A short chapter that I'm posting now and I'm still gonna post the next longer and more important chapter on Sunday (hopefully I'll remember to do so). You know that it's bad when 4,000 words is considered a 'short' chapter.
I don't often do this, but the title of the chapter is based on the song in the story. Usually I try not to do that (in this story, at least) but I mean, I'm out of ideas for this chapter.
"I want you for a lifetime,
"So if you're gonna think twice,
"Baby, I don't wanna know,
"Baby, I don't wanna know.
"Everything is just right,
"But if you're gonna think twice,
"Baby, I don't wanna know,
"Baby, I don't wanna know.
"I want you for a lifetime~"
"Whoa, voice crack!"
Hunter cleared his throat as the others laughed, Fae cracking a smile.
"Whoo, that note is at the top of my range. I even warmed up, too."
"Well, you said so yourself that it was a song sung by a girl," Pyre pointed out.
"Think you could do better?" Wolf challenged.
"Obviously. I'm a woman."
While the two of them went at it, Lock rolled his eyes and turned back to Hunter. "The guitar part seems more important than the lyrics. Coming from the 300 year old unprofessional but experienced eye, I saw you were putting more effort into the instrument than your singing."
Hunter looked down at his guitar. "Yeah. The song's meant to be played on a piano, but I did my best to mimic it. Chords are really all I've learned how to play, so I make the net sound at each part, but these chords change so fast that I need a lot more time to practice. Pianos are easier to use multiple fingers with at a time."
"How does this pee-ann-o work?" Fae asked.
Hunter blinked. "Oh, well…it's a bunch of strings pulled tight, kinda like the guitar but a lot bigger and a lot stronger. You press down certain keys to have a little mallet hit the strings under tension and it makes a sound based on the size of the wire, again, like how the guitar has different sizes of strings for higher or lower notes. There's really no way to explain it all with words, but I have a piano at the Institute that I can sometimes get access to when I haven't got my parents around to spy on me. Institutes have music rooms, even if my father doesn't like me using ours."
Fae looked at the guitar, before looking to his left hand and wiggling his fingers.
"Guys, don't start arguing about this," Lock said, moving to Pyre and Wolf and forgetting about Hunter and Fae.
"My Hunter," Fae muttered, looking up to meet his eyes. "May I…might I request your instrument?"
"Huh? Oh, sure. But why?"
Hunter handed over his guitar with a slight reluctance. He rarely ever trusted it to anyone else's hands, mostly because he was afraid that something would happen to it. He'd had his guitar broken before, he didn't want something to happen to it again. But he trusted Fae, he knew the faerie's hands were delicate and graceful when they wanted to be.
Fae took the instrument and set it on his lap, mimicking how he'd seen Hunter play countless times. He was at a different angle than he usually saw the instrument from and had to focus, having trouble wrapping his hand around to put his fingers in position, but he felt Hunter's fingers gently wrap around the neck of the guitar and rest on top of his, moving the faerie's into the correct places.
"Now strum across all of the strings, top to bottom," Hunter commanded softly.
Fae did so, moving his thumb down as he'd imagined doing so before. The sound that came out wasn't exactly what Fae had expected - flat, sharp, whichever Hunter would call it, but either way it certainly didn't sound appealing. Hunter removed his hand from Fae's and readjusted Fae's fingers. He plucked the strings individually, before strumming them all together at the neck so that the sound was quiet.
"Put more pressure on your index finger. This one." Fae shifted his hand so that he could follow Hunter's instructions. "Spread your middle and ring finger just a bit." He did so again, his hand straining at the new feeling. Hunter chuckled. "You don't have any calluses."
"It is a trait of my kind."
"Well it might make the strings hurt your fingers."
"I have coped in the past. All my life. I've not trouble from pain."
"Okay. Well, you might wanna wrap your hand around a little more to give your fingers more room. Don't touch the strings where you're not supposed to or it could ruin the sound. The vibrations of the strings are key. Now, for this note, you're gonna use three fingers like…this. You're going to avoid strumming the top string."
