Disclaimer
– (Walks out in
army attire including medals and riding crop) Alright troops. We don't own anything, UNDERSTOOD!
(Elves and Jack and Drake also in army outfits)
YES DRILL SERGEANT!
You will not take any and I mean ANY credit for the making of the film, do
I make myself clear!
YES DRILL SERGEANT!
And we did NOT write the book! A great man named Tolkien did, and we give
total credit to him and only him (and possibly Peter Jackson for the movies)
UNDERSTOOD.
YES DRILL SERGEANT!
We DO own Trinity and Jasmine
YES DRILL SERGEANT!
I CAN'T HEAR YOU
YES DRILL SERGEANT!
At Ease!
GUESS WHAT!
Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)
Real Identity Issues
Needless to say Filda
didn't return and Trinity was declared winner, the search party found nothing
except for her tracks leading to an old cave and nothing more. There was a funeral
and all these mourning things for her, and her family had dinner with the
king…or something like that to show that she would be missed. Trinity and
Jasmine meanwhile had a little party of their own. The song that was sung that
night…
"Ding done the witch is GONE"
"Shh quiet, do you wanna get caught?" a soft voice asked.
"No" another answered.
"Well shut up then" the first voice said as a (Thunk) was heard.
"Ow, hit me you did, why I wanna know"
"Cause you are a wanker"
As you've probably realised Trinity and Jasmine were hiding into the gardens…well you didn't know they were in the gardens did you...opps I forgot to mention it…well they are in the gardens! ANYWAY they weren't really hiding from anyone but then again they didn't really wanna be found.
"Look here it is" Jasmine said holding up a small furry thing in her hand.
"MmmMMMmmm" Trinity said (go on, try and make that noise and see how many weird looks you get!)
"Lets go" Jasmine said as she snuck out of the bush with Trinity hot on her heals. They snuck into the palace and bumped right into Elladan and Trydron.
"Opps" Jasmine said as she stepped back into Trinity.
"OI!" Trinity said giving Jasmine a push.
"Do I want to know what you're doing with that thing?" Elladan asked indicating to the quiet large furry caterpillar in Jasmine's hand.
"That you don't, confusion you'll have, go we must" Trinity said as she pulled on Jasmine's arm, moving past the confused elves.
"Did you understand a word she said?" Elladan asked turning to Trydron.
"No" He said with a smile as they headed towards the door, but Elladan stopped.
"I think they are up to something" he said but Trydron shook his head.
"They probably are but we were supposed to be at the training yard five minutes ago" Trydron said.
"Hmm you are right. But something is going on" Elladan said taking one last look down the hallway before disappearing out the door.
"Close that was" Trinity sighed as she watched the two elves leave.
"I know…why the hell are you talking like that?" Jasmine asked as they continued down the hallway.
"Yoda day it is!" Trinity said with a smile.
"Right, ok you get this ready and I will distract them, ok?" Jasmine said handing the HUGE caterpillar to Trinity.
"OK" She chirped and moved off as Jasmine headed towards Lord Elrond and Gandalf.
"By the Valar! The mud puddle ate Glorfindel!" she said faking breathlessness.
"WHAT?" Elrond said standing up from his chair and walking over to her and taking her by the shoulders.
"No time, the mud…evil…turkeys…GLORFINDEL he was sucked by the mud…the turkeys led him there!" She said pulling him towards the door and out of his office chamber. Gandalf followed.
"Where? What?" Gandalf asked as they started moving towards the doors.
"Near the training fields, quick!" Jasmine said as she pushed them out the doors and watched them head towards the fields, looking around in confusion. She headed back to the office to find Trinity standing there.
"Done?" she asked. Trinity nodded and sighed.
"Sink elves don't, stupid you are!"
"Shut up, they left didn't they" She said as they headed outside.
"Stupid too, they are" Trinity laughed as she watched a confused Elrond and bamboozled Gandalf walk towards them.
"What happened to Glorfindel?" Elrond asked raising a suspicious eyebrow at Jasmine.
