This ended up being another Alexa-centric chapter. Next one will have a little Tessa, but this particular arc turned out fairly Alexa-focused.
Enjoy!
Warnings: Assault and aftermath, parental abuse, distorted eating
Chapter 12
I'd had dreams like this. Nightmares, really. Running through a mostly abandoned place only to be trapped by somebody with enough venom in their heart to kill me. Dusk normally woke me up for them, but not before I was drenched in sweat and shaky for the rest of the day.
Only this time, I had nothing to wake up from.
Lightning around a core of fire warmed my hands. "The only selfish bitch here is you."
She'd gotten her sword. The crystals on the hilt glowed and to hold off flashbacks I reminded myself she needed those crystals to go against me. Part of my brain whispered I had Dusk which made it an unfair fight, but it quickly shut that down. The only unfair part was how she'd trained me to listen to her.
PTSD was still right under the surface, crumpling my chest and making the fire flicker. I took a step back only to freeze at more Nether Spirit presence, their black tar trying to wrap around my wrists and ankles to hold me in place. I sent out another flare, them scurrying back but making it I was nearly on my knees from exhaustion. My lack of food for the day was catching up to me. The two attacks I'd just done had taken their toll, leaving me with nothing left to fight.
Damn her.
A momentary lapse in watchfulness and I couldn't move my feet. In my quickly rising panic, that same black tar caught my wrists, holding my arms slightly away from my torso. It didn't burn, it never did, but instead dragged me down into the mental prison she'd built for me years ago. She'd praise me for showing passion so long as it wasn't anger, and did everything she could to quell that feeling. Faced with no way out and her sword raised, drawing energy from a Nether Spirit above my mother's head, I had no choice but to listen. To be quiet. To not be angry.
She stepped forward and leveled the blade down, length sparking with green-white glow and the point almost resting against my chest. "It's for your own good."
A shout pierced the air, sky-blue lightning cutting between us and dissolving the blackness before anything more than embers could reach me. My bonds snapped with the offshoots.
I backpeddled into an armoured chest, an arm wrapping around my shoulders and a sword slipping under hers to block the strike. Any panic-stricken attempt at pulling away was cut short by a tightened grip. Dusk unclenched and almost immediately retreated to burrow into my saviour.
'Sage…'
"Get away from her," he growled, attention not wavering from my mother. She practically leapt back at being confronted, sword falling to her side, like she'd not done anything wrong. His hold was firm and protective, keeping me up even though I was still halfway fallen backwards. His blade cut in front of my vision like a warning, daring her to cross him, and gave me something to focus on. It crackled with residual lightning from what I could only gather was his strike.
Even as Ryo, Cye, Kento— and out of the corner of my eye, Tessa and Rowen— circled in, fully armoured, all with the same fierce protectiveness as Sage, my mother held onto her facade of a hurt deer. I could only stare, hands around Sage's forearm like he was a security blanket, terrified of what she'd do next.
"Are you really going to let these people get between us?" she crooned. "I'm your mother!"
Anger flared. I didn't have to listen anymore. I got my feet back under me, using Sage's arm to pull myself up. At this point, I was pretty sure his hold was the only thing that kept me from launching at her. "You never were! Get out of my life!"
Just as I thought, the facade dropped, eyes ice cold and lips pressed together so tightly they looked like a knife edge. "Fine. See how everything falls apart when I'm not there to protect you!"
Before anybody else could leap at her, she vanished in a flash.
The bubble of exhilaration I'd felt collapsed so quickly I lost my footing again. Sage's sword echoed far too loudly as it landed on the floor; a moment later he gathered me up in his arms so I didn't have to stand on my own. I returned his hug on reflex, needing someone to hold onto.
'I've got you. It's okay.'
Too many emotions hit me at once and I could only nod to let him know I'd heard.
Tessa's touch was surprisingly firm on my shoulder. Before I knew it, she was the main person hugging me, Dawn trying to scout every part of Dusk out of palatable worry. 'Are you okay, sis?'
I nodded again and pulled back, eyes going to her shoulder and the light plating over her vital organs, the colour distribution the reverse of mine— deep emerald and pale lilac. I'd always associated her with that exact colour green.
Sage picked up his sword— his ridiculously long sword— at commotion outside. The edge was pointed towards the door, maintaining his protectiveness. There was the very distinct sound of sirens piercing the air. "We need to get out of here."
I looked up at him and noticed that, in his armour, his eyes were visible. I hated to admit part of me relaxed at being able to see both of them.
