Disclaimer: I do not own Hellsing.
Woah, so has anyone else noticed that my chapters are getting longer? I just haven't been reaching stopping points quickly enough to end them- not that you guys are complaining of course! XD So, lets see what happens next with Seras and Vanya... no Draccy or Alu-chan in this chapter (sighs sadly), but I promise they'll be back tomorrow! I'm glad everyone liked the daiv. I'm very proud of him... and I dub him with a name in this chapter, even though he's sleeping at the time... You'll see! Just read! This really is a Vanya-Seras talking chapter, but it's still good, and there's an interesting twist at the end. R&R!
"Seras?"
"Yes?"
"Why did you try to help us, even if it meant going against your Master's will? At first, I thought you were just a good person, but as time went on, I had my doubts."
Seras glanced up, opening a tired eye. She was leaning against the wall of an abandoned barn that they had taken shelter in during the day. "Vampires are never good," she said quietly. "I don't think it's in our nature. We can certainly have redeeming qualities, but how could you call anything that lives at the expense of others good?"
Vanya smiled slightly. "Are you avoiding the question?"
"Intuitive, aren't you?" Seras muttured, closing her eyes again. "Perhaps... there was something more to my actions."
"Perhaps?" Vanya asked with a dry laugh. "This doesn't seem like much of a "perhaps" situation."
"Perhaps not."
Vanya rolled his eyes, as Seras smirked slightly.
"Relax," she said. "It's just hard for you to understand. You know nothing about the ways of a vampire."
"And you do?" Vanya asked skeptically. "From what I can tell, you're like a baby vampire."
Seras opened her eyes and glared at him. "I get enough of that talk from my master; I don't need it from you! Keep in mind how easy it would be to kill you!"
"But you won't do that," Vanya said knowingly.
"What makes you think that?" she replied, an evil gleam in her eyes.
"Because it would make your master think he's won. Isn't that why you helped us? Isn't this all just a game to you?"
Seras shifted uncomfortably; Vanya was far too good at reading people. "Tell me," she said slowly. "What would you do if the one person that mattered most in the world thought of you as nothing?"
"I'd make them see that I wasn't," Vanya replied, looking curiously at her.
She smiled at him. "Exactly," she said. "But how do you prove your worth to the most powerful vampire in the world? It would have to be something really big, really difficult, really... infuriating."
"So you wanted to make him mad?" Vanya said in disbelief.
She nodded. "It's a sign that I'm affecting him. A good one. Master only respects people who can keep up with him, or maybe even challenge him. Someday, when I'm stronger, I will challenge him, and if I win, it means I'm worthy of his notice. I don't like being the burden."
Vanya smiled. "So he must be really mad right now, don't you think? You succeeded. You outdid him."
"Partially," Seras shrugged, thinking of Sci. It was really a shame, that he had died like that... "Maybe this is why Master tells me not to get attached to humans."
"Yes," Vanya muttered, flicking a piece of hay between his fingers thoughtfully. "So... it was all for him?"
Seras looked at him curiously before grasping his meaning. "Oh, well, not completely... I sort of wanted to see you two live- Sci, because he was so determined, and you, because you were so unafraid."
Vanya looked up at her and said, "We won't forget Sci, alright? And since you're immortal, his memory will be, too."
Seras smiled sadly. "It's a strange name... Sci..."
"It's short for Scipio," Vanya replied, tossing the piece of hay to the ground. "According to his dad, they're descended directly from the Roman family Scipiones- they once held a lot of power. His dad was always a little bit obsessed with history. That's how Sci got the name."
"Scipio..." she murmured to herself. "I like that." Her eyes glided to the massive form of her sleeping daiv. "Yes," she said, smiling. "That's perfect."
Vanya blinked. "You're going to name that thing after Sci?" he asked, shocked. "Even though that was what killed him?"
Seras shook her head. "My daiv didn't kill him- it was my own stupidity and recklessness that brought about his death. That's why I'm going to call the daiv Scipio, so I'll never forget what rash, idiotic actions can do."
She looked over at Vanya, watching with horror as a single tear ran down his cheek.
"Vanya, I'm sorry! I didn't mean-,"
"No," Vanya said quickly. "It's not you, it's just... I guess, it's finally sinking in. Jed's gone. Sci's gone. I'm alone, aren't I? They were my best friends; my family died long before I met you. Maybe that's why it was so easy to give up back in those dungeons, to be such a coward and to leave Sci alone... I can't believe I was such a jerk to him!"
"It's understandable- death by a vampire is never pleasant," Seras said soothingly.
"How long have you been a vampire?" Vanya asked abruptly, brushing his sleeve across his face.
"About two years," Seras replied. "And a lot has happened in such a short time..."
"Why did your master turn you?" Vanya asked.
"Because I asked him to. Because I was afraid to die. No, maybe not afraid; just not ready."
Vanya considered her for a moment. He then said, hesitantly, but firmly, "What would you say if I asked you to make me a vampire?"
