Author's Notes: Hello everyone! ::ducks objects hurled by random people:: Eh heh… So, it's been… more than five months!! ::sweatdrops:: What happened to this bum of an author? Did she get run over by a truck? Abducted by aliens?? Fall off the face of the Earth?! XD Well a lot's happened. I started Uni, my brother got married and I got caught up in Idol fever (we love you Sly, rock on! ::squee::). Ah, but enough about me, I'm sure you all wanna push me off the screen now, so… On with the show and Merry Christmas!!

A quick re-cap! When we left, Cloud was on the verge of losing it, there was the arrival of a mystery girl and all is not as it seems with our three silver-haired pretty boys.

Thoughts are in '…' and spoken dialogue is in "…".

Disclaimer: Square Enix owns Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children, its predecessor and all their characters.

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Chapter 11: Knocking on Heaven's Door

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Little Fly,

Thy summer's play

My thoughtless hand

Has brushed away.

-

The icy winds lashed out at his bare skin as he scaled the face of Gaia's cliff. Back then, he would have given in to the biting cold, the wretched pain that ate at his fingertips… But now, they no longer mattered. All he wanted was to make it through this climb, to find some answers, make some sense out of all this madness. Yet, was that what he really wanted? He no longer knew the answer to that question, only that his entire being had turned numb. Life itself had felt that way for the longest time.

-

Am not I

A fly like thee?

Or art not thou

A man like me?

-

She climbed the front steps cautiously, afraid of what awaited her beyond that door. She adjusted her headband, running her fingers through her fringe in an attempt to neaten it. The girl clenched her fist and leant forward, her heart racing. She flicked her wrist, but spun round on her heels at the last moment, just as her knuckles were about to make contact with the wood.

'Gawd, what is wrong with me?' She chided herself mentally. The teenager squatted down, for some reason that position always seemed to calm her nerves. Perhaps it was the security she felt whenever she thought of the one who had introduced that posture to her. Then again, he had a way of making everyone feel safe, whether he wanted to admit it or not.

'C'mon… After all that's happened these past two years, this should be a piece of cake.' She coaxed herself mentally, and it seemed to be working.

She took one last deep breath, hopped up and faced the door.

'Here goes…' She braced herself. Shutting her eyes, she raised her still-clenched fist and gave the door four quick raps.

-

For I dance

And drink, and sing,

Till some blind hand

Shall brush my wing.

-

"So… You've finally made it." The youngest of the three approached Cloud, his twin-bladed katana by his side. He stopped, motioning absently for the other two to stand their ground.

"I don't believe I've formally introduced myself. My name is Kadaj…"

"Let's get this over with." Cloud spat out, cutting him in mid-sentence.

He was slightly breathless from the long climb and moreover, he was tired. Tired of this so-called life. What was he? A mere tool of Fate? Was he cursed to forever walk this lonely road, to save the Planet whenever it was in dire need? The Planet's mercenary for hire, was that it?

What if he no longer wanted the job? What if the Planet was never meant to be saved? What if he no longer bloody cared?

Cloud Strife raised his sword, adopting his battle stance. Kadaj smirked, almost amused at his actions. Without the slightest hesitation, Cloud charged forward, his opponent doing the same.

The crater ground beneath them seemed to cry out in terror as the two tore through the land, the never-healing wound perhaps recalling the previous battle fought on its soil, the fear forever etched in its sands. The swirling Lifestream glowed with increasing intensity, its rapid spirals turning the unclaimed landscape into a swirling death trap.

Cloud readied his sword, unleashing a thunderous battle cry as the two human meteorites approached the end of their collision course. This was it, the be all and end all, yet fear was the last thing on his mind.

What more could he lose, if nothing mattered at all?

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The door inched open and she stood there with bated breath, fearing what was about to greet her.

'Please don't hate me, please don't hate me…' She pleaded inwardly.

A petite girl stepped forward, her hair braided and tied back by a ribbon. 'My, has she grown.' The thought flashed across the teenager's mind, bringing a small smile to her lips. The six-year-old's hazel eyes met hers and she immediately threw her arms round the youth's waist, delighted at what had arrived at her door. "Yuffie!!!"

She couldn't help but laugh, be it at the little girl's enthusiasm or her own uncalled for insecurities. "Marlene! It's nice to see you, too."

