Eric's POV.
The light from the open fire bathes my whole apartment in a deep orange glow, making it light enough all the way over here by the bed for me to be able to see her as she lays next to me. Except her beautiful eyes could illuminate the whole room anyway I feel, and I feel contentment that long appeared lost to me as I watch her watching me, stroking my hair as she looks down at me.
'Your mind is restless, and I have to confess it troubles me' she tells me, a small frown of concern shadowing her otherwise perfectly beautiful, flawless face.
'There's nothing wrong, nothing on my mind other than you' I tell her, watching her shake her head.
'Eric, you should know by now that line works on other people, but never me love' she replies, her face nearing mine and her lips capturing mine in a kiss.
'I never could lie to you, could I?' I ask her, watching her shake her head 'no', her other hand now stroking the side of my face. And just as I decide it probably is the best option to alleviate my mind and tell her my troubles, the door flies open, and in run three huge black wolves, and before I can even jump up fast enough to protect her, to put myself in harm's way instead of her, they tear her from my arms and rip her to bits, until the only thing that's left of Tyra is her blood and torn off limbs all over the floor, while all I can do is sit and watch...
'Being a vampire means a lot of human pleasantries are lost forever. Why can't dreams be included in those 'pleasantries' too?' I mutter to myself as I wake up, look at the time, and see its only 11am. Four hours after I shut my eyes, and four hours after I began dreaming about Tyra, like I have for the last four days since I saw her. Is it not enough that I spend a lot of my waking hours with the woman on my mind, now I have to suffer thinking about her in sleep too? This constant quest to find out what she is, and why her blood and the energy she transmits affect me as much as I do is becoming a bother to me, since I'm still no closer to discovering what she is; even though my blood flows through her veins now, and hers in mine too. I still cannot decipher what she is. And I find it annoying. Very annoying, especially since at some times, I find myself thinking about her for reasons that don't involve what she is, or my desire to pin her to my bed and fuck her until she can't move for a month. I confess, I've been starting to wonder if there's something else about her that attracts me so heavily, pulls me in further than any other woman in my life has or does. And then I pull myself together and realize that at my age, I'm immune from such emotions and feelings. But still, I cannot justify how her energy makes me feel, or her blood either.
When I visited her after finding out that it was indeed Russell who murdered my family, that energy when I held her hands to my face just made everything melt away completely. The painful memories (we're not made entirely of stone, we still can feel what we remember), the dangerous rage, the longing for vengeance; when she held my face in her hands, it just went away. It made me feel at peace, nourished by her even, healed. I still cannot fully describe it, how her energy acts upon me. Or why her blood made me change to something close to human in the way I regarded her, the guilt I felt for being the cause of her falling down the stairs (even though the triumph of the task being completed in the exact way I expected to still burns bright), or the contentment I felt at looking after her, just having her lying next to me. It doesn't make a shred of sense, and it doesn't add up either. Also, I see it as a weakness, and that is a word that does not enter my vocabulary; ever. Unless I'm applying it to somebody else that is. Otherwise, I do not have weaknesses, yet I can feel I have one slowly building up where Tyra is concerned. That energy I feel, I have a weakness for, and when I drank her blood...no, no, NO! I have no weakness for that, to be tender and kind with her. NO! I'm sick of this, absolutely sick to the back fucking teeth of...
'If you're so sick of it, then admit defeat. It won't make you any less of a vampire to realize what is good for you Eric. Surely that is something I managed to teach you?' I hear, and look over to see Godric's ghostly form sitting on my couch.
'You also taught me it is bad for any vampire to have a weakness, to form a soft spot that can be prodded and picked at. You always vehemently instructed me to rein in my emotions!' I fume as I sit up and stare at him angrily, or rather his form. He just laughs softly, annoying me further.
'Admitting you feel something towards Tyra is no act of weakness my child. You will understand why you do, one day soon. And you will know then that what you feel just cannot be helped, no vampire ever could resist the charms of her kind. You'd be the first in all of history if you did Eric. And I'm telling you right now, you shouldn't resist her. And pretty soon you'll discover that you can't, it will be impossible' he replies, making my fury only burn further.
'And you still cannot tell me why either, can you?' I spit coldly, my temper only being met by good nature.
'Of course I can't! That would make everything just too easy, and to be rewarded with what you will one day claim as yours and no one else's you will see why you had to work so hard to attain it. You are not far from having everything fall into place for you; you must not give up now. The answers, they are all here now, just waiting to be discovered. As I've told you before, have patience Eric, have patience. And, trust me' are all his says before his image becomes fainter and fainter, and he vanishes into thin air again. Trust you? I've trusted you for over a thousand years, and you've never infuriated me to this level before Godric, never. And this is the only thing I can cling to, the fact that all this guessing, and his total cryptic behaviour, must be for something big. Whatever Tyra is, she's been sent for a reason, and that must be big too. But, I'm getting sick of trying to find out, and am starting to wonder what reward could possibly be worth all this effort...
