Chapter 12

I woke up to a little nausea and a headache. But it was mild. The crackers and exorbitant amount of water Jacob had plied me with must have worked. I looked beside me and the smile on my face dropped. I was surprised I was so disappointed that he was gone. He had tucked me into the bed with extra blankets. That must have been why I didn't notice him leave.

As I sat up I became aware that I had slept in only my bra and panties. I must have been out of it last night to not notice that I was mostly naked sleeping next to Jacob. I found my pants and shirt folded on the chair and pulled them on.

I came out to the Kitchen to find Sam coaxing Leah on the couch to drink more water. Yes, she was sick. While Jacob had successfully plied me with water and snagged my bottle from me promptly last night, Leah had been much more set on her beer. The difference between our mornings was remarkable. I fought back a giggle as Leah screwed up her face and turned her body from the cup of water as if it were poison. I didn't want to have to admit that she looked like a pissed off kitten. All hiss and no bite.

"Lee-lee, be reasonable!" Sam whined. "A sip of water with advil isn't going to cure a hang-over."

"Morning!" I said brightly. "How much did she drink?"

"Three beers, but she has low tolerance for alcohol. Look at her. She's a hundred and twenty pounds. You weigh less than that you probably had the equivalent with your drinks. You must have a pretty good tolerance." Sam noted.

"I was just more obedient last night when Jacob kept tipping glasses of water at me. I saw her pushing the water you offered away last night. really does work wonders Leah."

Leah groaned.

"Who's up for eggs?" I offered. Leah jumped off the couch and stumbled for the porcelain throne with Sam following behind to hold her hair back. She heaved into the toilet hugging it. I followed behind feeling sympathetic for her. She wiped her mouth and looked up at me pointing.

"You tell anyone about this, I'll make you skinny dip from the cliffs at the beach." She threatened.

Sam patted her shoulder. "Everyone's going to know anyway Lee-Lee. Without Bella opening her mouth."

Leah got up and freshened up at the sink. "That sucks, I need to misdirect my aggression somewhere Sam." She muttered bringing a wide grin to Sam's face.

"That's my girl. That's what I'm there for honey." Leah struggled to hold back a smile. Sam offered the glass again.

"Water?"

"Yeah," She sighed. "bottoms up."

After five tall glasses of water and many trips to the washroom, Leah was in better spirits.

Leah decided the pack would go on a hike and a picnic. She'd done this before, so this meant giant coolers on wheels and a lot of sandwiches. By the time they had finished packing and arrived at the picnic, it was after one o'clock. There was laughter and joking and mass quantities of eating.

I had slept days without pack dreams for days. I had appreciated the rest. I sat on a log a small distance from the pack and observed Sam and Leah, Jared and Kim, Quil and what's-her-name, and Jacob. Paul was on patrol. They were uplifting and fun to watch.

A frog caught my attention. It hopped past me, paused and continued on its way. I followed its course quietly, tracking it with my eye. It disappeared behind a boulder. I heard more laughter from the pack and decided they wouldn't notice if I followed my curiosity. Where was the frog headed? I grinned at myself. Just like when I was a little kid. I couldn't help but follow the random animal that crossed my path. I found the frog on the other side of the boulder and followed its sudden hop and long pauses in silence. It was headed for a stream. Soon, I heard a plop as the frog dropped into the water.

"Bella," A voice jolted me back to reality. I saw Edward standing fifty feet away. I felt a small shiver go through me. "Come here now dear. I'll take care of you." He smiled at me with his beautiful eyes. "Don't you remember the story of Little Red Riding Hood? It's not safe with the wolves.

I love you so much." He made motions to close the distance between us. And I backed away trying to remember why his eyes were a problem. A voice in my head told me I'd been sucked in by those eyes before and they were drawing me in again.

His stare became more intense and I couldn't remember why I was resisting his gaze. "Bella, you belong with me. You belong to me and I belong to you. I have made preparations for your return."

Return? A part of me reared up like a horse on its hind legs and that notion. I dithered because I was torn between two reactions. He was beautiful, passionate and seductive. But there was fear.

"You might kill me. I've been warned by Charlie, next time I might not be lucky. You seem fine right now. But you might kill me." Edward hushed me with gentle eyes.

"I would never hurt you Bella. Come to me so that I can hold you."

I shook my head no, but my feet moved forward as if of their own will. I felt confused, two sides of me warring. I was carefully and slowly crossing the stream, but as usual I felt myself slipping.

"Bella!" An urgent voice called. It was one of the pack but not Jacob. I tried to pull my eyes from Edward. But he held them. I continued my slow path.

"Edward loves me." I murmured.

"Look at me!" The same urgent voice blocked my view effectively capturing my attention.

"Leave her alone." Edward spat. The rest of the pack arrived. The guys made a line taking up defensive positions ahead of me. Leah and Kim were at my side. I began to shake.

"What am I doing?" I asked Leah. She hushed me, rubbing my back.

