~ Chapter 12 – It's complicated ~

Ichigo woke to a cold bed and he was alone. He'd managed to sleep through the remainder of yesterday and he suspected that it was late morning. But where was Grimmjow?

He got out from the bed and almost fell flat on his face at the ache in his lower back. His bruised rib throbbed too. Maybe he shouldn't have done something like this so soon after his discharge. Ichigo limped out from the bedroom in his naked glory since his clothes from yesterday was filthy. Through a window he could see the bluenette sitting on his patio smoking a cigarette staring blankly ahead of him. Upon feeling the crust from the dried semen and his oily ass cheek, Ichigo went straight for the shower.

Feeling much better after the shower and with fresh clothes on his body, Ichigo saw that Grimmjow was still outside. A pot of coffee had been put on a while ago which Ichigo took a cup of. He took a sip of the coffee wondering what he should do next. He hadn't gotten any messages from Shinji so the blonde must have stayed at Nnoitra's. Grimmjow seemed to be avoiding him for some reason, it hurt a little. Taking the bull by its horns, Ichigo walked out through the front door with coffee in hand and sat down on the extra chair. Grimmjow looked terrible. This wasn't how he would expect their first morning to be. He really wasn't the type to have casual sex and the feelings he felt now wasn't pleasant. The cigarette Grimmjow had finished smoking was put out and he reached for a new one in his pack straight away.

"Avoiding me are you?" Ichigo said in a light tone to make it easy going. Grimmjow lit the cigarette and chose to not answer. "I missed you in bed, what's wrong?" He tried again.

"I couldn't sleep." Grimmjow finally answered.

"Did I do anything? Was my performance bad in anyway?"

Grimmjow frowned. Ichigo swallowed some coffee to ease his discomfort.

"I'm more then pleased with yesterday." Ichigo couldn't help but blush. "It's my emotions that are all over the place. As much as I loved it I can't help to feel guilt. I've always thought that I would never be able to let go, that I always would be stuck in the past but then I met you and everything flew straight out through the window. Now I'm not sure what to feel."

"I don't expect you to bury your old feelings first thing in the morning. I know loss is a difficult thing but please talk to me instead of shutting me out." Ichigo traced his pointer on the golden band around Grimmjow's finger. They had been discussing this yesterday but apparently Grimmjow was still hesitant. "Your union can't be taken away or be erased by anyone. It will still be there and Novaki will still have a part of your heart, nothing can change that. If you're worrying about forgetting, stop, because you won't. You need to keep on living a life to be proud of." Ichigo squeezed the hand reassuringly.

A small smile spread on the bluenette's lips. "You're too good to me." He said.

"I care about you, it's only natural."

"Com'ere." Grimmjow pulled at Ichigo's arm and brought him closer; leaning over the table he kissed him sweetly. A simple kiss to show Ichigo what he couldn't phrase with words.

"You showered."

"Yeah, I hope you don't mind. I was icky."

"Could have joined you."

"Should have thought about that sooner then." Ichigo winked.

"Don't play with fire."

"I don't, I play with you."

Grimmjow laughed and made Ichigo do it to. "I need to go to the gym today. Got a client booked in. Do you want a ride home?"

"Sure."

Ichigo packed his bag while Grimmjow freshened up in the bathroom. They climbed into Grimmjow's black mustang and remembering the man's wild way of driving, Ichigo buckled up with care. Grimmjow on the other hand forgo wearing one. He tried to make his point by raising an eyebrow while looking at the seat belt but Grimmjow only waved it away. One fast, stomach turning car ride later, they arrived to Shinji's apartment. Ichigo tried to find the right words before leaving, but Grimmjow beat him to it. "Gimme your number." He said while holding out his phone. Ichigo took it and entered his contact information. Grimmjow was quick in sending him a text so he had his number too.

"Feel free to call or text me at anytime." Grimmjow said.

"I will. See you soon?"

"Yeah, take care kid."

"I'm not a kid, thought I proved that already."

"You did was just teasing you."

