Chapter Twelve: Some Kind of Curse

The following Friday was proving to be the most draining court day yet. The entire week as a whole had been draining, what with Frank's suspicions about another pregnancy, plus Nicholas asking if we could move in together, it had just gone on and on. I was able to get to Ian before the party ended, and just managed to pull him aside. I couldn't speak for a moment, not wanting to come right out and say it, but also knowing that I had to talk to someone about what Nicholas had just said.

"What is it?" he asked, concerned. "What happened? He didn't do anything stupid, did he?" Ian asked, peppering me with questions.

I sighed. "Wouldn't know. I left him alone with Frank."

Ian raised his eyebrows. "Good. Maybe his past came back and he was able to take Frank down a peg—or three."

I rolled my eyes. "Ian, this is serious."

Ian nodded. "Sorry. What did he say?"

"Ian, Nicholas asked me to move in with him," I replied.

He sighed. "Okay. And what did you say?"

"Nothing—I excused myself!" I said, looking at him as if he was insane that I would even consider doing such a thing. "I can't move in with him now, you know that. There are so many things left unsaid..."

"Really? You didn't say anything?"

I sighed. "No, I said something—one thing, I guess," I said quietly. "I said we should discuss it at a later time, because it's not a good time right now."

"Do you have anything further to say, Mr. Blomqvist?" Judge Newton said, disrupting my reverie. "Or you, Miss Gallagher?"

Nicholas got to his feet. "No, Your Honor."

I followed suit. "No, Your Honor."

Judge Newton nodded. "Very well. Ms. Eastman? Do you want to say anything?"

Gwen shook her head. "I've said everything I've wanted to say, Your Honor."

"Yes, Ms. Eastman," Judge Newton said. "So, I'll allow the jury to take as long as they need to deliberate on this case—"

"Wait. Your Honor?" Geoff said, and held up his hand.

Gwen immediately grabbed my arm. "What is he doing?!" she whispered, her face, and voice, full of fear.

I shrugged. "No idea," I replied.

"Is something the matter, Mr. Eastman?" Judge Newton asked, quick to grow annoyed with Geoff, given the last four months.

Geoff sighed, getting to his feet. "I have something to say."

Judge Newton sighed. "Very well, Mr. Eastman. Say your piece."

Geoff got out of his circle of lawyers and stood in the middle of the courtroom, but turned to our table, and I was shocked that it appeared that he wanted to speak to Gwen. "Gwen, I am so sorry," he said. "For years, Mom and Dad tried to get their ideals engrained into their minds. I know that everyone knows that they failed with you, but they succeeded with me, most unfortunately, because their way of thinking is so backward and behind the times. I was so determined to appear like their golden boy and to succeed in everything that I lost sight of what was the most important thing—the love, support, and respect of my twin sister. Gwen, you created fifty-percent, if not more, of our revenue, and you deserve the respect and credit of your achievements. I humbly ask for your forgiveness, and for you to return as co-CEO of Geoff and Gwen Gizmos."

Gwen blinked, getting to her feet. "On the condition that I drop the lawsuit?"

Geoff sighed. "Yes," he replied. "However, once you come back and get the credit—and your old position—back, which should have always been yours in the first place, it will become obsolete." Quickly, Geoff snapped his fingers, and one of his lawyers produced a piece of paper, and Geoff held it out to her. "This is the contract."

Nicholas intercepted it, and he and I looked over it, and were shocked that Geoff was actually being upfront with Gwen. We encouraged her to take the deal, as we lawyers were encouraged to do, but left it ultimately up to her. Gwen stared at her brother for a moment, before gazing at the contract, and I could see that her decision was made.

Gwen sighed before getting to her feet. "Your Honor, I would like to formally drop the lawsuit against our company," she said, signing the contract. Then she circled around the table. "I accept the terms and conditions, Geoff."

Geoff grinned at his sister. "Good to have you back, sis," he said, pulling her in for a hug, and even I was touched by the family reunion.

Nicholas and I said goodbye to everyone, shaking hands with the opposing side—as was the custom—before we left the courtroom. Walking down the stairs, I gave him a kiss goodbye and walked slowly to my car. I was pleased at the outcome of the trial, but wondering when Nicholas would be wanting an answer about our future.

. . .

Once Nicholas managed to successfully corner me into giving an answer, I had had enough time to think of a worthy reply. I simply informed him that, with Iana due to begin preschool in September, that it likely wouldn't be a good time to move in at the moment, but that I would consider it for the future. Nicholas was satisfied with my answer, and we returned to our new normal between ourselves.