Seras stared at him in disbelief. "Why would you want that? I didn't have a choice; I was dying. But you have a whole life ahead of you! Why would you choose to have a cursed existence? To walk a path of blood and death, and glory in it despite what your mind tells you?! You don't know what it's like, what I've been through!"
"Do you regret it?"
Seras bit her tongue, unsure of how to answer. Did she regret it? No, probably not. But that was because she did not think like a human anymore. Her pleasure came from killing, and from serving her master. As a human looking into her future, she probably would have killed herself. Probably. Why had she said yes that night?
"Vanya, it's hard to explain," she said carefully, picking through her thoughts as she spoke. "My life as a vampire has been terrible, but as a vampire it has pleased me greatly. Does that make any sense? My goals and ambitions are so different from what they were the night I was changed. I am not the same person I was. I am a monster, plain and simple, and what's worse is that I'm happy I'm a monster, even though I know I shouldn't be."
"I see," said Vanya quietly. "So basically, you wish you regretted it, but you don't."
"Something like that. It's a strange feeling."
"I can imagine."
Seras grimaced. "It's not like it matters anyway. You're probably not a virgin, are you? Not at your age..."
"I am."
Seras stared at him in shock.
Vanya shrugged. "Something always held me back. I would be so close, so wrapped up in the moment and then suddenly, something in the back of my head said "Don't do it!" And I would pull away, confused, but no longer interested."
"Perhaps it was your vampire blood calling out to you," Seras said intently. "The part of you that knew that once you gave up your virginity, you also gave up your chance for the life it wanted."
Vanya scoffed. "Vampire blood isn't really that strong, is it?"
Seras looked away. "It can possess you," she told him softly, remembering with horror some of the deeds she had committed when her vampiric side took over. "It can make you do things you wouldn't normally do, all for the sake of it's goal. Have you ever noticed any other strange things about yourself? Things that might have to do with your vampiric heritage?"
Vanya pondered her question before answering, "I like nights better than days. And I always eat my meat rare. I have a strong temper; is that normal for a vampire?"
Seras nodded. "In some cases, it's worse than others. Master, for example, has a very, very bad temper."
Vanya laughed. "So I'm halfway there already? Well, why not, Seras? Why not let me come with you? What do my motives matter?"
Seras considered him for a moment. Her vampiric senses were singing to her softly, telling her that it was a very good idea indeed. His blood probably tasted sweet, and he was intelligent, and would make a powerful nosferatu some day. She had only to take him in her arms, sink her teeth into his neck...
"Vanya, I can't," she said, shutting the voices out of her head. "I won't do that to you!"
Vanya smiled and leaned closer to her. "But think of how it will benefit you! Think of how your master will react... he'll be angry, interested... maybe even jealous."
"Stop it, Vanya!" Seras snapped. "Don't tempt me! You don't know what you're doing!"
"Maybe not," he admitted, still grinning. "But the vampire blood in me certainly does. It thinks this would be a very good idea, and I can't help agreeing with it. I'm not interested in being abandoned in this strange time, this strange place- I want a purpose, just like you. Don't I have the right to do that? Why can't you give me that?"
"B-because," Seras stuttered. He looked like a vampire already, she couldn't help thinking.
"There is no good reason," he said fiercely. "This is what I want- and what you want, too! So do it- take my blood, and make me your fledgling."
Seras stared at him, hesitating. He swiftly grabbed her hand and pulled her closer to him, so that she could actually hear the beat of his heart, smell the sweet scent of his flesh.
"Please," he said, in the faintest whisper, dragging her head closer to his neck. And the voice he spoke in was as even and as rational as any. He really wanted this. This was his choice. And hadn't that been the reason she had become a vampire? Because it was her choice.
The feel of his pulse was pounding in her body, urging her onward. She bent closer to him, placing one hand on the back of his head, the other on his shoulder.
"Just remember," she said as she brushed her fangs along the smooth skin of his neck. "The choice was always yours."
And as she bit down on the tender flesh, she felt her mind wander to her master, wishing he was with her, hoping he would notice her, praying he would forgive her.
Cliche? Maybe a little... but it wasn't an ordinary turning. Vanya wanted this- and I guess Seras could respect that, probably because she knew what it was like to feel worthless and alone. You may feel free to chuck bricks at my head if you don't like the fact that I turned Vanya into a vampy, but in the context of the story, it actually makes sense this time- and I finally explained why Seras did what she did, so at least that's one question answered... the depths Seras stoops to for a little bit of attention... tsk, tsk, tsk. What are we going to do with her? Oh, I know! Too bad you don't! You have to check back tomorrow for the next chapter! Muahahahaha! (Seras and Vanya return to the past- who wants to see Alu-chan's reaction? Or Draccy's when he realizes Seras ate his snack for him?) Next chappie should be quite entertaining... well, anyway, hope everyone enjoyed! Review please!