Ichigo sighed as he put a hand on the door handle. "I will miss you." Grimmjow stroked his thigh before letting it rest on his knee. "I'm only a call away. So call if you need me." Ichigo nodded and pushed the door open to step out on the curb. Grimmjow stopped him by his arm. "You forgot something." It made Ichigo turn his head around and the bluenette leaned over the middle console and gave Ichigo a quick peck on the lips. As he was about to pull back, Ichigo's hands grasped at his blue hair to bring him closer. He totally ruined the styled messy locks. Ichigo initiated a deeper kiss, tongues colliding calmly with the right amount of heat behind them. While they parted Ichigo tried to restyle Grimmjow's hair but it was useless. Though Grimmjow eased it back the way it was with no difficulties. Feeling a little better about himself Ichigo could leave the car and walk the stairs to the apartment. Grimmjow burned some tires as he drove away. That man and his driving… Shinji was surprisingly home and awake when he came in through the door.

"I was about to call you. Thought you would be home when I came back."

Ichigo threw his bag in a corner to leave it for unpacking later after stopping himself from wanting to skip through the apartment in happiness. His stomach made him realize that he only had gotten a cup of coffee for breakfast and made a beeline for the fridge. Luckily a plate of leftovers had been left in it so he put it in the microwave. He watched the plate spin in the appliance and in the reflection of it Shinji was staring at him dead on obviously thinking about something.

"Ne, Ichigo… Who made you limp like that?" He froze. Shinji was observant as always. "You never spent the night yesterday judging by your bag and you basically just came home." Shinji appeared at his side and let his pointer finger trace his throat down to his collar bone. "You smell like sports body wash and have a huge hickey."

The micro beeped and Ichigo took out the plate from it.

"Care to tell me whose bed you have been warming last night, though it's pretty obvious."

Ichigo sighed, Shinji could be persistent if he wanted to be. "If you know then there's no need for me to tell you the obvious."

"It ruins all the fun for me."

"Jeez, okay! I was with Grimmjow and yes we fucked and I was fucking good at it." Ichigo found a fork and stabbed his poor food with it.

"Hah! I knew it! It was only a matter of time if you ask me. So… it was awesome? Was he big? Did it hurt? Is he really bluehaired?

Leave it to Shinji to have a thousand questions. "It was really good." Ichigo blushed. "Thought Kariya-san was good but Grimmjow almost was better."

"Duh, you only slept with one guy in your whole life before you met Grimmjow, you really couldn't have thought that. Just because he's old and experienced doesn't mean that he's the best in bed."

"Well, excuse me."

"I think everyone believes that to be honest, I did too. You forgot one important thing, size." Shinji gestured gap and width with his hands.

"That's between him and me."

"Urgh, spoilsport. I'll go with tiny until you say other."

"If it was wouldn't I have said so?" Ichigo managed to smirk. Shinji winked back. "True." Ichigo finished his plate of food and put the empty plate in the sink. Shinji yawned and rubbed his eyes. "Stupid, go to bed before you fall asleep on your feet. We can talk more there, I should rest too." Before they went to bed, Shinji got Ichigo to brush his hair claiming that he was too tired. They managed to lie down after that but Ichigo wasn't tired at all. He had slept quite a bit at Grimmjow's.

"You and Grimmjow are you two an item not or what?"

"I'm not sure."

"Well, you are or you aren't."

"I've expressed my feelings and he did the same. We decided to try, but he has a hard time letting go of his past. His husband died and he's still in love with him."

"Sounds too invoked for me."

"I've been thinking that too but I'm okay with it. I know how it is too loose someone, it takes time and he's not there yet."

"Ichi, you should stop being so considerate…" Shinji managed to answer before falling asleep. Yeah, he was to kind for his own good. He couldn't help it; it is the way he is. If the only one hurting would be him in the end he didn't mind. He turned around in the bed so his back faced Shinji. Shallow breaths puffed in his neck, tickling the hair there. He was bored to just hear Shinji sleep so Ichigo picked up his phone to fool around with. He downloaded a new game on it but grew quickly bored of that too. If only something could make his boring rest more fun, or someone. Ichigo opened his text from Grimmjow and typed a reply.

[How did your PT session go?]

After pressing 'send' he stared at the Iphone. The screen was still cracked but he hadn't gotten the money to fix it yet. He checked to be sure that the message had been delivered, and it had. Then he started some more. When it vibrated he almost dropped it. With small butterflies wrestling in his stomach he opened the inbox.

