Enslaved Soldier Arc
Disoriented Captain
It's been a long time since I have written something, and my grip in the pencil felt unnatural. Even then, I managed to write down a few paragraphs, though most of them were random ideas. I have never made a speech, and now that I have to do one, asking for help would be the obvious thing. Except for me.
I obviously won't ask Esdese. We have very... distinct ideals, so she'd probably rip out my spine after freezing my chest. Wave... I can't talk to him, I would get attach somehow. The rest are discarded for obvious reasons. Kurome scares me. Bols scares me. Run... well, he seems too good for my own good. And Unknown number one, well, never seen him. Probably will murder him first sight though...
So I just have the help of...
Yeah, my inner craziness.
I was in the Palace's gardens. Royal gardens or whatever, I don't know the terminology. I could see most of the south of the Capital, and even if there was a bit of wind once in a while, I didn't need to bother as I had a notebook. It's kind of strange to be burrowing this from Esdese, but I'll tear off whatever I write.
I heard somebody slowly approaching me.
"Ah? I thought nobody would be here. Excuse me." Run apparently had thought the same as me, and it seemed like he wanted to read something as he had a book in his arms.
"You can stay. I don't really have any inspiration." I said while I got up from the ground. I don't feel my legs. He looked at my hands for a second before talking again.
"You know how to write?" His expression was surely one of surprise.
"Eh, yes. My mother taught me. I guess I'm privileged." Most people in the Empire are illiterate. If you don't have money, you can't pay for an education. My mother was lucky and while she was living in a church when she was young, the priest was kind enough to teach her to write and read.
"You already know more than 80% of the population. If you don't mind, could you stay for a second?" I couldn't make out anything beyond his mask, but it seemed too sketchy.
"I have better things to do." I gently pushed him aside and continued walking.
"You forgot this." I stopped, looking back confused.
M-My notebook!
"This incident, this rebellion, took place because young lives wanted to correct the faults of my own imperfecti-" I quickly snatched my notebook with a quick swipe, before he could read anything else.
"Don't you know reading personal... things is rude?"
"Forgive me, but it's a speech, right? After all, you still have to explain what happened." I know what he's thinking. And that's not possible.
"I don't need your help. I have everything under control." Everything... Everything...
"...Have you ever talked in front of so many people before? In any case, you aren't really trying to be social with us. Don't you think there might be some problems?" He explained without breaking character.
"Em... It's not like I want to be friendly." However...
Could he be an ally...? Perhaps he acted like he did for pity, but he didn't really seem to mind when I said those words back then. There's always the possibility that he knew and didn't care. I have to confirm it, somehow.
"When you confronted me a week ago, you said something about working with each other in another situation. This is another situation, so... what did you want?" I still couldn't read him, but I could see his smile diminish.
"Exactly. This is another situation, and that's why I won't say anything." Sneaky bastard...
"Alright then... Why didn't you follow me after I threw the grenade?" I asked once again, to receive a similar answer.
"Who says that I wasn't following you? You never looked up." Is he avoiding my questions on purpose?
"That's not what I was asking! I was totally open, right? You could have killed or capture me! And even dance in my head!" It looks like I'm being lured into a trap, but I can't back down now.
"I wanted to see how you interacted with your soldiers. You ordered them to fight and even kill their own comrades, but they still trusted your judgment." He's making me push for something, but what is it?
"I was just the only officer on the field..." I pushed it aside like it was nothing, but he still insisted again.
"Had they been on a fight before? Had they killed before? They didn't ask for your help because you are their superior. They asked for your help because you are their leader." Leader? Isn't that the same thing? "You're barely an adult, but you somehow connect with a lot of people. And still. Still. You are in the Empire. That's the reason I didn't attack."
I didn't say anything for a few seconds. I hadn't looked at the whole picture.
"But... People follow me because they think I'm from the Revolution. If they find out I'm Esdese's bodyguard... If they find out that I kneeled for my life... Everyone will hate me." He turned the whole conversation. Damn.
"Then make sure to make it clear with that speech. You aren't a member of the Revolution. You aren't a soldier of the Empire." I quickly interrupted him while making sure my pencil didn't fly into space.
"You just said you didn't kill me because I was in the Empire." That's a contradiction!
"And what is the Empire?" A sensation of deja vu rushed in my body.
The Empire are the citizens. But how does he...?
"You distracted those assassins while everyone ran away. It was very obvious you didn't want to fight. So why stall time like that, just to run away? You could have used the civilians as a shield, right? You cared about their wellbeing."
That was just...
"Wait, you didn't answer my question." He faked surprise, like he was expecting every word. He's like a puppeteer...
"My answer shouldn't bother you. Besides, you should use your freedom more wisely." He started to walk away, leaving me alone with my thoughts.
I could have followed him, but I'm not sure what were his intentions. I'll just have him in the list of possible help.
And speaking of using my freedom...
The slums of the capital were big, not gigantic, but they covered at least a nice 20% of the city. And that is a lot. However, people still try to be happy even in their poor conditions. From my perspective, to be able to smile in this condition shows that they are strong. But not for her. No, for her that isn't strength. She'd say something like; if they're strong, why aren't they living a better life? Why aren't they fighting for one?