Fae followed his instructions and played the note. It came out wrong again, but Fae, determined, adjusted the instrument in his lap and repositioned his fingers. He strummed and moved his fingers multiple times, picking at each string individually to see which ones sounded wrong, and then moving the corresponding finger or a finger that might be touching one when it shouldn't. His index was the hardest, since he was supposed to be putting it on the second string up but it kept getting squished down to interfere with the bottom one.
He finally strummed and the note came out clearly, even if it wasn't perfect. Hunter smiled and placed his hands on top of Fae's again, showing him how to play another note.
"I looked a couple notes up online and went from there, but for the most part, these are completely made up."
"To contrive such an intricate system for this device is astounding."
"It just takes a little trial and error to see what makes what sound. Now, let me show you one of the first songs I made. It shouldn't be too hard for you. You just need to figure out how the guitar feels in your hand and the notes will come easier and easier. You'll be a professional in no time."
Hunter began to show Fae a series of notes to play, smiling at the proximity required to do so and the excuse to rest his hand on Fae's. He rested against Fae as he practiced, giving small tips but nothing too important. He simply relaxed against Fae's warmth (probably inconveniencing him by leaning on his arm) taking in the smell of a campfire and the gentle movements of Fae's muscles as he shifted. He wasn't muscular, he didn't get proper nutrients in the Hunt even though he was a good hunter - Gwyn wanted all of his men on the edge and prepared for starvation - but even so, Hunter liked sitting beside him. This was perfect, this was all he needed.
Fae started getting faster at learning how his fingers should be positioned, and Hunter couldn't help but smirk at the way his face scrunched up in concentration, his brow creasing and his nose occasionally twitching in a huff when things started getting irritating. Hunter started hearing proper notes coming out as Fae started to form a song, one chord at a time. It wasn't long before Hunter actually paid attention and realized Fae was playing a song that Hunter hadn't taught him - it was the song Hunter had been playing earlier - Don't Think Twice. Hunter blinked in surprise as Fae started playing the cyclic tune, just a few chords up and down that repeated again and again before Fae actually started to hum the beat of the lyrics.
Fae was inexperienced when it came to singing, but it didn't take much effort to hum to the rhythm. He was even smart about it and shifted the pitch down so that it was more suited to a male voice, getting the intervals up and down between notes correct and even slightly moving his head to the beat. It was the most adorable thing Hunter had ever seen.
Hunter kissed him, right then and there, cupping his face to turn it at the right angle. Hunter felt as Fae went through stages - first surprise as he stiffened, then acceptance as he relaxed again to reciprocate, then resistance as he pulled back and slipped his hand out from under the guitar to grip Hunter's wrist tightly, his eyes filled with panic that Hunter hadn't expected.
"My Hunter, we are not alone," he said urgently.
It admittedly took Hunter longer than it should have to process what Fae had said, before he gasped and jumped back, as though Fae had suddenly burst into flames. He was afraid to look, but raised his eyes over to where Lock, Pyre, and Wolf were standing in a circle (or triangle, really), huddled close as the three of them argued about something in hushed tones. Even Lock had a scowl on his face as he joined in the debate between both Pyre and Wolf, who seemed to have tried ganging up on him with a common enemy. They were engrossed in their squabble and it didn't seem as though any of them were in a position to break off and look over to Hunter or Fae.
Fae stared at them, probably listening in with his faerie ears. Hunter just happened to not have a rune to enhance his hearing on that day, and it would've felt inappropriate to specifically put one on just to eavesdrop. Fae raised an eyebrow at something he heard, but then shook his head to clear his expression once more.
"What's up?" Hunter asked him.
"It appears they are speaking of something within their pasts that I have no recollection of. Pyre and Wolf were both clients of Lock before we formed our group. As such, they have their own relationships that I have no right to pry upon."
