Author's note: After reading Protonix's review of this chapter before its changes and talking with him about ways to improve it, I decided it was best if I don't rush into what happened originally and save that for later. So while the majority of this chapter is the same, I thought it'd be best if I re-write the ending and give this chapter a slightly different purpose.
This chapter will be the same as it was before, but for those who have already read it once, read through it again for the differences. I feel like it's a lot better now than it was before.
Chapter 11:
Conflicted Feelings
The light from the night circle lit up the canyon for Cera and Thorn, even though it was the dead of night. Neither threehorn had ever seen the night circle shining so brightly before, but they couldn't complain aside from it being a small reason they hadn't gotten to sleep yet. The big reason was an obvious one. Sleep couldn't come easily to them while they were out in the open, where sharpteeth could easily spot them. Cera and Thorn hadn't been able to find a cave or other place sharpteeth wouldn't look too far for them.
"I never thought I wouldn't be glad to see the night circle," Cera said. "We'll never get to sleep if it doesn't go away soon," she added.
"It shouldn't be as bright soon," said Thorn. "The sky puffies usually block the night circle's light around this time."
"It'd better," she replied. "I want to get some sleep tonight. Between the way my foot's bothering me and we have another long journey ahead of us tomorrow. If my foot's going to my hurting, I want at least one to be well-rested." Cera usually wasn't someone who complained, but who couldn't at a time like this? She could tell Thorn felt the same way, although he seemed to prefer being silent about it. He probably wanted to avoid attracting sharpteeth to the canyon as much as possible.
"It will," Thorn whispered. "I promise. In the meantime, we may as well enjoy the view. I mean, the night circle always does make the land look better."
Cera rolled her eyes. "Nothing can make The Mysterious Beyond look better," she said bitterly. "Not with how everything about it reminds you of death and how anything that lives here can kill you. That is why I will not come back here again anytime soon once my journey is over," she added.
Thorn nodded in agreement, although he hadn't almost been eaten by sharpteeth twice like Cera had been. "That is why I will come back to The Great Valley with you," he said. "That and I have nothing left here but bad memories."
"The Mysterious Beyond makes only bad memories," Cera said. Then she changed her tone and the subject. "Well, no point talking about it. Like you said, we may as well enjoy the night circle as much as we can while we can see it." Not like we can do anything else while it's here anyway, she thought. May as well make the best of this even if I'd rather sleep right now.
Thorn seemed surprised about Cera's sudden change of heart about his suggestion. "It is a little chilly though," he had to admit. Cera nodded with agreement. She shivered then moved closer to Thorn to stay warm. "But at least we're not alone. We can stay warm."
"Yeah," Cera said. "I know that feeling. I was cold and alone out here before we found each other in that cave." Then she told him something that she would usually only tell Littlefoot or Ducky. "I'd been considering giving up and just going back to The Great Valley without accomplishing what I've risked my life for twice now before I met you. I was getting too lonely to want to be out here anymore."
"You didn't want any of your friends you told me about to come with you?" Thorn asked.
"I didn't want to put them in danger," she explained. "I'd never forgive myself if the things that have happened to me happened to any of them. I would be to blame if they'd gotten hurt or killed out here."
"But why?" Thorn asked. "I know what you're saying, but you can't ever predict the future."
"Why? They wouldn't have gotten hurt or killed if I didn't bring them with me," she explained. "That is why I left The Great Valley without telling my friends or anyone. I don't think I'd be able to handle losing any of my friends, especially if it is my fault."
Thorn sighed. "I wish I'd grown up with friends," he said sadly. "I never had a chance to before the great earthshake…I lost what little everything I had that day and I'd never made any friends that day. They probably would have died anyway," he growled. "But I won't let that happen to you. You're the first dinosaur I've talked to since I was only a hatchling. I don't want to lose you, the first friend I've had." Then he added, "You're more than a friend to me."
Cera almost gasped, then tried hiding the fact that his words, "You're more than a friend to me", were making her blush. She hadn't been interested in males of her species or even thought about them. Other than Cera's love for what was left of her family, the only love Cera had felt was for all her friends. Cera hadn't ever been one for romance. When they had been searching for the Tinysauruses (before anyone but Littlefoot knew they were such), the way her dad and Tria used to look at each other had made Cera gag and claim she'd never stare that way at a male, of her kind or not.
