SeiSei: Sorry that I haven't updated for a few days…I meant to, but stuff kept on coming up. Anyway, I was hoping that the revelation of Meiling's secret would get some more reviews, but thanks so much to those that did review—it means a lot to me.
Disclaimer: I don't own CCS.
Chapter 11
"What are you going to name him?"
"Er…" Sakura, blushing and bedridden, did not know the answer to that question. She looked down at her son, who lay in her arms peering curiously up at her. He had a tuft of dark brown hair from the moment he was born, and already (or maybe it was her imagination) looked like Syaoran. His eyes, however, were the nondescript blue-gray of a newborn baby.
"Xiao Lang would want to name him Ryo—" Meiling continued talking but Sakura tuned the rest out, and wished, furiously, that her son's eyes would be green like hers, that in some way people would know it was her child.
"I have not yet thought of a name for my son."
Meiling left the room. Sakura smiled to herself, but it quickly faded as the baby began to cry. Sighing, she gave him her breast, and got to thinking of her escape.
She was not allowed out in Hong Kong, so she didn't know if there would be anyone with a boat at all, but she had to try. She had nicked enough things with the Li family crest on them to convince almost anyone to take her to Japan.
What would she do when she got there? Well she'd just have to cross that bridge when she got to it.
The next few days were tense: Meiling insisted upon calling the baby Ryo, but Sakura continued to refer to him as "my son", infuriating Meiling all the more.
Just a few days after the baby was born, Sakura took him to the temple, unnoticed by anyone (Meiling was painting again). They went inside, and in the cool and soothing temple, Sakura finally named him:
"Li Touya."
When she said the name, she began to cry. Touya only gurgled happily and tried to catch her tears as they fell. Sakura resolved to leave that night for Tomoeda.
At dinner, she was more relaxed than usual. The maid staff played with the baby while she ate. Meiling suddenly poked her head in the door and motioned to Sakura.
"Come with me."
Sakura, scared, took one last look at her baby ("He'll be fine with us, Sakura!") and followed Meiling upstairs to her bedroom. She had not yet packed, so as not to be suspicious, and wondered silently what Meiling wanted with her now.
"Let me get rid of that for you."
She held out a pair of scissors and began cutting Sakura's bleached hair away. It was much shorter than before, and now she had bangs. Two pieces in front were longer than the rest of her hair, but it didn't matter. Sakura was happy it was gone.
"Thank you," she said, as Meiling's clever fingers began combing it out. She was suddenly sorry to be leaving, but then she remembered the letter opener and the turpentine, and her back stiffened.
Meiling's fingers stopped for only a fraction of a second, but Sakura knew that she noticed. She could feel her narrowed eyes glaring at the back of her head. However, when Meiling spoke, her voce was completely calm,
"I hope you find happiness."
That was the last thing that Meiling said to her, and that night as she stole out of the house under cover of dark, Sakura smiled to think that maybe they could have been friends, had the circumstances been different.
She snuck towards the docks from which she and Syaoran had come, and found an old man sitting by a fire on the beach. Clutching the sleeping Touya closer, she crept near him and spoke, trying to sound more confident than she felt.
"Excuse me, but could you take me to Japan?"
"Hn?"
The man gazed up at her sleepily. His eyes slid from her face to the baby to the large sack of treasure she held at her side.
"How much will you pay me?"
Sakura took a deep breath. She had rehearsed this.
"I will give you two solid gold goblets embossed with the Li family crest to board, and when I have reached my destination, I will give you two more and a message to bring back to Hong Kong."
The man said nothing, looking at her thoughtfully. She worried that perhaps she had spoken too fast—she was very nervous.
"What is your destination?"
"Er—Tomoeda"
"Ah. Well that seems in order. Come along."
Sakura followed, at last feeling confident, and they boarded the ship. He said nothing to her the whole night, and showed her a small cabin in which to sleep. Laying Touya in a makeshift crib, Sakura fell asleep easily, as they departed for Tomoeda.
There it was! Home! The trip from Hong Kong to Tomoeda was so short, she thought, no wonder Father wanted to marry Touya there.
"Now, lassie, I'll be needin' the other half of my payment."
Sakura picked out the two goblets from her bag and handed them to him. He held them to the sun, checking them for authenticity. Satisfied, he turned away.
"Wait! Er…Will you convey a message back for me?"
He turned around slowly, and Sakura knew from the look in his eyes he would need extra payment to do this. She pulled out a silver snuffbox, all the way from Europe, and held it out to him. When he grabbed for it; however, she closed her hand.
"Tell Li Syaoran that his son is here, in Tomoeda, please."
The sailor nodded and took the snuffbox. He repeated the message back to her, to prove he knew it, and then they came into harbor.