I was in for a shock when, just over two weeks later, Allie came into my office and shut the door behind her in an unexpected gesture as I immediately got to my feet. "Allie? Is something wrong?" I asked.

She sighed. "I just found out that Charlotte's former boss has been sitting on quite a few of her possessions, and—now that she realizes they weren't worth as much as she thought, she feels inclined to return them to me."

"Her boss?"

"Raquel Stanhope, the head of the modeling agency she worked for," Allie replied, her voice dripping with disdain.

"I'm sorry to hear that," I said, shaking my head. "Well, if you need me to take care of anything while you're gone—"

"Actually, Murphy," Allie said tentatively, "I need you to come with me."

I blinked. "Me."

"Yes," she replied. "Hugo's got his first big case now that he's working full-time, and he's asked Nicholas to be second chair. It's a lot, but they can still oversee things here, and I hate traveling alone, so if you would consent to go with me..."

I sighed. Flying and I had never been the best of friends, but I knew that Allie needed me, so I decided to be a trooper. "No problem," I replied. "When do we leave?"

"On a red eye," she replied, obviously relieved that I'd consented to go with her. "So go home and get some sleep. I'll send a car for you."

I shook my head. "That's all right. I'll take my car." I checked the time. "It's nearly one now, so I'll go and pick up Iana and just hang out with her at home. We don't seem to know how long this is going to take, and I wouldn't want to leave without spending a significant amount of time with her..."

Allie nodded. "Yes, of course. You run along now, and I'll see you later."

I spent a lovely afternoon with Iana, checking the status of our direct flight to Los Angeles every now and again to confirm the arrival time. It was a three a.m. flight, so my plan was to be in bed by five, and I texted Ian to let him know my plans. Ian was very considerate and came home early to be with Iana while I packed a suitcase, not knowing how long we'd be gone, but I knew I did want to be more prepared than not.

I drove to the airport a bit after midnight, texting Allie to let her know what was going on and where I was. I parked in the open-ended section of the lot, still unknowing about how long I would be gone from Chicago. As I walked through the airport with my suitcase, I realized that the last time I'd left Chicago had been when I'd gone to Mexico a second time, to tell Mickey that there was a fifty-fifty odds that he was going to be a father. I recalled how I told him that I'd find a way to let him know for sure, and I hadn't found a way to do so, as I didn't have an address or phone number for him.

"Maybe a detour—someday," I said to myself.

Once I'd gone through all the mandatory check points, I went to a twenty-four-hour coffee bar and got myself some form of caffeine as I wandered over to the proper gate. Allie arrived about half an hour later, and we made small talk as the next hour and a half went by. Finally, they let us onto a plane, and I gripped Allie's arm as we sat in first class, per Allie's insistence, and she said that I should think of it as a birthday gift.

"Listen, Allie..."

"Yeah?"

I bit my lip. "I have a fear of flying..."

"It will be fine, Murphy," Allie said gently.

I sighed. "Don't we always fear the unknown?"

Allie blinked. "You've never been on a plane before?"

I shook my head. "No."

"But what about when you moved here?" she asked.

I sighed. "I drove."

Allie nodded. "Okay," she said, putting her arm around my shoulders. "Once the plane is in the air, I'll give you a couple of sleeping pills. You'll sleep for the entire flight, and you'll be just fine, I promise you."

I nodded. "Okay. Thanks."

True to her word, Allie gave me the pills and I slept like a baby for the four and a half hour flight, waking up when we touched down at seven-thirty. Allie helped me get my bearings as we scoured the airport for the baggage claim and when we came to it, we grabbed our things and went to secure a rental car. Allie had to sign for it, as she was the older one, and I had yet to turn twenty-five. As soon as we were in the car, Allie moved to call Raquel, but was dismayed when she couldn't get an answer.

"That was her assistant, Andrea," she said, rolling her eyes. "Apparently, Raquel is not available for three days, and wants to be there for the 'official handover'," she said. "What a load of bullshit, if you ask me."

I nodded. "Sounds like she wants to jerk us around."

Allie groaned as we sat there in morning traffic in the heart of Los Angeles. "First she keeps my daughter from me, then she convinces her not to go through with the treatments because of the hair loss, and then she keeps her things from me after she dies..."

"Wait," I said, confused. "I thought that Charlotte decided to stop treatment on her own. Now this Raquel lady told her? I don't understand..."

Allie nodded. "Yes, there was a lot of that going around," she replied. "Nicholas mentioned to you that she left each of us a farewell DVD?"

I nodded. "Yeah, he mentioned it."

