Thank you so so much once again for your kind reviews. I'm so grateful. and thanks Claire for the advice about the law. I'll definitely use it if you don't mind.

Any suggestion are welcome.


Amanda hoped she could just forget everything. But she couldn't. It was impossible to relax. Olivia was at her side, still whispering comforting words from time to time but it didn't help. Amanda was like in another world, full of regrets and disgust. From what happened maybe but most of all, she was disgusted by herself.

"You won't need to do more talking for today, I promise. There's just one thing we need to decide." Olivia explained slowly.

Amanda didn't answer. She just confided with someone for the very first time. She felt shameful and confused, she just wanted to be left alone.

"I know you wish I could just stop bothering you for now" Olivia softly said while stroking Amanda's hair. "Manda, we need to report this" Liv finally advised.

After what she just heard, the hell Amanda's been through, Olivia wouldn't be satisfied before they had caught these guys.

Amanda didn't share the same point of view. Reporting the assault would mean too much unbearable things to her. Firstly, Nick and Fin would know exactly what happened. Amanda had shared this with Liv and it was only just tolerable. She was already wondering what her boss would think of her now? Besides being a liar, she also was weak and disgusting person. She was probably good for the chop, she thought. Secondly, she felt responsible for what happened to the Brazilian woman and she didn't want to cause her more problems than she already had. Finally, she didn't feel the strength to go trough all this. It was easier to just try to forget and carry on than to face this. She couldn't decide right now what to do. She didn't feel well enough to think. The nausea she felt was intense.

"Honey I know this is hard, but let's try and decide together" Olivia was aware that she was talking to a brick wall and that she already should be grateful that Amanda opened up to her but she couldn't afford to lose more time. Every second they lost was a chance her attackers could use to their advantage.

"You can't let them go with what they did to you, you can't" Olivia insisted. "I'm sorry to push you but, I want you to have the best chance to get justice.

"Liv I.. I feel dizzy.. can you.. just stop?" Amanda mumbled. She didn't mean to sound arrogant, but she couldn't focus on anything at the moment.

Olivia was so obsessed with the deposition that she didn't notice how pale the blonde looked. She decided she should stop being a detective for a second. "Ok" Liv agreed, placing her hand on Amanda's forehead. She didn't seem to have temperature. In her simple answer Amanda heard how caring she was being.

Amanda opened her eyes looking for Liv. "I'm right here" Olivia reassured her.

"Here, drink this. It's just water and sugar" Olivia encouraged as Amanda was already grimacing.

After a few minutes Amanda was feeling better enough to sit down. Her head was still pounding. "Will you.. get mad if I don't want to report the assault?" Olivia didn't have the chance to answer. The doorbell rang three times which made both Liv and Amanda jump.

Liv imagined the worse and rushed towards the spy-hole. She let out her breath when she saw Nick and Fin.

"What are you doing here?" Liv asked looking at Fin

"We have to talk" answered Nick agitatedly

"I see" Olivia understood Nick was getting hard to control and to prevent him to act without a warrant Fin had no other choice than bring him there.

"Fin, why don't you take Amanda in her room?"

Last thing Amanda needed right now was to deal with Nick's anger. Even though he was just trying to help her, Olivia knew this would have the exact opposite reaction and it would get her nervous.

Fin helped Amanda to get up and from the way she grabbed at his arms he understood that she wasn't feeling well. She was unsteady on her feet and hearing Nick's upset voice was not helping her. "It's ok it's not on you.. keep walking" Fin managed to open the guestroom door and helped Amanda to sit on the bed. "Here.. you ok?" He was concerned and sorry to cause her such a distress. "I'm fine.. the world's spinning"

"What you didn't know?" Fin had this ability to always joke even in the worst times. "Let me help" He added. He placed a cushion on the wall behind the bed so that Amanda could rest her head against it and another cushion under Amanda's legs to help the blood circulation.

"Did you eat something?"

"It's been a long day" Amanda mumbled.


In the leaving room, Liv and Nick were also having a conversation.

"I will talk to you Nick but only if you speak softly. Amanda doesn't need to hear you."

"Liv, we got to follow this, this guy on the picture I told you on the phone he.."

"I got you.. I do.. but Amanda's still not sure if she wants to report this and we can't act before she agrees, you know that" Olivia informed, professionally.

"Come on! An svu detective who doesn't report her assault, how are we suppose to be credible?" Nick's words weren't appropriate but he didn't know how else he could just wait and no nothing when everything in her mind told him to act.

"And how is she supposed to trust you if she hears you talking like that, you tell me?" Liv raised her voice a little but only because it was necessary. She knew Nick's intentions were good but he let his feelings guide him so she had to stop him.

"M'sorry Liv.. but.. We can't stay here and do nothing." Nick's frustration was so understandable for Liv.

"I'm working on it" She whispered. "But I need to trust you. You can't just do what you think is fine. Do you get that?"


"Nick's mad" Amanda stated.

"Not with you" Fin answered. It was useless lying to her. "He wants to help. So do I, so does Liv"

"I'm not sure what to do. I can't think right now"

"So don't think. We got this Manda. Let us do our job"

"I can't go to trial, tell this story again and again.. I can't do that" Amanda was worrying for everything, how could they all expect her to make the right decision?

"Let me ask you a question. If it was Liv instead of you, what do you think she should do?"

Amanda stayed quiet for a while. Fin's question was a good one. If it was Olivia, than she should report it, cause Liv' didn't deserve this.

"Manda, look at me. I want these guys, and I need you help."

Amanda couldn't doubt Fin's sincerity. "All right" she whispered, still staring at him.


"Amanda agreed to report her assault" Fin announced going back on the living room

A silence of relief filled the room.

"Good job" Liv finally said. "Nick go and ask Barba for a warrant, Fin take her rape-kit to the lab, I'm taking care of her statement, I already got it, I just need to rewrite it clearly. Come on guys, let's catch these son of a bitches following the rules"


Liv knocked at Amanda's room. "I'm coming in", she announced. Liv turned on the light and Amanda hid her eyes. She couldn't stand the light.

"Do you wanna eat something?" It would be the wise thing to do. Amanda was feeling dizzy and the day has been pretty animated. Amanda got back home for the first time, she opened up about her assault and she just agreed to report it.

"M'sorry Liv.. I.. can't"

"It's ok, It's been a tough day… I'm really proud of you"

Amanda sighed. "Yeah"

"It's ok to feel lost.. It's ok te be afraid"

"I don't know how I feel.. I'm just empty" Amanda looked away. Will the feeling of shame ever leave her?

"Well, that's ok too" Liv reassured her. "I could stay here for tonight, if you prefer"

Why should Amanda answer? She had no idea. She couldn't think. What was the right answer? What was she supposed to do? How would she manage to go through all this? "I'm not sure about.. all this" Amanda admitted. Of course she didn't answer Liv's question.

"Well, you're not doing this alone. We've got time to figure it out.."

Liv wanted to know how Fin managed to convince her, but she didn't dare to ask now. She would probably question Fin later, to satisfy her curiosity, or maybe not, after all, the important was Amanda was trusting them and they would do their best to help her.

"Go to sleep honey… I'll be right here"