"What did you hear?"
"Mere references to a history I know naught of. In any case, I surmise they have not the concentration to focus upon our actions. I advise you to take more caution in the future."
Hunter's head fell. "I'm sorry, Fae."
"Give no such apologies through your speech. Do not allow your focus to waver with this mishap as your guide and I shall be forgiving."
Hunter gave a small smile. "Deal. So…how did you learn that song? I didn't teach it to you."
Fae shrugged. "I merely observed the positioning of your hands over the course of our relationship and mimicked your actions. I remembered how you performed and did so myself."
"It was incredible. You learned to play guitar just by watching with just a little instruction to get started."
Fae looked down at the instrument. "I have grown to observe and master abilities with haste as a means of survival. Should I falter in any skill, often I am met with only punishment."
Hunter sighed. "You're too good for me."
Fae smiled sadly. "No, my Hunter. I am far from good."
"What makes you think that?"
"What you saw, during our previous incident in Faerie, was merely a fraction of the cruelty I hold within my heart, what I must resort to if I wish to survive. As I have said before, there are things that I have done in my past that…you would find repulsive. There are secrets I wish never to share, ones that might threaten my life and how you and the others shall perceive me."
"Fae." Hunter rested his hand on the faerie's. "No matter what you are or what you've done, none of us will look down on you. I won't see you any differently. You do what you have to. It's not your fault you're a faerie, it's not you who made living in Faerieland what it is. You have your reasons, and I know you wouldn't do anything bad with no rationale. You saved me the day we met without a second thought. The Cold Peace hadn't been in play, sure, but faeries and Shadowhunters still weren't on the best of terms. You didn't have to worry about me that day, you didn't have to follow me into the building or up to the roof, and you didn't have to catch me."
"My steed ceased your descent," Fae corrected.
Hunter chuckled. "Yeah, but you ordered him to. You have a kind heart; you're not evil just because you've been pushed and pulled all your life, trying to survive and help those you care for. You don't have to tell me anything, but even if you did, it wouldn't change a thing. Whatever you're worried about me, or anyone else, learning makes you afraid because you're a good person - you regret being forced into that situation and you know it was wrong."
Fae dropped his gaze. "Perhaps your former statement should belong to me. Your heart is much too pure for mine."
Hunter shrugged and moved to sit beside Fae again, taking his hand. "I guess we're both good in our own ways, so we balance each other out."
Fae smiled. "I suppose that statement rings quite true."
Hunter nodded and moved back to seeing what other songs Fae had memorized.
Though he wouldn't speak the words aloud because he knew that there was no point in arguing with an optimist human, especially Hunter Hopeful here, Fae still knew that Hunter would have mixed feelings at best when he learned the truth about Fae's past. He knew that Kieran would hate him without any shadow of a doubt - especially because Fae had kept it hidden all these years. Anyone who ever learned faced a swift death, all but Gwyn, who figured the truth out on his own and still accepted Fae because he was a good fighter with good intentions. Fae trusted Gwyn as his elder and a leader, but though Fae told himself that he wouldn't mind if Kieran resented him, he still couldn't find a way to tell Kieran the truth.
He was afraid. He wished that he could deny it, even to himself inside his own thoughts, but he couldn't. He was terrified of his past and fearful his future when it would finally be revealed.
Fionn stared down at the volcano in front of him. So Gwyn wanted him to get a special gem or something that was guarded by a dragon. Just great. Well, at least Fionn's talents proved useful here. He walked across the fiery lava without much reaction to the heat. If anything, it was comforting. Even his wounds upon his back began to numb as though healing, as though they no longer existed. The rest of the world was a cold, cold, place. Fionn shivered when the sun went down during summer, let alone when it snowed. When it snowed, Fionn would stand in a fire just to stop his body from shutting down.