"She told us in Hugo's and my DVD," Allie replied, dashing the tears from her eyes. "She told us that Raquel didn't want her to go through the chemotherapy anymore, because her hair was her only true beauty, and she didn't want to have a cancer-ridden zombie on the payroll..." Her voice broke.

"Allie, I'm so sorry," I whispered.

Allie sighed, pulling out a handkerchief. "Hey, it is what it is, and there are bitches out there, so that's no fun..."

I smiled. "It'll get better."

"I'm so sorry to just drag you out here like this without a plan..."

I shrugged. "Hey, I need an adventure every now and again."

We ended up staying at Lucas and Benjamin's shared mansion in Beverly Hills, and they were all too pleased to have house guests. They gushed over their lovely architecture in the best way possible as they gave us a tour, and recommended the in-home spa to Allie, and the library to me, for even they knew our favorite methods of relaxation. I went into the library, charging my phone as I sat on what Benjamin told me was a chaise longue, which was done up in the buttoned, classic style.

I tried to get into my book as it neared lunchtime, and wondered if Nicholas was out of court yet, so I decided to call him, knowing he would have his phone on silent if he was still in court. I was relieved when he picked up, greeting him in an excited manner, and wondering if he even missed me yet. "Hi!" I crowed into the phone.

"Hey, you," he replied. "How's Los Angeles?"

"Beverly Hills, darling," I said, putting on an old Hollywood accent. "Your mother and I are staying with Lucas and Benjamin."

"How do you like the mansion?" he asked.

I nodded. "I like it," I replied. "I'm in the library relaxing."

"Where's my mother?"

"At the in-home salon getting a massage, last I heard."

"You didn't want a massage?"

I laughed aloud. "God, no! I got a free one at the mall once when I was sixteen. The guy did it so hard that I had bruises on my back for a week. Not that I didn't frequently have bruises littering my skin, but still..."

"I hate hearing about that son of a bitch, Murphy... What he did to you, it just makes me want to fucking kill him."

I sighed. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault—don't apologize!" Nicholas said, his tone filled with concern. "I just want you to be happy."

"I am happy," I assured him.

"What's the news with Raquel?" he asked, wanting to change the subject.

I sighed. "Oh, where do I begin?"

"She being a bitch?" he asked.

"You don't know the half of it," I replied. "She's keeping us at bay for three days just because she doesn't want to waste twenty minutes with us."

"Bitch," he growled into the phone.

"Hey, we're going to make it work," I replied. "I'm flattered that your mother even asked me to come with her in the first place."

"She thinks very highly of you," Nicholas replied.

I smiled at the thought. "As I do of her," I said.

. . .

Raquel finally agreed to a meeting four days after our arrival, putting us yet another day behind schedule, but Lucas and Benjamin insisted that they loved the company in between shoots, and that we could even play extras in scenes if we wanted. Allie and I politely declined, and I decided to do something that I hadn't done since I'd first moved to Chicago. I'd thankfully brought a jogging outfit with me, and on our third day in California, I went out for a run, wanting just to push the negativity out of my head and just put it behind me.

As I ran, I considered the past year, and how far I'd come as a person, but knowing that I still couldn't escape who I was—a Gallagher, who trouble followed. However, as I mulled it over in my mind, I knew then I didn't want to escape who I was, just the bad habits. Rolling my eyes at how simple it was, I kept right on jogging, knowing that, once I got back, Nicholas and I would have to sit down and have a serious talk about the future. This meant no more secrets, and he and I had to abide by that rule if there was any hope of us making it work.

And I wanted it to work. Really, I did.

At the end of my run, I went into a coffee shop for a cold drink, and waited in line, fishing out my credit card from my pocket and regulating my headphones so that they dangled freely from my neck. The door opened behind me, jingling as it went, and I didn't even bother to turn around as the line moved forward. I stared up at the menu, wanting to figure out what drink I would find palatable, when a familiar voice filled my ears.

"Oh, my god, Murphy?!"

Turning around, my eyes nearly popped out of my head as Jasmine Jones stood in front of me and I shook my head to clear it. "Jasmine?!" I demanded.

Jasmine grinned. "Hi!" she said, pulling me to her, not caring that I'd obviously just gone for a run and was likely sweaty. "Look at you! You look amazing! I remember last time I saw you, it was just a few months after you'd had Iana... How is she?"

"She's well, thank you," I replied, my eyes lowering to the toddler that held Jasmine's hand. "I mean, she's great. She just turned two."

