Author's Note: My apologies to you, Melanie (thank you for your kind e-mail, though), but Malchik Gay will not be updated until tomorrow night. I'm trying to make those chapters lengthier, and have already decided to spend all of tomorrow on that fic alone. Besides, I'm feeling more 2/86 right now. …I think I've got carpal tunnel. My hand is killing me as I type, but I HAVE TO FINISH THIS RIGHT NOW, and damn the consequence.

I will sacrifice all I have in life to clear my conscience. I will sacrifice, I will sacrifice all I have in life, sacrifice, sacrifice. Sacrifice by T.A.T.U.

"I don't know what yeh think yer doin', Gilligan. You can't take me," she crossed her arms, studying him. He looked ridiculous in the outfit, but so determined that she couldn't bring herself to actually laugh at him.

"No, I can't," He admitted. "But I still have to try, don't I?" Fanny took a running start and jumped, landing beside Hoagie and tried to deliver a karate chop to Hoagie's arm. The suit blocked it for him. So long as he wore it, she would not be able to directly damage him. "What are Cree and Chad planning?" He demanded, grabbing her leg as she swung a kick at him. She pulled herself free from his grasp.

"Why should I tell yeh?"

"You seemed so determined you're going to win…what does it matter?" Hoagie asked, striking as close to a martial pose as he could manage. So long as he wore the suit, he was protected, but still at a major disadvantage. Two, really. First, he could not hold a weapon. Second, he had never been the most proficient fighter, and the suit was heavy, making him clumsier than normal.

"They're uploading the virus into the computer…it will infect all Kids Next Door members in the world, and then --"

"The Kids Next Door are responsible for the downfall of all kids…I see," Hoagie said softly. "I guess it's fitting."

"What is that supposed to mean?" She dropped down to the floor and swung her leg out in an arch, knocking into Hoagie's legs. He was immediately dropped off balance. He fell, and she put her foot down on his chest.

She had won.

"It means," Hoagie said slowly, answering her question from a moment ago, "That it was a Kids Next Door member who facilitated this whole thing in the first place."

"I'm not a member anymore," Fanny said, pressing a button on the side of her watch. The laser from earlier started up. Hoagie gave a slight gasp, closing his eyes. The Birthday Suit's weakness was lasers. Fanny knew that. It was just a particularly durable type of plastic, but lasers…well, they could melt them.

"I had hoped you would be," Hoagie kept his eyes closed, waiting for the end to come.

"…What did yeh say?" He opened his eyes. She still had him pinned down, but she had pointed the laser away. It was still on, but it was a few inches away.

"I was hoping you'd come back to us," Hoagie admitted. "I knew it was a long shot, but you seemed well on your way to….I liked you. A lot." It was no admittal of love, and with the situation being what it was, Hoagie was even less sure of his feelings towards the girl than he had been previously. But he still didn't hate her. That alone spoke volumes.

"There's nothing we can do about this, anymore, Numbuh 2," She fell easily back into the habit of code names, but shook her head. "It's too late."

"No it's not!" he said stubbornly, pushing himself up. The force of his movement toppled her, forcing her to the ground. She fell, and he grabbed her hand and pulled her back up. The others were watching them with half-interest, not really caring. The senior-Citizombification made them only care about what they were told to care about…and tapioca pudding.

"Then what the hell do we do? Hmm?" Fanny demanded. Hoagie looked thoughtful, then tried to snap his fingers. He remembered his birthday suit, and looked embarrassed.

"Heh..can't do that. Anyways, though…I've got it!"

"What, then?"

"Last time, all we had to do was decommission whomever did it. So…" He paused, realizing what that would mean.

"Yeh have to decommission me too…" She said softly. Hoagie nodded.

"I'm sorry…"

"Don't be. It's only fair…But we've got teh go get Chad and Cree an' decommission them, too, and before they get to the computers."

"Right," Hoagie nodded, feeling as though he'd just been stabbed in the heart. That Fanny was willing to do this…was helping him…We owe you a lot, Fanny… "Hey, Fanny…get Nigel to go to the decommissioning room."

"Why?" She asked. "Oh, never mind, we don't have time for explanations…Numbuh 1, go to the decommissioning room. The rest of yeh…stay here or somethin', I don't care.." The Zombies nodded, all just sitting where they were, except Nigel who obediently followed them.