Tessa slapped a hand to her face, beginning to walk with the group. "Please tell me Dad and Liv didn't call the locals."
"Power down," I hissed without thinking. "If they did, I don't know how they found us. I never said where we were."
There was a moment of reluctance before everybody returned to street clothes, me wincing as some of the Nether Spirit energy Dusk hadn't had time to absorb hit my bare skin. I'd felt the burning sensation in subarmour, but it was much more intense now that Dusk couldn't physically protect me.
We ran out of there only to come face to face with two cops, startled by our presence and reaching for their holsters in defence. Immediately one of them barked out, "Freeze! Hands behind your head."
Not for the first time, I was glad I'd developed the ability to do what I was told without launching into a meltdown no matter how much I wanted to. Halo stayed close, reinforcing me so I didn't knuckle down.
Tessa, of course, knew just how to talk to cops. "You want the story in a nice little package? Here: I got kidnapped by the cultists that live in this compound, my friends came and got me, and all I want to do right now is get some food, sleep for twenty-four hours, then have a nice long day of doing absolutely nothing. No, I'm not going to give you a statement yet, and if you want to corroborate my story, just check the Virginia missing persons reports. Pretty sure Trooper Olivia Schildknecht was the filing officer. Yes, I'll spell that for you."
The officers slowly relaxed, me staying absolutely frozen until I noticed everybody else dropping their arms. The movement turned to hugging my elbows, holding myself together. Sage's hand went on my shoulder, Ryo coming up on my other side and putting one on my mid back.
Rowen stayed glued to Tessa as she talked to one of the officers, hands on her shoulders, her wearing his sweater. I heard an exasperated, "Yes that's my stepmother" in what otherwise looked like a heated conversation.
Finally the cop said, "Alright, miss. Don't leave town without coming by the precinct to give us a statement."
Now excused, she walked over to us. "No, I just spat out everything I knew you'd want before you could even ask, but I'd be dumb enough not to at least stay one night." She snorted and sighed, tipping her head against Rowen's shoulder in an obvious display of how tired she was.
Cye took one glance at them before jerking his head towards the van. "Get in the car. You two look about to collapse."
They didn't need that instruction repeated. I caught Tessa muttering to Rowen that she was starving, while they were still in hearing range.
My heart sank again, threatening to take my whole body with it. That simple statement brought back many comments I'd made, and I could just imagine how our mother had treated her, regarding food. She always did follow one too many pseudoscientific ideas about what 'should' be eaten and not. With me officially diagnosed, I feared I knew exactly what my sister had been given.
Ryo walked after them, his own protectiveness rising at the thought two people had gotten captured. He threw a glance over his shoulder when he noticed I wasn't following, about to say something along the lines of 'you coming?' before he froze, eyes widening. "You're hurt!"
Right. The stinging on my arms. That was still there.
Sage immediately turned me towards him with hands on my shoulders, scanning over my body. His gaze landed on the streaks of blood on each arm, the one on my right dripping from the corner of a diagonal slice across my forearm, the other running down from a few inches above my left elbow. He pulled my sleeve up nearly to my shoulder, revealing the length of the wound itself. Thankfully I had not worn a sweater, the outside heat more than enough.
'Don't tell me I bled on my shirt…'
'That's what you're worried about?'
He turned to look at Cye, only to be beaten to the punch by him already nearby with the medical kit. My eyes slipped shut on their own accord; Sage's grip tightened.
"Let's get you sitting down."
I nodded and went to the passenger side, him opening the door. He quietly directed me to sit on the edge of the seat facing him before carefully cleaning and bandaging the cuts. I barely flinched as the disinfectant worked, and I couldn't help but think of my self harming session the night before raising my pain tolerance for this.
I wished he wouldn't notice, but from the way Halo reached out to me, I knew he had.
"I'll drive," he said once he'd finished. He nodded at Cye. "You can keep looking at Tessa and Rowen in the back."
Cye looked like he was about to protest, pausing his vitals exam on Tessa to level the closest thing I'd seen to what could best be described as a stubborn glare at Sage. One glance back at his patients, collapsed against each other, and he relented.
It did not escape my attention that Tessa was in Rowen's lap, his sweater still around her shoulders.
I poked her telepathically. She very quietly replied, 'Tell you about it later; I'm bushed.'
I couldn't say I'd heard that term before, but I got her meaning loud and clear. I dropped the topic and managed a smirk at Sage. "So that's why the idiot got himself captured."
