*In Joey Russo's voice* WHOA! How long has it been? So, so, so, so sorry guys. I had major writer's block again, yuck. But good news is that I have an exceptionally long chapter here for you guys! But I must warn you though, it's a bit wordy. And by the time you get to the end I still had more to write, but I decided to write the other chunk in chapter 10 (or chapter 13 if you consider the prologues as chapters). :P
Also, I wanted to thank those who left additional reviews telling me they wanted me to update. You don't know how much motivation that gave me, really. And to that one reviewer, thanks so much! KITTY was the anonymous username I believe. Any who, your tips were extremely helpful and I tried to apply some of what you said to this chapter as much as I could.
SETTING: Tanner Kitchen
TIME: 7:03am
YEAR: 1995
"Danny, are you sure you're ready to go back to work? You know the station did say you could take as long as you need. There's no need to rush." Joey said, following Danny into the kitchen in a worried tone. He didn't understand why Danny was heading back to work so soon just a week after DJ's burial and a mere three weeks since the news of her passing. Joey knew Danny was not in the right state of mind and that going back to work was a rather irrational decision to be making at the moment.
"Yes Joey, for the umpteenth time, I'm sure I want to go back. I realized that staying home with nothing to do has been anything but beneficial to me this past week." Danny sighed, slightly shaking his head. "Going back to work will…take my mind off a few things, keep me busy enough not to think so much." Danny slipped on his jacket and grabbed a hold of his brief case and gave Joey a wry smile. "Thanks for the concern, Joey, but I think this is for the best…" Danny didn't wait for Joey's response for he was already out the door.
Joey released a sigh. He hoped this sudden urge to go back to work would be the best for Danny. But deep down, Joey knew it was a way to avoid the reality that his daughter was gone. He knew Danny was still in the state of mind he was when he found out the news of DJ and that worried Joey.
But he wanted to give his best friend the benefit of the doubt. Joey figured if going back to work so soon was his way to cope with everything that was going on than it was more power to him. It was better than him going out and doing something outrageous or harmful to himself. Anything was better than that.
"Morning, Joey" Stephanie said coolly as she made her way down the stairs with Michelle not too far behind.
Joey smiled at the sight of them; they seemed to be holding up okay. "Morning, girls! I made you guys' favorites –chocolate chip pancakes and blueberry waffles!"
Stephanie frowned. "Uh, thanks Joey, but no thanks. I'm not that hungry this morning. I think I'll just have an apple or something." Stephanie shrugged carelessly.
Joey frowned. "Steph, you haven't eaten a full breakfast for the past few days…are you sure you don't want any?"
Stephanie nodded. "Yes, I'm sure. Thanks anyways, Joey." And with that, she briskly grabbed an apple and slung her backpack over her shoulder and was out the door.
Joey still wore that same frown. Maybe he had spoken too soon.
"I'll take the blueberry waffles, Joey."
Joey smiled in awe as he went and sat the plate in front of Michelle. She smiled gratefully and began chowing down on the food like she hadn't eaten in days.
He could understand why. It had been several weeks since any Tanner has actually sat down and had a nice breakfast at the table like they used to.
In fact, Joey couldn't recall the last time they actually did that, possibly a month ago, he couldn't remember and quite frankly, that was sad…
"Thanks, Joey! They were delicious!" Michelle replied springing up out of her chair, breaking Joey from his thoughts. He hadn't realized how fast Michelle had finished her breakfast. It had to be in record time.
"Have a good day at school Michelle." Joey said as he kissed the youngest Tanner girl on her forehead and watched her depart cheerfully.
He was glad Michelle was still well in her spirits. It was refreshing. Perhaps, it was because she was just a little too young to fully comprehend the concept of death. He frowned, thinking of the day when it was going to finally register for Michelle that her elder sister was never coming back.
She will most definitely be crushed and he wasn't sure he wanted to be there to see it…
Salty tears leaked from DJ Tanner's eyes as she lay unclothed and buried under thick covers with her uncle's arm slumped across her bare frame, snoring lightly.
Her eyes dreadfully wandered around the all too familiar room –the attic. She hated this attic. Not only did it give her the creeps but it was the room that her Uncle Jesse and Aunt Becky shared. It felt wrong. It always felt wrong to her but for some reason DJ always felt worse when her uncle would bring her up to he and Becky's domain and have his way with her on their bed, where he sleeps with her every night.
