Fabulous Revenge

"Are we ready?" House whispered.

"Yes, you look even more ravaged than you did this morning." muttered Cameron.

"They're coming!" Cuddy said in a squeal of a whisper.

"Okay Jimmy, all those years of faking it with the wives has been leading up to this very moment." House said quietly, talking as if he were a general preparing his troops for battle.

"Great," he muttered darkly, rolling his eyes.


"What did House say he wanted me for?" Chase said nervously, wondering if the 6ft-plus, cane wielding, cantankerous doctor had caught wind of what had happened in the lobby.

"He didn't say." Foreman said blankly, still trying to remove images of Cameron and House making out from his mind.

"Does he know about...?" Chase said glancing anxiously around the conference room as he sat at the table, the seat furthest away from House's office.

"I don't know."

At which point a low moan permeated the entire diagnostics department, emanated from House's darkened office.

"What the hell was that?" Chase whispered, fear visible in his wide eyes as he stared at the office door afraid of what might emerge.

"I don't get paid enough for this." Foreman said to himself slumping forward against the desk and wrapping his arms around his head.

"Oh, James! Oh!" sounded a masculine moan.

Another deep guttural moan replied.

Then silence.

"Oh my god!" Chase said completely in shock.

Foreman muttered something but it was completely muffled by the combined weight of his head and arms that pushed his face against the glass.

"I was right!" Chase said in an excited whisper practically bouncing out of his chair. "They are so doing it."

Foreman grumbled something in reply but once again it was lost.

The door between office and conference room opened.

"Greg you have to be more quiet next time or someone will..." Wilson stopped mid-sentence as his eyes fell on a smug looking Chase and Foreman trying to obtain the foetal position.

Wilson's tie was loose around his neck, the top three buttons of his shirt undone revealing a fresh hickey on his collar bone.

House pressed against Wilson's back, his scruffy chin coming to rest on Wilson's shoulder. Wilson had to physically restrain himself from jumping away from the hand that came to rest on his left hip.

"I looks like our secrets out, honey." House said quietly with a wide grin, before nuzzling slightly at Wilson's exposed neck.

Wilson closed his eyes and wished him away but it only succeeded in making it look as though he took pleasure in the touch. He only opened his eyes when he felt the coolness of the room return to his skin as House moved further into the conference room.

"I knew it!" Chase said confidently, just as House reached the small sink in the room.

"Coffee, James?"

"Please." Wilson replied exhaustedly as he slumped into a chair at the conference table.

"And of course you knew, Chase." House said quietly as he poured coffee into his red mug, taking a sip to make sure it was right before moving to the table and setting it before Wilson's rumpled form.

"What do you mean of course I knew?" Chase asked, a frown creasing his brow.

"We know you're gay Chase." House said quietly standing close to his seated 'lover'.

Chase's eyes grew wide, "I'm...I'm not..."

"Robert you can't fool us, I know you check me out when you think I'm not looking." House continued.

"I..."

"And the hair." House sighed admiringly, his gaze moving to the young Aussie's well styled locks, "It's fabulous! I have quite a thing for gorgeous hair." He said, his hand moving through Wilson's ruffled hair.

"Greg, it's not gorgeous when you start running you hands through it." Warning House but doing nothing about the hand on his head.

This was House's show after all.

"It is to me." House said a low seductive tone, his hand still moving through Wilson's hair, then turning back to Chase "We've actually talked about this quite a bit."

"Huh?" Chase asked.

"Robert you have gorgeous hair, sexy eyes, a cute ass and we've seen you check both of us out." House said a lecherous grin spreading across his face. "Fancy a threesome?"

At which point Chase yelped and stood before promptly passing out.

House instantly pulled his hand back to him as if it had been scalded and wiped his hand on his shirt muttering, "What the hell do you put in your hair?"

"What happened?" Cameron said emerging from House's office, Cuddy following close behind.

"He fainted that's what happened." Wilson said looking accusingly at House.

"The plan went better than I thought it would." House said, going over to Cameron's desk and wheeling the swivel chair in the direction of the prone Australian.

"What is the chair for?" Cuddy asked kneeling next to Chase's still form, checking him over.

"Bonus round." House said with a manic grin.