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Their swords clashed, generating sparks as the two blades grated against each other, their wielders locked in combat. "Haven't you noticed?" Kadaj questioned.

"What are you talking about?" Cloud shot back through gritted teeth.

"The girl, Cloud. The girl." Kadaj bore his gaze into Cloud's, his pupils narrowing into slits. They resembled a serpent's eyes as it's poised, ready to attack.

'Cera…' Her name whispered in his reeling mind.

"She's a product of Geostigma and your memories. Your wants and desires." Kadaj grinned as Cloud took a step back, an expression of both shock and horror carved on his face.

Kadaj seized the opportunity and swung his sword hard. The blonde blocked the attack, but the attacker had achieved his goal of knocking Cloud off his feet. He leant forward, pointing at Cloud. "We're different from everyone else, Cloud. You and I. Mother's cells give us the power to control Geostigma, to manipulate it at our will."

He began pacing around, gesticulating wildly. "And of course, there are the dreams. Or are they really just that, dreams? I think you should know the answer better than I do."

Cloud dropped his jaw slightly. How did he know? Could it be? Was she really…?

"Geostigma lets us see what we want to see." Kadaj added, a sly smile crossing his face when he saw Cloud's stunned reaction.

Without warning, Kadaj let out a cry and plunged his sword into the ground, the impact sending minor shockwaves through the area. His eyes took on a strange look and he appeared deranged, or perhaps delirious. "Who are they to tell us what is real, and what is not?"

"You can save her, Cloud. Fight me, and you'll be killing her all over again. You'll be killing Cera as well."

"Together, we can build a world based on dreams. Our dreams. No longer ostracized, no longer alone. A perfect world for everyone like us. Join us, Brother." Kadaj stretched out his hand, white energy swirling round his palm. It beckoned like a breathless whisper, daring him to make the next move.

He could barely believe his ears. What was he supposed to think, was he even supposed to think? He could change this godforsaken world, have her back. And what if he chose the other path? Then, he would lose everything.

This could work, it had to. In the silver-haired youth's gloved hand lay the promise of a new life, a free life. He reached out, now filled with a newfound determination. Reached for his unfulfilled dreams, his reconstructed memories, his fabricated future. He could finally set things right, set everything right. Him and them, with the world at their feet.

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'So, this what they've been doing.' Yuffie mused as Marlene gave her a private tour of the orphanage.

On the walls hung paintings of places they had been to on their travels, though the majority was of Midgar. The streets, the town square, the Church. What stood out, though, were those that the children had done. So simple, yet they cried out to her more than the faces carved into the Da Chou mountains that watched over Wutai. She stopped at the caricature of Cloud. Even here he looked upset.

"Marlene, did you draw this?" She asked the girl that clung onto her hand.

"No, Cera did." The child replied.

"Cera?" Yuffie questioned, wanting to know more.

"Yup!" Marlene bounded over to the staircase and called for the girl.

Within seconds, a small head peeked out over the banister. "Yes?!"

The chestnut curls that fell over her face, that smile that made her seem like she had not a care in the world... Yuffie couldn't believe her eyes. 'No way…'

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If thought is life

And strength and breath

And the want

Of thought is death;

-

Chaos landed. The winged beast descended from the skies, transforming back into its true self.

"Cloud!" The cloaked man bellowed. "What are you doing? Look at yourself."

"Yes, look at me. Isn't this perfect, Vincent?" Cloud asked, his palms faced up with outstretched fingers.

Vincent raised his gun and removed its safety catch. "Cloud! Will you just look at yourself?"

"Trust me, I, above everyone else, know how you feel." The man continued, pain flashing across his blood red eyes.

"Trust. Ha! Trust!? If I've learnt anything, it's that no one can be trusted. Not even yourself." Cloud replied incredulously to the man with his gun pointed at him.

"Cloud! Listen to yourself. You do not want to do this. I've been down this road before and it leads nowhere, Cloud. Only darkness and despair." Vincent cautioned, his gaze slowly adverting to the ground.

"And what have you done about it? Nothing!" Cloud shot back.

Vincent raised his eyes back to Cloud, nodding slightly. "That's right, Cloud. Nothing."

"That's where we're different, Vincent. Today, I take my life into my own hands. I, Cloud Strife, am no one's puppet." He proclaimed and continued, "Not the Planet's, not Fate's, not Sephiroth's. No one's!"