Of course, she wasn't that way as much now, as she grew up. And now, Cera thought, she may be even less like that because of Thorn. Up to now, Littlefoot had been the closest thing to a loving relationship she'd had, but the way she felt around Thorn was something different all together. Being around Littlefoot had never made her heart beat fast or her stomach get in knots whenever she was around him. Well, Cera had never been a dinosaur who got nervous about much, especially not recently. Then it hit her: Tria had once described feeling the same way around her dad before they become a couple and had Tricia. Cera almost shook her head. She never thought she'd be in love other than the love she had for her friends and family.
I-I'm in love? Cera thought. She tried not to gasp. I didn't think love got your stomach in such knots like this. Sure, Tria said this is how being in love feels but… Cera didn't know what else to think. If this was what being in love felt like, then Cera wasn't sure if she liked the feeling or not. The way her stomach was knotting up at present reminded her of how she felt when she was sick to her stomach, to an extent.
But how could she tell Thorn this when the time was right? If it ever would be. She'd never been in love with someone and, on top of that, Cera had never been the best at breaking news, good or bad, to someone. The words formed in her mind, but died there as well. She couldn't bring herself to telling Thorn how she was beginning to feel about him. Not right now, anyway. Cera believed if she told Thorn that she loved him right now, he would think she's a threehorn who liked to act too quickly without giving things time or thought before acting. And now more than ever, Cera didn't want to get off on the wrong foot with the only dinosaur in The Mysterious Beyond who could keep her company. They needed each other right now and Cera wouldn't do anything that would send them on their own ways, even if that meant not telling Thorn her true feelings toward him right now. They'd only known each other for a few days, after all, and she thought it'd be best if he thought they were only friends until the time was right in Cera's mind.
Thorn cocked his head at Cera. He noticed she seemed to be in deep thought about something. "Is something bothering you?" he asked quietly.
"No!" Cera gasped. "Sorry, you just surprised me," she added in a whisper. "I've had a lot on my mind."
"Did you want to talk about it?" he asked. "Talking about things never hurts."
"Tell that to my dad," Cera scoffed. "Before meeting my new mom, he'd ever want to talk about things. He kept all his feelings hidden, even if he was hurting on the inside. My dad would never talk to anyone, another threehorn or not, when they offered. He is still like that sometimes, except with my mom."
"Well…You can always tell me anything you want to," Thorn said. "I'm more of a listener anyway. I won't judge you for anything you tell me, Cera."
Cera looked up from the ground and smiled. I wish there were more threehorns in The Great Valley like him, she thought. I've only heard Tria say something like that before now. Most don't seem to want to listen to what you say without interrupting you.
"Okay," she said. "I've just been thinking about my friends and family, and how worried they must be about me. They probably don't even know where I've gone. It honestly makes me feel bad that I'm making them go through this."
Thorn blinked. "You're doing this with good intentions and for your family," he said. "You don't need to feel bad about not telling them. You left them in the dark for their own safety. That makes you a good friend in my eyes. The few threehorns I knew weren't like you. They only did things if it benefited them in the end and not for others, whether it helped them as well or not."
Cera seemed surprised. She'd never had a complete stranger say she's a good friend or the least selfish dinosaur they'd ever met, except for the Tinysauruses. They trusted Cera and her friends from the moment they met each other. Sometimes Cera wished she could be so trusting of dinosaurs she hardly knew. She blamed her dad's former ways for that. He raised her to not only avoid dinosaurs that weren't threehorns, but also to not trust anyone before she got to know them well. But there was no point brooding on the past. Her dad wasn't anything that now. (Though he did still have his moments.)
Then her thoughts went back to what had been on her mind before Thorn had asked if something was wrong. Cera still wasn't entirely sure what this feeling she got in her heart and her belly was whenever she was around Thorn. She'd never felt this way before. She couldn't be falling for him, could she? They'd only just met each other a few days ago. Cera wasn't one for quickly getting that close to someone. She didn't even know much about Thorn yet, aside from him telling her he'd lost his entire family in the great earthshake that separated Cera and her friends from their families.
Cera decided to say, "Maybe we should try and get to sleep now" instead of what she'd wanted to ask. She would wait until the time was right to bring these strange feelings up.
But she knew they would probably not go away.