"I said he eta seert elihw htiw eseehc ni eht tserof fo dnilb syeknom (read the words backwards)" Jasmine said
"Sorry, broken she gets, fix I will" Trinity smiled as she hit Jasmine on the back of the head.
"…and that's what I told you" Jasmine said putting her head in her hands "Didn't you find him?"
"Ah no he wasn't around there, I'm quite sure I heard you say a mud puddle ate Glorfindel" Elrond said watching as the girls looked confused.
"No, why would I say that" Jasmine said with a laugh.
"Sink elves don't, crazy you must be!" Trinity said shaking her head and holding back a smile.
"Alright" Elrond said slowly as he started to walk away, but Gandalf looked at the girls sternly.
"I am not so easily convinced" he said regarding them with a final glare before walking away.
"Oh Zippy Giggle-Tush, you worry too much" Jasmine laughed.
"You are both up to something and i will find out what it is!" he said before the disappeared into the palace. The girls looked at each other worriedly.
"What do you think?" Jasmine said, wondering if they would get caught.
"Think I do, elf yoda is" Trinity said seriously as she watched a butterfly land nearby.
"What?" Jasmine asked confused by her friend's statement.
"Pointy ears, they both have. Speak crazily they do" Trinity said as she jumped up and started to chase the butterfly.
"You speak crazy" Jasmine said as she threw a stone at her friend.
"Smell you do" Trinity shot back as she stopped chasing the butterfly and stood with her hands on her hips.
"Ugly you are" Jasmine said standing up and leveling her eyes at Trinity.
"Die you will" Trinity said as she made for her friend, but she stopped inches from her. "Hungry I am food I must eat"
"OK" Jasmine said as they linked arms and skipped towards the kitchen to find much needed grub.
"Get it out!"
"Trying I am, but-" (grunt) "-stuck it is."
"What do you mean it's stuck!"
"I mean, unable to remove"
"Well try"
"What have I been doing?"
Glorfindel was walking past the stables when he had overheard some muttering inside and now he was investigating the strange noises.
"You put it in there, you get it out"
"Stop me you should have"
"I tried, remember?"
"No, I remember 'You take it' and 'Go on' remember that I do!"
Glorfindel walked in to find the girls standing at the back of the stables standing around a large pile of manure looking at something that was embedded deeply within it.
"What are you two up to?" he asked watching the girls spin around and plaster their faces with big fake smiles.
"Nothing" Trinity said as Jasmine nodded quickly.
"We were…ah…just…watching the…ummm" Jasmine said struggling with coming up with a story.
"Turkeys" Trinity said as Jasmine looked up and smiled again.
"Yes the turkeys, they were coming through here and had something…"
"Elladan or Elrohir's underpants" Trinity said again as Jasmine shot her a sideways glance.
"Yes, we don't know which ones because we couldn't get a close enough look at them, not that we know what their underpants look like anyway, the turkeys were running quite fast because they were being chased by…"
"Badgers with cheese wheels" Trinity piped with a smile like nothing was wrong.
"Stop helping" Jasmine said out the side of her mouth. "Yes well, they went quite fast and somehow their underpants ended up in the manure"
"Pushed with a stick deep down into it they did"
"Just stop!" Jasmine pleaded.
"Really?" Glorfindel asked raising a perfect eyebrow "Turkeys and badgers did that" he said indicating to the pile of manure covered in underpants.
"Yeah and they even set their boots in the middle of it. I'm afraid they are quite hard to remove. We were trying our best to clean it up." Jasmine said looking around for an escape route.
"Is that so, how are your going to explain this to them?" Glorfindel asked indicating to the doorway where the twins were entering, luckily they hadn't seen them yet.
"Hoping you'd help we were" Trinity said discreetly grabbing Jasmine's attention and pointing to the side door.
"Why are you talking like that?" he asked as Jasmine saw the twins getting closer, luckily they were distracted by an excited horse and had stopped moving in their general direction.
"Look, a badger!" Jasmine said pointing to a small black shape that turned out to be a saddle upon closer inspection.