I couldn't understand her reasons, but in a sense, she could be right. And then, our ideals were totally separated from the root.
The strong have the right to rule over the weak ones? No. No.
The strong ones must protect and help the weak ones, so they can become strong too.
This is what I think, and no matter how hard she tries, she won't change me. If I have to change to love her... then we can't be in love. I think...
I also don't think it was necessary to tie me into a chair to introduce me to the Jaegers. I bet she enjoyed too, in some way...
But I have a secret mission right now. I'm using the... great free time she lent me to find one person. Yeah, you know who.
And I know of a person who might find him. After all, I did save her daughter.
The last time I came here was to find information about Zank... I hope they still remember me, or at least her father.
I knocked on the door three times and awaited for an answer. I didn't bring any insignia of my position in the Army for... security purposes. The slums obviously support the Revolution, and that means more oppression and random lynches for them, sadly.
"They're not here...?" Now that I think about it, I haven't seen anyone as I entered this part of the town. They can't know that I am her bodyguard, right? I'd freak out and hid too if I knew that.
No, the reason lays somewhere else. Everyone is scared. Scared of the Jaegers. In a way, I could be scared too, of that unknown member. More like angry, as I think I know the answer, but nobody confirms it. Each time I ask Wave, he avoids the question... And I'm scared of asking the Ice queen.
Bols is creepy, and Run... well, he's creepy in a much formal way. It's like he knows me, but I don't know anything about him. Disturbing is a good word...
Just as I was about to leave, the door slowly opened.
"Tatsumi?" A hoarse voice finally answered, leaving me a bit relieved.
"Ah, hello. I was thinking if you could..." The door opened up, and Nea's father let me inside with a troubled face.
"Not here. Come in." His voice reminded me of the situation he was in.
I'm pretty sure he has been working with the Revolution, hence he is a traitor like I wa- am. The difference is, he has to protect a little girl who cannot see. If anything, risking his life to be able to survive... I have to give him props.
His little home was barely decorated, even less than the house we had back in my village. The life I had there was much better than what he has, and I assure you, it wasn't very good. Winters be damned... The fact that I have three meals everyday was something new to me some months ago.
"Are you leaving the city?" I mentioned, closing the door behind me.
"...I hope I could. At the very least is good to know that we have somebody inside the army." I chuckled a bit. Why does everyone think that I'm from the Revolution...?
"Y-Yeah, indoctrinate from the inside. And things I can't really say..." Because I don't really know what to say. "I actually came for a favor."
"I believe I already pay you back with that info of Zank, right? Everything's too hot right now." The man sat down in a clunky chair, too tired to stand up.
"...I'll pay this time. I need to know the localization of a man named Stylish." The man gave me a strange look before laughing again.
"That man is wanted everywhere! I've been months looking for any kind of lead. By the way, quite the spectacle you gave one month ago. If you hadn't make him flee like that, I'd never find one of his bases!" Yeah... spectacle.
"One of them? Please, tell me where." If he has more bases... then shit. But I'll be able to destroy one of them at the very least.
"You seem a bit obsessed, eh? Well, wait here for a second." The man tediously got up and started looking in one of his drawers, trying to find whatever reminder or something.
"Thank you."
Seryu's body... I have never seen it. Ieyasu's was burnt and Sayo's was... lost. I'm sure, no, I'm certain Stylish has her body, not sure why. But I'll know. He's just a coward that hides behind his bodyguards, doing whatever inhuman experiments. I will avenge you...
"Tatsumi...?" I heard the weak voice of a girl grabbing one of my hands.
"Oh? Nea? I thought you were asleep." I kneeled down to get on her level, even if she couldn't see me. "You have grown up a lot since last time!" The girl gave a small smile, as she slowly touched my left hand.
"Your hand is very cold... Why are you so sad?" Huh? She has a sixth sense or what...?
"Whaaat? I'm not sad, I'm a bit tired from all this boring stuff. I'm the only one who can beat the bad guys." I tried to sound a bit happier, just to make her feel better.
"You should find someone who makes you happy." ...Weird words.
I wish I could find that person.
"You're too young to think that stuff." His father said those words as he pulled out a small map of the Empire.
"It was... around here. About a hundred kilometers away from Jelkala, in these mountains. They're probably filled with snow, but is the only thing I found. He only appeared every two months, but now he's going there in a span of... three days."
This is... This is around my village! Was this fate? Another stupid game of fate to laugh at me?!
"... I'll be leaving now. Thank you very much. Come over to the Cloud District if you ever need more help." I slightly bowed, not before saying a personal goodbye to Nea.
"Good luck. You'll probably face worse dangers than me."
Getting inside the Palace was still troublesome, even if the guards knew me. They were really dedicated to protecting this place, even when Esdese has told them to not bother me. I don't even want to know what they do to strangers.
After that struggle, the rest was pretty calmed. I had to climb up too many stairs, but besides that small problem, nothing bad at all.
Except that getting here means being in danger of dying. And that's just Monday. Although I would have liked another cup of tea, but it's been ages since that tea week spree. Don't know what the hell happene- Ah... Right...