This particular time, DJ felt sick to her stomach. She had missed her prom. Her senior prom. The last high school dance she'd ever be attending. She didn't go all because of Jesse, good ol' Uncle Jesse and his jealous and possessive ways. He didn't want her to go; he wanted her all to himself tonight.
Though he didn't admit it, she knew the real reason he didn't want her go was because she would have the chance to mingle with other guys besides him and he couldn't handle that. So he waited just hours before dropping the news on her that she wasn't going to go to her prom.
She tried to convince him and stress how much she wanted to go and how she had already bought her dress and was planning to attend with Kimmy, but he didn't seem to care the least bit.
He told her she didn't have a choice and to go to her father and tell him that she didn't want to go. She cried her eyes out, literally. Then finally after she somewhat got herself together, she went and informed her father that she didn't have interest in going to her prom this year.
DJ could tell he was taken aback by the news providing that she had been yapping about going to her senior prom since her freshman year. He was shocked a bit apprehensive, but he finally accepted and respected her decision.
The worst part was when she had to call up Steve and make up some lame excuse as to why she couldn't go. He was devastated and practically begged for her to change her mind. At that, she felt a pain in her heart as she stated that not going was her final decision and that she was sorry for wasting his time and waiting until hours before the prom to tell him she was not going.
Her heart literally broke when he told her he was the one who was sorry and then hung up. She shed a few tears, silently wondering what she did to deserve a life like the one she had.
Did she stomp on someone's grave in another life, and she was paying for it now. She had no idea. But she knew once she graduated and went off to Stanford. All her problems would disappear and she'd be able to get away from the wicked clutch of her uncle.
And here she was, the night of her prom, where she should be having the time of her life, celebrating her last year of high school and getting into Stanford with her fellow peers and friends. But here she was, all alone, in the arms of the person who was the source to all her pain and suffering… her uncle. Precisely the way he wanted it…
"Deej…" she heard him murmur as he stirred in his sleep. A tired smile tugged at the sides of his face as he kissed the side of her head and pulled her closer. "I love you…" he whispered in her ear, soothingly.
DJ could feel his fingers creep briskly down her abdomen to her sacred area.
DJ's eyes flutter shut as she bit down on her lip, fighting a moan desperate to escape.
It was something about the way his lips caressed each part of her skin and the way his fingers danced around in her sacred area, sent a reluctant sensation through her bod.
Her chest heaved up and down as he seemed to be going in a circular motion with his fingers.
"Don't hold back," he murmured in her ear. "Let it out…"
DJ finally fluttered her eyes open and gazed over at him, his eyes filled with lust. She finally released a loud moan as she felt his fingers pick up the pace in its rhythm.
She could feel the moistness building up as he went faster and faster. She wanted to tell him to stop, but the feeling he was giving her was too overpowering for her to even speak.
She finally let out a breath of relief as she closed her eyes, desperately trying to catch her breath. She could see the sly grin spread across his face as he gently removed his fingers from inside her and brought them to his mouth.
She watched as he licked and sucked her juices from his fingers like it was the most delicious thing he's ever tasted. Her heart pounded against her chest as he lips connected with hers sloppily making her taste her own juices.
She hated how he was making her feel. A feeling she had never felt before. It was a foreign, yet euphoric feeling.
As his body hovered over hers, he leaned down to the side of her face. "I know you want this as much as I do…" he whispered in a husky voice that sent chills down her spine. "N-No…" she managed to mutter out as he began placing kissing down her neck. "No…" she repeated as she felt him nibble on her sweet spot, she fluttered her eyes closed. "N-No Uncle Jesse…no." she tried to withhold the moan that inevitability escaped passed her lips.
She mentally kicked herself for it.
She wanted to slap the smug smile he had on his face right off, but she couldn't. She was frozen, like she was under his spell and she hated it. She wished so badly that she was with Steve, at their prom. She wondered what he was doing. Even though they had broken up, they agreed to go as friends, but now that was down the drain and the thought of that brought tears to her eyes.
She hadn't realized Jesse had her in a straddling position on top of him, his hands placed on her hips as he forced her hips to move up and down on his leaky hose.
The sudden contact made her wince. She grabbed a hold of his arms as he flipped her over and kept going faster and faster. She desperately tried to resist and combat with him, but like the many other times, it was no use. He was too strong.
