Her master was smoking a cigarette and Alex was kneeling at his feet, trying to stay absolutely still, because she knew what the punishment would be if she didn't.
Her muscles twitched after a few moments, and her master saw, because he stubbed his cigarette out on her stomach. She screamed, then bit down hard on her bottom lip, trying not to cry.
He left her, slamming the door and giving her strict instructions not to move. She knew what would happen if she did, so she stayed perfectly still, despite the pain in her stomach from the burn.
The door opened, but it wasn't her master standing in the doorway. It was Olivia.
"You're too ugly for me to love you anymore," sneered Olivia before turning and walking away, leaving Alex sobbing for her to come back.
Alex woke up crying, and she pulled away when she felt Olivia's arms wrap around her. She curled up in a ball on the edge of the bed, not wanting Olivia to touch her right now.
"It was just a dream, honey," soothed Olivia, gently rubbing her back. "You're okay."
Alex shook her head. She was ugly and dirty, too dirty to share the bed with Olivia. She started to tremble as she got out of bed and started toward the living room, curling up on the couch.
Olivia followed, draping a thick blanket over her shoulders and pulling Alex into her arms. "What is it, baby?"
Alex shook her head again, pulling away. She couldn't be near Olivia right now. She didn't deserve the detective, and she couldn't be with her anymore.
Olivia sat down beside her. "Could you write it down for me, honey?"
Alex pushed Olivia away. It was the only way she knew how to communicate what she wanted, feral as it was.
Olivia handed her a piece of paper and a pen anyway. "Go on, honey," she encouraged. "Tell me what's wrong."
Alex glared at her, yanking the pen from Olivia's hands and scribbling illegibly on the page, then handing it back to Olivia, almost petulantly.
Olivia's dark eyes were deep pools of sadness. "I just want to help you, sweetie. Tell me what I can do to help."
Alex sighed. Finally, she took the pen and wrote, Go away.
Olivia looked heartbroken, but she kissed Alex's forehead before reluctantly going back to the bedroom, leaving Alex to sleep on the couch, alone.
Alex began to cry as soon as Olivia had left. But then, this pain was what she'd wanted, what she'd hoped to accomplish by pushing Olivia away. Right?
Days went by, stretching on forever. Olivia took off that entire time to be with Alex, because she knew her girlfriend needed her now. But still, Alex wouldn't – couldn't – talk to her. She woke up every night sobbing and still refused to let Olivia see her scars. She could barely keep any food down. She was damaged, and she was terrified that Olivia was going to leave her when she found out how horrible she really was.
Olivia tucked her into bed that night before climbing in after her and taking Alex into her arms, gently rubbing her girlfriend's shoulders. "You can sleep now," she whispered as she massaged away the tension in Alex's muscles. "You're safe here. It's okay."
Olivia stayed awake for hours, watching over her until Alex finally managed to fall into a fitful slumber.
She lay there, terrified, tied to the bed. The collar around her neck was so tight that it was almost painful, but she didn't complain because she knew it would do her no good.
The men were watching her hungrily, like predators appraising their prey. "Beautiful," approved one of them, running his hands up Alex's sides. She whimpered and tried to squirm away, but her bonds held her too tight.
Her wriggling earned her a slap across the face and her master leaned toward her, hissing, "You be good for my friends or you'll wish you'd never been born."
She already did.
"You can go first," her master offered one of the men, as if she was an inanimate object, there merely for their enjoyment.
He smirked and pulled down his pants, then thrust into Alex. She screamed as he entered her, biting down hard on her lower lip as she received another smack. He continued to thrust inside her and she squeezed her eyes shut from the soreness between her legs.
Finally, he finished, but then came the second man, and then the third, and the fourth. Soon she passed out from exhaustion and pain.
Alex woke up screaming, louder than she'd ever screamed in her life. She was drenched in sweat and she was shaking from head to toe.
Olivia was awake in an instant, sitting up and taking Alex into her arms and rocking her back and forth. "Shh, it's okay, baby. It's okay. I'm here. You're safe, honey. You're okay."
Alex buried her head in Olivia's shoulder and cried. It wasn't okay. Olivia was being so good to her, but she knew it could never last. The second Olivia saw her scars, she'd be gone, which is why Alex could never show them to her.
"Shh, honey," soothed the detective, stroking Alex's hair. "You're okay." She kissed the crown of Alex's head. "Come on," she said gently. "Let's get you out of those clothes."
Alex was confused for a moment, but then she felt the damp spot on the sheets and ducked her head in humiliation. She'd wet the bed. She hadn't done this in forever.
Before she could even protest, Olivia had lifted the hem of her shirt and started to remove it. Her quiet gasp told Alex all she needed to know and she whimpered, then looked away in shame. But Olivia didn't say a word.
When she finally dared to meet Olivia's eyes, all she could read in those deep chocolate orbs was compassion, and pain. And Alex felt bad all over again, because she knew that all the pain she was feeling, Olivia felt twice as much. She held her breath, trying not to cry. Olivia was still here. Alex couldn't figure it out. Olivia had seen how ugly and horrible she was and she hadn't left.
She tensed when she felt Olivia tenderly tracing her scars, and then covering them with a trail of gentle kisses. She relaxed after a few moments, though. This was Olivia, and she knew Olivia wasn't going to hurt her.
"You're beautiful," whispered Olivia as she bathed Alex's scars with soft kisses. "So beautiful." She gave Alex a watery smile, tucking a strand of stray blonde hair behind her ear. "And I love you so, so much."
Alex's breathing hitched. And then the words came, and when they did, they were so bittersweet that she wanted to cry. "Liv," she whispered. They were the first words she'd uttered in over a year and they tasted odd on her tongue, but they were out there, finally.
Olivia's head snapped up and she met Alex's eyes. "Yeah, baby?" she asked tenderly, the surprise evident in her eyes as she caressed Alex's cheek.
Alex leaned into the touch and looked right into Olivia's eyes as she said, slowly, because it was taking a lot of effort to speak after so long, "Love you."
And Olivia's smile made it all worth it when she leaned forward to gently kiss Alex and whispered, "I love you, too, honey. I love you, too."
Review for chapter thirteen!
