A/n
This has been sitting around on my computer for awhile, so I decided to post it. Hope you like it!
Gone
It was Christmas and Hatter had gone all out on the decoration which meant one overloaded electrical outlet and a blown fuse. She was at work and he didn't know how to fix it. She came home and found him sitting out in the hall reading a book.
"I didn't know what to do?" he said in his defense. "The lights only go out in Wonderland when there's a storm. I had no idea you could break electricity."
She showed him the fuse box and restored light to their apartment. "Next time don't plug so much into one spot, ok?"
Hatter went back to stringing lights around the window. "Yes ma'am."
This wasn't the first time he broke something and didn't know how to fix it and it probably wouldn't be the last. It was at this point she teased him. "You know, you were so put together in Wonderland. You knew everything there. You move to the other side of the Looking Glass, and suddenly you're breaking things left and right."
"Well, if that's what you think, then I suppose I could always go back to Wonderland. At least there I'm not as clumsy, yeah."
She laughed, he smiled, that was the end of it.
Except it wasn't. That simple little banter had been enough to plant the seed of doubt in her mind. Ever since Hatter had shown up, she never once considered he would leave her. He'd spent so much time protecting her and fighting to be by her side; he given up so much, and taken so many chances, just so they could be together. The idea of Hatter just walking away from her had never even crossed her mind. Odd since that had always been her first thought when getting involved with anyone, romantically or otherwise.
'I could always go back to Wonderland.' That wasn't what he meant. She'd teased him and he teased right back. It was light hearted and he didn't mean it that way. The rest of the night she tried to convince herself that was true. But she couldn't stop thinking about it.
What if Hatter left her? She was so completely in love with him and it made her heart hurt thinking that it could ever happen. Honestly, what tied him to her world? He had no family here, most if not all of his friends were hers as well. He had a good job here but that didn't compare to running his own business like he had in Wonderland. What was there to stop him for slipping back through the Looking Glass and never returning?
Hatter asked her why she was being so quiet. She just shrugged and said she had a bad day. He told her to lighten up. "How can you not be cheerful? Look at the tree, Alice. It's brilliant, isn't it?"
She had to agree, it was beautiful. He done a great job decorating and she admitted as much. She and her mother hadn't really celebrated Christmas since dad left. It just hadn't felt right without him. When she told Hatter that they didn't really 'do Christmas', he couldn't believe it. He said there was finally a decent holiday and there was no way they weren't going to celebrate it.
So they dug up all the old decorations from storage and she'd let Hatter have at it. They had an extremely expensive but very real tree, covered in a mix of old family ornaments and new ones, and what had to be ten strings of lights. Every window in the apartment had lights, except for the bedroom. He'd argued that the lights would make the room romantic but she assured him there would be no romance if even one light made its way into their room.
He'd even bought them each a stocking, which he'd hung on the wall behind the TV. Of all the things she would never have expected from her fast talking, ex-con boyfriend, was that he'd written their names in glitter paint at the top of each.
Even though the tree had only been up for a day, he already had gifts under it. Five perfectly wrapped gifts, two for her mother and three for her.
As much as she appreciated what a great job he had done she still couldn't shake the somber mood she'd gotten herself into. Hatter tried to make her feel better. He teased her about the gifts he'd bought her and how she would have to wait two weeks to find out exactly what they were. She smiled and tried to laugh but it wasn't working. All she could think about was how he could leave at any moment if he wanted too. She would miss his smile, his arms around her waist, his laughter and his voice, that accent she loved so much...
By the time they went to bed he'd stopped trying to cheer her up and started trying to get her to tell him what was wrong.
"Alice, is it something I did? Because if it is, I can't fix it unless you tell me."
"No, it's not you, it's me and it's embarrassing so just drop it, ok?" She was embarrassed. This was a childish fear and irrational. She didn't want to hurt him by voicing it, he didn't deserve that. He was happy and she was happy and there was no reason at all that she should ever doubt his loyalty and commitment to her. Even knowing all that, the fear of him leaving her was still there.
"I know what it is." he said, rolling onto his side and facing her. "It's Christmas isn't it? The whole thing about not wanting to celebrate because of your dad. It's made you sad, hasn't it?"
She didn't say anything and he must have taken that as a sign he was right. "He'd want you to be happy, luv. He wouldn't want you to give up the good things in life just because he's not here to share them with you."
"Hatter, that's not it." She had to tell him. If she didn't, it would just eat away at her. "It's what you said earlier."
He sighed and rolled over onto his back. "I knew it was something I did. What did I say? I didn't mean to upset you."
"I know you didn't, and it's not your fault. I'm just..." She didn't know how to put it in a way he would understand. She didn't want him to think she didn't trust him because she did, completely. "It was what you said, about going back to Wonderland."
"Alice, I didn't..."
"I know," she said, silencing him. "You're not going to leave me. I guess old habits die hard. I never even though about you going back to Wonderland until you mentioned it. I'm being silly, I just..." she trailed off, not knowing what she could really say to validate her feelings.
He pulled her close, wrapping her in a warm embrace. "I'm not going to leave you, not ever. I swear." He moved so he could look in her eyes. "It's just you and I now, you know that. Team Hatter, remember."
She laughed. "What happened to team Alice?"
"No, I've told you thats a girly name. Team Hatter sounds much better." He rolled on top of her. "If you think for one second I'd ever leave you then you and I are severely out of practice on our teamwork."
The next morning at breakfast, he handed her one of the gifts from under the tree.
"What's this?" she asked, taking the small box.
"Well, I was going to let you open this one early anyway. After last night, I figured I'd let you open it now."
She unwrapped the gift and opened the little white candy-cane covered box. It was an ornament, a little teacup with the words 'Our first Christmas' written on it. Two little mice sat in the teacup, hugging each other. It was the sweetest thing anyone had ever given her and she couldn't stop the few tears that welled up in her eyes.
She launched her self at him and hugged him as tight as she could. "It's perfect."
He held her tight and rested his cheek against her hair. "I thought we could get one every year, you know like a tradition." He took the ornament from her and flipped it over. "See, I already wrote the date on this one."
"Can I hang it on the tree?"
"Sure, " He motioned for her to go do just that. She picked a branch and hung the little teacup. It was the first Christmas ornament she'd hung since her dad left and she stopped celebrating the holiday. It spun slowly on the branch before stilling. It was a perfect example of their life together, surrounded by her old ornaments and the new Hatter had bought.
She leaned against him, resting her head on his shoulder. "I love you."
He pulled her close and pressed a kiss into her hair. "I love you too."
