Masked
"It-It happened when I was 14… After that, I've never been quite er- the same." Alec began shakily, biting his lip as he attempted to hold back the fear, rather than letting it pour out of him. Shadowhunters weren't supposed to be afraid of anything. Yet, sometimes Alec couldn't help it. After everything that had happened, how could Alec not be fearful of the world around him? How could he not be frightened of himself?
"How so?" Magnus' voice was velvet soft while his eyes studied Alec with nothing other than concern. It caused Alec's heart to pound — the last thing he wanted to do was disappoint Magnus or scare him away.
"I have these… episodes, as Jace calls them." Squeezing his eyes shut, Alec willed himself to level his voice. He tried to block the sound of his heart out of his ears while his hands clenched into fists by his sides. "The Silent Brothers, warlocks… even those who live in the Spiral Labyrinth, they've all tried to… fix me. But they can't. It's incurable."
"Incurable?" Magnus' voice was no higher than a whisper and his hand tightened around Alec's.
Taking another deep breath, Alec nodded, a frown weaving its way into his expression. Bum-Bum. Bum-Bum. Bum-Bum.
"The powder that your parabatai retrieved for you?" Magnus' own frown only deepened as he spoke. Alec noted a slight hesitance to his tone, as if he was no longer willing to hear anymore.
Shaking his head, Alec looked down towards the table. "It only helps for a limited time. It doesn't stop them completely." His own voice sounded so dejected as he spoke, Alec almost wished he could change their conversation back to how it was before. But it was too late: the light, flirtatious tone of their date had dissipated and it was all Alec's fault.
"Them?" Magnus brushed his thumb over the top of Alec's hand soothingly, his once gleaming cat eyes now seemed to be clouded with confusion.
"My… episodes." Alec configured tentatively. "They usually happen if something triggers it… like a spike in adrenaline, emotion or something strange in my bloodstream… l-like the vampire bite. Or they happen if I forget to take a little bit of the powder every week. But they've happened at random before too."
"The powder… What ingredients does it contain? Who provides it for you?" Magnus questioned.
"I- I don't know… A delivery is sent to institute from the Spiral Labyrinth every year containing it. It's never signed by name."
Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out.
"Alexander…" Magnus began, his voice almost seeming uncertain — a strange quality for Magnus to ever portray. "The veins in your arms - "
Alec flinched involuntarily. He tried to move his shaking hand out of Magnus' but his grip only tightened.
"They contain demon blood?" Magnus asked delicately, his thumb brushing over Alec's hand once again.
Squeezing his eyes shut for a moment, Alec paused, his breath catching painfully in his throat. "Y-Yes." He choked out. "It poisons my bloodstream." Looking up at Magnus' sceptical eyes, Alec chose to continue further, attempting to keep his breaths level. "It's contained at my wrists… If I have a-an episode, then it tries to move upwards… towards my heart."
"The powder somehow pushes it back and dilutes its effects?"
Alec was surprised at how much Magnus was able to fill in the gaps for himself. Then again, he was a centuries old warlock who'd likely had a tremendous amount of experience dealing with rare diseases among the supernatural. It was difficult to remember sometimes that Magnus was far older than he looked.
"I think so." Alec nodded.
"Would you mind if I take a sample of the powder myself? It would be intriguing to take a look at its properties — possibly even adjust them - "
"No." A stream of unwelcome feelings flooded Alec in response and the voice that spoke was cooler than he wished it to be. "I don't need your help, I've had enough help."
He cares about you, Alec. That's why he's trying to help you, Alec tried reminding himself, but this thought did nothing to diminish his slight anger. Look at what father did when he tried to help. Shuddering, Alec struggled to contain himself.
"Alexander…" Magnus began, but Alec interrupted him almost instantly.
"No, Magnus," He stated, pulling his hand out from under Magnus'. This time Magnus made no move to stop him. "I-I can't deal with someone else trying to fix me or the powder… I-I've been e-experimented on… They k-kept me - " Alec paused, forcing his eyes shut while he held his head in his hands, his fingers grasping his hair. "I can't do this. I can't speak about this anymore. I thought I could, but I can't." Abruptly pulling himself to his feet, Alec tried hard to avoid looking Magnus' in the eye, ashamed with his sudden, almost unprovoked outburst.