"Cullen, leave now." Sam said darkly.

"You whore! Lauren is right! How many have you given yourself to now?!" Edward yelled at me.

"Bloodsucker! You're pushing the line." Sam warned. I turned my back to Edward and covered my ears.

"You'll come back begging for my forgiveness when you're abandoned with their litter of foul mutts!"

I could hear him over my hands covering my ears.

"Edward!" Yelled! The pack parted to see me. "I've been intimate but not with any man." I knew the pack would supply images. His face filled with rage.

"You liar! You're being passed around the pack! You're their communal whore!" He accused. Was he getting confused a couple of them remembering their fantasies? It didn't matter.

"Believe that if you may. But you have proven that you are my enemy. Goodbye Edward." I turned and took Leah's hand walking away. Leah and Kim brought me back to the picnic area and we cleaned up.

"What were you thinking? You were walking towards him when we came." Asked Leah.

"His eyes held me and his words were soothing. I tried to stop. But I just kept on walking to him. I'm pathetic." I thought aloud. Kim hugged me.

"I don't know much about this Bella." Kim said. "It's probably none of my business. But he must have had quite the leash on you. That doesn't necessarily make you pathetic. Just still in recovery." It was an optimistic thought and I appreciate it. We had finished packing up the picnic when the guys returned. Leah, Kim and Jared walked ahead.

"I'm-I'm sorry." I said to Jacob. "There was a frog and then beautiful topaz eyes. And I asked questions but his answers didn't really matter. I lost my resolve." I rambled my poor excuse for an apology.

Jacob looked into my eyes. Sam spoke.

"Well, it's different than last time. You didn't run into his arms." Sam smacked Jacob's arm and walked ahead.

Jacob caught up and gave me a smile. "You did just fine Bella. You held out long enough for us to get there. You stood up for yourself when we backed you. You're coming alive each day, you're paying attention to the world around you and you didn't abandon all thought and run into a wife beater's arms." I cringed at the name calling.

"He's never hit me." Jacob rolled his eyes.

"Let's not argue about this small detail. Are you ready to go? You're still shaking. Are you cold?" I laughed.

"I wasn't ready for a confrontation. I still have a lot of adrenalin I think. It's confusing. I didn't want to go with him. The last time I saw him, I asked questions. But I didn't consider not going to him then. It wasn't so simple this time. I sort of want Edward, but I want what we had, I don't think I can be that girl anymore. I heard those things he yelled at me. I don't know if he said those things before I left. I can think of other things I want. Things Taha Aki showed me and things that Charlotte showed me. Edward can't give me those things."

We were walking hand in hand.

"I've been watching you come alive. I thought you were wonderful before. The woman that's opening up and letting me get to know her, is amazing and I'm growing to love her more every day."

I came to a stop and looked up into his eyes.

"Really?" He nodded with a smile.

There was something I wanted to tell him. He had opened up and told me he loved me. He knew about all of my failures and weaknesses and I wasn't a pillar of strength right now. But he was being vulnerable in front of me.

"I can't say the same back to you right now. But I have something to tell you. Do you remember when I fell asleep on the couch and you wanted to know who I saw?" I asked.

"Your future mate. Do you recognize a face or name?" He asked concerned.

"Yes, it was you." I blushed. "It seemed so unlikely. You hadn't shown any interest in me in that way. It seemed like too much pressure to put on you. But now that you've told me that you love me, it doesn't seem so unlikely." I smiled at him. "Taha Aki gave me a dream about you and what we could have that I couldn't have with Edward." I was nervous. He stood watching my face thinking carefully. Seconds passing felt like hours and my patience waned.

"I want to kiss you." He said simply. "But I don't know if that will upset you."

"That won't upset me. I'd like that." I had barely finished the words when he swept me up into his arms and pressed me to him. Our lips met and his lips moved in ways that I was unfamiliar with. Warm, wet and soft. He tasted refreshing but exciting. Exciting isn't a flavour I corrected myself. But it seemed an apt description.

My heart pounded, heat rose from my belly and up to my head. I pulled my arms around his neck and held myself to him tightly. His hands tightened and his tongue searched my mouth. I relinquished myself to his probing. He was firm but gentle. It felt wonderful.

A moan escaped my throat and he poured more passion into the kiss with renewed vigour. I revelled in his body wrapped around mine. He pulled away staring into my eyes.

"I'm so happy to hear that. I hope your dream is true. I started to love you that day we first saw each other at the beach and my love has only grown as time passes. I want you to be happy and safe and strong. You are so brave you put warriors to shame." He smiled.

I smiled. We walked along the beach hand in hand. I imagined us in our own home, with a low wooden fence and flowered garden with children's toys and two dark haired children playing in the yard. I saw Jacob walking to me and wrapping his arms around me happily. I imagined being a good wife to him and a good mother to our children. It all sounded so wonderful. I froze. An idea occurred to me.

"What's the matter?" Jacob asked. I had stopped walking.