It was not the harbor she visited as a child. It was in the dirtier and poorer part of Tomoeda, a place she had never been allowed to visit. She stepped off, holding her treasure tightly and Touya even tighter—
"Sakura?!"
"Who's there?"
Sakura whirled around. There, in the garbs of a peasant, was her brother, Touya.
"Monster! I'm so happy to see you!"
He went to embrace her but she drew back, terrified,
"Stay away from my child, ghost! And I'm not a monster!"
Touya laughed but then looked deadly serious. He grabbed her arm—wait, he grabbed it, he was solid! He pulled her down a couple alleyways, Sakura maintaining her hold on her son and treasure. Finally they came to a small house and he pulled her inside.
"Touya! I thought—"
He covered her mouth and said, speaking very quietly,
"Don't draw attention to yourself. I'm in hiding."
"What? Why?"
"I couldn't marry her…"
"Li Fuuti? Why not? Touya what's going on?"
Touya sighed and released her. He closed his eyes, thinking, and then smiled.
"Oh Sakura, you always knew that Yukito and I loved each other. Don't pretend you didn't know."
Well maybe she had some suspicions, but she never thought he would go so far as to go into hiding.
"I knew that Father wouldn't accept it, and so I sunk my little sailboat near some rocks a little ways out, and hid. The summer monsoons came, and when I didn't return from my sailing trip, Father assumed me dead—"
"Waaahhaaahaa!"
The little Touya began to cry. He was probably hungry. Touya stopped talking and stared at him, noticing him for the first time.
"Sakura, what is that thing?"
His voice was dangerously soft. But Sakura could feel her temper rising.
"My son, whom I named after you when I thought you were dead!"
Touya seemed very taken aback. He sat down in a small wooden chair and stared at the baby. When he spoke, he sounded almost apologetic.
"Who is the father?"
"Li Syaoran."
Looking even more befuddled than before, Touya watched as she gave the baby her breast. His crying stopped immediately.
"Tell me the whole story."
And so Sakura did, recounting how Syaoran wanted her to take Tomoyo from Eriol, how she got pregnant, and then, shakily, her time with Meiling. Touya stared at her thoughtfully and never interrupted her.
"You must leave the child with me."
"What? No, I can't let him go! I..I love him." But do I love his father?
"You must leave him with me and go back to Father. It will mend his broken heart, and you will be able to become part of society again."
Her eyes narrowed.
"What do you mean?"
"Isn't it obvious, monster? You need to get married! You're seventeen now, and it's high time you found a husband."
"But what about my son?"
Sakura grew angrier by the second. Touya was being a filthy hypocrite.
"Sakura, I will take care of him…there is no hope for me, I would only suffer if I went with you."
"How dare you? What of my suffering?"
Touya's face grew stern. He took his nephew, now sleeping, gently from Sakura. She knew the battle was lost. Touya was right.
"Go now, and visit as often as you can. I know a good wet nurse. He will be fine."
Sakura turned out the door, leaving the treasure behind. Her son must never lack anything.
"Tell her that I do not accept imposters!"
Fujitaka's voice sounded weary and irritated. Sakura had to get in, she had to! The butler came out again.
"I'm sorry madam, but about five hundred women have already come making your claim, and the master has grown weary of it."
"No! He will know me when he sees me! Madame Barakat! Madame Barakat where are you? You will know me too!"
She called desperately, at the top of her voice. Her old governess did not come.
"I'm sorry I never paid attention, I really am! I appreciate all you taught me! Please come help me, please!"
The butler looked quite shaken. He took Sakura's hand and led her into the drawing room.
"Madame Barakat has not worked here since you left, Miss Sakura, and no one has known her name!"
Fujitaka looked up from his writing desk, angry at being disturbed yet again. His face relaxed when he saw her and he stood up rapidly.
"Sakura!"
"Father!"
She rushed into his arms. How good it was to be held! She looked up into his face. The loss of his two children had affected him greatly. His face had more lines than she remembered, and a small streak of gray hair snuck into the brown from his left temple.
"How I missed you! Where have you been? You must tell me everything!"
He practically pushed her into one of the comfortable armchairs, and sent the butler for tea. Sakura recounted her story for the second time that day, but she left out the small detail of her pregnancy and her son.
"Oh my Sakura, such a heroine! I will call the dressmaker's tomorrow."
Sakura sighed into her tea. She would have to be a proper lady from now on. She thought longingly of Syaoran, and if he loved her. Her face darkened. If he had loved her, why hadn't he told her anything?
"We shall have a ball in honor of your return. Set the date for three weeks from now, and begin getting ready!"
Fujitaka busied himself ordering the servants around, and Sakura suddenly realized that Syaoran would return to Hong Kong in two weeks.