"No this is an ancient saddle…that…where did they go?" Glorfindel said as he turned to find the girls gone and the twins approaching him with smiles plastered on their faces, he quickly grabbed what underpants he could and tried to hide them before the twins saw too much but it was too late.
"Glorfindel!" Elladan exclaimed as he approached the fidgeting elf lord. "What is wrong?"
"Are they our undergarments?" Elrohir asked pointing to the underpants in Glorfindel's hands.
"Umm it would seem so wouldn't it" Glorfindel said nervously.
"And why don you have them?" Elladan asked as Elrohir looked around him.
"And why is the manure pile covered in them and our boots?" he asked raising an unimpressed eyebrow at the blushing elven lord.
"I…err…it wasn't me!" Glorfindel protested weakly as the twins looked very unamused.
"I doesn't seem that way!" Elladan said as they both crossed their arms at the same time in a freaky-twin-like way.
"Glorfindel this is very unlike you. Just…get this to Celboril and we'll pretend this never happened" Elrohir said as he and Elladan turned and walked out of the stables leaving a confused and astounded Glorfindel behind.
"Well…I…ohh I am going to throttle those girls" Glorfindel said as he threw the undergarments on the ground and went to fetch Celboril. On his was to the kitchens he passed the sniggering girls in the hallway.
"I will deal with you later" he said giving them an evil glare.
"You can't prove anything" Jasmine said with a triumphant smile.
"Right she is; know it you do" Trinity smiled as the flustered elf lord.
"But she caught me on the counter" Jasmine sang.
"It wasn't me" Trinity said in a deep voice echoing Jasmine as she sang.
"Saw me on the sofa"
"It wasn't me"
"I even had her in the shower"
"It wasn't me"
"She even caught me on camera"
"It wasn't me"
"Why…I…Grrr" he said as he threw his arms into the air and marched off.
"Got him we did, off the hook we are" Trinity said with a bright smile.
"Shall we cause more mischief?" Jasmine asked as Trinity nodded and they went of in search of something else to do before they left tomorrow morning.
"If one can only experience life through death, then does one only live to die?" Jasmine asked sincerely following a random elf.
"I don't know" he said before disappearing around a corner.
"Rude" Trinity yelled after him as they sought out another elf.
"If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?" Jasmine asked again to another random elf.
"Umm, I do not know" She said as she too avoided the girls.
"Scaring them we are, fun this is" Trinity said as she spied Legolas and Aragorn standing by the fountain having a deep and meaningful conversation. "Ask them we shall!" she said grabbing Jasmine by the arm and dragging her over.
"Fluffy Bubble Sniffer" Trinity said saluting Aragorn, who looked startled at the appearance of the two girls.
"Chim-Chim Gizzard Sprinkles" Jasmine said bowing to Legolas who looked utterly confused by them.
"What?" he asked as the girls looked at each other and laughed.
"Know his name he doesn't" Trinity laughed confusing them even more by the way she was speaking.
"What?" Aragorn asked.
"What?" Trinity said tilting her head to the side.
"What?" Legolas asked.
"What?" Jasmine asked, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.
"What?"
"What?"
"What?"
"What?"
"What?"
"What?"
"What?"
"What?"
"What?"
"What?"
"STOP!" Aragorn hollered making Trinity jump but as she did so she slipped on a slimy stone (they are near the fountain remember) and she fell flat on her arse. Jasmine started laughing hysterically while Trinity inspected her butt.
"Ow" she said as she wiped a bit of slime of her leg.
"Are you alright?" Aragorn asked looking concerned. He shot Jasmine and Legolas a stern look as they were both sniggering.
"Fine I am" She said with a smile as Aragorn helped her up. "Cheesy mango" she said to the other two.
"What?"
"What?"
"What?"
"What?"
"What?"
"Don't start this again" Aragorn said in a warning tone.
"Start what?" Jasmine asked innocently as Aragorn narrowed his eyes at her.