Sage matched my expression and shook his head. "Leave it to Rowen…"
He lightly tapped the outside of my knee as an indication to get in the car completely; once I had he closed the door and went to the driver's side. Everybody else climbed in the rest of the seats, two patients and one paramedic in the back where Cye had some hope of reaching. I'm sure that was made significantly more difficult by Rowen still refusing to let go of Tessa.
After taking both their pulses, Cye asked, voice just as soft as when he spoke to me, "When was the last time you ate?"
Her voice was far too quiet when she replied, "Uh… Breakfast yesterday?"
Sage startled me out of my drained, halfway to shut down state with, "Any requirements for where we go out to eat?"
"Smoothie," I replied, silently grateful he'd remembered my restrictions. "Or fries. Preferably both."
He looked back in the mirror. "Tessa. Heard that?"
She snapped out of it just as much as I had. "Huh?"
He relayed my requests and she said a few places. We stopped at the first one we found on the list, three of us going to grab a big enough table while the other four went to order. Part of me felt bad for letting the guys pay for more stuff, but they all assured me it was perfectly fine.
Sage placed the banana and strawberry smoothie in front of me before giving everyone else their orders, keeping his single violet eye on me as I took a few sips.
With Tessa back and me too exhausted to be anxious, I didn't feel like throwing up anymore. Halfway through my drink, I was even able to steal some of Sage's fries, sitting just a few inches away.
He chuckled. "Should I get you some?"
I blushed. "Maybe a small…"
He shook his head at me before getting up and standing in line.
Tessa gave me a telepathic poke almost identical to the one I gave her.
'What?'
She simply gave me the impression of a disbelieving Look. I couldn't for the life of me figure out why.
'I barely ate yesterday, myself,' I looked up in thanks when Sage returned. 'He's just happy I'm… okay again.'
Something was under her concern for me, but she kept it down and I didn't want to pry. My absolutely empty body seemed to absorb food like a sponge, and I had to admit my only thought was finally.
"We'll have to stay here, tonight," Tessa said after she was nearly done and somewhat more energetic than she'd been before eating. "The cops want statements and we haven't given any."
I groaned. "And I'm probably going to have to tell them about my kidnapping…"
"Yay international investigations," she muttered, every inch sarcastic.
I snorted. "I thought you wanted to get involved in intelligence."
Rowen perked up; Tessa simply rubbed her forehead. "In intelligence. Not the person intelligence is gathering from…"
Rowen continued his interest. "Intelligence like the FBI?"
She blushed and nodded. "First, though, the Air Force." It was nice to see her regular, impish grin again. "Then...the world."
At least I'd found a way to break the exhausted vacuum of silence around the table; the guys asked her more about her major, her future plans for the military. I was quite content to listen and not participate in the conversation, glad to have some semblance of normalcy, only for Ryo to casually ask, "What about you?"
I blinked. "Uh. About what?"
Kento laughed softly. "Anything. It's not like we've had much chance to talk since we got here."
I rubbed my nose. "I work from home in advertising, had the job a little over a year— yeah I know I graduated at nineteen I just started young. Took a few university courses in anthropology and linguistics before deciding that if I was going to spend my time studying, I might as well go to college and get something a little more fun than a straight up business degree. Picked advertising, which was close enough."
Kento narrowed his eyes. "Hey! I took a year of business."
I leveled him a raised eyebrow.
He blushed. "And I dropped it because yeah it's really boring. Figured I'd just work for my family at the restaurant we own."
I tilted my head to the side, expecting him to continue, only for Ryo to laugh softly. "Yeah, leave it to Kento to get even more involved in food."
"I'm sure business helped." I jerked a thumb towards Sage. "Kinda like how this guy is minoring in business for the dojo, I take?"
Kento nodded. Sage seemed almost quietly impressed that I remembered that little detail about him in side conversations on Skype. "I take it you remember I'm in sports education, too."
I nodded.
Ryo looked a little crestfallen. "I'm the only one of these guys who didn't go to university at all."
I shrugged. "Nothing wrong with that. I only have a three year college degree. Couldn't hack university for the life of me. Way too much reading and not enough doing."
Ryo chuckled. "Yeah, sounds about right… that was high school for me. Toughed it out thanks to these guys."
Cye snorted. "I don't think Rowen would've let you hear the end of if had you dropped out."
Kento jerked his thumb towards the aforementioned member of the group. "Yeah, Mr. I'll-get-my-PhD-eventually is pretty big on education."