I'm depressing.
I reached the meeting room where the Jaegers use to be in, though nobody was there. Even then, I sat down in a chair and looked awkwardly at the ceiling.
What do people do for fun...? Hm...
Hmm...
Hmmmm...
I don't know, playing... Solitaire? Poker...? Strip poker...?! Strip Solitaire?!
I meant other kinds of fun! Like, hanging out with frien- Oh, right. Don't have one of those.
"That's because you're a peasant. Coarse peasant. Coarse anti-social peasant." And then there's my craziness manifesting once again. Her appearances are becoming way too common. Too common for a normal person.
"She didn't say those things..." I said looking away from the voice.
"Maybe I'm actually a ghost. Yes! Ghost of the future-present! I'm here to give you three lessons!" What is that illness that gives you hallucinations?
I hid myself between my arms, and immediately felt the weight of my body augment without care. It's so comfy here...
"Stop that."
"...Stop what?" Blergh, I almost tasted the table...
"Ugh, I'm going to go for an imaginary walk with my imaginary dog until you're fun again!"
I want to have fun...
But I can't. I can't until I've accomplished everyone's wishes... And then... I'll be...
Oh right. I have to set up my group. But who could be a suitable ally...?
Besides Run, who is still in the very distant list of possible allies, I don't really know anyone else. Maybe Wave, though I have to find how he really thinks. It's not like I don't want to be friendly with him, but he's too kind with everyone. Surely, we would be friends in another time...
To sum up, I only have one possible ally inside of the Palace. And outside... Well, besides obviously the soldiers I'm in charge of, nobody else.
Maybe I can make Night Raid target certain people? Although I don't know how to contact them, if I could just make them kill my superiors... That'd be too easy, but I'm open for all options.
Besides, that blond girl kicked me. And the red-haired girl used me. And Akame stole Zank's teigu. That was my kill! And... whoever killed Seryu is going to...eh... Well, there goes all the bad things I can say about them.
Now good things. Akame didn't kill me. Twice. That's it.
I know only one of them killed Seryu, but it's just normal to feel upset.
I suppose I always could ask Mein, but the chances are close to zero. Pretty sure she hates me... for some reason.
Oh yeah. Being with the enemy. I don't know why she hates me for that, I mean, I'm not really that upset, she just chose whatever she thought was right. In any case... we've met barely three times. So maybe I just did a bad first impression.
Wait, she was the one who pointed that gun at me first! I should be the one who is angry!
Whatever...
I'm pretty calmed...
Yes... Comfortable... And nobody is embracing me to death...
.
.
.
... That was a nice nap...
Oh...
Totally forgot about meeting with Esdese! Well... then I guess I don't have to worry about anything again.
I rubbed my eyes while leaning back in the chair again. My back hurts...
The sun was gone, and the candles were the only source of light. Did somebody enter and just leave me here?
I noticed a black patch in my shoulder, and before freaking out because I don't have black clothes, I checked what was it.
I've never seen this clothes... but they're way too casual to be Esdese's. But just to check...
...Yeah, smells like Esdese. Kinda nice actually... like icecre-
Weird, how do I know that? Oh right, sleeping in her room.
Damn, I'm really dense today. I'm forgetting everything! It's not my fault. It's not like I kill people and barely feel anything. Except when it stains my clothes. I'm traumatized since that night...
"You're awake?" A voice startled me as I was still half-sleep.
"Oh... I'm sorry, for oversleeping." Esdese's smile told me to not bother, but I felt compelled to do it. After all it was my fault.
"I can't train you if you're tired." She wasn't wearing her uniform, which meant it was really late. At least she's wearing something else than a shirt...
Oddly, she sat down in front of me rather than at my side. Which I should remind you, it's not a complain.
"...What is it? Ah! This is yours." I handed over the jacket, wondering if she had seen me smelling it...
"You can keep it, as a reminder to not sleep again." But we live in the same room, what's mine is yours and... That came out wrong again...
"T-Thanks? Erm..." I probably should stop asking her questions. I have to show her that at least I try. "Do you want something? You seem too distant..." I pointed out.
"Maybe I do want something. But in the meantime, you can still improve in an important aspect." She got up from the chair, and headed over to one of the two drawers of the room.
She pulled out a small box, which had strange black and white patterns in the front.
"Have you ever played chess?" Never heard of it.
"Well, it's a game... And... No, not really." There's really no point in lying.
"I'll explain it to you, but only once. Let's see how cunning you are." This is going bad already...
"Alright... Although I thought my first battle with you would be with swords not with pieces of chess." I mentioned as soon as she ended explaining the game.
"I still have to test you in other fields." The only thing I've done this week is sweating like a pig after hours of exercise, nothing strange. Unless... Don't think of that.
So... eight Pawns, two Knights, two Rooks, two Bishops, one Queen and one King. Each kind has its own set of moves... but the real kicker is that I have to not only have my own set of tactics and strategy, I also have to predict hers...
