Okay so an EXTRA long update to tide you guys over until I write the next chapter! There's fluff, drama, tears, shopping and of course more drama and fluff.
Hope you enjoy! Don't forget to use the motivate Holly button at the bottom of the screen! Oops, I mean review button! :P
Cragen rubbed a hand across his eyes. "We know whoever this freak is wasn't the killer because the cases are closed. This is doubly worrisome - seeing as how he somehow got a hold of those files, not all of those cases were public and the crime scene photos prove he's hacked into our system or has a contact here."
"We also know he's been tailing Liv. Some of the photos he used were newspaper clippings from years ago that could have been looked up in library archives, but some of them are recent – taken using a special telephoto lens from a distance."
Olivia kept both palms pressed to her belly protectively as she listened in horror to what Cragen was saying.
"And I can't imagine he'll be more sympathetic because I'm having a baby." Olivia murmured thoughtfully.
"TARU's also coming over to sweep for any bugs in the squad room in case that's how this guy is operating, so you're going home for the rest of the day." Cragen continued.
"Captain, I…" Olivia started to protest but Cragen raised a skeptical eyebrow, giving her a look before his gaze dipped down to her stomach.
"Go home, Liv. That's a direct order." His voice was stern but his eyes softened as he took her elbow to lead her out of his office. "Get started on the wedding invitations," he added more warmly.
"Take her home, Elliot."
"Really? The overprotective macho stuff is starting already? I'm not even the only woman here anymore. Pick on Rollins!" she joked exasperatedly as John handed Elliot her jacket which he draped around her shoulders before leading her out the door.
In the many years they'd worked together, Elliot and Olivia had questioned salespeople at probably every children's' and baby store in Manhattan. So going in as expectant parents was a completely new experience, and one Olivia would cherish every moment of.
A little less than two years ago, they'd gone into an upscale baby boutique and the owner had bustled over to them cheerily, commenting what a lovely couple they were and how Olivia wasn't even showing yet.
It had broken her heart then, thinking that the two things the woman had assumed about her and Elliot were the things she wanted most, and the things she knew she could never have.
But now, as they walked into a maternity store together, Elliot's ring was on her finger and their baby was filling her belly.
And for that moment, nothing had ever felt so perfect despite the dangerous uncertainties of the future.
The store they were walking into now happened to be one they had worked with to catch a rapist who preyed on new mothers.
As they walked in the door, the manager happened to be at the front cash and came over to them. "Detectives, lovely to see you again…I hope there isn't another maniac out there hurting our mothers."
The expertly coiffed woman shuddered and wrapped a finger nervously around her necklace chain as if she were expecting a predator to jump out from behind a display of maternity jeans.
"Ah, no," Olivia answered, a nervously wry smile quirking up her lips as she shyly put a hand to her belly.
"This time, we're just here in the regular capacity," Elliot added, squeezing Olivia's free hand reassuringly.
"Oh how wonderful! Congratulations, dear!" The older woman tittered brightly as she put a hand of her own against Olivia's abdomen.
"How far along are you, Detective Benson?"
"Twelve weeks with a little girl," Olivia answered back; the recent excitement from their appointment this morning keeping her from biting the woman's head off at the intrusion of her personal space.
"Oh how darling!" the woman gushed, stepping back and clasping her hands warmly as if the news of the other woman's pregnancy was the most wonderful thing she'd ever heard. "Well be sure to let me know if there's anything at all I can help you with, detectives."
2 hours and several hundred dollars later, Olivia had bought the majority of what would be her 'pregnancy wardrobe'. She'd been so enamoured of the stretch panel jeans that she wore one of the pairs out of the store, desperately grateful to get out of the pants she'd been wearing unzipped for the last two and a half weeks that simply refused to stretch any further to accommodate her growing belly.
Which speaking of, grumbled loudly as Olivia flopped down on the couch, too tired to even think of throwing something together for dinner.
Elliot set the multitude of shopping bags down in the front entryway and leaned over the back of the couch, laying a warm hand over her stomach as he kissed the tired smile she gave him.
"What does our baby feel like for dinner?"
She smiled again, loving the feel of his strong hands so gentle against their baby: "Mmm, how 'bout macaroni and cheese, except stick an entire slab of real cheddar in there."
Elliot chuckled, grabbing an afghan from the foot of the couch and covering her with it, brushing his lips against her forehead before he moved away towards the kitchen.
Olivia smiled to herself, snuggling further under the blanket as she flipped idly through an old Glamour magazine. "Eurgh, none of the actresses nominated at the SAG's for best actress in a TV drama are really right for it…"
(A/N: SAG's are on right now & I am STILL upset over the fact Mariska wasn't nominated this year! *grumbles under breath & takes it out passive aggressively in fanfiction*)
Being pregnant, having their baby inside her gave Olivia a vibrancy and a light that felt as though it shone out through every pore of her body; a happiness that filled her and swelled her heart as surely as the life inside her had swollen out her belly.