"I'd think," I said, glancing over to him. Tessa was quietly curled up against his side, his arms still protectively around her. I recognized that distant look in Rowen's eyes, half paying attention and nodding along but not really listening. Tessa had hers closed.
I nudged Tessa's foot with mine, poking her to wakefulness. 'It's okay.'
She gave me a small, very tired smile. 'I know, it's just...'
'Surreal,' I filled in for her. 'I understand.'
I propped my chin on my hand and turned my attention back to Ryo, giving her privacy. "I'd take you to be a zookeeper, for how you have a giant tiger." I promptly rested my palm against my forehead. "And I don't mean the company— do you even have that store in Japan?"
From the blank stares I got, the answer was very much no.
"I don't think we even have them down here," Tessa threw in.
I rubbed my face. "Advertising problems. Canadian problems. I always think of companies if I so much reference a slogan or name— Anyway…!"
The table burst out into laughter at my expense. I promptly turned beet red, but I wasn't kidding anybody. I was grinning from ear to ear.
Everything went quiet after that as we finished, but in the ride to the hotel, the atmosphere grew tense between the guys. Tessa was too exhausted to say anything about it, but I wanted it to stop. I might've been tired and triggered and not wanting to deal with the world, but that meant I wanted the world to be peaceful and I was irritated enough to show as much.
When we pulled into the parking lot, Cye turned the engine off but nobody got out.
Ryo turned to address us. "How do you want to split up the rooms? We have two, but we're not sure what you girls want and who you'd rather share with."
Tessa, still half asleep, went, "Dibs on Rowen."
His smile towards her, I had to say, melted my heart.
"One of us should still be in there with you," Sage said, voice tinged by heat. "I c—"
"No," I snapped back. "You're exhausted, Sage. You drove us all the way there." I neglected to mention what happened the previous night, which made him lose just as much sleep— if not more— than I had.
Kento swallowed down a smirk and said something in Japanese, which got him the single most intense death glare I had ever seen Sage give out— except maybe the theoretical one he'd given my mom, but I hadn't been watching that one.
'What did he say?' I asked Tessa, especially since Sage hadn't translated like he normally did. He seemed too appalled at disrespect on multiple levels to do so.
The connection was foggy from sleep, but I heard her chuckle. 'Basically, 'buuuuuuurn'.'
Well, that was helpful.
"Okay," Ryo said. "I'll be with you three, then."
Sage stopped his death glare and relented with a small sigh. He said nothing verbally, but Halo reached out to me. 'You'll take Ativan tonight, I hope? I'm sorry for Kento— he can be insensitive, sometimes.'
I knew exactly what he was implying, and I hid my surprise he still hadn't translated with simple acknowledgement, choosing to drop the topic. 'Yes. I'll sleep.'
'Good.'
Now that the tension had passed, I was too tired to decipher anything else. We all climbed out of the car and went into our respective rooms, getting ready for bed despite the barely-started sunset. It had been a very long day.
I was incredibly thankful Rowen had packed so much of my stuff. It was this little constant presence in the past weeks, something familiar and routine and I could have comfort every night by reaching into a suitcase full of things I loved.
Rowen left the bathroom and his eyes immediately fell to Tessa asleep on our bed. He went over and gently stroked her hair, tucking it behind her ear and making sure she was soundly— peacefully— asleep.
'Rough night?' I asked softly.
He simply gave the impression of a nod.
Ryo indicated I could get ready for bed next and I gladly obliged. Thankfully I was used to hiding how little sleep I got. I tugged off my clothes the minute the door shut, catching my first glance of my skin since I'd scraped it.
I'd done a number on myself, that was for sure.
I twisted my spine to see the whole of my back. The corners of my nails had scraped still-present red lines, the areas around my shoulder blades looking like I had chicken pox from the number of scabs. My chest had a few raised marks that hadn't bled but had most certainly swollen, and one more pick would do it. I didn't want to look at my legs, but from experience I knew they would be even worse. Relapses ruined the skin there, first; cravings always used the ingrown hairs and pimples that developed when I wasn't taking care of myself.
And, of course, I had the two cuts for today, hidden by bandages; I wondered how they'd heal.
Sage's comments about kintsugi floated back into my consciousness. I rubbed my face to try and hold tears in, still not quite grasping the concept behind it— depression had thoroughly sunk in, leaving me unable to feel much— but so grateful at least somebody else believed it.
