Yaoitalia.
"What are you doing? Ooh, is that K-ON?" I switched the TV off and his jaw dropped. "What the hell do you think you're doing? You – wait a moment!" He paused, sneezed again and then continued with telling me off. "I wanted to see that – some of our classmates were telling me about it the other week and I was thinking about watching it to see if Mio is as hot as some guy said she is!"
I forget Marik's bisexuality – he's often raving on about guys but I don't really hear him mention an interest in girls. But considering he's referring to anime girls here, I guess it ain't much of a deal. I sighed and switched the TV back on. We ended up watching the program and I fell asleep quickly because I have a lack of interest for anime that's basically all cute girls.
When I woke up, Marik had disappeared. The TV was turned off and all his food bowls and used tissues and everything were cleared. I thought I'd be cold but he wrapped a blanket around me to keep me warm. Huh, touching gesture, I suppose.
Ah... He's probably gone to his room. Should I bother going up? I mean, it's not really right to just show up, sleep on the couch and leave again. Maybe I'll do something. Uh... Hm. I went to the kitchen and looked around. I'll make some food to take up to him. So, what the hell will I make? I honestly can't cook for shit. Maybe there'll be some heat-and-eat meals in the freezer... Ah, there is. Ooh, pizza. Vegetarian, but that could work.
So how the hell do I use the oven? I got the pizza out and put it inside but how the heck do I turn it on so the damn thing will start cooking?
You should take the pizza out of the box before shoving it inside the oven, you know. Holy shit! I could've leapt twenty feet in the air from that. Swivelling around immediately, I could see Marik standing at the kitchen doorway, eyeing me suspiciously. "What are you trying to do, eating my food anyway?"
"The only food I've eaten since arriving here was a few chips," I pointed out. He shrugged.
"Okay, fine. Why are you cooking that?"
I stuck my tongue out at him. "Because Marik Sicktar shouldn't have to cook his own meals. Doing you a favour here."
His cheeks blushed pink. "...Oh. Well... I'm not sure if Ishizu will want me to eat that..."
"Why not? She wants to hog the pizza all to herself?"
"That's not it!" he shook his head. "I'm sick; I shouldn't be eating junk food."
"The pizza's got vegetables; what about those chips you ate earlier too?"
"Ugh, fine. I'll help you cuz I get that feeling you're not very experienced with making food," he said, shuffling up beside me and taking the pizza box out of the oven and opening it up to reveal frozen veggie pizza. I prefer meat on my pizzas but eh, once cooked, this thing should taste decent enough. I asked him why he got that feeling and he grinned at me. "Ryou's always the one to make your lunches plus you always get the servants to suss it out when you need food and you're at home. I just figured from there that you didn't cook much."
I opened my mouth in an 'o' shape. "Oh. Gotcha." He placed the pizza on a cooking tray and carefully put it inside the oven. Then he shut the oven door and switched it on and set the temperature and timer. I looked at the box. "Ten minutes. So what now?" Marik dashed out of the room and returned with a pack of cards.
"Let's play a card game!" he suggested with a playful smile. "What card games do you know how to play?"
I let out a sigh. "Snap... Cheat... Uh... Snap."
"You don't know Solitaire, Hearts or Poker? Wow, you're more deprived than I thought."
"What, you know how to play then?"
"Ishizu taught me," he stated proudly.
"Teach me then so I won't be so deprived. Considering people do gambling with games like that so I may need to know in future."
"In that case, we're playing Snap. Don't want to have you losing in bets and running to me to borrow my cash," he replied with a cheeky grin.
I laughed at this comment. "Don't trust me in gambling?"
"Not one bit."
"It's okay; I'll steal cash if I get low on it."
"If you fail at that, I guess I'll let you borrow off me."
"Doubt you'll need to resort to that."
"That's why I was okay with saying it."
Marik often acts like he doesn't care for things yet he's very confused and curious about the world around him. He has a tendency to be one of the quieter people in conversation when around others but he talks plenty with me. People assume that Marik is quite serious and always noting how he's usually very snappy with me but they don't ever get to see moments like these.
Even if he's making friends with the people around him more and I'm in his thoughts less, I'm still the person he can be most at ease with. Maybe I don't have to come here with a reason. Ah, being in Marik's company is the best.
We started playing Cheat – we had a slight discussion and agreed to play that - and Marik decided he'd call Cheat as often as possible. Only I was clever enough to cheat when he least suspected it so that when he called Cheat, I would be innocent at the time. So it wasn't long before I won the game. Plus Marik forgot that I can read his mind so I always knew when he was cheating.
The timer went off and we ran to get the pizza out of the oven. We went back to playing Cheat as well as eating pizza. It tasted surprisingly good.
Oh yeah, I never got a proper answer from Bakura last time... I should ask. Oh god, he's going to ask me that question again. I suppose I can't walk out on him everytime he asks, he'll grow suspicious and get annoyed too. "Say... Bakura?"
"Yo?"
