Lena felt incredibly nervous. She was meeting Stef's mom. Sharon may be a small woman, but she was a force to be reckoned with. She wasn't even married to Stef's father anymore and still told him to shape up when he was making terrible decisions. And the man still did what she told him to! It was incredible really if you considered it.
Stef was nervously preparing for the dinner. Lena had decided that the most helpful task she could accomplish was to keep Brandon out of Stef's hair. She and the young boy had become fast friends in the weeks they had spent together, so it was quite nice to be in his company. He was chatting at her about everything he had done that day. He had had the opportunity to play an actual piano, as opposed to the keyboard Stef had bought for him, and he couldn't stop talking about it. Lena listened just enough to make the appropriate sounds of awe as he talked a mile a minute. She was surprised when it was suddenly quiet. Her eyes focused on the boy. His eyes were focused on her, thoughtfully.
"Do you love Mommy?" he suddenly asked.
Lena was completely thrown off guard. "Yes," she answered honestly.
"Mommy loves you, too," he stated.
"I hope so."
"Does Mommy still love Daddy?"
"Of course she does buddy because your dad gave you to your mom, and she loves you more than anything!" Lena put her hands on his face and looked straight in his eyes so he could read the truth of what she said in her eyes.
He looked at her ponderingly, "Okay. Then since Mommy loves you, I am gonna love you too,"
"I love you too, B," Lena said pulling him into a hug.
Just then the doorbell rang. Brandon pulled away from Lena and ran for the living room. Somehow, no matter how serious the conversation was, when something more exciting happened kids were off and running. He loved to answer the door and he knew his Grandma was visiting. Lena followed at a slower pace. Brandon had quite unintentionally quelled her nerves. She had a smile on her face and greeted Sharon warmly when she was introduced. Stef seemed to calm as well.
Dinner was served shortly after Sharon arrived. Brandon ate quickly and then left the table to play with the new toy Sharon had brought for him. Sharon spent the majority of the time questioning Lena about everything. She rapidly changed subjects. One minute she would be asking about Lena's childhood and the next she would ask how Lena had become an administrator. There was no rhyme or reason to her questioning techniques, but Lena answered all her questions. Stef was mostly silent, though she would at times tell her mother to calm the third degree she had focused on Lena.
"Well you don't tell me anything so I have to ask Lena," Sharon had snapped good-naturedly.
Lena laughed and assured Stef that she didn't mind. And what surprised Lena more was that as she said it, she meant it. She didn't mind answering the questions because she wanted to prove herself to Stef's mom. She wanted to have this approval because it was incredibly unlikely they would ever get approval from Stef's dad.
"So, Lena, when did you know you were gay?" Sharon asked to the great horror of her daughter.
"Mom!" Stef cried.
"What? You don't mind answering that question do you Lena?" Sharon asked.
"Um, no, I don't mind," Lena caught Stef's hand and squeezed reassuringly. "I was about 14. I fell madly in love with another student, obviously a girl, and I thought I would die if I didn't inform her of my undying love. So I wrote her a note. She, on the other hand, did not feel the same. She reacted as any 14-year-old girl who was not gay might react. She told me off and told everyone and showed the note to most of the students in our school. I was outed early in life. At the time I was mortified. I knew I loved her, but I had no idea what that really meant. Now, I am glad it happened so early. By the time I was 18 and off to college and on my own I pretty much knew who I was and what I wanted. I think I had it easier than my friends that were so sheltered they didn't have a clue until college. The transition is hard enough without having to figure that out too."
Sharon was nodding thoughtfully. "Uh-huh. That makes sense. Wasn't that a little, well, young to figure out you were gay? What did you parents do?"
"Mmm, maybe young to come out, but I knew I felt different all my life. My parents took it well. They had fought their own battle as white man and a black woman marrying. They knew I would have a tough time, so at home they supported me as best they could so I had a safe place to just be me. I grew up bi-racial as well. I had a pretty thick skin," Lena explained.
Sharon listened intently. Then she looked at Stef contemplatively. This was obviously something Sharon and Stef had not talked about yet and things that may have been fuzzy for Sharon were clearing up.
"When did you know you were gay?" Sharon asked Stef.
Stef stared intently at her food, swirling it around her plate. "I guess when I was 11 or 12," Stef answered honestly.
"Oh honey, I am so sorry."
"It's okay Mom."
"No, it's really not, but there is nothing I can do about it now but support you," Sharon sat up a little straighter. She had obviously just made up her mind about something. "I am going to join PFLAG. I read about it you know. Parents, Friends and Family of Lesbians and Gays; I looked it up."
As embarrassed as Stef obviously felt, Lena could also see the love and pride she felt towards her mother in that moment.
Throughout the evening Lena was able to toss in a question here and there: lightening the mood when Stef was getting too overwhelmed by the conversation. She asked about Stef as a child and heard some cute stories of a little girl that had always been a little awkward in her own skin. She was the daughter she was supposed to be as well as the son her father didn't have. She had been incredibly close to her father until she was a teen. Lena understood what had broken that closeness, but it seemed that Sharon was not privy to the reasoning. Stef kept so many things close to her heart. It made it that much more special that Stef had confided so much so fast.
Lena felt especially fantastic as Sharon left. In all reality, she believed she had won the approval of the two most important people in Stef's life that day: her mom and her son.