"All right, this way!" Hoagie announced, grabbing her hand as best as he could through the Birthday Suit. He lead her past the whiz bee deck, past her old office, and into what had once been Rachel's. They passed several Senior Citizombies on the way, but they ignored them. Guess it's because I came with the bad guys…Fanny decided, as she and Hoagie made it to the Global Kids Next Door Supreme Leaduh's office. Chad was hard at work, typing frantically into the computer.

"Damn…they changed the passwords on us.." He muttered, concentrating. Cree glanced up from over his shoulder.

"Fanny…why do you have Hoagie Gilligan with you?" Cree demanded.

"Because we're taking you teen traitors down!" Hoagie said, as Fanny hit her palm against her face.

"Yeh're such a dork," She said with a grown. "But he's right. Yeh two are finally getting' decommissioned, jest like yeh should have been several years ago!"

"Double traitor," Cree hissed, running to attack the Irish red head. Leaving Chad for Hoagie to handle.

"Heh..so…" Hoagie gulped. Chad got up from his seat.

"All right, brat….time to take you down…" Chad cracked his knuckles, before activating his Battle Ready Armor. I've got to get him away from that computer… Hoagie decided.

"Fanny, run!" He said, running past her. He heard Chad laugh behind him.

"Doesn't he realize the virus will still get him once I upload it? Stupid Hoagie…"

"Hey, Chad!" Hoagie cat-called, "Nice bra! Do you have a pair of panties in the same color?"

That did it. Chad ran after the chubby teen, chasing at his heels. But Fanny was not having an easy time with Cree. "Give it up…you know we're better than you. You'd joined the winning team, and now you're giving it up…for Hoagie Gilligan," Cree rolled her eyes. But she looked away in that moment, and Fanny was able to deliver a punch to the older girl's stomach. It knocked the wind from her, and Fanny activated the rockets on the boots of her Battle Ready Armor, flying to Hoagie.

"Give me yer hand, stupid," She yelled to him. He obliged her, but she had to grab onto him with both hands to prevent him from sliding out. And he was heavy. Chad and Cree gave chase, directly on their tails.

Fanny landed on one of the higher platforms of the Moon Base, she and Hoagie ducking inside one of the nearest rooms. Cree and Chad followed. "They're cornered now," Chad said triumphantly.

"That's what we wanted you to think!" Hoagie slammed the door shut behind them. He was no longer wearing the Birthday Suit. Instead, it was on Nigel Uno, who helped Hoagie and Fanny force Cree and Chad both into the decommissioning chairs.

"Just one person left…" Nigel said softly, as Cree and Chad were strapped in, struggling in vain. He turned to Fanny.

"Wrong," Hoagie said, "Two left."

"..What? What are yeh talkin' about?!" Fanny demanded.

"I'm going to get decommissioned, too," Hoagie said, grabbing her hand and giving it a squeeze. "Look, I don't want to be in an organization that wouldn't allow someone like you in it. You've proven yourself, but no matter what..they'd never let you back in. And that's not all right with me."

"All right, old friend," Nigel said, going to the controls of the Decommissioning unit. "If that's your decision."

"It is."

Hoagie and Fanny sat down beside each other, watching as the tv screens came down, the plungers striking them in the face….immediately, about one quarter of their memory was erased. None of them would ever remember what had happened today.


"Hey, Fanny, wait up!" Fanny groaned, and turned, waiting for the hefty boy to catch up to her. "Are we doing something Saturday?"

"Don't yeh have any other friends?" She demanded.

"They're always busy…you should know that. Rachel's your best friend, after all, and she and the others are always doing extra credit. Talk about not having lives!" Fanny gave a slight chuckle.

"They're startin' teh get the wrong idea about us…" she pointed out.

"So? I wouldn't mind it," Hoagie said, reaching for her hand. She pulled away.

"And what makes you so sure I'd want to date yeh?"

"Aww..c'mon…just one little date?"

"No!"

"Please?"

"No!"

"Aww, c'mon," Hoagie said, smirking. "You know you want me. Just admit it to yourself. I want you…" He wrapped an arm around her. This time, she didn't move away.

"Yer just lucky I like you, Gilligan.."

"Oh? Like…how?"

"It means I can stand yeh," she elaborated, but then her frown quickly turned into a smile. "But…maybe one day we could be more."

The End