Chapter Twelve
As soon as I get home, I hang my coat up on the rack, kick my boots off my feet, stuff the last of my rice ball in my mouth, and dash straight up the stairs. I have got to see what's in the notebook. It's the only easy way to see how Len truly feels about me. If it's anything strong, it'll for sure be in the notebook!
Suddenly, I feel a pang in my heart as I realize how truly wrong this whole thing is. I sit on my bed with the closed notebook sitting on my lap. I feel like Teto's pink notebook- torn in two halves.
I clench my teeth and turn to the first page. An amazing sketch of Rin fills up the entire page. In the drawing, Rin is sitting on the edge of a rocky cliff, facing the warm gradient sunset. She is wearing a washed-out daffodil colored dress, and her beautiful golden hair flies forward in front of her face. Her eyes are closed, and her arm is reaching out to something- something unreachable that doesn't show on the page. In the bottom right corner is Len's signature- a beautiful calligraphy that dances on the page.
I am mesmerized by the beauty of the drawing. I can't look away- it's even more capturing than Len's own sea-green eyes. As I turn the next page, it's blank. I keep turning pages, until I get to one with a pencil sketch of Miku. It seems different from the first drawing of Len. Hearts surround Miku's posed figure, and the word "diva" is written at the top in roughly shaded bubble letters. I squint at the picture. In the corner is written by Miku in cursive. I smile to myself.
On the next page is a song written in illegible handwriting. It differs so greatly from Len's beautiful signature. I can only make out the words "know for now", "not alone", and "heart so big". The rest of it is a bunch of spidery writing.
On the next page is a stick-figure drawing of Miku. Looks like I'm not the only one who's touched Len's journal. I flip the page. On this one is a sepia photograph of Rin and Len together. I smile. Len stands on the left side of Rin, smiling widely at her. He has his arms wrapped around her. Rin hugs him, kissing him on the cheek with her eyes closed. I giggle at her adorability.
I turn the page. On the next one is another picture of Rin, with her hand over the camera lens. She's smiling anyway. As if it's contagious, I smile as well. In no time, I find myself blinking a ton, and my vision gets blurry.
Suddenly, my phone starts buzzing in my pocket. I fumble with it, dropping the notebook. When I get a hold of it, I press the green button and bring it to my ear. "Hello?" I ask lightly, clearing my throat.
"Hey, Madoka? Is there a chance you would have Len's notebook?" says a voice. I know it could only belong to Rin. My face runs cold. "He says he was talking with you in the hall, and that's the last time he saw it," Rin explains. I widen my eyes. I still haven't seen the whole thing. My memory suddenly flashes back to a couple minutes ago, when I realized how wrong this whole thing was. I bite my lip indecisively.
"Len's notebook?" I stall.
"Yeah, it's bright yellow. Have you seen it? He's kind of freaking out right now," Rin says, a concerned edge to her voice.
"Um," I stutter. He's kind of freaking out right now. I bite my lip harder. Freaking out. I stare at the ceiling. He wants it back! "I uh, I actually have it with me right now…" I say. "It's in my bag," I add, hoping I didn't give away the fact that I was recently looking through it.
"It is?" Rin asks, sighing of relief. I feel like I did the right thing.
"Yeah."
"Hold on, Len wants to talk to you," Rin says, pulling the phone away from her mouth. I can hear Len grabbing it.
"You have it?" Len asks. I sigh.
"Uh-huh. It's in my bag right now," I answer. I can hear Len sigh of relief as well.
"Is there a chance you could find me and give it back tomorrow?" he asks.
"Of course," I sigh.
"Oh, and um, don't look through it. It's kind of personal," he adds. I look down and close my eyes.
"Personal?" I ask. I mentally slap myself. Out of all the things I could have said right there, that was what came out of my mouth?
"Yeah. Um, I'm just glad you have it, and not like, Neru or anything," Len says awkwardly.
"Why not Neru?" I ask.
"Was that a joke?"
"I dunno."
"I've gotta go, um… text me?" Len asks awkwardly. I smile and shake my head.
"Of course, Len. See you tomorrow!" I hold back a laugh. As soon as I hang up, I burst into laughter. I have no idea why I'm so… bipolar around him. I sigh, only to keep laughing again.