And despite the exhaustion and sickness that seemed to go hand in hand with this pregnancy, Elliot thought she'd never looked so beautiful as he watched her slowly and surely growing, more and more everyday; her body ripening around the life of her baby.
The only feeling stronger than that was the fear that someone out there wanted to hurt her. If he succeeded, there would be 3 lives lost for one.
Harming Olivia meant extinguishing the tiny precious life inside her as well as herself – and if anything happened to Olivia, Elliot knew it would be the end of him. As much as he had rebelled against depending on anyone for anything, without a doubt Olivia was everything to him.
She was the one he wanted to wake up to every morning, even if it was to her doubled over the toilet, going through the pain that was necessary to bring this sweet baby into the world.
She was the one he wanted to fight with, because she was the only thing worth fighting for.
She was the one Elliot wanted to help him raise his children, even the ones that were already grown, and the one Elliot wanted to be able to comfort and cry with when she was sweaty and tired and large in the throes of labour as she pushed their own child into the world.
Looking over his shoulder into the living room where he could see Olivia had dozed off, one hand still held over their baby, he knew he would do anything and everything in his power to make sure those things would happen.
The heart he had never thought himself able to give to anyone other than his children now belonged with Olivia, he knew with every ounce of his being. She was his heart, and his love and his life.
But when he came out of the kitchen again 40 minutes later with their dinner in hand, he saw she was awake, legs tucked to one side as she held the ultrasound picture, tracing over the petite profile.
"She's so tiny," Olivia wondered aloud, looking up at Elliot with tears brightening her wide eyes.
"She's so small and I already love her so much," she rubbed her bump worriedly as she spoke.
Elliot sat down beside her and captured her hand in both of his, rubbing it between his own hands to warm them up as Olivia shivered, lost in her dark thoughts.
"How could someone want to hurt something so pure and innocent? Whoever's after me won't think twice about the fact they'll be killing two people…I want this baby, El." Her head swung around again, her eyes pleading with him as if he had the choice or the power to bid the baby stick in her womb.
Setting down the steaming bowls of pasta on the coffee table in front of them, Elliot felt rather than saw her jerky intake of breath and instantly his hands flew to her swollen waist; feeling for himself the way her muscles clenched tightly, hurting her as her blood pressure rose.
"Ugh…"
"Sshh, Liv, try to relax. Breathe honey, nice and slow…good girl." One hand still supporting her waist at the small of her back, Elliot drew her down the couch a little further – gathering her shaking body into his arms so that she lay in a semi-reclined position cuddled to his chest.
Olivia forced herself to breathe again, slowly and rhythmically in the hope that the pain clutching her womb would begin to ease.
Helpless against the waves of fear and despair that were crashing down on her world, Olivia turned further into his strong embrace, needing desperately in that moment to feel safe and protected and loved. Letting herself take refuge in his arms, forgetting for a moment all the outside forces that sought to hurt her and her unborn child.
She closed her eyes as she evened her breathing to ease the cramps and tightness she felt in her belly.
The remnants of tears glossed the long black fringe of lashes that only served to accentuate the ghostlike paleness of her usually glowing honey tinted skin.
Elliot brushed his lips against her forehead before burying his face in the soft dark masses of her hair that tumbled haphazardly around her shoulders, inhaling the unique scent that was all Olivia.
He rocked her back and forth, crooning meaningless words of comfort and soothing his hands over her back and shoulders.
After a while, Olivia stopped shivering. And a little while after that she gingerly sat upright, a cautious hand still pressed to the hard round swell.
Keeping Olivia in his arms, Elliot leaned over to bring their forgotten dinner over which thankfully was still hot and set it down in her lap, turning the spoon so it faced her.
Even if she trusted herself to speak, there was no need for words as Olivia rested her head against Elliot's shoulder, forcing herself to swallow only for the sake of her baby.
But she couldn't get through more than half of the small bowl before she set it aside, the guilt for not wanting what Elliot had made for her on request adding another knot to her already sore stomach.
"Try and eat a little more, honey. You can't just eat enough for the baby; we've got to start putting some weight on you as well, Liv. We have to do everything we can to keep you strong…"
"I don't feel strong," Olivia choked out somewhere between a sob and a laugh. "And it scares the hell out of me, Elliot. I've gotten used to having to be strong and now, if I lean too hard on you I…"
"You're scared you'll fall even harder," Elliot finished for her grimly.
"Olivia Benson I promise you, I give you my word that I will never let you fall. So long as I'm on this earth I want to be with you," he swore fervently, lifting her chin up so that her eyes met his.
He fingered the engagement ring on Olivia's left hand, sliding it off for a second. Olivia's eyes filled with hurt, but before she had time to say anything Elliot flipped the ring over, pointing out a detail she had managed to miss this morning when she put it back on her hand when they announced the news of their engagement.
Catching in the soft light of the lamp, Olivia's eyes focused on the inscription on the crossed band of the ring that read 'Semper fi' just as the pendant did around her neck.
"Always, Olivia."
Awww, so whaddya think? Also, let me know what you think about what/who/how/why this guy is after Liv & what his plans are for her! REVIEW!