I guess this is like a real battle. Pawns are regular soldiers while rooks, knights, bishops and the queen are teigu users. And somehow the King is... wow, like our Emperor. Doesn't really do anything and needs to be protected.
In any case... I'm pretty screwed.
"White has the first move." She briefly explained, observing carefully what I would do.
I guess I'll move this pawn...? It's just the first move, how could I do something wrong?
She didn't say anything, so I'll just assume I did something wrong and she just didn't want to hurt my feelings.
"Tell me, why are the pawns fighting for their king?" She moved one of her middle pawns.
"... I suppose he's done something wrong to be in a war, but if they're fighting to death, I suppose he's a good king" Using the gap I made with a pawn, I moved one bishop. I'm not really sure I should have done that...
"Really? What did he do to deserve such a title?" She moved one of her black knights. Well, that pawn is at risk now... If I move it forward, the pawn she moved will defeat him. But if I don't move it, the bishop can protect him.
Wait, why are we making our own story here?
"I guess he has ended a great famish, punished the corrupts, or is trying to make the town's lives better all together." I responded while moving my white knight similar to hers.
"What a nice king..." She said ironically. She moved another one of her pawns. I should have done that too...
"Why? What is it?" I moved another pawn, once again mimicking her movement.
"It seems that those ideas aren't helping him right now." Oh no... I screwed up!
She used one of her bishops, defeating the pawn I had just moved. And the worse thing was...
"Check." Already?! "If he hadn't been so selfless, perhaps his country would have lasted longer. And now everyone will be enslaved, just because he didn't thought of the consequences of his acts." So she's using this battle to influence me somehow...
"Who says that he was selfless?" I moved back the bishop, and covered that life-threatening gap. "He is married to a beautiful woman, who is also his strongest warrior. He accepted the fact that she could die at any moment, because he loved her. He did it so she wouldn't be alone..." Too cheeky for my liking, but makes sense.
"Perhaps she wasn't alone." She thankfully retreated the bishop that almost ended the match in three turns. "The only thing she wanted was more power, and marrying a King would be delightful for that."
"It's normal. They're just power hungry nobles. It'd be strange if that didn't happen." I decided to move another pawn, not really sure what to do.
"You seem to have a very low perspective of the aristocracy." She wondered for a moment what piece to use, before moving her other black knight. "Then what about the bishop?"
I stopped for a moment to reconsider my strategy. I should really think of my movements. If I moved this Knight next to hers, it would be pretty safe.
"Well, everyone has the right to believe what they think it's right. I don't really believe in god, but I don't mind if somebody does. Oh... I mean, the king wouldn't really care as long as they are loyal." She's trying to see my ideals? Or maybe it was my mistake.
"And that should be a mistake, right?" As soon as I finished my move, her other knight ate my poor pawn. "Just another power hungry beast, trying to leech of the confidence of the king, like you've said."
I have to attack too... I can defeat this pawn with the knight, with no repercussion.
"Then the king should have chosen them more carefully."
As soon as I defeated the pawn, I realized that she was going to make me lose the knight. That freaking bishop... You've taken another piece!
"You should pay more attention to your surroundings." She advised me, not really losing her stance.
"Right..." I'll move this pawn...
"...What did I just say? Check." Oh come on! The freaking bishops are winning this game for her!
"...The freaking king should fight too!" A bit of frustration was starting to build up inside of me, as I moved the king to a safe place... "He should be fighting for his country...!"
"There are people that do that for him. And sadly for him those people are dying." One of her knights, once again, destroyed my bishop.
Damn it... then, perhaps if I move this rook... I'll be able to do a bit of damage.
"Then what about the rook you just moved? The battle is not going well, and yet he's moving forward."
The rook is somebody that has a lot of confidence in the king...
"Well... she's fighting because it's what is right for her, not for the country... just for her king. She just needs a goal in her life..." I grimaced for a second, as her knight put me in trouble again.
I slightly jumped as she placed down the knight quite harshly.
"Check. So it's a she?" D-Did I say she...? Why did the atmosphere thicken all of a sudden?! "So, What did she do to deserve such a praise?"
I gulped as I moved one of my pawns to prevent the check.
"Erm... It's just... She was... She is... The king's sister?" I felt my heart rushing and pleading for more oxygen. I didn't know chess could be so intense!
"Incest isn't well seen in the church. Or in the public in general." She used her bishop once again, eating the pawn that saved my life. "Check."
"W-Why are you saying that all of a sudden...? She just cares for her brother. Like any sister would do." My knight opposed once again her bishop, saving once again the king.
"...Your knights have fallen." She used one of her own knights to accomplish her order, leaving me without my poor white knights. "I think you should speak more about your bishop, before he dies too." Well aren't you nice...
"So... She only fights for her own sake, but she still cares about others... Until she was merciless killed for being too naive. If this world was right... She would still be with m- him." Damn it I said she again!
I moved my queen to vanquish her knight and defend once again my king.
"...Just another victim." She glanced at me for a second before moving her bishop and killed my queen. "And the queen died defending her love... What did you think about her?"
The queen? I can't picture her right now. Esdese is... My opponent which means she's the opponent king or queen. So I guess the queen should be...?