'Let me see that!'
'No, it's nothing!'
'Nothing my cold dead ass, hand the cell phone over Tyra'
'No! Fuck off Pam...Pam...PAM STOP!'
'Ohhhhh! So this is who you're hiding from me then? Oh you dirty cat, could your tongue be any further down his throat?'
That's the sound that's greeted me upon waking up and heading upstairs to the club, Pam and Tyra having one of those womanly bickering moments all female friends seem to insist upon sharing with each other, usually when one wants information the other is reluctant to give as is the case here. And with the last comment made by my progeny it doesn't take a genius to work out what the exact topic of their conversation is...another potential boyfriend I'll have to glamour away by the sound of things. And so I hide behind the slightly open door, gathering more information as I eavesdrop.
'Oh hush! He took that picture anyway, not me. I was just trying to delete it when you came a' spying on me' I hear Tyra reply, looking through the crack in the door and seeing her trying to snatch her cell back away from Pam, who looks like she's having too much fun snooping to let that happen right now, moving the cell faster than Tyra can try and swipe it back.
'So who is this mystery, and may I say very attractive for a man, and a human at that, young gentleman you'd been sucking face with? And why did you not tell me about him sooner?' Pam then asks her, finally giving her the cell back.
'Because I only met him a week ago, and I dunno, something just clicked with him, he's really different to all the other line of losers I've dated recently. And he just seems really perfect for me too, into all the same things as me, doesn't want to be and won't be under my feet twenty four seven since his job keeps him away for most of the week. And yes, he is just a little bit gorgeous isn't he?' Tyra replies, while I watch Pam nodding.
'Oh so he's a keeper is he, this Mr Black hair and green eyes? Give me name!' Pam replies.
'Danny' Tyra replies at first, and then ponders for a few moments. 'And you know me, I never rush into making a decision but yeah, so far I just get a real good feeling about him' she finishes with, while I feel something inside me swell with anger. Danny, make the most of her while you can, because you're on limited time, you really are.
'Either that or it's the fact that for the last year you've been celibate, which is still something I find very hard to believe with someone as criminally sexy as you my friend' Pam replies, something I can only agree with really. But that piece of information only really makes me want her more, suddenly I feel the fact that she's no slut really do it for me, despite my liking of lose women. Tyra's resistance to give in to me only makes me want her more though.
'Pam if you've quite finished distracting my bookkeeper, I'd like her to be working for what she's paid to come here to do, the books, not gossip with you about her love life' I say as I finally decide to enter the room, watching Pam give a 'well, I guess that told me' look from under her long eyelashes, before she saunters out, leaving just me and Tyra alone.
'Could I ask that you actually do some work instead of chattering about unimportant babble with Pamela? Surely that's not too much to ask of a fucking bookkeeper is it?' I ask her, my temper rising by the second as I keep seeing an image of her in my head kissing another man, and then becoming more furious at myself for letting it bother me.
'Duly noted boss' is all she replies, in that 'I couldn't really give a shit what you think' tone she has.
'Don't give me that tone' I warn her firmly, leaning across the desk so far that she has no choice but to look up at me.
'Why? Don't blame me for your own jealousy Eric' she replies simply.
'I AM NOT JEALOUS OF ANYTHING OR ANYONE! I JUST WANT YOU TO DO YOUR GODDAMNED JOB TYRA!' I roar at her, beyond enraged all of a sudden, and still completely furious at myself for letting her push my buttons like this.
'And shouting at me like that goes a long way to prove that theory' she replies with heavy sarcasm. And there it is again, the urge to either kiss her or kill her, polluting my mind so much I don't answer, I just leave quickly as my burning temper shows no signs of subsidence...
Tyra's POV.
Jealous with a capitol J, that's exactly what he is. Well, that isn't my problem. I'm sick to death of him blowing me hot and cold too, one minute interested, the next far from it, playing his stupid little games with me because I won't do the one thing he wants and open my legs to him. Fuck him if he's going to be like that, I really want no part in it all. So after I happened to meet Danny just eight days ago while I was having a relaxing afternoon working away on my laptop at a large chain outlet coffee house last Tuesday, I decided to give up on anything that might or might not be with Eric, and just move the hell on, find someone who wants me because he wants me, and not someone who wants to fuck with my head as much as he can. I'm seeing him again tomorrow night, third date time, and I can hardly wait. But until then I do have the company of a certain male to enjoy, since we never did get round to rescheduling that little dinner date of ours...