He held her down as he continued to invade her temple once more. She continued to shed salty tears, wishing the night would be over…
"Jess…Jess are you there?"
Jesse blinked as he stared off into space at nothing in particular. The sound of little kids from afar swinging on swings and laughing their childish giggles is what brought Jesse back to reality. He took in his surroundings and realized his routine walk with Comet had led him to the park where he often took the girls when they were young.
A bark from Comet and the sound of Becky's voice made him flinch. "Uh, yeah, yeah I'm here Becks. What were you saying, honey?"
Jesse mentally cursed at himself for allowing himself to zone out like that. It seemed to be happening more frequently, as if having his dreams consumed by her wasn't enough.
He led Comet to a nearby bench and sat down and watched as Comet settled down by his feet.
"Jess, are you sure you're alright? I know a lot has been going on the past couple of weeks and I know me being gone isn't helping the situation –"
"Becky, I told you I'm fine. Yes, the timing couldn't have been more off, but that's life. I'll be fine. Stay with your mother for as long as you feel the need to. I completely understand – really."
Jesse could hear the sigh on the other line. "Jess, I – are you sure?"
Jesse smiled weakly. "I'm positive."
"Oh Jess, you don't know how good it feels to hear you say that because my mom, she–she isn't doing so well."
Jesse could sense the stress in her voice. "What is it, Becky?"
There was a pause on the other line as Becky struggled to find the words. "Jess, the doctors say she…the doctors say she's in the early stages of Alzheimer's disease! Connie says she's been really moody lately and forgets the simplest things, like where the television remote is when she's holding it or her reading glasses when she's wearing them. It's scary Jess and her doctors say it's only going to get worse as time progresses. She's not going to even remember who I am or who Connie is!" Becky then burst into tears over the phone.
Jesse was speechless and could only imagine what Becky was feeling. Losing a parent was hard. He couldn't imagine losing either of his parents, especially to something as severe as Alzheimer's. "Oh Becky, I'm so sorry…" he spoke into his cellular sincerely.
It took just about forty-five minutes for Jesse to finally calm Becky down. Once they finally said their, I love you's and goodbyes, Jesse released a heavy sigh.
It didn't sound like Becky was coming home anytime soon. He wasn't exactly sure how he felt about it. But he knew she had to be with her mother and he would do nothing but support her. That's all he could really do at this point.
"Come on Comet, time to go." He said as he arose from the bench and stretched, slightly tugging on Comet's leash.
He received a whimper from Comet as the dog reluctantly rose to his feet and followed his owner.
"Steph, Stephanie! Stephanie, wait!"
Stephanie peered over the crowd of students in the hallway as she searched for the one calling her name. She was shocked to see who it was as she made her way through the crowd, casually pushing people to the side.
"Gia?" Stephanie spoke, lifting her eyebrows.
Gia smiled nervously as she padded her Minnie skirt and tank top down and tucked a piece of brunette hair behind her ear, "Hey, Steph. I, um, I know it's been a while since we talked. I meant to call you sooner but, I wasn't sure."
Stephanie stayed silent as she listened intently. Gia continued. "I, um, I heard about what happened to your sister. I wanted to tell you in person how sorry I am Steph, for everything that happened between us. I'm sorry for being such a witch and a bad friend. I shouldn't have let that Ryan guy come between us. After hearing about what happened to your sister, it made me realize that life is short and if you're lucky enough to find good people in your lifetime, you have to cherish them." Gia paused, "I'm sorry, Steph. This time, I sincerely mean it."
Stephanie stared into the sincere hazel eyes of Gia Mahan and realized she truly was sorry. She had to admit, she missed having her around. Especially with everything going on, she really needed a friend she could trust.
She knew she and Gia's relationship wouldn't be back to the same way it was before and that she couldn't immediately fully trust her yet, it would take time to build back the trust that was broken.
But she knew Gia was right. Life was short and when you are blessed enough to find great people in life, you have to cherish them. Tomorrow isn't promised for anyone. It was time to let bygones be bygones.
Stephanie smiled weakly. "I forgive you, Gia."
Stephanie watched as Gia's face lit up with genuine happiness. "What?"
"I said I forgive you, Gia. Your right, life is short, too short to be holding onto a grudge against someone for something that happened last year. It's time to live and let live, so with that being said, I forgive you."