"Alexander…"
Alec stopped as Magnus grabbed his hand, gently tugging him back. After a few stubborn moments of degrading thoughts, Alec forced himself to turn and meet Magnus' eyes; his yellow eyes gleamed with sympathy while his expression conveyed his unspoken apology.
"Don't call me that." Alec snapped, though he felt his expression drop upon seeing Magnus' face tighten.
"Alec- " He corrected formally, his tone controlled yet laced with hints of condolence. "I apologise for my prying. It was not my intention to hurt you. We don't have to broach the subject again, but will you stay?"
Alec sighed, allowing his body to relax in relief. Pushing all his thoughts away from his condition, he returned to the table. An electric silence fell over them for a few moments while Alec sat with his head in his hands, staring down at the table. He tried to ease his heavy breathing and pounding heart.
"I'm sorry- " Alec lifted his head, meeting Magnus' concerned eyes. However, before he could continue, he was interrupted by the ringing of a phone - his phone. Feeling a deep frown pull at his expression, Alec fumbled around in his pocket, before grabbing his vibrating phone. He looked up with widened eyes as he spotted Jace's name flashing across his screen.
"Jace?" Alec answered his phone.
"Alec." Jace seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. Down the phone, Alec could hear the frantic breaths of his parabatai and the whistle of wind, as if Jace was running — fast. "How quickly can you get here?"
"Why? Has something happened?" Alec asked frantically.
"Well if a dozen demons ambushing us after we arrived is classed as 'something happening', then sure." Jace spoke sarcastically. A female grunt sounded down the phone causing Alec to wince.
"Jace - what's happening?" Alec demanded.
"We're fighting them off, but there's too many. As much as I don't want to admit it, we need help," Jace answered, while the cry of a demon crackled down the phone.
"I'm coming." Alec stood up, barely even acknowledging Magnus as he ran towards the restaurant door. "I'll come as fast I can. Where are you?"
"Where are at a- " And just as Jace was about to speak, the phone went dead. Eyes wide, Alec looked down desperately at his phone, only to see the red battery sign flashing across the screen. He squeezed the phone in anger, before clutching his head as his mind raced with anxious thoughts.
Alec jumped as he felt a familiar hand touch his shoulder and turned jerkily. "This is all my fault. If I hadn't of—If I'd have just gone with them…"
"If you'd have gone with them then who would have alerted me of the danger?" Magnus said, his hand caressing Alec's cheek softly. Alec felt himself faintly relax. "I know where they are. If we could just find a quiet alleyway then I can create a portal and we'll be on our way."
The peaceful and loose composure of Magnus reminded Alec that as long as he remained calm, everything would run smoothly. After all Jace and Izzy would soon have an extra shadowhunter and the high warlock at their aid. Just stay calm Alec. Keep calm.
"Let's go." Nodding right towards the nearest gap between the high rise buildings of New York City, Alec strode forward with Magnus following his step. He remained silent, his eyes set hard ahead so he didn't become distracted by Magnus. Just the mere presence of him caused Alec to loose slight focus on his goal.
"Here we are. This is perfect," Magnus announced, a smile playing on his lips as he looked around the darkened, damp alleyway with an expression of delight.
"Wait…" Alec frowned. So suddenly something had dawned on him. "How do you know where they are? When you tried to locate Clary and Simon you needed an object and it took you longer…"
Magnus' expression fell. "I already knew where they were before you arrived today, Alexander. It was I who gave them the lead. The Daylighter's location is continuously changing, however, I managed to find a location in which he keeps appearing. I informed them yesterday."
"Why didn't you just tell me?" Alec demanded, feeling a slight pang in his chest. Shame welled within him at the thought of him letting Izzy and Jace go alone on such an important mission. He'd merely thought it was just another raid on a useless location. "Why did I leave them on their own?" Alec gripped his hair yet again, his hands shaking.