Maybe I should've asked him to heal them…
Before anybody could make a comment about how long I was taking, I left. Rowen was laying down on the bed, body turned to watch Tessa sleep as if to make sure she was still there. Ryo gave me a concerned glance on his way to the bathroom and I flashed him what I hoped was a stable smile, him not needing more worry. I saw that look in his eyes and knew what it meant.
With how it had eased upon being able to protect us, I was glad he'd ended up in our room.
'Cye?'
I hoped I didn't alarm him with the mental poke. If I had, his voice didn't betray it. 'Yes?'
'Do my bandages need to be changed?'
He mulled it over a few moments. 'How long do you plan on sleeping?'
'As long as I possibly can.'
He laughed. 'Probably a good idea, then. I'll be over in a few minutes.'
Cye showed up just as Ryo was getting out of the bathroom, a flare of concern in his eyes. "Something wrong?"
I shook my head. "I just need these changed."
"They'll probably need to be changed every twelve hours," Cye said, opening up the medical kit. "And with her wanting to sleep…"
The concern faded, replaced with amusement. "Good call."
Cye was about to start on my forearm, when he looked at my long sleeved pjs and the open neckline, revealing bare shoulders. "I'll need access to your bicep."
"I— oh." I felt the blush all the way up to my ears, now acutely aware of the three young adult men in the room. Changing around girls was one thing. Changing around presumably heterosexual guys was very much another. "I'll be right back."
As quickly as I could, I grabbed the shirt I'd been wearing earlier, with my bra for good measure, hopped into the bathroom, and came back out in something that was polite for mixed company and a medic looking me over. Cye made quick work of the first, most easy to access bandage.
Ryo hissed when he saw my forearm up close. "That looks nasty."
It was a slice that went diagonally across the outside of my forearm, deep enough the skin had separated and I felt just on the verge of needing stitches. I looked at it, once again having a minimal reaction to the disinfectant. At least it hadn't cut the vein resting just under my skin.
Rowen's voice was so quiet, I almost didn't hear it as he lay on the bed; his only movement was rubbing his chest. "Better her arm than Tessa's shoulder."
Cye paused. Ryo looked back at my sister still sound asleep. "Yeah… I'd say so."
"Does it hurt?" Cye asked, more concern in his voice than normal; now that I looked, there were the faintest traces of something in his eyes. Not quite haunted, but not quite alright, either. "If you need something for the pain…"
I shook my head. "I'm fine. I think Dusk is blocking it out." I let out a dry chuckle. "I've also danced on a sprained ankle that was sending shooting pain into my shin every time I landed a jump… and I did two or three in the number."
Now Rowen turned to look at me, jaw slack. Everyone was silent in reply to my declaration.
Cye cleared his throat. "Well. If you say so."
Ryo's eyebrows went up. "Damn. I mean, we've fought when we could barely stand, but we had our armours to help us out."
"You didn't even have armour," Rowen said, pushing himself up. "And you're alright?"
I looked down, trying not to shrink back under his scrutiny. My mouth was dry again. "Y-yeah…"
Ryo looked back to Rowen. "You felt it?"
Rowen kept staring at me. "Before she saved us, the blade was inches away from my chest, and—"
'Stay quiet,' Cye said to the three of us, voice sharp with concern. 'Tessa needs to sleep.'
That seemed to be enough for Rowen to calm down, although he stuck to the telepathic link. 'I could barely stand when that Nether Sword was inches away from my chest, Tessa cried out despite me trying to shield her, and both of us screamed when he sliced the air between us and temporarily severed the armour link.' He shook his head, unable to understand. 'And you're refusing pain medication after being cut.'
Ryo slowly looked me over. 'How...'
My jaw trembled, and had Cye not switched us to telepathy, I would've for being unable to speak. 'Don't ask. Just. Don't. Trust me, you do not want to know.'
Dusk swirled with a knot of emotion I didn't want to process, triggers I'd wrapped in duct tape, shoved in a safe, and thrown into the bottom of my consciousness threatening to be dredged up. Tessa stirred— her first sign of waking since she'd passed out— and I was able to slam the lid back down on the trapdoor that hid the basement of my skeleton closet. Ryo and Cye helped, their own worry for me making me want them to stop feeling that way. I got a padlock on the gate and shoved an encyclopedia set's worth of weight on top of the whole ensemble.
Rowen got up and went over to her sleeping form, sitting on the bed and stroking her hair until she settled back down, any residual tension gone from her body. The backs of his fingers brushed her cheek as a final gesture to let her know she was safe.