[It was alright. What are u doin'? Resting I hope.]

Ichigo typed a reply fast, saying that he was, even though it was boring as hell. A one word reply was sent back to it: 'Good.' Their conversation ended after just a few messages. Ichigo had no idea of how to continue, without looking desperate. A slim arm curled around his waist, tickling his stomach a little. Shinji nuzzled his face between his shoulder blades while muttering nonsense in his sleep. Ichigo put away the arm to behind himself to get some of his personal space back. He really needed to get his own place. Shinji hadn't said anything but he was certain of that it was a little annoying to not do as he liked in his own home. Nnoitra probably was sick of Shinji always being there when they was together too. He climbed out from bed and booted up the laptop on the kitchen table. Then he remembered what Shinji had been doing against it and moved to the couch instead.

After googling a bit he found a site that seemed legit. The ideal place should have a firsthand contract so that he wouldn't be forced to move around. The estate market was hard right now with too many people needing somewhere to live compared to the number of available apartments. He had been lucky with his first one, but it was only a coincidence that a friend of the family was moving in with his girlfriend. Had he known about the future he should have rented it out. Sighing quietly to himself, Ichigo scrolled through the pages. Rooms, too big, too expensive, secondhand contracts- oh a firsthand contract, never mind to expensive. Seems like firsthand isn't an option, or close to the city. Ugh. How much did Shinji pay for this place? It must be a freaking fortune. After facing the reality of not finding anything he uploaded his own advert of what he was looking for, who he was and et cetera and hoped that someone would answer. He then emailed to a person whose advert seemed reasonable pricewise.

Spending more time in front of the computer he watched cat videos on YouTube. One video led to another and soon he was watching a tutorial of how to fold the optimal paper plane. He found a paper in the printer and tried it out. He was forced to redo them a couple of times before he could fold them perfectly. He designed them as well with lines and writing on them. Before closing the laptop he checked his email just in case he had gotten any replies. He actually had two replies, one to his own advert and one to the one he had chosen by himself. Both said that he could come tomorrow already. He'd never thought that it would be this easy; maybe someone was kind to him?

"What are you smiling about? Sexting with G?" Shinji said from the bed obviously just woken up from his sleep. Ichigo threw one of his planes at him. "No stupid. I got two apartment showings tomorrow." Shinji shot up to a sitting position. "You're moving?"

"I feel that it's time that I get my own place. You need your space back."

"I've never wanted to throw you out though. Can I come? I can drive you!"

"Sure, I need your opinion too I suppose."

~xxx~

Shinji offered his much needed sleep the next day to go with Ichigo. He had done it before so it wouldn't do any harm, Ichigo made sure that there was snacks and caffeine in different varieties in case Shinji started to whine about everything. He'd been there before, never again.

Ichigo never told Shinji what kind of apartments they were going to see but when the car took them further and further away from the city, Shinji kind of got an idea.

"Oh God, just look at the building. The condition is terrible and there's weed everywhere!" Ichigo complained as he saw the first apartment complex. It was the one he had found by himself on the website. "Maybe the apartment isn't that bad, don't judge a book after the cover and all that." Ichigo threw him a skeptical look. They were forced to climb the stairs because the elevator was out of order and probably had been for a while. Upon finding the correct door, Ichigo pushed the bell and waited for it to open. It did soon enough and the waft of something sweet smelling made him scrunch his nose.

"Que?" Said a man in Spanish.

"Uhm, I emailed about seeing your apartment?" The man blinked slowly, clearly not understanding what he just had said. "Me-, Ichigo pointed at himself, "look-," made a gesture to his eyes, "apartment." And pointed inside.

"Ahh, si, si. alquilar de apartamento?"

"Si." Thank God that Chad had taught him some basic Spanish when he was younger.

The man gestured them to step inside. Ichigo walked through the hallway to the bigger room serving as a living- and bedroom. The wallpapers looked old and yellow and the man clearly smoked inside. It reeked. Moving on to the kitchen it just got worse. No cleaning squad in the world could get it clean. The stove and fridge looked ancient too. He then found the source of the sweet smell in the apartment. On the counter was a half smoked white joint. With one drug addict usually followed another. He would feel miserable living here. Hinting to Shinji that he wanted to leave, they walked to the door. Before leaving he said his thanks to the Spanish man. When they finally sat in the car it was silent.