'Sit your ass down and tuck in to some serious chow' Lafayette tells me, pulling out my chair for me and tucking it underneath me as I sit down to perhaps the largest burrito I've ever seen, with a pile of rice next to it in a small bowl too.
'Well if I manage to finish all this then I think I deserve some kind of prize' I reply, thanking him as he pours me a glass of wine, mixing his with cherry Coke in the same bizarre way he always does. 'If it's good enough for Jimi Hendrix' he says in way of explanation, referencing the late guitarists liking of red wine and Coke together.
'Cheers, so ice princess, how are things with Danny boy? You got that third date all hooked up yet?' he asks me, as I cut into the mammoth burrito, the smell of freshly seared spicy chicken hitting my nose as the steam rises from the middle.
'Tomorrow, he's taking me up to New Orleans to see a band. And you know I've spoken to him on the phone every day since I met him. I never run out of things to say to the dude, it's amazing. We just mesh and it's a little scary to be fair, how instantly we clicked. But we just did' I reply, watching Lafayette nod as he blows on a forkful of hot brown rice.
'Well that definitely sounds like you found yo' self a keeper, I'll drink to that' He says, swallowing his mouthful of rice and lifting his glass. We toast and then take a few gulps each.
'You're the second person to say that to me. Well, the first wasn't technically a person' I reply, watching Lafayette just stare at me for a minute.
'I assume you mean you told that Pam woman, and not Eric, right? Because I can imagine that'd go town as well as if you brought the dude a silver watch' he snorts in reply while I laugh quietly.
'Of course Pam, I don't talk to him about stuff like that. But he did come in part way through our conversation so heard what we were talking about. And he didn't like it one bit. He was jealous as hell if truth be known' I reply, still feeling a touch proud I managed to inadvertently ruffle his feathers as much as I did. Damn he was pissed.
'Hmmmm, you look way more pleased by that than you do about your third date with Danny boy' he observes, while I stop eating momentarily and just gape at him slightly.
'What do you mean by that exactly? And yes, I'm aware of the dialogue used, but I kinda picked up on some underlying connotations there' I ask him, watching him look uncomfortable for a moment, before erupting.
'Damn it hooker you playin' Eric Northman just as much as his dead white boy ass be playin' you, shit!' he exclaims, dropping his fork somewhat dramatically and grabbing his drink. 'I feared this would happen, you're into him and you's just using that poor fucker to either make Mr dead man jealous or hide from the fact you really do like him, and you don't wanna admit it' he then adds, before adding 'truth!' just before I'm about to speak.
'Okay, so maybe I've thrown myself into this whole Danny thing a bit quickly, but it's so I can just move on from Eric and not get all messed up in him, because it's not what I want!' I justify, to the sound of Lafayette snorting.
'Yeah? All I ever hear you bitch whinging on about is Eric! Eric, Eric, fucking ERIC! You playin' him, and you lovin' every last second of it, because you know you playin' with more than just fire honey child, you playin' with the devil himself. I know I don't gotta tell you how fucking dangerous the son of a bitch is, but either way you gotta do something here, and if you ask me it's either of two things' he tells me, eventually calming down more as his speech goes along. I know he's only worried for me, that's why I'm not losing my shit back at him. I'd be doing the same if it was him and someone who I didn't approve of too.
'And what are those things?' I ask him, taking a gulp of my wine.
'Stop being a vampire dick tease permanently and quit the job, or fuck him and get it the hell out of yo' damn system. I advise the former though' he replies neatly, and I can't help but to suddenly laugh.
'Sweet cheeks I'm being serious over here! You gotta decide what it is YOU want, and stop second guessing everything you think Eric wants' he then barks at me, but with no anger in his voice, just his usual boom.
'You're right, as usual Lafayette you're absolutely right' I concur, figuring it's useless to try and find any other way out of this. But still, something has to be said for the fact that leaving my post at Fangtasia is not the first option that crosses my mind; no matter how much my friend sitting opposite might disagree with that notion. And strangely enough, the person who that notion would be carried out with sends me a text just a few minutes after I've finished eating my huge dinner; that incidentally I didn't manage to finish.
'Can you come back to the club? There's something I forgot to give you, and it's very important that you receive it tonight'.
'Why can't it wait until tomorrow?' I text him back, as Lafayette rejoins me at the table after taking our plates into the kitchen.
'It just can't. Just come back as soon as you can, please'. I receive a few minutes later.
'Danny?' Lafayette asks me hopefully.
'Eric' I sigh.
'Thought so' he replies. 'And what does he have to say?' he then asks.
'He wants me to go back to the club, tells me there's something he forgot to give me and it's important that I get it tonight' I reply, while he nods, and then surprises me with his words.
