HELLO EVERYONE. I hope that everybody is safe after hurricane Irene passing by. The tropical storm on the East coast provided me with time to write, so here's a short chapter... Enjoy and stay dry :) And PLEASE review. Thank you!

chapter 11

I woke up in the morning and felt more tired than when I had gone to bed. I hadn't really slept. I had woken up many times in a state of panic, as if I'd lost or forgot something important. I'd felt like something was missing and I couldn't think of what it was.

Mom, who had stayed next to me all night, had soothed me and brushed my hair with affection.

I opened my eyes to see both of my parents talking in rapid hush. I couldn't hear what they were saying. Both of them promptly quieted and looked at me when I shifted in my bed. They both smiled at me but something about their expressions made me wary. I looked at them and suddenly felt that weird nudging inside that gave me a bad feeling.

Lily walked into the room, with wet hair and only a towel around her perfect figure. She eyed dad discreetly and then looked at me.

"Good morning, Red! I didn't know your brother was coming up." She said before turning to dad. "Hi, Edward."

He bowed his head slightly before his eyes returned to me.

"Are you hungry, Renesmee? Why don't we go out for breakfast?" Dad suggested.

I shrugged. "Okay," I mumbled while getting out of bed.

Dad and mom exchanged another look. I knew they were worried to see me upset, but I didn't even have energy to pretend I was okay. I couldn't hide the sadness.

I checked my phone and felt a pang searing through me. No messages. No missed calls. Nothing.

I got ready then my parents and I left my room.

"Do you want to go to the cafeteria or go for a hunt?" dad asked.

"I'm not really hungry, dad. The fox was enough for a few days."

Dad sighed heavily and swept his hand into his hair with frustration. He stepped closer and placed his cold loving hands on each of my shoulders. He looked intensely into my eyes with that serious fatherly look.

"Baby, I understand that right now you're feeling sad because your...," he took a deep breath before finishing his sentence. "your boyfriend hasn't called you, but your wellbeing cannot be dependent on a boy."

I gasped and pushed his hands off of me.

"Are you already assuming that it's over between Jacob and me?"

Dad stayed still, and his silence broke me.

"He... he loves me," I cried, shaking my head with denial.

He couldn't just leave me. After all we shared. After everything he confessed.

I was his imprint, his love, his everything, he had said. Was it all a lie?

I thought of his gentle caresses, the way his arms always tightened to keep me close, the devotion in his eyes. I thought of our kisses.

I heard a groan and noticed dad's clenching jaw and his narrowed eyes.

I looked over at mom with panic. "MOM! I thought you were shielding me!"

Mom's eyes widened and she mouthed "sorry".

"Yes, he lied." Dad said between clenched teeth. Dad's words felt like a knife stab straight through me. "Men know what girls want to hear. They use it to get what they want."

I shook my head vehemently. "Not him," I mumbled. Not him.

Mom came over and hugged me. Dad's eyes softened when he saw my eyes fill with tears. He came over to us and wrapped his arms around his two girls.

The rest of the clan joined us later and we talked until sundown, when they finally all climbed into their respective cars and drove away.

Mom and dad didn't want to leave me alone. But I had looked sternly at them and promised I was fine. I reminded them that I was strong and that I was used to changes. I would cope easily, I had told them. They had still begged to stay and when I refused, they'd asked for me to go back home with them. I refused too. I wanted to stay here and finish my year.

I wanted to stay here and be near him, even if he didn't want me.

Once I couldn't hear the smooth motor of their cars, I walked up to my room heavily. I checked my phone again in vain. Why wasn't he calling back?

I plumped into my bed and cried.

I let all the tears I'd been holding back for the past two days roll down my face. I let the burning pain in my chest explode through my heart. I pulled my pillow over my face and screamed my agony into it, my fingers digging holes into the fabric. I heaved and cried and screamed until I had nothing left in me. I was empty, a big wrenching hole of broken hell.

I couldn't move and curled up, hugging my legs up to my chest, trying to hold on to the meager little crumbs of me that were still here.

I dozed off after a while and when I woke up again, all the girls were there. I was already reaching for my phone when they noticed I was awake. They came over to me. I looked at my phone. Nothing.

I let my head fall back down on the mattress.

"He's a jerk," Lily said.

"He doesn't know what he's missing," Emma said.

"You deserve someone much better," Jen said.

I shook my head. I knew they were trying to cheer me up, but it didn't help to tell lies. He wasn't a jerk. And he wasn't missing anything of importance to him. And he's the one who deserved someone better.

"I wasn't good enough for him," I croaked and my three friends hushed me tenderly.

"You didn't do anything wrong, Red," Jen promised.

I didn't believe her.

"We brought movies and chocolate," Emma said with a shy smile.

Lily plopped on the bed next to me and showed me the dvd's. " We have Thelma&Louise, Charlie's Angels, and Tomb Raider."

I stared at the pictures of strong women on the cover of the dvds. I didn't say anything.

Despite my lack of interest, they put on one of the movies and watched it in silence, passing around chocolate chips cookies, ice cream and M&Ms. I didn't eat anything and didn't follow the movie.

I excused myself and went to the bathroom. I took my phone out and called Jacob again. No answer. I didn't leave a message.

I went back in the room and curled up in bed again. The girls looked at me with sympathy but didn't say anything.

When the movie ended, it was late and we all went to bed.

I didn't sleep. I thought about each seconds I had spent with Jacob. I analyzed his words, his gestures, each glances and pauses. Nothing betrayed that he was lying.

Late the following morning, Lily begged me to go and eat with the girls at the cafeteria. I shook my head. I wasn't hungry and I couldn't move. After trying unsuccessfully to get me to go with them, she gave up and left to eat.

I checked my phone again. I read his last text message again and cried.

What if something bad happened to him? What if he was hurting in a hospital and I didn't know about it? What if he had to go back home because someone died? What if he had an accident?

What if I was wallowing in my room when he needed me?

My heart was racing with worry and fear. I grabbed the phone and called again. This time I left a voicemail.

"Please just let me know you're alive or I'll start visiting all the hospitals in this state. I need to know you're okay, Jacob."

I hung up and waited anxiously. Twenty minutes later, my phone vibrated. I had an incoming message.

I'm alive. Stop calling.

Sweet relief and pure agony mixed at once. I felt my fear sip away, leaving place only to the atrocious, searing pain that tore at my insides. I stared blankly at the words in on the screen. It was all becoming blurry. I couldn't breathe and I started to feel dizzy. My body shook with sorrow and I felt my heart disappearing into a burning black hole.

Jacob didn't want me.

Jacob didn't love me.

I was utterly empty. I stared at the wall, curled up into a frozen ball and stayed still until dark dreams pulled me into sleep.