Vincent shook his head sadly and took a step forward. "You're wrong, Cloud. Just like I was. We are all Jenova's puppets. That is something we cannot change."

"Look at what you're doing. You're helping her, Cloud. Can you not see? She's laughing. Laughing at all of us." Vincent cast his clawed hand to the side, be it out of anger or disgust.

"I am no longer the man I once was." He stated, lowering his gun.

"That's where we're different. I cannot change my past, but I can make sure this never happens to anyone else. Don't let your despair blind you, it will only lead to madness. Then, you will be no different from them." Vincent shot Kadaj a look, only to be greeted by eyes as cold as his own.

"Stop this, Cloud. If only you could see yourself. If only she were here to tell you what I just said. What would she think of you, if she could see you like this…" Vincent trailed off, his mind wandering to thoughts of his own past.

"Pathetic." Kadaj spat out.

Vincent was right. What had he done? That's right, signed a deal with the Devil. He'd betrayed them all, he'd betrayed her. Now she would never love him. Could she have ever loved him? If she were here now, what would she say? Or would she be like everyone else, and simply walk away? No, he couldn't take that…

'I can never meet her, not like this.' Cloud dug his fingers into the back of his head, screaming.

What had he done?

"Why? WHY?!! Why are you doing this?" Cloud let out a cry, unsure of who exactly he was questioning.

Vincent stretched his hand out slightly. "I'm helping you, Cloud. Don't make the same mistake as what I once did. The darkness will only eat away at your soul. The answers do not lie there, Cloud. Take it from someone who found out too late."

"What am I supposed to do?!" Cloud asked, begging for some form of answer, for someone to tell him which road to take.

Vincent withdrew his hand, letting it hang by his side. "That, is up to you."

"Enough of this." With the signal of Kadaj's hand, a bullet whizzed by from the side and pierced the cloaked man's skull. Cloud spun round as Vincent fell, only to see Yazoo with his gun aimed, its barrel still smoking. The man's eyes were expressionless, his head tilted to one side. Was that all he was? Nothing more than a killing-machine?

Cold steel sliced through him, causing Cloud's eyes to shoot open, two blue orbs staring off to some distant place. It was this moment, this gap of time before his vision left him, his body dangling off the blade of a sword, that he finally saw the world clearly. It was true, then. He would always be nothing more than a pawn. A puppet.

Kadaj pulled his sword out of Cloud's limp body, ridding it of the blood with one quick swipe. He turned to Loz as Cloud collapsed to the ground.

"Dispose of him." The leader commanded.

Loz nodded silently and tossed Cloud over his shoulder effortlessly. He strode over to the crater, dumping the body into the churning green depths. The man stared on for some time, until it had sunk completely out of sight, before finally walking away.

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Drifting, falling. Everything around him was slipping away, engulfed in darkness. Yet, there was a quiet comfort, this feeling of being embraced by nothingness. A feeling he had grown to love. All this time, had he been fighting for nothing? What had been the point of it all? At the end of all this madness, was nothingness all that awaited him?

Then why could he hear someone… calling his name?

-

Then am I

A happy fly,

If I live,

Or if I die.

The Fly -- William Blake

-

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Well, I guess I took the liberties of keeping this AU. ::sheepish grin:: That's it, everyone's gone, the bad guys took over the world, end of story! LOL, j/k. Thank you all for being so patient with me and for all the kind reviews! I love every one of them, thank you from the bottom of my heart! Oh I just went for a cosplay convention the other day. A girl cosplayed Cloud from Kingdom Hearts and she was so awesome! Sorry if this sounds shoujo-ai but I really should have gotten her number! She was so cool, even went down on one knee holding our flowers in the pictures! And that was not all she did! ::gush:: You should have seen us reduce a bunch of squealing fangirls! KH Cloudie, where are you?! Call us, we love you!! XD LOL, I think I need some tranquilizers. Till the next chapter, which should come soon! Oh and I'm telling the truth this time. XD

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i won't tell: Hello! It's been so long! Did you ever write that fic?! You said you were listening to a song while you were reading the last chapter. "Come here… why sit in silence… we love each other…" What's it's title? I really want to hear it! It sounds so lovely. Well, I'm glad I almost made you cry! Lol, it's nice to know! I for one am an utter weepy! Guess I'll need a box of tissue ready when I watch AC!