"I was under the impression that you did not wish for your parabatai to know that you were in contact with me. Therefore all information I pass along I pass to him." Magnus answered quietly. It was clear that he didn't want to provoke more anger within Alec. "I'd have thought that he might have told you."
"He tried," Alec muttered defensively. Letting out another deep, frustrated sigh, Alec jumped as a pop sounded in the air and a colourful portal appeared next to him. "Magnus, I-"
"Shh." Magnus held a finger to Alec's lips. Feeling an almost familiar surge of tingles flow through him, Alec loosened in response. "We can speak afterwards. After all, our date is yet to finish."
"Ok," Alec nodded. "Ok." He repeated in assurance.
With a small, concerned smile radiating from his glittering lips, Magnus weaved his fingers through Alec's, locking their hands together before pulling him through and into the portal. For a few moments everything appeared in blinding colours - warped shapes and bright lights faded into one forever changing image in front of Alec's eyes. Then everything stopped. The warehouse appeared.
"This way. Follow me," Magnus ordered authoritatively, his hand giving Alec's a small squeeze before he let go.
Alec shadowed Magnus, remaining behind him with his seraph blade held defensively in front of him. Gliding seamlessly along the gnarled pathway, Alec focused on his senses, listening out for any signs of danger while his eyes fleeted from left to right. The warehouse was located in a remote area of New York by the sea. The swishing of the waves echoed in the air and the area appeared desolate, as if it had scared any source of life away. There was a sincere lack of wildlife or shrubbery around the area and the building itself was a mangled grey colour, its roof half impended. From a distance, however, the faint sound of demon cries could be heard. Alec knew they were close.
While continuing to follow Magnus footsteps, Alec's eyes narrowed before he stepped through the doorway of the abandoned building. Instantly, the air seemed to drop in degrees - an icy breeze swept through the air, chilling Alec to his core. On his hand, Magnus ignited a flame that hovered just above his olive skin. It lit the dim corridor just enough for them to see forward.
A cry jerked off of the walls and without warning, Magnus took off, sprinting down the corridor like a fixated cat hunting its prey. Holding back the welling feeling of trepidation, Alec continued after Magnus, swiftly pulling out his stele and tracing a night vision and stealth rune onto the top of his forearm.
Stele away and Seraph blade out, Alec ran. He could feel his heart pounding against his chest, the sweet adrenaline rushing through his ears as he felt the familiar, glorious feeling of truly acting like a shadowhunter. One who wasn't poisoned. One who could sprint and fight freely without the constant worry.
The cries grew louder and soon Alec could see a harsh yellow light at the end of the corridor, which Magnus' slender body was partially blocking out. As soon as they made it through the broken doorway, Magnus froze, throwing an arm out to catch Alec before he continued on.
With widened eyes and frantic breaths, Alec looked around in worried horror, tightening his grasp on his seraph blade. In the centre of the room, Jace and Izzy stood back to back, with their whip and seraph blade brandished in front of them, their only aim to kill. However, Alec could easily read the frightened terror in their eyes. After all, the many demons who were littered around the fiery lit room were not the simple kind that they found in raids. They were Eidolon demons; in the form of Clary and Simon. Clary's blazing red hair filled the room while the many different Simons stood as awkwardly as if they were the real thing. But what if they one of them were real? Alec thought to himself. What if Jace and Izzy had killed the real Clary and Simon by accident?
"Frigore inferni daemones!" Magnus' voice boomed while he held his hands out in front of him, misty smoke puffing from his fingertips, causing the room to fill with a cloudy haze. The demon cries heaved to a halt. Everything shuddered into silence. The many Clarys and Simons froze, mid stance; the only thing moving was their eyes that flickered with black and red speckles.
"Jace!" Alec rushed forward, dodging nimbly around the frozen demons. "Izzy, are you alright?"
"Splendid, Alec." Jace spoke first, his voice sounding like a choking cat. His whole body was shaking and he couldn't seem to tear his eyes away from the Clary demon he was just about to kill. "Just splendid."