"Whoever she was, the king would be enraged. And that means." My king did something useful, and finally defeated one of her bishops. "Dealing with her murderer."
"And because of that, the king's sister, the rook..." She used her remaining bishop to eat my rook. "Is defeated."
"..." Damn it... That only would fuel the rage of the king, making his troops even stronger.
A lucky pawn finally attacked her bishop, finally avenging most of my fallen pieces.
So I can't even maintain my family safe in a game.
"Tatsumi?"
This is just a game, nothing else. I won't let her make anymore loses. I won't defeat her, but I'll make her pay.
She didn't insist, and moved her queen for the first time.
Come on, if I move my last rook, at least I'll be able to say once...
"Check." I happily said, seeing that even if meaningless, I did something right.
She moved away the king, but I kept pressing.
I know that a check is useless if I don't end the game, but at the very least, I'll return all those checks she did to me.
I moved my bishop, not fearing any bad consequence.
"Check." I said, once again.
This isn't skill, this is just dumb luck. Perhaps I'd feel more proud if I actually knew what I was doing, but I was too busy thinking of a nice story.
She didn't respond, and moved one of her pawns.
I see... if I don't move my bishop, his life will end... But if I take the bait, she'll use her queen and defeat me.
Taking my chances, I moved back the bishop.
"Oh...?" It was the first sound she had done in quite a while. Was it of amusement, or just because it was a bad move?
Her queen advanced again. "Check. You can give up, and we can end this right now." She carefully said, as if trying to prompt an answer.
"As if I would do that." My answer seemed to satisfy her to some extent, as my pawn rushed into the defense of the king.
"You have only one rook left." She said while taking out my bishop. "Fighting now would be useless." You of all people saying that?
"And why would be useless? If I stop fighting, everyone will succumb shortly after. Besides I'll fight to my last breath."
I watched sadly how another pawn was defeated. "Check."
I'll just move my rook here and...!
"If you manage to take out my Queen, I'll give you a reward." I'm kind of freaked out on how she emphasized the word reward, but I'll be the gentle soul and try to be innocent.
"And if I can't...?"
"You're saying that like you can't do it. I thought you'd fight to the last breath?" I said I wouldn't give up, not that I'd be able to do it!
She still has more than me, and I just have three pawns, the rook and the stupid king.
There is absolutely no way I'll be able to do that, but...!
"Alright... There's no reason in fighting a lost battle. I'll retreat for now..." Aw...
Well, it was my first time. At the very least, I left her bishopless... But now the bad part is...
"So... what punishment?" Please nothing that will take my body to another realm. Of pain. Or any kind of sensation.
"I wanted to know more about you, but if you want a punishment..."
"Village! I come from a village in the north." I quickly stopped her from getting up. This sadist isn't going to get me today!
"It wasn't exactly what I had in mind, but it works too." She played with her Queen for a moment before putting it back in the box. I should probably help too.
"Oh... Then what did you want to ask?" I couldn't decipher the look she gave me, but it was so brief I didn't even bother.
"Have you ever loved someone?" She said without taking her eyes off me.
I could really pull the I love my parents card, but I know what she means. I might be very dense sometimes, but I'm not straight out stupid. I don't know if whatever I felt around those people was love, but I definitely wouldn't be here if I didn't love them. But that love is different from what she's asking.
"...Maybe I have. I can't answer a question I don't really comprehend... Aren't you in love with me? You can describe it, and I'll tell you." I didn't say it on purpose, but seeing her blush was something amusing.
"That's not something I can describe... It isn't really a feeling, more like an instinct. It overwhelms you and... I don't know how I know, but I've learnt to love you." She said with a much lighter voice than before.
So, traducing that it would be like... the moment when the what will I do today?, changes to a - What will we do together next?
Or something like that? I don't really know. Shy Esdese isn't really the best thing for my senses.
"Then I guess... Maybe I have felt like that before. Or not... Either way, pretty much everyone I care for are dead. I don't think you should care about that." I stated bluntly.
"I care about you." I felt my heart skip a beat. "Somebody like you shouldn't be saying those things like it's nothing." She should be the last person to say those things...
She shouldn't be saying those things... It's making me feel strange...
"It's true though. If I get attached to someone, they die." I looked at the rook and bishop for a moment, before putting them in the box.
"I won't die, Tatsumi. We'll live and die together."
I felt both scared and relieved at the same time.
I hear sneaky footsteps around the room, then silence, as if the intruder had sensed my sudden awaken.
I'm still asleep, but my body can't catch up.
Please, just leave. Why is my body still asleep? What am I going to do if it attacks me?
"Whaaaaaaa!" I jumped out of the bed and threw the blanket to Esdese who was walking around for something.
"Hey! What's wrong, Tatsumi? Had a bad dream?"
The bright morning sun is shining from the cracked open drapes. What a morning...
She clumsily put back the blanket on the bed, before staring at me with a smile.
"You look full of energy today." I looked at my pants for some reason...
"Yes... I didn't dream of anything. What were you doing?" I almost tried to kill her. Wouldn't work, but hey, I don't want it to happen again.