Fionn strolled through the caves, lava and molten rock surrounding him. He wondered how Hunter was doing. Then again, he was always wondering about Hunter these days. It had gotten progressively easier to weave his way around topics that might lead to their relationship. Even Hunter was pulling off lies without stuttering anymore. Now that he thought about it, Hunter had told him that his parabatai ceremony was coming up soon - since he would turn 19 in a week, maybe less now, and they had to move quickly. Fionn wondered the consequences of Hunter having a parabatai. Would they be able to know about Hunter's relationships, his meetings with the Downworlders? Would they sense whenever Fionn was there because Hunter knew? If Hunter trusted this person enough to become a parabatai with them, then Fionn had no choice but to put his trust in Hunter.
The fiery cave went on as Fionn searched for the deepest part, where the magical gems would be located, as well as the guardians and residents of the cave. The volcanic cave was nice and warm, but even Fionn was getting tired of it at this point. He sensed that there were monsters inside, but none of them seemed to want to approach him or even show themselves. Fionn had kneeled down to the bubbling lava when he saw something move within, but it had quickly dived under and away.
When Fionn finally made it to a large cavern surrounded by red crystals. Fionn looked around and didn't see any monsters, so he shrugged and kneeled, pulling out a hunting knife and attempting to cut through the rock. His knife failed to do little more than scratch it, so he pulled out his Io and wrapped the string around one of the pieces, giving it one tug as the indestructible material sliced through with ease. He repeated this process, filling a bag with the crystals that Gwyn had instructed him to completely stock.
Fionn was, of course, on alert, so when he felt the slight rumbling in the ground, he stood and turned just in time to get a large blast of fire to the…well, to the everything. He was completely engulfed in flames, but luckily he'd long since learned how to concentrate and keep anything he was touching from turning to ashes as well (there were a few incidents where his clothes had been burned away, and though he wasn't bashful, he found it was an annoyance he was content at avoiding). The fire was less of a problem than it was a minor inconvenience. If he focused, he could see through the flames to its source: the mouth of a very large and probably very angry dragon creature. Just Fionn's luck. He debated whether he should fight this battle or simply flee. It wasn't cowardice, he just wanted to take the crystals and leave the wildlife alone - it wasn't as though the dragon was at fault for protecting its home.
When the raging inferno came to an end, Fionn felt a small wave of cold. And he was just getting used to the nice heat.
"What are you supposed to be?!" a loud booming voice demanded. "No fire protection can withstand my flames!"
Another wave of fire came in, which was really more like a small breeze of hot air to Fionn.
"I am-" he tried, but the next blast came immediately after.
He waited out a few more attempts at melting him or cooking him to a crisp before there was a long pause.
"Are you sated?" Fionn asked.
Maybe it was just Fionn, but he could've sworn the dragon rolled its eyes. "Ugh, mortals get ever more annoying by the century."
"Darling, what are you doing?"
Another dragon came walking into view, this one only slightly smaller and walking with an air of superiority. Her voice sounded female compared to the flame-thrower one, so Fionn assumed they were a couple.
"Oh, Nix, it's been a while," she said, with significantly less hostility than her mate.
"Nix?" said mate asked. "He doesn't look like Nix. Wait a minute…"
The female smacked her tail against his head in one swift motion. "You always think with your fire first. Sorry, Nix. I suppose 50 years is a little too much for his pea brain to remember."
"Um…my name is not Nix," Fionn said awkwardly.
"Oh, what do you go by now?"
"I…well, I am Fionn, but…I have never been known as Nix previously."
The female dragon walked up to him and stuck her nose close to sniff him. "Hm…I wonder…how old are you?"
"I count by the decade, and I believe four have passed in faerie time. Although my excursions outside and in to faerie prove to make my age a complicated matter. Especially since I have joined the Wild Hunt - where we go where fate takes us."
"Oh, we know about the Hunt," the male dragon drawled. "Gwyn's iffy, but the rest of those nutters under his command have no respect. They just walk right in here and expect not to get burnt to a crisp. Why do they even want these crystals, anyway? At this point, I'm just protecting them because others seem to think that they're valuable - and I don't like people who barge in here because they feel entitled getting what they want."
