This was my favorite chapter so far!
Chapter 12:Act one,Scene 11: The French Castle
Espio and his Knights find themselves in front of a castle wall. Espio looks up at the top.
"Hello…" He yells, after a moments silence with no response Espio yells "Hello." When Bean the Duck appears from the top of the wall wearing a costume I can only describe as a bullet.
"'Allo. Whoo is eet?" Bean says in a French accent.
"It is Arthur and these are my Knights of the Round Table. Whose castle is this?"
"This is the castle of my master, Guy de Lombard."
"Go and tell your master that we have been charged by God with a sacred quest, and if he will give us food and shelter for the night he can join us in our quest for the Holy Grail."
"Well, I'll ask him, but I don't think he'll be very keen. He's already got one, you see?" Espio looks at the others; they're surprised as he is.
"What?" He asked.
"He says they've already got one!" Knuckles exclaims.
"Are you sure he's got one?" Espio asks, turning back to Bean.
"Oh, yes. It's very nice."
"Well…erm…can we come up and have a look?"
"Of course not! You are English types."
"Well, what are you then?"
"I'm French. Why else do you think I have this outrageous accent, you silly King."
"What are you doing in England?" Knuckles shouted up.
"Mind your own business." Bean snapped.
"If you will not show us the Grail we shall take your castle by force." Espio cut in.
"You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil you bottoms, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called Arthur-King, you and your K…niggits."
"What a strange person." Knuckles said to Espio.
"Now look here, my good man…" Espio started.
"I don't wanna talk to you no more. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries."
"Is there someone else up there we could talk to?" Knuckles asked.
"No. Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time." Bean said.
"Now this is your last chance. I've been more than reasonable…" Espio said. Bean is not longer listening, but instead begins throwing chickens and goats at them.
"Run away!" Espio yells and runs for the safety of a nearby rock; followed closely by Sonic, Shadow, Silver, Knuckles and Ray.
"Fiends! I'll tear them apart!" Shadow states and begins to get up, Espio pulls him back down. "No, no, no, no!"
"Sir, I have a plan." Silver says grinning slyly. After several minutes, the six are pushing out an enormous wooden rabbit, leave it by the front gate and run for their hiding place. Bean and Bark, wearing the same costume as Bean look out at the rabbit and quickly run out to admire it.
"Hey everyone, come look at this!" Bark yells; people dressed in French clothing plus a mime, run out and start taking about what it is. The mime finally shakes his head and does a rocking motion with his arms like he was holding a baby, then he was throwing it into the air, he looked down at his hands waiting for the imaginary baby to come down. He frowned and looked up, then imaginarily hung himself.
"Oh yes, I knew that!" the all agreed and pushed the rabbit into the castle.
"Maybe it's filled with chocolate, like and Easter Bunny!" Bean exclaimed, hurrying after the crowd. The Knights come out for their hiding spot.
"What happens now?" Espio asked Silver.
"Well, now, Lancelot, Galahad, and I wait until night fall and then leap out of the rabbit, taking the French by surprise, not only by surprise but totally unarmed!" Silver explains.
"Who leaps out?" Espio asks.
"Er…we…Lancelot, Galahad, and I…leap out of the rabbit and…" Espio grabs the bridge of his nose and shakes his head. Shadow covers his eyes, also shaking his head.
"Um… if we built this large badger…" Silver began, Espio hit Silver in the head. Bean suddenly appears on top of the castle wall again; he looks like he had been crying.
"This is the worst thing you ever done to the French." Bean sniffed. "Fetchez la vache!" Bean exclaimed as he disappeared behind the wall.
"If my French is right, 'Fetchez le vache' means 'Fetch the cow'." Silver said turning to his gang.
"What are they gonna do with a cow?" Espio laughed. A cow suddenly flew over the castle wall and landed on top of Ray.
"Run away!" Sonic yelled.
"Run away!" Knuckles screamed.
"Run away!" Ray yelled.
"Run away!" they all shouted at once and began to run the stage like something was chasing them.
Run away Run away
Run away from the stench and the trenches
Run away Run away
From these horrible nasty old Frenchies
These frogs with their terrible prattle
Are fighting a battle with cattle!
We're all full of fear so let's get out of here
Run away! Run away! Run away!
You English are bugger folk
Your mothers are all rugged folk
Your army is a bloody joke
You couldn't beat an artichoke.
If battle you choose to renew
We'll taunt you till you all turn blue
We turn our arses as you part
In your direction we all fart.
Then the French fart the Marseillaise…using trumpets (O0)
"Fetchez Les Can-Can dancers!" Bark Exclaims. The English run into the line of Can-Can girls.
Run away! Run away! Run away!
Run, Run, Run, Run, Run, Run Away!
Run Away! Run Away! Run Away!
The English and the French began to run on and off the stage; except for Sonic, who just rolled up in a ball and sat there for a minute. Sonic stood up, looking pleased with himself immediately turned around and went the other way as Three French guards carrying a forth like a battering ram charged at him. Shadow, now wielding his sword, was chasing the mime, which was in a long skirt. Espio and a Can- Can girl, um… lets make it Waffle, both had one of those long French bread things ran onto the stage and had a sword fight with them; Waffle won, She grabbed Espio's breadstick…thing and chased him holding out both and Espio ran from them as if they were real weapons. And Silver was riding one of the French guards who quickly knocked him off; Silver ran for his life. Then the English ran forward and away from the French castle; animals were shot at them as a projector screen came down to shoot animated animals at them.
Run Away!
Run Away Run Away
It seems like a helpful solution
Run Away Run Away
To avoid this French Revolution
The English stopped realizing that they were no longer being pelted with livestock and took a break.
We're stuck in a nasty position
Why don't you take a short intermission
Have a drink and a pee
We'll be back for Act Three
"Two Sir." Ray corrected Espio.
Two.
Run Away, Run Away, Run Away, Run Away
Run Away
Run, Run, Run, Run, Run Away, Run Away!
The group again starts to run as they see the wooden Rabbit fly at them and they all run off the stage.