"I thought you'd like a good morning kiss." Mornings aren't good for kisses. Well, any time of day really. "I also brought you new clothes." She pointed at one of the drawers, without turning around. I thought you had servants or something...
Even underwear...?
"Thanks... I'll change then..." Pushing aside those thoughts, I ignored her blue eyes and approached the drawer.
Why do I need so many shirts... One or two should be enough...
"Do you want a new uniform, Tatsumi? After all, my bodyguard has to be nicely dressed." I could see that she was on a good mood, despite being so early.
Why does everyone hate my coats and jackets?!
"That would be nice, but I don't really want to bother you." I mean, I don't need those nice add-ons that are useless. But I mean, it will only be used for ceremonies and things, right? I can't really think myself like that...
"Don't be so humble now. Not many people know that I have a bodyguard. Shouldn't you be presented with pride and glory?" Don't use glory on me...
"Well... I guess you're right. But I would have liked to not be presented... unless necessary." If I suddenly become a bodyguard of the most fearsome general of the Empire, people wouldn't join me...
"In any case, I can't let you run around with a plain white coat. Besides, I want to give you a present." Eh...? That's nice...
I was still a bit against... changing clothes in the same room. At the very least, she was kind enough to at least turn around...
"It's because the blood is more noticeable in white?" Apart from that incident... I have been able to keep them pretty clean.
"No. It's not your enemies blood you should be worried about. If they see you're bleeding, the enemy will rush at you." But you wear white too... Oh right. I'm not over powered.
"Well, the hemorrhage would kill me anyways. How much time does it take to bleed until it kills me?" It was more curiosity than anything, but it seemed she knew the exact answer.
"Depends of the placement and the gravity. A scratch in your arm won't kill you, but in the carotid... it surely will." She tortures people, so I guess she should know.
"I see... And how much blood can you lose? A... friend of mine lost both arms and didn't lose consciousness. So it must be a lot, right?"
After finally rushing my to wear my clothes, I put a white jacket instead of my usual coat. I felt kind of warm today...
"Both? How much blood did he lose?" She looked pretty surprised for something, but I couldn't really decipher why.
"Well... I don't know. She seemed pretty energetic even for losing her arms. I was pretty surprised..." She was pretty much her usual self, except very happy. Too happy...
"Oh..." She came into realization, before looking at me again."She probably had her body modified."
Seryu? But... She looked very normal... her skin was warm... And she felt soft too...
"But who... That fu...!"No, Tatsumi! Control your anger...
Stylish again?! He tested even more things on Seryu?! She... She probably didn't even know! She wouldn't do those things to herself! And still he...
"That fucking doctor!" I suddenly yelled, as I tried to break through the door with a tackle
"Tatsumi, calm down!" I was almost choked as she grabbed my collar, preventing my whole rage destruction.
She's fast... Ungodly...
"Let me go! I'm fine! Totally!" I took some steps back as she released her grip on me.
Wait a second...
Then... the reason she didn't lost that much blood that time was because...
No. No.
It can't be.
How could she have died from a blood loss?!
If her body was modified so that wouldn't happen...!
Then she isn't...?!
Did Egu lie to me?! No, he wouldn't do that. But then, what did Stylish told him?! I have to... know! I didn't... and I don't want to know how she passed her last moments, but if I can save her...!
I wasn't able to save Ieyasu. I wasn't able to save Sayo. I wasn't able to defend anyone.
But...
If I can save her...!
Seryu...!
"Where's my sword...?" I started to look below the bed for my teigu, where it should be. It's the best place to hide it, because it's right in a too obvious place.
"Somewhere safe." She grabbed it?! "You're too naive sometimes. Do you really think I'll let you go in that state?" I felt her cold glare looking down on me, surely one that meant business.
"There must be a reason, right? You know Stylish. He's part of the Jaegers, the reason I haven't met them all, huh?" I turned around and faced her. "I don't know if you did it for me, or for him. But if you really wanted to hide him, you'd make it less obvious. So, what is it? Come on, don't hesitate. This might be a check, but the outcome is already decided."
The question is... what is stronger? Her love for me, or her loyalty to the Empire?
"...There's a beast below that sheep's clothing. Revenge is useless without a clear objective, so I didn't feel like it was necessary to tell you." No, there's something else. I see something else behind her glare.
"This isn't about revenge. It's about retribution." I stepped aside and opened the door.
"Where do you think you're going? I don't recall giving you permission to leave." I stopped as soon as she said those words, and looked back at her fearing some limb mutilation.
"Let me leave? Please?" Her eyes told me that it wasn't going to be so easy.
"You do know what's your status here, right? I think I've stated it several times." She's saying pretty much that I'm just a dog. I have to follow orders, or be punished. No love is going to save me there...
"...I do." I released my grip on the door. I could feel my frustration growing exponentially. I hate these moments...
"What's the point of having a bodyguard if he isn't around?" She was urging me to answer, or was it a rhetorical question?
"You need an overall change of attitude... How could I do it?" She analyzed me from head to toe before saying anything else. What is she thinking?
No torture, please.
"What do you like?" Well, that wasn't what I was thinking. Is she really thinking I'm going to be honest? But there's no need to lie, I guess. Wait a second...