Gia looked astonished as she covered her mouth and smiled happily. "Oh, Steph! I missed you so much!" Gia ran and engulfed Stephanie with a hug. Stephanie smiled and returned the hug. "I missed you too, Gia. But there's one thing I have to set straight before we become friends again." Stephanie pulled away from the hug, looking Gia straight in the eye.
As Gia's eyes gazed into hers, Stephanie could see they held confusion and slight fear.
Stephanie cleared her throat. "I want you to know that our friendship will never be the same or the way it used to be and that my trust in you as of now is broken and it's going to take time for me to completely trust you again. Things are not going to be immediately back to the way it used to be."
Gia frowned and looked ashamed, but nodded solemnly. "I understand Steph. I deserve it. I'm just grateful to have my friendship back with you. I truly missed you Steph. You're my best friend and when I heard about your sister, I felt awful. I wanted to call you up so badly, but I didn't want to make things worse so I didn't." She shook her head shamefully. "I can't believe I was stupid enough to let a guy come between us." Gia sighed. "I really am sorry Steph. If it makes you feel any better, he ended up cheating on me and he put his hands on me…" Gia blurted shamefully.
"What!" Stephanie exclaimed loudly. "He did what?!"
"Shh, Steph." Gia hushed her as she glanced around at the passing students in the hallway. "Come with me."
Before Stephanie could respond, she was being dragged by Gia down the halls of Bayview High School and into the girl's bathroom away from the prying eyes and perked up ears. She watched as she checked underneath and in every stall. When she seen that it was just her and Stephanie, she finally faced Stephanie and released a heavy sigh.
"It had been a couple weeks after you found out about him and me. We had gotten into a heated argument about me accusing him of cheating. I told him that a couple days prior I had caught him flirting and making out with the school slut, Heather Sinclair and he actually denied it and called me a stalking, clingy bitch and that I needed to get a life. I told him to stop acting like a bitch and just own up to the fact that he was cheating and that's when…"
Stephanie watched as she paused. She looked like she was about to cry. She sniffled and slowly looked up. "That's when he, you know…slapped me."
Stephanie was completely baffled, she was actually speechless. Gia continued...
"He-He immediately apologized afterwards. He said that he had just had a horrible day at school and work and that he was under tremendous stress from his parents pressuring him about getting a wrestling scholarship. At the time, I believed him so I stayed with him…"
"Oh, Gia…"
Gia sniffled again. "I stayed with him almost throughout the whole summer before our sophomore year, the hitting never stopped. I was just too damn scared to leave him…that's until one night he…he had called me up and told me to come over. I told him I couldn't and that it was too late and I'd get in major trouble with my mom. But he didn't care. He threatened if I didn't come then the next time he'd see me he'd beat me and this time he wouldn't stop. So I snuck out and walked to his house..."
Stephanie gasped, "In the middle of the night?! Gia, do you know how dangerous that is?!"
Gia shook her head sadly. "I was more scared of what would happen to me if I didn't go, Steph." She sighed. "When I got there he immediately pushed me against the wall and started kissing me roughly and trying to take my clothes off –"
"Oh gosh...Gia please don't tell me he…"
Gia shook her head. "No, he didn't. But he almost did. I told him that I wasn't ready. He got angry and started slapping me around, accusing me of sleeping with other guys and that if they were going to get some from me then he was going to as well." Gia swallowed hardly. "He threw me on the floor and attempted to get on top of me but I ended up drop-kicking him in the nuts and was able to get away thankfully…"
Stephanie had to pick her jaw up from the ground as she blinked several times, slowly letting everything Gia had said to her register. "S-So is that why you were absent that whole week…"
Gia slowly nodded as her eyes were now bloodshot. "Gia, my goodness I had no idea…" Stephanie pulled Gia in a bear hug and as Gia hugged back, she slowly broke down in her arms.
"Don't be sorry for me, Steph. I deserved this. I betrayed you. I cheated with your boyfriend. This serves me right, dammit!"
"Gia, stop it! You didn't deserve this! No deserves to go through what you went through. Ryan was the jackass who didn't deserve either of us."
Gia just continued to sob in her shoulder. Stephanie sighed, stroking her thick, brunette locks. It was silence as a couple of girls came in; they regarded her and Gia with looks of confusion and curiosity.