"Oh, I'm sorry," she said, following my eyes. "This is my son, Jared. Jared, this is an old friend of Mommy's. This is Murphy."

"Hi, Jared," I said, willing for my voice not to shake as I took in Jared's dark blue eyes and raven black hair. "He's beautiful, Jasmine," I replied, raising my eyes to hers. "Nicholas mentioned that you moved out here to model."

"I did," she replied, smiling.

"How's that going?"

"Amazing," she replied. "But, of course, I had to get Jared involved, too. He modeled for Gerber and now he's doing Baby Gap. People can't get enough of him!"

I smiled. "That's good to hear."

"And you?" she asked, trying to get my attention again as I found myself staring at Jared. "What is new with you?"

I kept my smile plastered on my face. "Not a whole lot," I replied, deciding not to bring up my relationship with Nicholas, not knowing how she would react. "Just being a mom and being an attorney... It's a living," I replied. "Excuse me," I said then, getting out of line then, and running out of the place, my heart pounding in my ears.

I couldn't believe it. I just couldn't believe it! I found I was raging as I ran, my tears mixing with the sweat which poured from my forehead. Nicholas had told me that Jasmine had said that she was not pregnant, and Jared was obviously Nicholas's son. I stopped running after half a dozen blocks, gripping my knees and breathing in and out, knowing that I had to figure out where I was sooner rather than later. All this stress of the last several weeks had gotten to me, so much so that I hadn't had a period in nearly two months.

Wait. I paused my thoughts then and shook my head. The only time I hadn't gotten my period was twice in my lifetime. The first had been when Dr. Normal had locked me in my room without food and just water once a day, back when he'd caught me with Jessica. The second time was when I'd been pregnant with Iana. Of course, it had tapered a bit while I was breastfeeding her, but Nicholas and I were always careful. And since we were always so careful, we'd fallen back on using condoms after my birth control prescription had run out...

No.

No, it just couldn't be. I could not have gotten myself into this mess all over again!

"Dammit, Gallagher," I said, slapping my forehead as I took off running again. I ran and ran, knowing that I'd passed a drugstore somewhere nearby. Yes! There it was, I thought to myself as I ran inside, the air conditioning hitting me like a source of happiness as I walked quickly up one aisle and down the other. Finally, I came to the proper aisle and grabbed what I was looking for, taking it up to the front counter and scanning my credit card in the machine.

I called for an Uber as I rang up, too exhausted and overwhelmed to get back to the mansion by jogging, and I needed answers. I thanked the cashier and stepped outside, the Uber already waiting for me as I crossed the parking lot. The driver confirmed the address, and, when they arrived, I gave them a tip for not pressuring me into small talk. I got out of the car, relieved when I got a text from Allie that she'd gone to the set with the boys that day, and I was pleased to have the house to myself.

I went upstairs to my bedroom, resolving to take the shower before I took the pregnancy test, which sat there like an elephant as I tore off my jogging clothes in the bathroom. I stepped into the shower, turning the water to cold and on full blast, and was rewarded with my own personal waterfall. Despite the fact that many of the rooms in this house were guest suites, no expense was spared, and each had a defining theme.

I got out of the shower a few moments later, leaving the unopened text on the bathroom counter as I walked into my borrowed bedroom, pulling on a pair of denim shorts and a tank top before returning to the bathroom. I bit my lip, reading the instructions on the thing; despite being pregnant once before, I'd never had to take one of these, as I'd gotten tested at the doctor's office after a suspected bout of food poisoning. Shaking my head, I opened the box and pulled out the stick, sitting down on the toilet to do my business and to figure something out.

I placed the sick back onto the counter, flushing the toilet and washing my hands as I waited for the life-changing outcome. If it was negative, I figured I didn't really need to tell anyone—if it was negative, it could all be chalked up to stress, and nobody cared about that. However, if it did come up positive, I knew that there would be an extra-long conversation in store for Nicholas and me. When the five minutes were up, I picked up the stick, and sighed, the outcome staring back at me.

"Okay," I replied.

. . .

I got on a plane that night, knowing that I just had to get home. No matter what the outcome of the test had been, I knew it was time to come clean about everything. The lies and the secrets ended here, I decided, as I sent off my apology text to Allie, telling her that something had come up and I had to get home. She was very understanding, as she always was, and told me that she would come home if I needed anything. I thought the gesture was very sweet, but I knew very well that Allie didn't owe me a thing. I may have been her son's girlfriend, but that didn't automatically make me family, although maybe she thought differently...