"You know what" He said getting rather tired of this conversation. I cannot believe they are travelling with us, I think I may go insane. He thought.
"Children" Legolas muttered but he was heard by Trinity.
"Heard that I did" She snapped light heartedly.
"Oh yeah and what are you going to do about it?" Legolas asked smugly.
"Kick your arse I will" Trinity said narrowing her eyes at Legolas.
"I'd like to see you try" He shot back.
"Beat an elf before I have" she stated.
"You were winner by default. Had Filda shown up…"He said trailing off as she noticed her furious eyes.
"Aliens you are" Trinity said tossing her head in the air and raising her nose before stalking off.
"Aliens? Us? Is this one of your Earth jokes?" Legolas asked as she walked off.
"Ohh you're in her bad books" Jasmine taunted as she started off to catch up to Trinity.
"What did we do?" Legolas asked utterly confused.
"Nothing much, you're just breathing" Jasmine said over her shoulder as she started to jog after Trinity who had spied a hobbit and she was now stalking the small being, but wasn't overly successful as she managed to trip over a tree root and her own feet numerous times. She almost fell head first into a pile of animal poo but Jasmine managed to grab her before she hit it.
"What's wrong with you? Are you drunk or what?" Jasmine asked as she helped Trinity to her feet.
"No" she chirped as she looked around for the hobbit.
"Well try and be a bit more graceful or at least coordinated" Jasmine said turning her in the right direction which just happened to be face to face with a hobbit.
"Why are you following me?" Pippin asked.
"We were not following you, we just happened to be going in the same direction" Trinity defended.
"What, no more yoda speak?" Jasmine asked with a smile.
"Mate… it's bloody hard to do. Thinking before you speak and all, I'd rather act like a lava lamp" Trinity laughed as she tried in vain to act like a lava lamp.
"Very well" Pippin said watching as Trinity wiggled up and down. "So why were you following me?"
"Hmm" Jasmine thought for a second "We wanted to tell you a story"
"You did?" He asked curiously.
"Why yes, a friend back home told me this story. I do believe that it is true" Jasmine said putting her hand to her chin in an attempt to look thoughtful.
"Oh and what is it?" He asked, he started to smile as Jasmine looked up and started to stutter.
"Well…I…err…once…umm"
"Once upon a time there was a fish, and he like bananas, sadly he couldn't eat bananas because they were yellow which obviously meant that he couldn't eat them. So he went on a search for some other bananas that weren't yellow. Someone told him that there where green bananas, so he went searching for them. Sadly they were actually cucumbers and he couldn't eat them because the moon liked to sing opera. I didn't really understand this when I heard this story but according to the fish when a moon likes opera then it is against the law for fish to eat cucumbers which then made perfect sense to me, how could it not. So the fish was sad, he really wanted a banana. Then he had a brilliant idea, if he painted a yellow banana a different colour he could eat it. Overjoyed at that idea he went out and painted a banana purple, which was the obvious choice of a colour because otherwise apricots would turn somersaults. He painted the banana and happily ate it. Sadly the banana turned him into a pink starfish and he was doomed to eat cheese for the rest of his days. Now if you see a purple banana you JUST STAY AWAY!" Trinity yelled, pointing at the frightened hobbit.
"Yeah" Jasmine said slowly as she watched the hobbit look around startled by her outburst.
"Purple bananas?" He asked tentatively.
"YES, you stay away from them Doofus Bubblebutt or I shall come looking for you and doom you to dancing like a chipmunk!" Trinity growled in all seriousness watching the poor hobbit run away before falling down in hysterical snorting laughter, Jasmine by her side.
Trinity skipped through the halls heading towards Jasmine's room. They had just eaten their body weight in food and were now full of energy again. She reached her door and knocked briefly before entering but Jasmine was not inside. She looked around and scratched her head wondering where she might have gone. She turned and continued down the hallway only to bump into Raniean.
"Why hello Mr Biggs" Trinity said linking his arm through hers and pulling him down the hallway with him.
"Mr Biggs?" He asked following, involuntarily, down the hall.
