A/N: Hey guys...I'm kinda fucked up at the moment... so this is maybe not the best I've written so far... but I know I owe you this...And I'm really sorry it took me so long.. it's a confusing time right now...:

Chapter 12

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A soft knock at the door made Carmen turning her gaze away from Spencer. Max smiled weakly at her and said "You can come in." Ashley and Kyla entered the room. The shorter brunette went over to Carmen and hugged her tightly. "How is she?" Kyla asked stroking the hair of her girlfriend softly. "She's okay, I guess. Her mother looked after her and she said it's nothing too serious. She might have a bad headache when she wakes up."

Ashley didn't know if she should feel relieved. The sight of the pale blonde made her feel so damn guilty. She shouldn't have played with her feelings. "Baby you should sleep it's four o'clock" Kyla whispered. Carmen looked really tired. "No", the taller brunette said weak "I want to be here when she wakes up!" "You will!" Kyla assured her. "She won't wake up until afternoon, you heard her mum." Max said.

"I'll stay" Ashley said. The others looked surprised. "It was kinda my fault, I know that, and I'm sorry. As soon as she wakes up I'll call ya." Ashley said. Carmen shrugged. "I don't know if she wants to see your face if she wakes up, but it won't harm if you can apologize..." Max and the brunette got up and walked with Kyla out. Ashley was now alone with Spencer.

"Why did you do that? I just can't love you, don't you see that? How much do I have to hurt you, to make you understand? How many times do I have to cause you pain just to make you get it...you know the worst thing is, I hurt myself by hurting you. I don't know why. I'm so fucking scared. You make me feel something I absolutely can not feel..."

Ashley hold back her tears. She was sitting on the chair where Carmen had been sitting an hour ago, holding Spencer's hand, and stroke it gently. "I'm so sorry Spencer, ..so sorry" Ahley said and placed her head next to Spencer's hand. The brunette fell asleep.

Spencer woke up with the worst headache she ever had. She groaned and squeesed her eyes. She wanted to rub them but noticed that her right hand was hold by an other one. Then Spencer saw who it was and she didn't know if she should smile or cry. She gently released her hand from Ashley's grip and stroke her eyer.

Ashley muttered something and sat slowly up. "Hey, you are awake" she whispered. Spencer smiled. She never had seen anything more cute than an half asleep Ashley who just held her hand a few minutes ago.

STOP!

What had happened. Why was Ashley holding her hand? Why was every thing so white? Why did her head hurt so much? "What happened?" Spencer asked, slightly scared. Ashley told her about finding her in the water, her being drunk, probably falling into the water. She told her that they had took her to hospital and that her mother had looked after her.

While Ashley was speaking Spencer began to remember, the reasons why she went outside and why she felt so sad. "I'm sorry!" she whispered. "Me too" was what Ashley wanted to say but right in this moment a knock at the door told them that somebody was coming inside. "Spencer, my dear, you are awake thank god!" An older and seriouser version of Spencer entered the room. "Hey mum" Spencer said weakly.

Doctor Paula Carlin went to her daughter and hugged her gently. "How do you feel?" she asked. "Okay I guess, just headache" the younger blonde said. To let the two of them talk in private Ashley walked outside to call Kyla.

The two brunettes, Max and Aiden had fallen asleep on the couch at the Davies Mansion. Carmen was half sitting, Kyla's head in her lap. The two boys were also in a sitting position next to each other. Max's head was on Aiden's shoulder and the dark haired boy had placed his head on the blonde ones.

When Kyla heard her ring tone the others also woke up. After a short dialog with her sister the brunette got up. "Spencer's awake now, and she's okay. She can go home,and I think the best would be if she came over, what do you think?" The boys and Carmen agreed. "Ashley will bring her after they got her medics and stuff from home."

Like Kyla had said her bigger sister had taken Spencer with her. They had been at the apothecary and now they were on the way to Spencer's flat. "Thank you very much" Spencer said and looked at Ashley. The brunette still felt damn guilty but wasn't exactly sure why. She just said "It's okay." They fell in silence again, but this time it wasn't a bad one.

After Spencer had taken her stuff they drove to the Davies Mansion where their friends waited impatently. They had talked about Spencer and her reason to go out and getting drunk and they agreed that they won't force Spencer to talk. So when Ashley and Spencer entered the mansion they hugged the blonde and just asked about her being. The six had made the decision that they would make a relaxed DVD night and Aiden and Max went to the library to borrow some.

Kyla and Carmen where in the kitchen, making sandwiches and popcorn and distracted each other once in a while. Spencer and Ashley were sitting in the living room. "Spencer? Can I ask you something" the brunette asked carefully. "Of course" Spencer said with a smile, knowing the question already. "Why have you done that?" Ashley asked, she wanted to hear it from Spencer, maybe it would help her to apologize or whatever it would take to make this feeling stop that was making her feel slightly sick.

"Why I went behind the pool house got drunk and fell into the pool. Well I went outside because it hurt to see you with Jack and I drank because I was so stupid to fall in love with you. I just wanted to forget, I know it was stupid and I feel so guilty for making you guys worried, I really didn't mean to! And I'm sorry I'm giving you such a hard time, I didn't want your pity." Spencer said.