"Yes, and you've done a wonderful job at burning them to ashes, darling," the female said. "But this is Phoenix. The saying about fighting fire with fire is just idiotic in theory and in practice. In any case, it seems you are going through your cycle once more. I am Teine and this is Lasair. We are Draco-Infernians. You are Phoenix, youngest of the Infernians."
"What cycle do you speak of that makes me this Phoenix?" Fionn asked.
Teine sat down, crossing her two front legs casually. "I'm afraid I'm unable to tell you more. I fear I have spoken of too much already. You yourself must always be the one to learn of your origins as you grow, as it has always been. Suffice to say, we are gods ruling over certain domains. My husband and I are part Draconian and part Infernian, if it wasn't clear. If you ever need help, don't be afraid to come to us for assistance. We can't help with your memory - that's something you have to learn yourself - but if you unlock your powers, we can maybe teach you."
"Um…you have my thanks."
"I don't understand why you even go through the cycle, anyway," Lasair murmured. "What's the point of being in those weak bodies at all?"
"It must keep the excitement in their lives," Teine suggested, before looking back to Fionn. "In any case, you came for crystals, no? And I see you've collected your share."
"Yes, I…I must take my leave," Fionn said. "I give you my thanks for your aid."
Fionn bowed as Teine nodded her head and then expanded her wing to smack Lasair into doing the same. When Fionn left the crystal room, he quickly hurried away down the paths. Phoenix…it sounded foreign and yet still familiar. Infernians meant fire, obviously, and so perhaps that would explain Fionn's natural prowess over flames, much stronger than any other faerie he'd encountered. There were powerful mages out there, of course, but it usually took a very long time and a good deal of training to get to Fionn's level of skill. Fire had always come naturally to him, it had never been draining. Sure, he hadn't tried anything too drastic in a long time, but he wasn't out of practice, either.
As Fionn left the nice warm volcanic land, he pondered the ramifications of him being some sort of deity. As he thought back, he realized that there was a story he'd once heard the word 'Infernians' in. The Astrals were a children's tale, and though some believed them to be real, many were afraid to admit so. The Infernians were just one of many different categories of Astrals, Draconians being another. Each were masters of a certain area of expertise, the Infernians being different types of fire and the Draconians being dragons. There were Astrals of ice, water, wind, lightning, nature, life, death, and probably more than were on record. And Fionn was supposed to be the Infernian Phoenix.
Fionn reported in to Gwyn, handing over the bag of fire crystals. "Might I inquire the reason you are in need of such rocks?" Fionn asked.
"I owe a favor to a witch that requested the mineral, though none have been capable of traversing the treacherous terrain, nor defeat the guardians. It seems I was correct in assuming your capabilities extended to fire and lava immunity."
Fionn frowned. "Might I ask what your plans were should your hypothesis have be proven false?"
"I have confidence in your survival capabilities. You would have done all you could to accomplish your mission, and you would have the wisdom to know when you must retreat."
Fionn rolled his eyes, a key skill he had learned from Pyre when one was annoyed but wished not to speak all of the absurd reasons why - instead opting for a single gesture - and finished his report before departing. He considered the ramifications of being an Infernian once more, staring down at his hand as he summoned a small flame.
Questions swirled through his head. If he was an Infernian, why had he never known before? Why had he been born to a water nixie of all creatures? Did it explain why he was so uncomfortable as himself? The Astrals were ancient, but Fionn was barely half a century old. If this cycle thing had anything to do with lost memories, it meant that Fionn had some training to do. He had to grow stronger, figure out who he was, and hope that it didn't change everything about him for the worse.
Who knows what kind of person he was before?
'Don't Think Twice' is from Kingdom Hearts 3 (It has been ten years! Gimme da game already!)