"Why yes Mr Biggs, don't you know your name? That's a shame, say have you seen Jasmine?" She said slowing to a walk.
"No, I will help you look though, I was just on my way to find Trelan and Legolas" he said as they exited the palace.
"Now why would you want to find him?" she asked looking around for any signs of those missing.
"Who?" he asked doing the same.
"Why Lord boggle-butt of course, he is no fun. You know what I think that they may be…ahem…'enjoying each others company' if you know what I mean?" she said with a saucy wink.
"I think you may be right" he said with a laugh.
"Ah so you know all about it too then?" she said as she looked through some bushes to see if they were on the other side.
"Yes, I happened to catch them together one day" He said as a small tinge of red crept into his features. Trinity ran up to him and felt his forehead.
"You poor thing, you didn't see anything…frightening, for your eyes anyway, did you?" she said causing him Raniean to laugh.
"Nay, they were just kissing, though if it were anything more I'm not sure how I would react."
"Hmm you're lucky, I walked past Jasmine's room and heard them being evil" Trinity said with an evil grin. "C'mon we gotta find them. We were supposed to be packing"
"Packing already?" he asked as they walked down a small path that lead to the small no longer secret garden.
"We have lots of…things to pack" she whispered with a secretive grin as they crept up to a bush and peered through it. They spotted Jasmine and Trelan sitting on a bench, Jasmine with her eyes closed and Trelan singing softly to her. It took all of Trinity's strength not to laugh; she took Raniean's hand and pulled him back a safe distance.
"What do we do know?" he asked as Trinity thought of a perfect way to interrupt them.
"I feel…pyromaniacy" She said after a few minutes of silence.
"Pyromaniacy?" Raniean asked genuinely confused.
"Never mind, come! I need to find a cape" Trinity said as she pulled Raniean towards the palace.
"That was beautiful" Jasmine whispered as Trelan finished singing. "Will you be joining the fellowship, god knows everyone else is!"
"No, my companions and I shall be returning to Mirkwood to inform Lord Thranduil of Prince Legolas's decision" He said with a sigh as he ran his hand through her hair. Suddenly behind them a great disturbance erupted and exploding from a bush came two individuals dressed rather strangely. They wore red sheets about their shoulders (as capes) and had a head band with a cardboard star on it around their forehead, they also adorned some glasses. The taller one looked quite embarrassed and confused while the other looked confident and proud.
"What the…?" Jasmine started but was stopped as the confident raised their hand.
"STOP, I AM ROOTWOMAN AND THIS IS ROOTMAN, we heard you were in dire need of a…" She nudged Rootman and he gave a sigh "ROOT…you Mary-Sue in the making friend of mine and her adorable yet dashing companion" they said together, just liked they rehearsed, of course Trinity added the ending on herself.
"Trinity, Raniean?" Jasmine said looking past the glasses.
"NO, I am Rootwoman and this is Rootman!" She said looking the couple over.
"Yes what she says is true, Trinity and Raniean are no more" He said with his hands on his hips, he was starting to get into this character.
"Oh my god, you've corrupted him, haven't you?" Jasmine said shocked at what she was seeing.
"Oh no, he just realised who he really was" Trinity/Rootwoman said with a winning smile.
"Right" Jasmine said nudging Trelan ever so slightly. "We're just…going…to…GO!" Jasmine said as both she and Trelan rushed off.
"Oh no you don't!" Raniean shouted as he took chase. Trinity stood their and watched him leave, wiping an imaginary tear away.
"I'm so proud of him" She said watching as he came bursting back through and grabbed her arm.
"Are you coming?" He asked as he dragged her through the bush track.
"Looks like it" She said as they spotted Trelan and Jasmine disappear over a hill. "Hmm we're going to need some help" she said just before giving off a long loud whistle (that I'm actually learning to do, HUZZAH). Hoof beats sounded behind them and they turned to find a large palomino mare and Indy (a black and brown pinto the one from Chapt 11) gallop up to them. They too wore capes and headbands.