"I'm sorry too" Ashley whispered. "I know how you feel about me and I shouldn't hurt you more than I already do with being straight." The girls laughed softly. "Are we okay?" Ashley asked. Spencer nodded "Yes we are."

Then the doorbell rang and Kyla went to open the door. "Oh hey guys!" she said. The SONs where standing in front of her, Lexa had a big flower bouquet in in her hands, Jack had a bottle of whine, Bill had some chocolate and Melanie held a little card in her hand. "We don't want to disturbe you long, just wanted see how Spencer is" Lexa said. Kyla smiled at her and let them in.

The band gave Spencer their gifts. Lexa hugged her and gave her a kiss on the corner at her mouth, "I'm glad you are okay and thank you so much, we worked it out." she whispered. Spencer smiled and winked secretly at Mel.

Ashley who just saw the kiss, went up to Jack hugged him and talked to him for a while. "Here we go again." Kyla and Carmen said quietly to each other, looking at Ashley and Spencer hurting each other with every step they made in the opposite direction.

After an hour the SONs were gone and Aiden and Max came back. They had borrowed just good mood movies. They had Little Miss Sunshine, Mamma Mia, Juno, Bridget Jones and Finding Nemo. They actually watched Mamma Mia, Bridget Jones and Nemo. Kyla and Carmen where the first who went to bed, soon followed Max and Aiden. "So...uhm are you tired?" Ashley asked Spencer. "Yes..." she answered and yawned. "You can sleep in my room, if you want" Ashley offered. "I'll just take the couch here, because I'm too lazy to make your bed in the guest room. Is that okay?" Spencer shaked her head. "No, I'll just take the couch! It's perfectly fine."

Both of the girls noticed the uncomfortable tension between them. "Okay than... uhm, here's a blanket and there are some pillows. There's a bathroom at the end of the hall. Ashley said and got up. "Thank you" Spencer said and went with her bag to the bathroom.

After changing into a top and boy shorts she went back to the couch and laid down. The couch was very comfortable, the couch was very nice. Spencer took two pillows and recognized a scent of summer, she couldn't describe it in an other way. The pillow smelled like summer, like Ashley.

She hugged the bolster, which the brunette had used before tighter and smiled.

The blond couldn't sleep. She laid there thinking about so many things like she always used to when she was younger. She thought about her brothers, about her first love, about her parents, about her mother being a hesbian, her grandmother who died before Spencer could tell her, her dog whos name was Buffy and then she thought about Alex.

She and Alex had met in summer holidays and got along very well. After four weeks, Alex had asked her out and the became a couple. It was one of the best summers Spencer ever had. But then Alex told her parents, they hated her, and she actually got divorced from her parents. Al and Spencer knew that they weren't working out that way they wanted. They broke up and became really close friends again. Then Alex moved to Orange County and met Marissa.

Spencer loved those two, they made sense and she was so happy for them. They were kinda like Carmen and Kyla, those two made so much sense two. Would it make sense if Spencer was with Ashley?

Spencer chuckled. Max and her had came up with names for the couples. Carmen and Kyla were Kymen, Alex and Marissa were Malex, and Aiden and Max where Aidax. "Spashley" Spencer whispered. Spashley, that quiet made sense, right?

Suddenly she hear footsteps and a small light was turned on in the kitchen. Curious who it was, Spencer got up and went into he other room.

It was one of Ashley's bad habits. Eating when she couldn't sleep. She went into the ktichen and opened the fridge, hoping that she wouldn't wake Spencer up. But it was to late she hear somebody behind her. "Hey." Spencer whispered. Ashley turned around quickly and smiled at the other girl. Then she turned back and stuck her head back into the fridge. Seeing Spencer in really short shorts and a top that showed the skin under her belly and above her trousers was a little to much for Ashley, even if she just saw it in blue and white shapes.

It was a clear night and the moon was shining brightly. The light made Spencer look like and Angel or something and Ashley forbid herself to think something like that.

She heard steps and then the blond was behind the brunette, maybe three or four five steps away. "So how are things with Jack?" Spencer asked. "Over, You and Lexa?" "There hasn't been anything, and there won't be." Spencer made two steps forward, Ashley was still not facing her, pretending to look for something in the fridge.

"What are you looking for?" Spencer asked and made another two steps. Now she stood right behind Ashley. The brunette could feel breath of the blonde in her neck. "Just milk"Ashley sad, her voice was huskier than usual.

Spencer pressed herself against the shorter woman, letting her head rest on her shoulder. Ashley could feel her breasts on her back and her entire body tensed, every muscle frozen. Fuck. There was no way the blond didn't feel that too. Spencer turned her face towards the brunette's neck, chuckled and Ashley's pulse raced up when her lips slightly touched her neck, almost accidentally. "The milk is in the middle of you fridge, Ash. You should date an optiker sometimes."

Ashley was still unable to move. The way Spencer had said her nick name gave her a warm feeling in her stomach. But to feel the blond so near was too much. The brunette laughed sarcastly, took the mild and went to the kitchen island.

"You want some too?" She asked while she poured the white liquid into a bowl and took some cereals. Spencer shaked her head.

"Ash, how do you think about the word Spashley?"