A frown tugging at his expression, Alec reached out and grasped Jace's wrist, pulling his arms out of its attacking position. Turning to Alec with anguished, gold eyes, Jace stared for a moment, appearing more childlike than Alec had ever seen him before. Finally, after a few seconds of silence, Jace lowered his sword and grasped Alec in a one arm embrace. Sighing in relief, Alec held his parabatai, before switching his attention to his motionless sister.
"Izzy?" Alec took a step forward, feeling Jace's stiff presence still behind him.
"I'm fine." She spoke through gritted teeth, her voice no higher than a whisper. Her whip was still wrapped around the neck of a frightened, Simon look-alike demon. "I'm fine." Her voice sounded determined, but her expression held nothing but sorrow.
"You need to leave," Magnus told them in a business-like tone. Moving back to face Magnus, Alec noted that his cat eyes were set hard ahead, looking at anything but him. "All of you. Now. The spell won't hold for much longer and I can't have you pesky Shadowhunters in the way while I clean up your mess."
"I can't leave," Jace muttered, shaking his head in objection. "Not until I know that my real Clary isn't here. And Simon." Alec turned back to look at Jace and placed a hand on his shoulder in comfort.
"Oh, they're not here," Magnus informed him passively. "If any of these figures were human then they would not have frozen. You Shadowhunters do study Latin right? I'm sure the spell clearly stated-"
"Come on. Magnus is right, we need to leave," Alec interrupted, taking hold of Izzy's hand and pulling her forward, while indicating for Jace to follow him. Making sure that his family were safely in front of him, Alec's eyes flickered from demon to demon, making sure that none of them were about to attack.
"Wait outside the warehouse and I will portal you all back to the institute," Magnus ordered as Jace passed by him, barely even acknowledging that he was there. Both Jace and Izzy, Alec noted, seemed to be lost in their own worlds; they both stood slumped, their downward expressions conveyed their lingering terror and misery. Alec felt his mind cloud with concern and shameful thoughts. If only he'd been there to help in the first place, then maybe he could have killed the Eidolon demons himself. Alec couldn't imagine what it must feel like to kill the image of the one you loved over and over again.
After Izzy and Jace had gone far enough ahead, Alec paused and placed his hand confidently on Magnus' shoulder. Magnus relaxed under his touch, his eyes meeting Alec's with a soft concern that hadn't been visible before.
"I'm not leaving you here. I'll kill the demons with you," Alec stated, pulling his hand back awkwardly, not really knowing what to do with it. Before, Magnus had caressed Alec's cheek without a single shred of hesitance; like it was a gesture he knew how to do well. Alec had never been in any sort of dating relationship like this before. He felt completely oblivious, as if he was a child learning to talk for the first time.
"Alexander, go. I can handle a few Eidolon demons myself. Warlocks as powerful as I don't need the aid of Shadowhunters, you'll find that it's usually the other way round," Magnus spoke gently, though his tone hinted at an underlying irritation that Alec hadn't previously heard.
"I want to help," Alec responded with a soft smile. "You've done everything you can for my family. You don't need to exert yourself over some lesser demons that I can handle. It's the least I can do for you."
"I just don't wish for you to hurt yourself, darling. Or be forced to kill those you know and love." A hint of a frown seemed to pull at Magnus expression. "Are you sure?"
"I need to do this. For Jace and Izzy."
"Very well." Magnus nodded his head, before turning away to face the mass of frozen Eidolon demons. "Prepare yourself."
Stood with his seraph blade raised to his chest, Alec took a sideways stance, his body turning rigid with anticipation.
"I'm ready," Alec spoke confidently, willing his mind to ignore the fact that each demon represented people who Jace and Izzy cared about — people who Alec could almost consider to be friends.
Magnus glanced at Alec once more, his eyes filled with a flicker of unknown emotion, then he raised his fingers, clicking them loudly. The sound expanded, echoing around the room, before the haze dissipated and angered demon cries flooded Alec's ears. Blue smoke instantly skimmed past Alec, hitting the first demon that was charging towards him and imploding it into a pile of darkened ashes. The ashes folded inwards, deporting the demon back to its hell dimension.