"Oi, bribes don't work on me!" She giggled at my response.
"Really? It's not that surprising. Then, you want to leave early, right? What could do a loyal bodyguard do for his master?" Eh...?
"Polish... her boots?" I didn't know what to answer. I guess that's what a bodyguard would do? "Ah, take a bullet for her!"
"Fair enough. Impress me, and I'll let you go for an hour."
Damn it! That means Stylish isn't here? She wouldn't let me go so easily if he was here. However, does she know about my sources? She can't know that I know that she doesn't know what I know. I just know that I know, you know?
...What's happening in my head.
"I can... say pretty things." I don't really have any skills apart from fighting. Wow, I'm really useless in socializing. Or anything in particular.
"You wouldn't put your heart in it. Doesn't count." Oh, now that's nitpicking.
Alright then. I'll have to wait... No, I must leave now. In the afternoons I can't do anything, because my, em, superiors are all sitting in their homes like statues. So no missions for me ...If I have to humiliate myself, better to do it alone with her. I have to follow the great teachings of Ieyasu and my masculine side. If I have...
There's a brief gap between being nervous and being in fear. In that small break people screw up, which leaves them to do stupid things. In this moment... I have to forget my personality... Do everything I wouldn't do.
Aside from running away, I'll use everything I have.
If she's the dominatrix, I guess I should be the one being dominated. Thinking that scares me, and that isn't good. I just have to please her in some way... Without going too far.
I slapped myself softly, before chanting to myself.
Come on Tatsumi!
Come on Tatsumi!
I can do it!
"... What do you desire, Esdese-sama." My extremely calm voice scared me, but I kneeled down next to her.
"Oh? You really are doing this?" Was that sarcasm...?
I didn't know her exact emotion, as I wasn't really looking at her. Fearing a bad reaction, I slowly looked up to see what she was doing.
She sat down in the bed right behind her, more relaxed than before. Come on, I'm doing good for now... I think.
What do people do now...? Getting nervous...Not good! I can't lose my cool now!
"Ah..." What are the exact words? "...Shall I massage your legs?" Feet! I meant feet!
"Mm. I allow you to touch me." There was a hint of superiority behind her voice.
My mouth seemed to be running out of words, but nevertheless I approached her. I tried my best to remove her boot as carefully as possible. It's my first time, you know?!
At least she's pretty clean...
Come on... This is for Seryu and everyone. I won't go that far anyways. But what is far enough for her?
"Then..."
I gently rubbed Esdese's legs. I started by massaging her feet, then her heels and then her calf before stopping myself. Judging by her looks, she seems to be enjoying it.
But...
Damn it, I can't massage her thighs! That's uncharted territory! I'm almost in verge of losing my composure. In some way. I can only go so far!
Screw it, I'm already here anyways.
Before I was able to continue, something that I hadn't expected happened.
"That's enough."
Gah! I was as gentle as I could!
"Even if I would have liked more... You did pretty good, for a soldier." She pushed me away with her foot, making me lose my balance.
Well, just realized what I was doing. I'm deep down in the pool of shame...
"So, what is your request?" I tried to get up, but she quickly stopped me with her leg.
I don't like where this is going! Stop!
"W-W-Well, y-you already know! Let me leave for some minutes...!" Stupid dominatrix, I don't want to be controlled!
"If you say so. Do you promise me you will return?" She released me, as she returned to her normal self.
"I don't know why would I leave." She smiled at herself as I said those words.
My heart isn't returning to normal now... Stop doing that doki doki thing!
A few minutes later, I was already running down the streets. I barely felt the slope that surrounded the palace, and it was obvious that I was standing out. It's normal, as you don't want to mess around this part of the capital.
I have to find some excuse to leave the city, but with the time limit I have with Esdese... it's impossible. She won't allow it without a good excuse, and even then I'll have to find some kind of alibi.
My head hurts with the theory already.
I could find an excuse to visit my village, but even in the small chance she lets me, she will want to come...
The HQ will mess around with some mission, and gratefully our General isn't Esdese. So that means a free passage out of town. But then, how the hell will I be able to go north, towards Stylish's secret lab thingy...?
...I'll just say some orders, and I'll leave them on their own. This is more important.
No, I should find some scapegoat... Tell them... my stomach hurts and I'll just...
Something made me stop.
I had already reached my district where things usually are pretty calm. So, obviously when I saw conglomeration in the middle of the streets, I felt pretty shocked.
The soldiers weren't really doing anything, so at first I thought it couldn't be something important. Soldiers protect the citizens, you know? It's not like I've repeated those words a hundred times.
But the way people were yelling in anger made me feel uneasy.
"Are they lynching somebody...?"
That's wrong. Even if that person has done harm... shouldn't he be judged and punished?
But right now, the Empire's justice system is too corrupted for that. He'd probably be released in no time, without charges. Hell, I bet they'd give him money in compensation!
This is for the best...
I forcefully made my way through the crowd, and continued my way towards the barracks. I'll fix those problems someday, but until then I have to do what I do best.
I opened the entrance door, not stopping for anything.