Cye gently took my bicep in his arms, encouraging my body to turn towards him so he had better access. As he unwrapped the bandage, I felt the need to say, "That was just a glancing blow. Shouldn't be as deep."
They didn't seem as put at ease by that as I'd hoped. Cye got to my skin, frown almost immediately forming. His grip tightened as he turned my arm over to see the whole thing. "Still pretty bad…"
I cast my eyes down, able to look but no longer wanting to. "Turned to run, he made a blind swing for me and got lucky, I guess." I laughed bitterly. "Told him to eff off."
"More like roared," Rowen replied. He shook his head, gaze settling back on Tessa, still relaxed. "Whatever you did in there… thank you. For saving us."
I continued looking down. "I can tell you what I did. Just not why. But I will only say this once."
'You can tell us all here,' Ryo said to the three of us. He kept an eye trained on me. 'If you're up to it.'
I sighed, opening up the connection to the other two. The tricks I pulled were too useful for me to stay quiet about them any longer than I had to. 'Hey, guys?' I waited until they both acknowledged before continuing. 'Wanna hear what I did to break the Nether Spirit influence?'
'Go for it,' Kento replied, almost relieved at hearing my voice.
Sage simply gave the impression of a nod, and I could've sworn I felt concern that I was still up, first of all, and that I was going to tell a story that, from my tone, would likely be emotionally charged. Part of me wondered if he hadn't sensed at least a little of what had just transpired.
Before I could say anything, Rowen piped up with thankfully limited context. 'She might as well have unleashed a Thunderbolt Cut while she was still in subarmour, frying the electrical and letting us escape without much incident.'
Silence so thick you could've heard a proverbial pin drop. It was only broken by Ryo saying, 'What the hell? How?'
I snorted. 'Resident fire and lightning witch, at your service.' At no response, I simply continued. 'Nether Spirits… are only tentatively tied to earth. I learned a few years ago that if you can find the weakest point— basically where it's connected to the person using their power— you can sever it with a single sharp snap. Of course, my mother's access to them is a little bigger than average, but still. Nether Spirits hate being named, and whenever they're summoned, they always have a name. Once you find it, they're powerless.'
'So if we run into them again,' Rowen began. 'If we can sense out their source, we can stop them?'
Kento sounded frustrated. 'That'd mean being able to access our armour when they're around...'
'Which is much easier said than done,' I replied. 'Dusk knows how, but I don't know how it knows.'
'Then how did Tessa use Dawn?' Rowen threw in. 'She was in it before we ever knew you were there.'
I rubbed my forehead. 'I don't know. Brightness? Influence from Dusk? She could've drawn from me before I came in.' My hand dropped away. 'I'm sure there's something there, but like hell I can find it right now.'
'Go to bed,' Sage said firmly. Sounded a little like payback for me telling him to rest. 'We'll probably need to talk to her to find out for sure.'
The connection dropped away, and despite Cye being finished bandaging my injuries, he still had a hand on my shoulder. For once, he didn't sound like the gentle medic I'd grown used to in these situations. He sounded like a deeply concerned friend. "We owe you, for that."
I snorted. "Kinda paid me back already by saving my life. Twice."
Ryo smiled wryly, not quite able to hide how much he hated they'd had to save me that often. "And we wouldn't have been able to without your abilities."
I shrugged and stayed quiet. I wanted to quip that growing up in a cult was good for something, but my next thought was how I shouldn't need that skill in the first place. I kept solid weight on that trapdoor.
Cye squeezed my shoulder and stood. "If you need anything else, let me know."
I nodded. "Thanks."
He shut the door behind him and I gathered up my pj top, changing back now that I didn't have to be as decent. I walked out and went to my bag, reaching for the familiar pill bottle tucked in the corner of my suitcase. I was going to need a refill by the end of summer at this rate.
Ryo's watchfulness didn't go unnoticed, and I didn't want to ask what he thought about medication. He looked so worried about me and I didn't know why exactly he was, nor did I want to know. I had a guess it related to the day I'd had, but my brain wouldn't leave the potentially personally-hurtful possibilities alone. I'd been resistant enough to medication, and talking about it just put me on the defensive. The pill hadn't started working yet, and with my current baseline level of anxiety, I just wanted to shove any more conversation away.
The two boys wished me goodnight. I told them not to go to bed too late before curling up against Tessa under the covers.
If the only thing making today good was getting her back, I was going to keep her close.