Mitsuki Hoshiko: Reno and Rude! I love how they look in AC, and their voice actors are amazing! Well, you got your trailer! And the audio for the 20min of footage, if you were fast enough to snag it! I so fell in love with Reno's trash-talking!

Shady Spirit: Shady-poo!!! ::lmao:: I hope you're feeling better! You get sick too often these days! ::casts Heal:: You take care, and thankies for reviewing and helping with the fanart!

dogcollar: Hulloe girly! Thank you for so many reviews! ::glomps:: Yup, I played Kingdom Hearts! So loved it! Sora and Kairi were like chibi Cloud and Aeris! Hand-reach scene, the it's-too-dangerous speech, Sora even looked like Cloud on the cave wall! Your birthday is right after mine! I've had two friends with the same birthday as you! Too cool! I don't know about the Cid issue, you tell me! LOL! Oh yes, yup, "Together Forever, Eternally Apart"! I loved that fic, it made me cry! I tend to drop little references to other fics in my chapters sometimes just for fun! YES, I love the SHM! They're so pretty to boot! ::lmao:: Aeris, Aeris, what shall I do with her… I don't know about the scans. They're trying to hint at something, I think… but what. ::sigh:: All this waiting and guessing is killing me! Okay, till next time!

XenoMark: Thanks for the review! Aww… ::huggles:: I had to do that, it'd have been hard to pit her up against Kadaj and Co. Unless you want Tifa beaten to a pulp, which I doubt. With no weapons, she wouldn't stand a chance! Just look at that battle with Loz! Anyway, I decided to keep this fic completely Cleris, so there's no wondering and guessing who Cloud's going to be paired with. Square Enix does that enough as it is already!

Strife711: Well, now you know who the girl at the gates was! Not Aeris, wish it was her, though! LOL, I'm talking as if I'm not the one writing this. ::lmao:: Hey, you go update "Looking For Your Light"! I wanna read! ::big grin::

Hikaru-009: Well, I can't guarantee how happy Cloud will be after that, but he won't be as sad as he is now… I hope! ::wishes him all the best:: LOL! Yep, I didn't like the pictures of him and Tifa in the Church, too. They made me feel sad… But hey, what do you expect Cloud to do. He had to help her, she's his friend, at the very least. I don't mind the scene, but what I do mind is them using it on some of their pamphlets. Well I guess the problem is that there isn't a decent picture and him and Aeris together that the organisers can publish.

Beneath The Remains: Thank you so much! Well, Yuffie is here! ::squee:: Reeve, what shall I do with Reeve?! ::wails:: If only I'd gone with my gut on the WCM!

Percy: Hihi!! Thank you!! ::huggles:: So sorry I took so long! Hopefully I finish this before AC comes out! LOL!!

Magenta2: Yes! The CharaPhone model was so kawaii! I'd kill for that phone!! ::wub:: I wish they had given us that close-up shot of Cloud's face in the flower field too, though! He looked gorgeous there! Must be the bright lights, could finally see the colour in his face!

Shikhee: Thank you so much for your comments! LOL, they're too flattering! Yup, Singapore, born and raised! English is our first language! The problem is, people don't know where we are! They think we're in China or something. I loved your insights on the role of the children. I have the same views too! Also, Aeris was close to children as well. Even after her death, children could see her in the Church and even tended to her flowers. Oh, Fenrir is official! I was pretty impressed, and it's not the only name used in AC with a hidden meaning! The whole idea of being bound by a ribbon… Well, if Square Enix sticks with it, there's a high chance of Cloud dying at Kadaj's hand… Though I think I'd be happy if that happened. It'll be the perfect ending for Cloud to eventually die after everything. He'd be immortalised forever as the tragic hero of Final Fantasy, and nothing will ever change that. I'd cry, but I'd be happy.

li-tzu: Hey you! LOL! Impossible to summarise, eh? Well, I'll try to read it after I finish all the stuff I've been trying to do! Thanks so much for the review!

avalon-chan: Thank you so much for the glowing review! ::hugs:: No need to beg! I really should have updated sooner but I'm an incurable slacker who loves the TV very much. XD You're from ACF, yes?