"I had a sudden thought."
"So I heard."
He nodded; his eyes averted to the ground. "Do you know what question I was thinking about?" I shrugged my shoulders, pretending to be oblivious. He glared at me. "You know, I'm certain you do. It's true that Ryou likes me, isn't it?"
"Of course he likes you," I muttered, "he likes all his friends." With that, I finished off the slice of pizza I was holding.
"I mean as in a crush and you know it!" he snapped, slamming down his huge handful of cards. "I've suspected it since the two of you visited and I think you've known all along!"
Ugh... I suppose I'll have to own up, won't I? Sorry Ryou, he'll know before you confess to him. Whatever, I haven't done a good job of being a supportive brother. I'm a horrible brother, damn it.
"Your suspicions are correct..." I admitted reluctantly. He groaned, running his fingers through his hair. He grabbed a tissue and sneezed. But he didn't need to say anything. His thoughts... were enough.
Great, just great. I didn't think I was someone that a person would ever come to like. I mean, like as more than a friend. But I don't know how to respond. I'm not capable of liking others as more than friends either. Ryou's just a friend. Purely a friend.
Maybe I'll just ignore those feelings. The way I see it, I can't really love anyone when I'm like this. I mean, I don't really know the people around me as well as they know me. Bakura could probably list millions of true facts and things about me while I could barely get past ten. When put on the spot anyway. Ryou too, I don't know him that well either.
"Then I'll tell you about us!" I blurted out, interrupting Marik. He blinked at me in surprise. I bit my lip for a couple of seconds and then proceeded to speak. "Are you sick of not knowing things about others and well... our motives?"
"Oh freaking hell, you have no idea how confused I've... Oh wait, you can read my mind..." he chuckled a bit to himself. "Oh god, that's probably why you kept winning at Cheat too! I'm such a... blonde sometimes!" I would've grinned at him if I was in any mood other than this. He saw my serious expression and matched it. "Oh... Okay. Tell me. Tell me anything you like."
And hope that I don't say too much.
I took a deep breath. Here goes...
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I think I've told you before, Marik. How it used to be a family of five. Things used to be happy. I used to have a proper life. But there was something I always knew that Ryou was never truly aware of. He was the favourite twin of the family. It's because I was more of a troublemaker and as Ryou wasn't, he was always showered with the positive attention from my mother. My father wasn't that great but he was the only one I could turn to.
Personally, I think I got on his nerves. Oka-san would always take Ryou with her on her girly shopping trips and so I never really got to know Ryou that well. I disliked their girly stuff and because I didn't ever receive the same warmth that my brother did, I continued to rebel even more. Oka-san wasn't sure why I didn't act like Ryou and she soon realised that she did pay Ryou more attention.
So she basically shifted me over to my father, who was working all the time. He had some big position in a company to take care of and the rare times he was at home and I'd ask if we could do something, he'd just brush me away so he could continue work at home.
Why was it like this, I wonder? How could one twin be so loved and the other feel so lonely? When I was at school, it was clear that I couldn't get along with others. I tried, but I didn't know how. So I decided to tough it out because concerning myself with lack of friends and distant relationships in the family just got to me.
I became a thief. I decided that if I wanted something, I would have it. I never got what I wanted when I asked for it after all. But I could never steal emotions. Even now, I'm sure it's impossible to do so.
When Amane was born, Ryou was overjoyed. I always thought around that time that it was a good thing because Ryou could finally have the sibling he wanted. He could be a big brother now. A better big brother than I ever will be.
In my final year of elementary, I began to notice something happening in my family. My father was growing distant from the rest of the family now. He was always distant from me and acted like I got on his nerves, but he seemed to like everyone else enough. So I listened in on his phone calls...
He kept mentioning a... Rika... and that he would be seeing her soon... that they would be together soon... just have to get the wife and the kids out of the way first...
And I told you a while back that I got furious over that. It was one thing for Oto-san to disregard me but honestly, it was another to disregard the rest of my family too! So I got in trouble at school more often, did worse on my grades with the idea that because he's upset me, I'll disappoint him.
Chances are that my arsehole behaviour drove him away more. In fact, my parents started fighting because of me. At least I think so. Neither knew what caused my behaviour, neither knew my motives...
That began those long, sleepless nights. Sometimes I snuck out to watch the moon from the top of the hill on which my house was on, hoping it would put me at ease. I liked to think that it would work but it never did.
Oto-san lost his job. I think that was the final straw. Oka-san grabbed Amane and said something about filing for a divorce. Then they left. Ryou asked me what a divorce meant and I pretended not to know. But I knew what it meant. And I knew that I hated my father. He screwed everything up.
But I hated myself even more. I think I was most responsible for tearing our family apart.
And that was the last time I ever saw my mother and Amane alive. We got a phone call about the two being rushed to hospital. Neither Ryou nor I understood what was going on but when we got to the hospital, it...
It was too late.