If he returns at all. Even if he does, who's to say he'll bother coming to find me?
Sakura could not remember her toilette taking so long. Her taffeta gown, a rosy pink, had still to be altered once paired with her laced up high heels ("The height of fashion in England!"). She wore extensions in her hair, allowing many plaits to loop upon themselves in an intricate pattern. Her eyes had never seemed brighter, nor her cheeks more flushed with color.
Three weeks had flown by, what with making preparations for the ball, and now she received guests every day. Fujitaka had decided she was ready to be a true lady, and gave her part of the responsibility of the household.
Every day she anxiously awaited those who came to call, eagerly hoping that Syaoran would be among them. Her disappointment, however acute the night before, would always vanish with the rising sun. But he had not come. Sakura knew better than to hope now.
She came down the grand staircase, now repaired from the pirate's attack, and began greeting the guests. She had never felt more beautiful. And lonely. The few visits she managed to make to her son just weren't enough, and she fretted about him constantly.
Yukito was a sweet man, and she felt she could forgive her brother his strange ways—
"Good evening, Sakura."
Her reverie was broken as a man with dark brown hair came and took her hand and kissed it. Intense amber eyes blazed as they looked up at her. He had come at last.
Sakura was speechless, but Syaoran only smiled.
"May I have you for the first waltz, Sakura?"
"I—uh—er—that is to say I—"
"—She'd be delighted, my good sir!"
Fujitaka smiled broadly at Syaoran and shook his hand. Syaoran thanked them both, gave Sakura a wink and walked off.
As if waking from a spell, Sakura found her tongue and continued to greet all the guests. When at last it seemed that everyone was here, she frantically sought Syaoran in the crowd, turning several invitations down for the first waltz as she went.
They found each other in the middle of the dance floor and he pressed her close to him as the music began to play.
"I got your message."
Well obviously.
"I'm not leaving here without you and our son."
"Oh really? And how are you going to manage that?"
She would not give into him so easily. She needed an explanation first. His face came closer to hers, and she could feel his breath on her nose as he whispered,
"I'm going to sweep you off your feet."
Sakura forced herself to laugh and took the lead in their waltz.
"It's going to be harder than you think."
"Oh is it?"
"Oh yes."
She was barely breathing. His body felt so warm against hers and she fought the desire that arose within her.
"Where is he?"
"He's hidden with my brother."
"What's his name?"
"Touya."
"I meant—"
She removed her hand from his shoulder and placed it over his mouth.
"They're both named Touya. I won't tell you why until you tell me—"
"Tell you what?"
He breathed the words softly from under her hand and kissed her palm. Several women gave them disapproving looks from over the shoulders of their partners.
"Everything."
People around them began changing partners; the second waltz was about to begin. Several men approached Sakura, who still peered determinedly into Syaoran's eyes. She rebuffed them without so much as glancing at them as she watched Syaoran stare back at her.
"Meiling and I were married when we were young—"
"I know that."
"We tried and tried, but—"
"You couldn't have a child."
"As the next head of household I had to put her away."
"And she married the man she truly loved."
The music started up again and they began to dance, almost unconsciously.
"And had his children."
"And you ran away, ashamed of your impotency."
"It wasn't like that!"
He looked hurt at her cruel comment, but he kept going.
"I left. My cousin Eriol was sent to find me. I became—"
"A pirate."
"But I could not keep him at bay, until he found Tomoyo."
Now he was venturing into what she did not know.
"I kidnapped her, and kept her on my ship. He left me alone… I thought that maybe if Tomoyo did not love him…"
"But she did. With all her heart."
"And they conspired against me. He then hoped to take you and…Touya."
The name sounded foreign on his lips. Sakura did not break his gaze.
"So you left me with Meiling, because she had to keep me a secret for her own sake."
She didn't mean for it to sound so much like an accusation, but she couldn't help it.
"I had no choice."
"Why not go home?"
She was pleading with him. He looked afraid.
"I will only go home when I am ready."
"When will that be?"
The waltz stopped.
"When I'm bringing you and Touya with me."
Whatever reaction he had hoped for, her sudden anger was not it.
"And you think I will just go with you?"
"I—er—yes?"
"No Syaoran, you stole my love the first time—now you must earn it!"
"And I will!"
His temper rose as well.
"You will have to court me the old-fashioned way!"
"And I will have you begging to marry me!"
People around them looked alarmed as they threw themselves apart and turned on their heels.
For the rest of the night; however, Syaoran danced with Sakura, only letting her go when she had promised herself to another. The games had begun.
SeiSei: Wow, that was my longest chapter yet! I think I'll try to make them all this long from now on…that is, if I get reviews. So please, please please review! Thanks!