"Ahh my faithful companion, I need you again it would seem" Trinity said as she patted Indy's muzzle.
"Let us fly" Raniean said as he leaped gracefully up onto the mare's back. Trinity tried to do that too but she managed to jump clear over Indy and land on her arse instead.
"Ow, I'm doing that a lot " She said and tried it again, this time landing across the horse (feet and legs one side, head and arms on the other) "Its ok, I got it, I got it" She said pulling herself into a sitting position. Raniean sighed and held back laughter as they moved off. They followed the same route the others did and only managed to find a group of confused guards.
"Have you seen red haired human and a short blond elf go through here have you?" Trinity asked as they murmured among themselves. Finally an elf stepped forward and it just happened to be Mirathyl. "Yo Spifeman what's happening?" Trinity said.
"No much, why are you dressed…no never mind, yes they did pass us. They were in quiet a hurry too, they were heading back to the palace" Mirathyl said with a smile.
"Coolies, Thanks Much Oh and watch out for the PINK WARTHOGS" Trinity chirped as she and Raniean turned their horses and headed back to the palace.
"Strange girl" Mirathyl said heading back to his group.
Raniean and Trinity headed back at a full gallop and managed to arrive at the same time as Trelan and Jasmine. They watched each other for a moment before Trelan and Jasmine sprinted for the doors of the palace, they were fast but not fast enough as Raniean and Trinity managed to cut them off. They dismounted and walked slowly over to the couple, who looked frightened.
"MMWWAAHAHAHAHA" Trinity laughed as she watched them back up.
"Are you frightened?" Raniean asked tilting his head to the side "You should be"
"Ah he could be so evil" Trinity said in awe "I am so proud" wiping a fake tear away.
"What do you want?" Trelan asked starting to get fed up with this little hootenanny. (This is probably the wrong word but I don't care because I really wanted to use it…hehehe hootenanny).
"Just to give you a little friendly advice" Trinity said with an evil smile.
"Yes…advice" Raniean echoed.
"Never cross the road when you're wearing no clothes." Trinity said watching their faces grow even more confused.
"When you think it's safe to sing…" Raniean started but lost his train of thought at the look on his friend's face.
"Beware of the Pink Monkeys!" Trinity finished as she watched Raniean laugh helplessly. "That's not helping"
"Sorry…but…too…funny" He laughed. Trinity couldn't contain herself as she watched the laughing elf and she too fell into helpless laughter.
"You…May… /snort/ …go…now… /Snort/ …I just…snorted… /snort/ …look…again" Trinity laughed as she rolled around on the ground snorting to her hearts content. Jasmine just shook her head and stepped over her, following Trelan up the stairs. After a few more minutes of laughing, Trinity and Raniean sat up and looked around.
"That was good" Trinity said wiping the tears from her eyes.
"Yes I haven't laughed like that for a while…I haven't acted like that for centuries either" Raniean laughed. They sat in silence for a few moments before Trinity turned to him and asked.
"Wanna scare an elf lord?"
"Sounds like a plan" He said as they headed into the palace.
Who knew elves could be immature too?
Trinity sat in her room fuming. Raniean had gotten off scotch free and she got blamed, it wasn't her fault that the bird smashed some 1,000,000 year old vase. Ok so she did bring the bird into Elrond's room to frighten him, but Raniean had put it in the vase, not her. It wasn't fair, oh well at least she got to finish packing and annoy Elrond. Apparently Glorfindel had also told Elrond about the underpants incident and she and Glorfindel had gotten into a squabble about it, seriously, elves could be so childish at times.
/BANG/
"What the…?" Trinity said as she stepped tentatively towards the door.
/BANG/
It sounded again. Trinity flung the door open to find Jasmine standing on the other side, her foot mid-kick.
"What are you doing?" Trinity asked "There are doorknobs for a reason"
"Hands turn doorknobs, legs break down doors!" Jasmine said walking past into Trinity's room.
"What's wrong with your hands?" Trinity said closing the door and walking back over to the bed.
