AN: Enjoy! This is one of the last chapters...

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Unloved

Chapter 12: Underneath the Haori

First thing Renji had in mind after he had left Aizen's chambers was to find Rikichi. It was seven in the morning and he had some things to do before he left for the real world. While he was walking to the barracks of the 6th Division, many shinigami turned to look after him.

There were still whispers, but no one dared to say anything out loud, for it was in the nature of the shinigami to be eccentric; therefore it was somewhat alright to be bisexual, homosexual or, simply, different. But the very fact that those two had been together, and that nobody hadn't noticed that for the whole ten years, that was the thing they had been moslty talking about.

Many shinigami were openly homosexual, but still, Yamamoto had been worried and had made Byakuya and Renji say something about it to the public, just to be sure. Still, those whispers behind his back, no matter how benign, they still bothered the redhead. He felt as if he had been marked, and was mostly afraid of Byakuya's reaction. What if it was the same for the noble to be discovered? Still, the night before, Byakuya hadn't seemed embarrassed by it at all.

The morning was fresh, had just been showered with rain. It was fall, and it gave such a strange note to the surroundings. The air was somewhat cold and humid, and it had a scent of wet, rotten leaves. It had a scent of sorrow and worry.

Renji felt so sleepy, and the bad weather was making it even worse. Someting clenched in his heart, like a fist made of iron, so heavy. And his stomach felt similar. On his way to find Rikichi, he was thinking about his night of passion with Byakuya.

Why had they done it? He could say that he had been drunk, but it would be a lie. When he had run after Byakuya, the fresh air had hit him in the head, making him somewhat sober. So why? Why had they slept togther?

It had just been longing and nothing more. Just the way his body and heart had felt, and had 'shook hands in agreement'....That's why. Because it had seemed so right and none of them had thought about the future.

He had discovered last night another fact that left him shocked, and made him sad instead of making him happy. Byakuya loved him. He had been forced to go against their relationship. He had never felt the same with Fumiko as he had felt with Hisana. He never wanted to.

Renji knew that Byakuya had no reason to lie, for if he wanted to bring Rukia back, he would have to do it on his own. Renji was not the one to help him, and was determined when it came to that. If Byakuya didn't love him, he would never come to him, would never even talk to him, for he was a noble, and was good-looking, and could always find someone of his caliber. Byakuya was too proud to let himself put his guard down for 'a mere fuck'. Renji knew that. He knew, as well, that when you make love to the dark haired shinigami, you can always feel his true feelings, through his touches, kisses, eye contact...

The redhead knew him too well. He knew Byakuya had his own reasons, and that Renji just didn't fit in his plans. And that had nothing to do with his former lover's true emotions. Renji never held grudges against him. But he still had his pride and shattered pieces of heart. He couldn't decide if he should forgive or not. It depended on what Byakuya's next step was.

"What's wrong, Renji-san? You wanted to see me?" Rikichi was standing before him, waiting patiently. The little guy respected Renji so much and admired him, and Renji had a feeling that he could trust him.

"I need you to..." he started. "Don't ask why or anything. It's just...I have an assignment for you." He placed his hands on the shoulders of the smaller, pushing him aside, in one corner. He leaned down to the level of Rikichi's ear. The younger was taken aback, anticipating. "I need you to follow Captain Kuchiki for me. Got it? Whatever happens, Rikichi..." he finally said, whispering. "Send a hell butterfly through the nearest Senkei gate to me."

The smaller didn't like how it sounded.

"Renji-san, " he whispered back. "What for? What's wrong?"

Renji didn't have time to explain. He stepped back, releasing his shoulders.

"Just do as I say, get it? And don't say a word to anyone. I believe in you." with those words, he left.

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Ichigo and Rukia were waiting for Renji on Sokyoku hill. Despite the orange-haired guy's effort to be funny and entertain her, the tension between them never ceased. He knew that his chances of ever being with the shinigami he loved were extremely small, but he still hoped. He had loved Rukia for so many years, before admitting it to her. And then, it took them so long to get engaged. And when his life had become something he could only dream of: he had become a captain, he and Rukia had been so compatible, even the baby had been on the way. But no. He had to sleep with Orihime, to let himself be driven by passions. He hated himself for that.

She had disowned Byakuya, and despite that she had their baby back, she was melancholic. The Strawberry was trying to entertain her so much, making grimaces, but no reaction from her.

'I was too harsh on Nii-sama' she thought, while looking for her redhead friend with her eyes, in the mist. He was late.

"Rukia, are you cold?" Ichigo asked. She just shook her head, absentmindedly.

'It was just that moment of happiness, when she smiled at me yesterday...Now she's her old self, sad Rukia who I had betrayed' he thought, averting his eyes from her in shame. 'It's all my fault.'

He heard the steps approaching them. Renji appeared from the mist, running. He looked so tired, Rukia noticed.

"It was about a damn time!" Ichigo shouted, but as if Renji didn't hear him. Usually, they would start to fight immediately. It was as if Renji ignored him on purpose.

"Renji, are you alright?" she asked. He nodded in affirmation.

"Are you cold?" he asked, seeing how she folded her arms.

"A little bit" she replied.

"Then here, take this" he took his kimono off and gave it to her. "There."

She smiled at him. Ichigo frowned at this.

"I asked you a second ago and you said nothing." he said.

"She doesn't want to dirty your haori, Strawberry." Renji hissed at him. "Now shall we, please?"

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Byakuya headed to the office that morning, exhausted from the night before. His lips still pulsed from Renji's kisses, and he could still feel his touches, caresses, tickling of that beautiful, shiny crimson. He was determined to prove his love. After this, he knew it was worth it. Rukia's words had shown him the way, had shown him what he really wanted.

He was not the one to break the rules this time, he knew. He still hadn't done anything wrong. He wouldn't get engaged to Fumiko. No. This time, it was the time to be selfish. He would win Renji back. And Rukia. And then...

He closed his eyes. How come that those two managed to make him a puddle of love and sorrow? Why did he love them so much?

Renji...

At first, it had just been disdain. Pure disdain. Then, he had been intrigued by the redhead's determination to oppose him, to save his childhood friend no matter what. Later on...he had acknowledged Renji as a true fighter, as a capable lieutenant worth of his respect. But how had it come to love? How had it come to such pain?

Renji...

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TBC............