Stephanie rolled her eyes. "Her boyfriend just broke up with her, nothing to see here." Stephanie said as she shooed them away with annoyance.
Stephanie heard them whisper something inaudible as they left the bathroom. She figured they were a bunch of girls who had no lives of their own and were going to spread the word of what they saw in the girls' bathroom and put their own twist to it.
"Thanks," Gia spoke softly as she lifted up from Stephanie's shoulder. She sniffled multiple times as she desperately wiped her eyes, smearing her eyeliner. Stephanie handed her a tissue and watched as she hopelessly tried reapplying her smeared makeup.
"For what," Stephanie replied furrowing her eyebrows.
Gia sniffled again as she carefully reapplied her liner to her bottom lashes, she then turned to Stephanie. "For being such an amazing friend to me even though I have been nothing but the complete opposite."
Stephanie sighed. "Gia, please stop beating yourself up over this. People make mistakes. Even the best of friends make mistakes and they forgive each other. It's what friends do."
Gia sighed in frustration. "It's just…I feel so guilty and can't help but feel like I got my just desserts. You didn't deserve to get hurt like that."
"And you didn't deserve to be hit by that jerk, okay? I have forgiven you already, G. Why is it so hard for you to forgive yourself?"
Gia stared down and remained silent, all was to be heard was the shuffling of Gia putting her makeup back in her pouch and into her backpack. She turned to Stephanie and gulped.
"Because the same thing that I did to you, someone had done to me…"
Stephanie eyes widen. "What?"
She sighed. "It was in the eighth grade, I had a friend, a best friend actually. Her name was Shelby Miller. We had known each other since diapers. We both had single mothers so that made us extremely close. We were the of best friends… like sisters actually..."
Gia continued. "There was this guy, his name was Travis… I remember I liked him so much. He had curly, thick black hair that fell in his eyes which were a gorgeous shade of green. He had the most adorable dimples. I remember how much I used to talk about him to Shelby…I knew at times she would get annoyed with me talking about the same guy over and over again that I never had the courage to ask out. But finally, one day she told me she had a friend who had a class with him and asked me if I had wanted that friend to talk to him for me. I immediately agreed with excitement. I was even more excited when she told me he liked me too and that he wanted me to meet him behind the bleachers of the football field after school that day. I was extremely excited and it seemed like that day took forever to end. Then finally, school was over and I made my way to the football field and over behind the bleachers…I can still recall how hurt, betrayed, and angry I felt to see my best friend having sex with the one boy my life revolved around. He was all I thought about, day and night and she knew that. But there she was, screwing him right in front of me, purposely." Gia shook her head in a reminiscent manner. "I never spoke to her from that point on and she's never spoken to me either. I ended up moving and never seeing her again. I never forgot what she did to me though…I never did…"
Stephanie was further shocked. "Oh my goodness…I'm-I'm so sorry Gia."
Gia shook her head in disapproval. "That's why it's so hard for me to get over what I did to you, because I know how it felt and always told myself I'd never do to another what was done to me and yet I did it anyway."
Stephanie pursed her lips and made her way to Gia and placed her hand on her shoulder. "You're not Shelby, Gia and you will never be her. You know why?"
Gia gazed over at Stephanie with an innocence of a child. "Why?"
"Because Gia, you did something she never did. You apologized. You were truthful about genuinely being sorry. You realized your mistake and was willing to put yourself out there to make things right and that's why I forgave you, Gia. You're my best friend and I love you, okay?"
Gia cracked a weak smile through her light tears. She and Stephanie embraced tightly.
"Thanks, Steph. I love you too."
The two finally got themselves together, but realized they had missed a whole period and decided to just skip for the rest of the day. Stephanie knew she'd most likely be in trouble when she got home, but for this one time, it actually seemed worth it…
A/N:
In case you all didn't know, Ryan is the guy who stood Stephanie up on episode 22, season 8: "All Stood Up" played by Andrew Keegan. (😍) I chose him because, well, I thought he'd be good for the role and it would just make sense. Plus, I think he was the hottest love interest Stephanie had on the show. Also, in case you all didn't know who Connie was when Becky was talking to Jesse, it's her sister Connie. The one who had the son named Howie. I'm not 100% sure if that was her name or not but that's what it says from the sources I looked at. If anyone knows for sure what exactly Becky's sister's name was, by all means, let me know. :)