'Go' he says simply at first. 'Go now and get whatever he has for you. But you've got the half hour it'll take for you to drive to Shreveport to decide on what you tell him when you get there. If you hand in your notice, or if you hand him the booty, and that's a fair enough deal right? You know yo' can't sweat on this one forever Tyra' he follows with, his words very wise. Once again, he's right.
'I will, I'll do just that. And thank you, I'll come back and let you know what I decided' I reply as we get up, and he folds me up in his long arms and gives me a hug.
'Well if I don't answer the door it's because Jesus and I are gettin' busy' he replies, referring to his new boyfriend of sorts.
'Then I'll text and make sure the coast is clear first' I reply with a chuckle as we walk over to the door. And after he's seen me out I walk straight back down to my house, put on a jacket since it's started to rain, and then head out to the car. And as I drive I begin thinking, thinking hard as I take the long way over to Shreveport, buying myself little extra time while I mull over my choices, and nervously crunch my way through a whole box of orange tic tacs to pacify my juddering teeth. Suddenly, the thought of never seeing Eric again leaves me short of breath; just as the idea of having sex with him does, and from here on in I honestly have no idea what to decide upon. And that conflicts strongly with the knowledge of what Lafayette said being right, and the only decision I must make. I have to end my own torment one way or another. But even as I'm walking across the main floor of Fangtasia, after Pam tells me Eric is waiting for me in his office as I enter, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek (she surprises me all the time with such friendly gestures as a cheek kiss upon greeting me) and having it whispered into my ear, I'm still no wiser as to what to decide upon. Just as I am when I walk into the office and catch sight of him
'So? What's this important thing you forgot to give me, this thing that can't possibly wait until tomorrow?' I ask him somewhat wearily. This better be fucking good, or I'm gone. There, decision made. But then, for the first time since I entered the office, I actually look him in the eye, and he holds my gaze from behind the desk, holds it so fast I can feel my resolve weakening, his stare so powerful he just holds me there as he gets up and walks slowly towards me. And the way he's looking at me...he's never looked at me like this before, coming to a stop in front of me and reaching out over my shoulder to push the door shut, while I feel my heart starting to beat at a hundred miles an hour.
'This' is all he replies as he leans down, not hesitating even for just a flicker of a second before he kisses me...and I kiss him back, and everything, everything else just melts away as I fall into the most passionate, unbreakably strong, intense kiss I've ever received, ever participated in. And at the very moment I feel him try to lift me I jump, up into his arms with my legs locked around his waist, his arms around me so tightly he's crushing me to him, and not once does our kiss break...not now...and not for the whole hour that follows it either. And I know that when a vampire is turned on their fangs come out, and right now as my tongue entwines with his I feel no presence of said pointy sharp teeth at all...so what does that say?
'Go'. Well, that's what he says at least, almost dropping me. Thank god I have the landing skills of a cat or I'd be on my ass about now.
'What?' I ask him incredulously.
'GO!' he demands, his face contorting as he screws his eyes shut, before literally vanishing, and leaving me to wonder one thing; have I lost my mind? Why am I doing this to myself? Why am I giving in to this mans demands time and time again just to be rejected time and time again? I don't know, but I do know one thing, on the drive home I tune into total rock radio, and the song 'Where is my mind?' by The Pixies comes on, and it feels like they're asking the question just to me, it feels karmic in a strange way that I hear this song now, perhaps the cosmos is letting me know I'm right, where is my mind? Honestly, where is it? Because I must be going insane to keep torturing myself like this. But then again, I'm not the only one doing the torturing, the game playing. Oh no. For when I arrive home, he's standing on my porch waiting for me. I cannot believe it, I just...grrrr! Getting out of my car I look right through him as I head up to my house, unlocking my front door and having myself for feeling like every tiny hair on my body is standing on end as I feel him right behind me, and then once inside my house turn to look at him, and feel tingles I don't want to feel run through me.
'You kiss me, and you tell me to go, and now you're here! I mean what the fuck? What do you want from me?' I ask him in a shrill shout, totally exasperated, my cool lost long ago.
'I don't know, but I know one thing. I can't just kiss you, and I can never be satisfied with just kissing you ever again' he tells me, advancing on me and then taking my head in his hands, his mouth connecting with mine again in a kiss so deep it doesn't break, as I feel every single barrier I've put up against him break in half, and I let him in totally. We make it roughly another two steps back into the house before the floor is where we fall, our kiss only breaking to pull each other out of our clothes, until all that covers our skin is each other.
Authors note - Girls, THANK YOU SO MUCH for your continued reading and reviewing of this story :) you have no idea how thrilled I am that you all appear to be enjoying reading this as much as I am enjoying writing it! I get so excited whenever my Blackberry beeps to let me know I have a new review in my inbox lol :D keep them coming! xx