"Be careful, darling." Magnus smiled, his eyes wistful for a moment. In return, Alec smiled at his concern, watching as Magnus threw himself into action, his body felinely gliding forward, blue smoke shooting from his fingertips like bullets from a gun.
Shaking his head and tearing his eyes away from Magnus - who had distracted him more than he should have - Alec too launched himself forward, slicing through the first demon with ease. The Clary lookalike shrunk back with a pained wail, before attempting to charge forward again. Alec threw his arm out, knocking the demon back and plunging the sword straight through its heart. Instantly, it crumpled to the floor, black liquid pooling around its body which was flickering between different faces. The demon twitched as the blood oozed and stained the floor, before it suddenly began to condense.
Alec continued to fight with Magnus by his side. They moved in close sync, slaughtering the demons that attacked, fighting together as one. Despite the slight pang he felt in his chest every time he submerged his sword into Clary or Simon's body, he'd soon grown used to the feeling, his mind continually telling him that they weren't real. Alec fought with confident agility, while Magnus fought with skilled twirls and flicks of the wrist, attacking each demon with a graceful, almost dance-like approach.
They were close to the final demons and Alec smiled upon hearing Magnus' chuckle at the poor attempts to kill him. After killing so many of the Eidolon demons all at once, they'd soon become predictable; their moves all mimicked one another, despite their species being known as one of the better fighters out of the lesser demons.
"Alexander…" A whisper hissed through the air, flowing through his ears softly. Upon hearing the sound, Alec turned to Magnus in reply, but only caught Magnus' deep frown. It had not been him who had spoken.
"Alexander Lightwood…" The voice sounded serpent-like - inhuman. "Demon. One of us."
Alec felt his body tighten upon hearing the words and he turned his head to see Magnus inching closer towards him, while still attacking one of the final four demons.
Suddenly, everything seemed to happen at once.
A cackle echoed off of the walls, the source of it unknown. Eyes fleeting around the room, Alec tried desperately to locate the continuous hiss of laughter, before he returned his attention to the demons in front. Each of them blurred, their bodies moving quickly back and forth on the spot. Just as Magnus finally reached Alec's side, the demons appeared once again in the form of one. Alec's mind froze. His heart stammered. His body tensed.
Maryse Lightwood. Mom.
"Alec, my son."
It was her voice. It was her body. It was her face. She was wearing the same clothing, the same broken expression. Her body stood slumped, exhausted. Her hands shook at her sides. Her eyes echoed her fearful remorse.
"Alec…No. Please," Her voice whispered, her tone pleading and shaky.
Alec's mouth hung open in shock, his blade slipped through his fingers, clattering to the floor as the image of his mother strolled forward. It was all he could hear; the blood crashing through his veins like tidal waves, his heart tearing itself free from his body, his demonic blood pulsing in his veins, threatening him.
It's just a demon Alec. It's tricking you. He tried convincing himself, but to no avail.
"Mom." A choked whisper escaped his lips. His mother shrunk back away from him. Then, in one swift movement, Magnus threw himself in front of Alec, just as the demon's claws shot forward. Alec gasped as his mother yelped in pain, blue smoke hitting her directly in the chest. Her body crumpled, limp and motionless.
No. Not again.
Letting out one final cry of pain, his mother drew in on herself, before turning dark and oozing herself in blackened blood. She vanished in a flash, not even a speckle of her blood was left behind.
Alec breathed. In. Then out. In. Out. His body relaxed and he squeezed his eyes tightly shut. It wasn't real Alec. None of it was real. It was just a demon.
Opening his eyes, Alec looked at Magnus, who was staring ahead, motionless. The room was left with no traces of any demonic activity — they were the only ones there.
With his head hung low and his heart racing, he moved forward, almost instinctively, seeking comfort from the only source he could think of. The mere presence of Magnus only inches from him provided some sort of relief. He could feel the heat radiating from Magnus' body. He could hear the shallow sound of Magnus' ragged breaths.
"I don't know what happened," Alec whispered, his voice croaky and broken.
"Are you alright?" Magnus didn't turn but Alec could hear the concern in his voice.
"I'm fine… I think." Alec frowned as heard his own shaking voice. "Are you?"