"He said litter. Your sister's are twins. Jared has twin brother and sister. There's even triplets around here. You guys don't make litters do you? I'm an only child. I don't think I'll ever be ready for litters!" I panicked.

Jacob chuckled. "We are very virile." He laughed good-naturedly. "You're cute." He sighed. "No, we don't make litters. I hadn't thought we had more twins than usual. Maybe we can find some stats on that. But still most of us aren't twins."

I felt anger at Edward. I saw how much he hurt when he saw memories of me with Charlotte and whatever else the guys showed him. Edward tried to scare her with threats of litters of puppies. She'd hurt him worse than that. Jacob was her soul mate. Why not retaliate against Edward with images of her with her soul mate the next time he saw one of the pack?

"What are you thinking Bella? You're getting that determined look in your eye."

I threw myself at him, wrapping my legs around his waist and attaching myself to him. I was aggressive, strong and angry with Edward. It felt wrong. I pushed that thought away from me. Jacob was kissing me back, equally strong, aggressive but loving. There was no denying the guilt that was coming but I wasn't going to admit to Jacob why I had thrown myself at him and why I was kissing him like I was now. She heard him groan and saw a frown settle on his brow.

"Bella..." He breathed. "I love you... but I have a funny... feeling... you're kissing me for the wrong reasons. I'm not going to participate in that." He twisted away from her mouth and held her head against his shoulder in an embrace.

"I'm sorry." I pulled back. "I'll go now." I muttered in embarrassment and guilt.

"Bella,"

"No, you're right. It's okay. I should go now." I ran off.

"But Bella, how will you get ..." When I got to his house, I remembered I'd borrowed their truck to grocery shop and get down here. Where does the truck go when I get home without admitting I drove without a licence? So much for a dramatic exit. I walked back to Leah and Sam's.

It was just Leah dancing like a crazy person to Bif Naked "Let down." In the kitchen. I took a moment to watch with a small smile on my face.

"Very nice Leah." She screamed and turned to face me.

"Bella! What the hell are you doing watching me spaz out?"

"Enjoying myself. Um, Leah can I get a ride home. I made a dramatic exit and then realized I didn't have a way home." Leah grinned.

"At least I'm not the only acting like a spaz. Hold, let me get my keys. Okay?"

Leah's version of driving was a little erratic. I made a mental note to avoid riding with her. She sped up, slowed down with the conversation, she changed cd's and occasionally she cut people off. Her reflexes were great or she would have gotten killed a long time ago with her lack of attention to the road. But just to be safe, I decided I would be sure to make sure I had a ride before going with her.

"What were you planning to do now?" She asked.

"Cleaning, laundry and make dinner."

"It's only two in the afternoon. I've got another idea. You're coming with me." She turned up the music and sped up. The sun was out and it seemed a good day for a road trip. An hour and a half later, she pulled off onto a side road and hopped out of the car.

"What are we doing?"

"Just a little trespassing." She grinned. I followed her timidly. She hurried through the tree's and tripped trying to keep up. Just ahead of us I heard her yell up a whoop. I broke through the trees and came to rows of fields of purple.

Leah dropped down and sniffed. "It's only Spring. By Summer, the smell is everywhere and they grow out. There are a few Lavender farms around here. Will you come back with me in July for the festival?"

I smiled. "I'd like that. This is much more innocent than what I thought you were up to." I took a seat next to her. We spent the next hour sitting and talking until we had an inkling that someone was coming. Then we picked up and ran. Of course, as soon as we got to the tree's I took a fall. Leah got me back to the car and we drove back.

We were laughing and Leah was dancing to loud women screaming to rock music as we pulled up to my house. Jacob and Sam were sitting out front with their arms across their chest. They didn't look happy.

"What's wrong?" Leah spoke first.

"Where were you?" Sam asked.

"Sequim."

Now Sam was curious. "Doing what?" He tried to hide a smile.

"Girl stuff. Now what's going on?"

"Well you didn't tell anyone so we were worried that you might have run into Edward after the incident today. We've had the guys out looking for you." Sam was serious again. "Could you give us a heads up?"

Leah gave Sam a kiss. "Sure hon. We just had an idea on the spur of the moment. We're going back in July."

"I'll see you at home Leah."Sam told her. "I'll let the guys know we found them." He nodded to Jacob.

Leah and Bella said their goodbyes and then it was just Bella and Jacob.

"What's in Sequim in July?" Jacob asked.

"I don't know if I should tell you that. It was a bit of a girls day and you might not be interested. And what if Leah doesn't want you to know anyway? She might lose some tough girl street cred." I smirked at Jacob and he shrugged. "Jake, would you like to join us for dinner?"

"I'd love to."

A/N: I lived in London for four years as a kid and visit family. As a group of six kids, (siblings and cousins) we used to go down to Norfolk and traipse through lavender fields. We'd also go onto fruit farms and get chased off with a shotgun. But god was it ever nice compared to London. I know, completely irrelevant but