The strangely high number of people here bothered me. There's probably something important going on, but first things first.
"Lieutenant Egu! Come here in this instant!" My voice silenced all the others in the barracks, leaving a quiet and nervous atmosphere in the lobby.
I noticed the uneasiness in the hall, but this was important.
A lone troubled figure appeared in front of me. "Y-Yes, sir?"
"Could we... speak in private?" My throat felt much smaller than it actually was, making my voice feel much heavier than usual.
"Yes, Captain." A couple of worried eyes watched back and forth before we left the lobby.
This should be far enough.
"Answer me. Recall what happened right after Night Raid attacked." Even the slightest hint will be enough for me.
"Eh? Well... We focused into trying to save those who were in critical condition. Didn't really work out... We probably just extended their pain. So... Em... I decided to return to the capital along wit-"
"Skip all that. When did Stylish exactly appeared? Moreover, how was Seryu...?" He seemed to be caught off guard when I suddenly said that.
"Ah, em... Well, you see... She... didn't seem to have much energy left... Like lethargy. I checked her pulse several times, but she was still alive. She didn't say anything. So I guessed she wouldn't last very long..." I could feel my gloomy self trying to get the best of me.
"She... didn't say anything? Not even... a last wish?" He avoided meeting my eyes for a second, as if remembering something he didn't want to think about.
"No. We didn't talk at all." He said in a rather serious tone. Why couldn't a feel at peace with that answer? "She just... cried."
Those last words struck me way harder than they should. It felt like somebody made a hole in my chest, and then proceeded to rip my heart and eat it. I cannot imagine Seryu crying...
"Don't...say anymore. When did Stylish appear?" I guess in the capital, as I found him there... but then...
"Well, he came to us. Like he knew what had happened. I was pretty reluctant about that guy, but as I saw him before with her, I just rolled with it. After that, he locked himself into a room with her and some minutes later he told me that it was... unachievable."
"...And then while I was batting with that guy, somebody came in and snatched her body?" It was more like a statement than a question.
"...Pretty much."
Damn it. After all, I don't know if she's still alive... But I have to punish those who ended her life. Stylish indirectly, and threads guy directly... Both of them.
I can fight Night Raid without suspicion, but Stylish... I have to get him out of the city and quickly. If I want any clues on where he is, I'll have to visit one of his labs. But how?
"...Thanks. But... did she really... not say anything about me...?" Maybe she couldn't talk... It's not that important. It felt wrong, that's it.
"Well, I mean, it's not like she didn't talk. I mean what is talking? It's just saying some words, and then the other one has to understand it. So technically..." The hell is he hiding?
"You know, if you don't tell me the truth in one day. Trust me, I will really do something bad. But we have more important things right now! We! Are leaving for a trip!" I exclaimed with mixed feelings.
"But we can't leave without orders..." He answered, looking at the ground.
"The Empire scares people with power. I'm sure some Major or Colonel wants us to make a field trip or something." Oh wow, what came over me...?
"Ah... so what are we doing?" Scapegoat plan it is.
"I'm going to another place while you and the company ran around." Genius master plan! Now that would be my alibi, if something happens. But how could I make them leave the city?
"But you are the captain...! What are we going to do?" Right... they trust me...
"I wouldn't be doing this if this wasn't for the best." More or less... "I assure you nothing bad will happen."
"And if somebody asks for you...?" Ah damn it. Just say 'Aye aye'!
"Tell them I have... whooping cough or something."
"A-Alright... but we need a superior's approval, right?" That's the tricky part...
"...Let me handle that."
Somehow...
In someway...
At this point, you know I've got two choices, I either actually go through with it, or I say; you know what I'm too scared right now, I don't wanna do it. If I go through with it I'll die, as I must at some point. If I don't go through with it, my choice is essentially to suffer, and then die. I guess you know what's the easier answer.
So that's why I'll kill those two. If there's any way to redeem her, I'll do it. It might be hopeless. It might...
I can't change the direction of the wind. But I can take advantage of it.
Sorry for the delay. I had Wittgenstein up my ass for a whole week. I mean, who even is that, amirite lads?
I'm really writting this in a hurry so... what should I say... Oh yes. Next chapter... HOHOHOHO! Next chapter Tatsumi's fate is going to be sealed forevah!
What else... Oh yeah, I wrote that chess scene like... long ago. It wasn't even Tatsumi or Esdese playing, so I had to adapt it. Maybe there's some symbolism there.
So yeah, kind of a strange name for an arc. And if somebody really figures out why it's called like that... I'll give you a nice cookie. But you really have to discard the obvious, or you will fail! Just think of all my foreshadowing that you probably missed, or you didn't understand because I'm an awful writter. Probably the latter.
I should be studying, so I'll keep it sort. Yes to all those questions. Even if some of them are no... So yes to some, and not to others.
...
Next chapter...it's kind of a spoiler to say, but it has already a title. It will be called "Temporary Alliance"
THAAAAANK YOU so much for reviewing, favoriting or for following!
I'll try to bring this next chapter as soon as possible! I'm finishing my exams this week, so expect lots of... things from now on.