Turning around, Magnus looked upon Alec with nothing other than affecton. However, his expression held some sort of pain. But not the sort of pain that Alec had seen him express before. No, this was different, it was like…
Alec's eyes shot downwards in a haste, his attention focused on Magnus body. He noticed it instantly. Magnus' once shimmering, elaborate top was now torn to shreds at the front and scarlet blood oozed from a wound in his chest in the shape of claw marks. Despite the pain he was clearly feeling, Magnus' full focus was on Alec. It was as if Alec was the only thing in the world that mattered.
"You're hurt," Alec stated the obvious, his ragged breath catching in his throat.
Magnus shrugged and Alec noticed how he winced at the small movement. "It's nothing I can't fix once we return."
"This is my fault - if I hadn't of - " Alec shook his head, the familiar guilt surging through his body, poisoning his veins.
"One thing I have learned about you today, Alexander, is that you always blame yourself for other's problems," Magnus spoke in a delicate whisper. "What happened here was none of your doing. You don't need to apologise to me."
"But - "
"Shh," Magnus interrupted, holding a finger up to Alec's lips. "If you wish to apologise properly, then there is a way without words."
Alec paused, unsure for a moment to what Magnus meant. Seemingly sensing Alec's confusion, Magnus lowered his fingers, his eyes tracing over Alec's lips. Taking another, hesitant step closer, Alec instinctively brought his hands up, placing his hand gently on Magnus' cheek. Magnus' olive skin felt smooth under his touch and Alec's eyes flickered down to his glittered lips. As he moved closer, Alec could feel Magnus' short breaths of anticipation. He brought their lips together, caressing Magnus' with his own, revelling in the taste he had desperately missed. Moving his hand down, he trailed his fingers over Magnus' collarbone, then chest before resting both his hands on Magnus' slender hips. Magnus jerked slightly at his touch, his lips applying a harder pressure to Alec's. A pleasured smile tugged at Alec's lips as Magnus wrapped his arms around Alec's neck, weaving his fingers through Alec's wavy hair and tugging him closer. His whole body felt alive under Magnus' touch, like he was being lifted weightlessly upwards.
For the first time since the age of 14, Alec no longer felt as if he was awaiting his descent to hell. Now he was flying high towards heaven.
So I know there were probably less answers in this chapter than you wanted but Alec wouldn't be Alec if he didn't shy away from telling Magnus. It's not exactly the easiest thing for him to explain and he's never had to do it before. I hope you liked reading this chapter! And i'm sorry, I know this probably gives you more questions than answers but all will be revealed in due time :D Let me know what you think by reviewing and don't forget to favourite/follow.
On another note, what did you guys think to the Shadowhunters finale? As much as I didn't think the show was bad, I also did think that it could be better. The Malec kiss was the highlight of the show and the Malec episode and episode 5 were the best in the season. Don't get me wrong I love the acting in the show (besides Clary and Jace sometimes - but they've got progressively better), it's the writing that bugs me. I don't mind that they've changed the plot line, in fact I like that because it makes the show unpredictable. It's just I really don't think the writers quite have a strong grasp of the characters yet meaning the things they do and say come out a little wrong sometimes on screen and either make it cheesy, cringy or just annoying to watch. For example: in a video I watched, they described Alec as 'confident' and anyone who's read the books know that Alec is the opposite of that, he's 'uncomfortable in his own skin'. I know that for show purposes they've changed some of the characters but surely the main ones should have similar characteristics? Another thing that slightly bugged me was how much they hyped everything up, because I only ended up being disappointed with it (besides the Malec kiss). They've been over advertising it a little bit, although I am grateful that they're communicative with fans. But everyone was saying from the start that the finale would shock us, and surely I wasn't the only one who predicted what would happen at the end like two weeks before it happened? Anyway, enough of the negative, I can't wait for Season 2 and more Malec and hopefully some Sizzy.
If you haven't already, then please check out the Shadowhunter videos I've posted on my youtube channel. I'm called daretodream and I've recently posted a new video about Jace and his storyline throughout the season, finishing at 1x13.
Thank you for reading and more updates soon! x
Daretodream