I picked up my car from the airport parking lot and just drove, wanting to obliterate the last twenty-four hours from my mind. Seeing Jasmine and the result on that pregnancy test had thrown me completely, and I was relieved when Allie let me return home early. As the sunset came onto the scene, I felt myself feeling exhausted from the days' events, and the notion that something was lurking just beneath the surface scared me. I felt the sweat on my forehead and neck as I drove, almost as if I was retreating from a crime scene, and all I wanted to do was get home in one piece.

I drove up to the house and got out of my car, slamming and locking the door automatically behind me as I threw open my trunk, hauling my suitcase out before slamming it shut as well. I pushed open the gate and stamped through the yard and up the steps of the porch, trepidation hidden within my every move. I fished my keys out of my pocket, finding that my hands were shaking as I stuck them into the lock and opened the door, barely aware of my duffel bag hanging from my arm. I shut and locked the door behind me, sensing footsteps nearby and when I turned around, I saw Ian standing before me, and I launched myself into his arms.

"Murph?" he asked, his voice shocked, but he nevertheless hugged me back. "You're back six days early—you said that Allie said maybe a week and a half," he said, looking shocked at me in a moment of clarity. "What's going on?"

"Nothing!" I said quickly, too quickly, as I yanked myself away from him. "Nothing's wrong. I mean, why would anything be wrong? Where's Iana?"

Ian looked perturbed at my attitude. "I said, 'What's going on?' not 'What's wrong?'," he replied, his tone careful. "Iana's in the living room with Liam—"

"Mama!" Iana crowed, my two-year-old making a joyous run for me and holding up her arms in a demanding yet cute manner. "Mama, Ana missed you!"

"Did she now?" I asked, bending down and scooping her up into my arms. "Well, that's good, because Mama missed Ana very much."

"Mama leave again?" she asked, her brow furrowing.

"No," I told her, shaking my head. "In fact, Mama has a surprise."

"What?" she asked as I moved upstairs, carrying her as she bounced up and down in my arms, Ian bringing up the rear. "What surprise?"

"Yeah, what surprise?" Ian asked from behind me as I stepped into my bedroom. "Murph, you need to tell me what's—"

"Mama's taking you to Disney World!" I cried as soon as we stepped into my bedroom. "So, I want you to grab your bathing suits and your towels, because there are so many beaches in Florida that we have to make time to visit them all—"

"Murphy," Ian said, his voice hinging on desperation as Iana scuttled around the room, pulling out her small roller suitcase and filling it expertly with everything I'd told her to fill it with. "I need to know what's going on..."

"What?" I asked, barely listening to him as I booked me and Iana tickets on a red-eye flight from the airport to Florida. "What's the problem, Ian?"

Ian sighed, watching as Iana continued to stuff things into her roller suitcase, and looked as if he was wondering where the madness would end. "Stop and tell me what's going on, Murph, please. Don't just take off like this..."

I sighed, holding up my hand as I walked over to Iana, and helped her pack everything accordingly before I kissed her forehead. "Good job, honey. Now, wait for Mama downstairs by the front door, all right?"

"All right, Mama!" she chanted, pulling her suitcase out of the room behind her as I turned around and looked up at my brother.

"What's going on?" he asked, his voice quiet. "You know I know when something's happening here, Murphy. Just...tell me."

I swallowed then, not wanting to appear vulnerable, but the secrets and the lies couldn't stop—not yet. Just a little while longer... "I'll tell you everything, as soon as Iana and I are in Florida and I've had time to decompress," I said quietly.

Ian sighed. "You'll tell me everything?"

I nodded. "On one condition..."

"What condition? Murph, what are you talking about?"

I raised my eyes to my brother's then, the fear I'd been holding back in my voice. "Something terrible has happened," I whispered to him, my voice shaking, and immediately, Ian looked concerned. "It's so bad, but I can't tell you, yet. Just..."

"What's the condition, Murphy? Anything!"

I sighed. "You can't tell anyone where we've gone," I whispered, and Ian looked shocked at what I was asking of him. "That's the condition," I replied.

"But... Murphy... You're coming back?" he asked, as I moved to stuff the last of my things into my suitcase. "Aren't you?"

I looked up at Ian then. "You can't ask me..."

"I'm pulling the twin card, Murph," he replied.

I rolled my eyes. "That doesn't exist..."

"It sure as shit does!" he replied. "You're coming back," he said, placing his hand on mine, which caused me to look up at him, "aren't you?"

I hesitated for a moment, the silence between us deafening, and I knew that, at least in this situation, I needed to give him an honest answer. "I don't know," I replied.

END OF SEASON FOUR