I think that was when Ryou's world fell to pieces. Never mind me; my world wasn't whole to begin with. I was sad over their deaths but seeing my twin brother suffer was worse, more than anything. For the first time, I felt like we were twins. His misery made me miserable and we acted more like twins too as we spent more time together and everything.
We had to leave the house and rent a flat to live in. After all, Oto-san's next job wasn't nearly as good and he couldn't afford to keep the house. It was tough saying goodbye to that place, mostly because I knew that where life was going now, it was all downhill.
Because most of our extended family stayed away, Ryou and Oto-san were the only people in my life that held some form of significance. We had to go to a poor middle school and all the students there were lame. I think Jounouchi had to go to that school but we were never in the same classes so he never recognised us from there.
One day, Oto-san announced that he had a huge business trip and so he packed his bags and left. Ryou asked why he took almost all of his belongings and why he didn't get a caregiver to take care of us while he was away. I shrugged. I didn't care. We had the whole flat to ourselves.
After a couple of months, the flat was a mess and the landlord occasionally asked when we'd pay the rent. I told him that our father would send over payments but I quickly realised that he wasn't paying the rent for us at all. And that's when it sunk in. He was never coming back for us. We've been ditched altogether. I could never properly explain this to Ryou but I think he got it too. He used to ask when Oto-san would return but it got to the stage where he stopped asking that and started questioning what will happen to us.
Would we get sent to an orphanage? Will we be kicked out of our flat? And school fees, the school had been bugging us about that too. Well, we did get kicked to the curb. We had no way of taking most of our stuff either. So we were now living on the streets. We were able to pack sleeping bags, clothes and the necessary items but we became broke too.
We were nearly high school age but we were already at the stage of fending for ourselves, needing jobs and having to find our own way in life. Ryou and I were too young for that, we weren't ready. I had to become an actual thief. Well, we needed food and water. Ryou started getting weak from this lifestyle but there was nothing I could do. We couldn't afford to get him to a doctor or anything.
Ryou asked why we didn't get help or anything but I was selfish. I felt like there was nobody who could help us, no one at all. No sane person would ever take me in. It was something I could not steal.
Then came that fateful day. We slept in a park overnight in a section where we'd go unnoticed. When we woke up, we decided to get help. Ryou was reaching his limit and even I was starting to feel sick.
We were about to cross the road when I realised a car was coming. Ryou's senses weren't working as well so he couldn't tell. I screamed for him to get back. I heard the screech of brakes. I squeezed my eyes shut. I didn't want to watch my brother get killed. This was it. I was going to be all alone. There was a silence. I opened my eyes.
A miracle.
The car – no, the limousine stopped just in time!
Ryou was alive!
He rushed back to me and sobbed over how scary that was. I looked to the limousine and saw two men step out onto the footpath. One of them looked like a bodyguard. He eyed us warily as the other man approached us. This other man... Oh... He was nothing like I'd ever seen.
The expensive red suit, the long silver hair that covered one eye, I didn't care for physical description. It wasn't his looks... It was the vibes I got from him. I couldn't trust him yet it felt like I couldn't turn away from him either. When he opened his mouth and began to speak, shivers went down my spine. He repulsed me but at the same time, I thought that maybe... just maybe he was me and Ryou's only hope.
"What are two sickly boys doing running around the city with suitcases?" he asked us with a tone that made the two of us feel uneasy. I asked him for directions to the nearest orphanage and he simply chuckled. "So you're orphan boys with nowhere to go?" I nodded at that question. "In that case, how would you like to come with me? I think I can help you out."
He offered for us to go in the limousine with him. Ryou said we shouldn't go with him as he didn't look trustworthy plus going off with strangers was a bad thing. I snapped at him and said that we haven't anything to lose.
So we got into the limousine and the silver-haired man's henchman placed our suitcases into the boot of the car. We sat away from the man cautiously. The limousine started up again and we drove off.
That was the day we met Pegasus J. Crawford.
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Stopping the chapter there, le gasp! Don't worry, next chapter will have more on their backstory. And I'm enjoying writing Bakura's perspective lately. Considering how before, it was hard for Marik to tell what was going on in Bakura's head... But I'm needing to have the romance starting from Bakura's side because if Marik did first, considering how Bakura can read his mind, it would've been awkward writing things. Plus Marik's fine being oblivious for now. And Bakura and Ryou can have that whole 'holy crap me and my twin like the same guy' thing going on. :x
Also, I'm glad to have plonked a girl that knows a good deal of the situation now, before it was like, only guys who had a clue. So perhaps Shizuka shall be more useful in future, nyaha. And Ishizu will get more of a role eventually, she still isn't quite aware that three groups are stalking her brother, lawlz.
Eh, enough rambling. Next chapter: How does Pegasus help Ryou and Bakura? What is their true motive in regards to Marik? Does Marik start to realise what's going on with Bakura and his emotions? Also, Seto starts to continue with his plans...
Review, yes please? *shot*
Adios!
Mel-Girl.