"That was…"

"… A fucking catastrophe." Ichigo finished.

"When he stared at you like you where and alien, I really wondered if we got the wrong guy."

"He only knew Spanish too! The whole situation was just too strange. And who lets his weed just lie around like that?"

"Totally agree. Where's the next one?"

Ichigo explained the way with the help of his phone. The building was hard to find as it lay on the end of the street name, making it seem to belong to another one. They took a wrong turn before Ichigo understood where it was. Just by comparing this building with the other made it all look promising. The apartment was only one short stair, making it on a low first floor. He pressed the door bell but it was broken so he knocked. A blonde man opened the door; his hair was even rivaling Shinji's in both length and color.

"Sorry, the bell hasn't been fixed yet." The man said with a bright sparkle in his eyes.

"No worries. I'm Ichigo and you contacted me about renting your apartment?"

"Oh, that's right. Welcome inside. Name's Findorr Calius."

"Ichigo Kurosaki and this is Shinji."

The apartment had the same layout as the first but with a storage room in the kitchen and a french balcony in the main room. It seemed fresh too. The guy showed them around which was a bonus. Ichigo could see himself living here.

"You like it?" Findorr asked.

"Yeah, what did you have in mind? When is it free and how long?"

"I'm moving asap and we'd start off with a year first. If I don't need it anymore you can have it. I'll cancel electricity and IT so the only thing in my name will be the rent. You will have to put your name above mine on the door though, since my name is on the lease. Sound good?"

Ichigo glanced at Shinji who nodded. "I'll take it." It was the best out there for a reasonable amount of money.

"Perfect. I'll contact you with further details then. Oh, I almost forgot. I'm leaving most of my furniture."

"It's okay. I'll be happy to hear from you."

The car ride home to Shinji's was filled with great music they sang along to, not hitting a single note. Everything had gone so fast, he'd never thought that he would have an own place to stay at the end of the day. It felt unreal. Finally some good in his life. He could at last stand on his own feet.

"You must have a move in party."

"Haha, sure. I'll do it for you."

"Yay! I think my sleep depriving has turned to a new level. Because I'm happy, happy, happy." Shinji sang along to the song of Phil Harris, making Ichigo laugh hysterically. That song was so bad it was so good.

"Let's order pizza and drink beer to celebrate!" He exclaimed.

"Oh God yeees. I'm creaming my pants just thinking of a big, hot juicy one."

"Are we even talking about pizza anymore?"

"Ichi, you and your dirty mind."

"You're the one with the head in the gutter."

They bought a huge family pizza even going to an Italian place to get a thin crust. Ichigo precut it to portions and placed the box on the coffee table along with the beer. Shinji raised his bottle. "I'll race ya." Ichigo grabbed one himself, counting down. "One, two, three." The bottles smacked together before they urgently was brought to their mouths. Chugging the content rapidly, the beer went down their throats. Shinji ended up being a bit faster than Ichigo and won. The bottle was slammed down on the table with a long burp after. "Man that was awesome. You loose!"

Ichigo finished his and tried to catch his breath. "Jeasus, I stood no chance."

Shinji smiled toothily, helping himself to more pizza. "Best pizza ever."

"That place is gonna be my new regular."

"Hey, shouldn't you tell Grimmjow the news?"

"Good idea." Then he had a reason to pick up the conversation again.

[Got my own place today. There will be a housewarming party later.]

[Awesome. Congratz! I'll be there.]

He's not a texting kind of a guy Ichigo sighed. "But he'll come to the party. You inviting Nnoitra?"

"Hell yes."

"What is your relationship?"

"Come again?"

"Is it fucking or fucking with feelings?"

Shinji shrugged. "I've never met anyone like him before."

"I don't think anyone have to be honest."

"Not like that, he has… everything."

"Everything?"

"I can't describe it. We just clicked from lay one."

"If you feel that, don't let him go no matter what."

"To our sappy hearts and sexy men!" Shinji raised his bottle.

"And to my apartment!" Ichigo raised his too.

A toast for love and the future.


TBC.