Chapter 12
When Jemima and Ben arrived in Brighton, it was about half past eleven. She had no idea if the band had finished playing yet, so they first went to the little venue where the gig was supposed to be. Bu they had no luck there, seeing a man lock up the place, when they pulled up in front of the building.
"I could call Niall", Jemima said, feeling more and more like this was going to fail. What if she couldn't get a hold of him. Then she'd have to call Harry and God only knew if he would ever pick up the phone for her again. She didn't have Louis' or Liam's numbers. So she tried Niall first.
"Hiya!" He sounded a little bit drunk and a lot more Irish than usual, when he fortunately picked up the phone, after just a few signals.
"Hi, Niall", Jemima started. She wasn't exactly sure what to say now. She realized that Harry was going to be with him, and was more than likely way past the whole drama with her and now having the time of his life with some tall, blonde, less complicated girl. And if that was the case, she realized, she really didn't want to know. But she had to. "Niall, is Harry with you?"
"No", he said, immediately, and Jemima feared the worst. He had probably gone off with said girl already, doing things that made Jemima's stomach turn into a hard knot, just thinking about it.
"He said he didn't feel like going out after the gig", Niall continued. "So he's gone off to where we're staying tonight. I guess he's got his phone if you want to call him."
"Oh", was all Jemima could say. The relief was almost overwhelming. "No… I'm actually here in Brighton."
"Oh, okay…" Niall said, sounding a little bit shocked. "Hey… just… He told me what happened. And I'm not here to judge or anything, but please… Be nice to him."
"I… yeah. I will." Jemima said and hung up the phone. She had no idea what else to say to Niall. Although he was her friend too, he was going to be there for Harry and she didn't want to make any promises she would not be able to hold. She still hadn't really decided what she wanted to say.
Ben looked at her and without saying anything, asking where they were going. She told him the address she had gotten, to the house that belonged to Liam's friend. She really hoped that the friend or anyone other than Harry would be there. She was not okay with having this conversation In front of some stranger.
They pulled up outside the house, twenty minutes later, after just one wrong turn and one way where they'd had to turn around, because directions they were following didn't show that there would be roadwork going on in one place. Jemima didn't get out of the car, just sat and looked straight ahead, not being able to move herself from point A to B. After a little while, Ben cleared his throat.
"Are you actually going to do this or is this the furthest you'll go?" He didn't sound impatient, just like he was honestly wondering.
"Yeah, I'm working on it."
"Okay." He was quiet for a second, then asked: "What's really the worst that can happen? Because I think the worst part is probably already over and all you have to do now is patch it all up."
"But I still don't know what to say", Jemima almost whispered. "I have no idea how I feel and I don't want to hurt him even more."
"You'll figure it out when you see him. Trust me."
And with that, Ben leaned over her and opened the door on her side. He clicked open her seatbelt and gestured for her to get out of the car. When she did, he said:
"Wait! Don't feel like you're in a rush or anything, I'm waiting right here. But if you decide to… to stay the night, please text me, so I know and can go home."
She gave him a look that clearly said there would be no chance of her staying the night, and then turned towards the door. She pressed the doorbell before she could chicken out, and turned her head and looked at Ben with panic. He just smiled overly enthusiastic and waved at her.
The door suddenly opened. Harry looked like he'd seen a ghost, once he saw her.
"Hi", she said, after a few seconds of them just staring at each other. "Can I come in?"
He let her in, without a word. She couldn't tell if he was just shocked to see her, or so angry that he didn't want to speak. She came directly into a small living room, with mattresses all over the floor and a sofa made up as a bed. Jemima looked around for a second, considering where it would be best for be while she delivered whatever it was that she way going to. She took a little too long to decide, and Harry gave her a look like he was urging he to start explaining why she had turned up there, in the middle of the night.
"I needed to talk to you", she began, after finally deciding to stand, just as she was, in the middle of the room.
"Okay…" He didn't sound too angry, but not like he was about to jump with joy either. He waited for her to continue.
"I'm sorry", was all she could think of. And suddenly, how she was going to solve this situation, just came to her. Looking at him, she finally knew what she wanted. "I really am sorry, for what I said." Her voice sounded louder this time, and more assured. "It was not okay and I was mean and wrong and I am sorry. I don't want us to fight."
He looked at her, his face slowly softening. "It's okay. Everyone says stupid shit when they're upset. Really, that's no big deal." He was quiet for a second and then said, a little more tense again:
"But the thing is… You say you don't want us to fight. And I don't want that either. But I don't think I can really be your friend like before, since you "don't feel the same way as I do…"
"But I do!" The words came out of Jemima's mouth, before she even had a chance to think them over. "I do. Or I could."
Harry looked confused.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean I could feel that way about you. I think I'm well on my way to doing so. I just… haven't really allowed myself to during these past months, so I think… I think I would just have to take things slow. If you want to, of course." She added quietly.
Harry didn't answer. Instead he sat down on the sofa, pulled his legs up and hugged them with his arms. He didn't look at her, but she could tell from his facial expression that a million thoughts were going through his head. She sat down, in front of him, nervously playing with the edge of the rug with her toes, while waiting for him to answer. When he didn't, she turned to him, leaning her chin on his knees, so that her face was suddenly very close to his. She looked at him, trying to get him to understand that she was being completely serious.
"I want this", she said. "I really do. I just need to kind of find my balance in it, so I know I am still me, all the way through it. Do you understand where I'm coming from?"
He nodded, finally looking at her. And for the first time that night, he smiled at her.
"I do. And I think taking it slow sounds like… It sounds like a good idea."
She smiled back at him.
"And that thing I said", he continued. "About being in love with you… You really don't have to day that back until you're completely ready. And I won't say it either. Just… Just know that I do, okay?"
She nodded. That she could live with. His expression suddenly changed a little, giving her that half-smile she had missed so much.
"Can I please kiss you now?" he said, suddenly sounding like a child that's been waiting patiently for cake for too long.
She laughed and when she nodded, he did.
After, she didn't know how long, of kissing, Jemima felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. She ignored it and continued exploring Harry's mouth and neck with her own. It was not like she'd thought it would be, very much not like kissing someone who was just your best friend. The phone stopped, but seconds later it started to buzz again. She picked it up and looked at it. Ben's name and face was on the screen. She probably wouldn't have picked it up for anyone else, right this moment, but since he was sitting in the car outside, waiting for her, she had to.
"Hello…" she answered.
"It's coming. Georgie just called me and her water broke and the baby is coming!"
Jemima hung up the phone. She looked at Harry's confused face and almost shouted:
"I have to go! The baby is coming." She gave him one last, quick kiss, before she ran out the door,