"Nothing" Jasmine said as she held up her small backpack. "Look-ee, I finished packing"
"That's nice, I finished an hour ago." Trinity said.
"Then why are you in here?" Jasmine asked chucking her bag next to Trinity's.
"Lord Bingo banished me in here because I broke a vase…Raniean really did it" Trinity said.
"Oh…do you wanna teach the elves how to dance?" Jasmine asked as Trinity's face lit up.
"Yes, Yes I do" She smiled as she followed Jasmine out the door and towards the Hall of Fire where, conveniently, many of the elves/main characters where, isn't that convenient. I think all new characters should be given a GPRS device that tells you where each character is and when.
"GOOD PEOPLE OF MIDDLE EARTH" Jasmine announced causing all heads to turn towards the door where she and Trinity were.
"We have come to teach you a national dance from our homeland!" Trinity announced, avoiding Elrond's glare. "Now we want you all standing up…all of you!" she threatened. Once everyone was standing the girls smiled warmly at them.
"OK First you hold your hands like this." Jasmine said holding her hands out in front of her, bent at the elbow and her hands forming beaks.
"Next you open and close them four times" Trinity said showing them and giggling insanely inside as she watched everyone copy her. I have complete power. She thought evilly.
"Now, change your arms again and hold them like this" Jasmine said as she put her hands under her armpits.
"Now flap them four or five times" Trinity demonstrated this too.
"Now shake your bottom four times" Jasmine said turning around and showing them so.
"I don't see bottom wiggling!" Trinity said pointing at some reluctant elves.
"And then finally clap your hands four times!" Jasmine said as she clapped her hands.
"Now you put all of it together like this" Trinity said as they did the whole routine.
"Now you try" Jasmine said as she watched elves, a dwarf, hobbits and humans all dance.
"And don't forget to do it to this song…daaaa, na na na na na, na, na na na na na na, DA, DA, DA, DA, na, na, na, na" Trinity said sounding out the song, that if your haven't realise by now is the chicken dance. They watched the whole congregation dance and hum, trying in vain to not laugh and failing miserably of course. The whole congregation looked up at the two laughing girls with stern looks.
"I'm sorry, shall we teach you another?" Trinity asked as Lord Elrond stepped forward.
"I think that will be quite enough" He said as a few elves nodded.
"Oh no, my lord, please allow us to teach you one final dance?" Jasmine said, she always had always been better at negotiations.
"I…err…very well, but this will not have us looking like chickens, will it?" He asked tentatively.
"Of course not" Trinity said with a smile that would frighten Sauron.
"We call this the Macarena" Jasmine said sharing a secret smile.
Now I'm not going to write how the Macca goes because it would be too long and if you don't know how THAT goes…where the hell have ya been?
The morning sun rose over the mountains, casting warm rays of light onto the stirring city of Rivendell. One room that was not stirring was the one which held the human Jasmine, though it was not to stay quite for long. Loud thumping sounded down the hallway, stopping outside of the door. Muffled voices were heard.
"Was it necessary for you to jump all the way down here and wake the whole of Middle Earth?"
"What? Like you've never farted? Be-gone elf of a thousand faces"
"What?"
"You know what I mean; I must awake my dearly departed friend"
"She's not dead though"
"Ahh that's what she WANTS you to think" The grumbling of the other faded away as the door opened.
"C'mon, Hefferlump, Its 5:30 rise and shine!" Trinity said jumping up onto the bed as the lump under the blankets tried in vain to sleep, with a sigh she looked up at her bouncing friend.
"5:30? You rise. You shine." Jasmine said as she tried to pull the blanket over her head.
"Nuh uh c'mon, time to awake!" Trinity said grabbing the blanket, trying to tear the blanket from her friend's fingers, but Jasmine wasn't going to give it up willingly. After a few moments of a tugging war, Jasmine let go of the blanket just as Trinity was pulling it as hard as she could. Jasmine watched Trinity's face morph into disbelief as she headed to the floor with a loud bang. The voice form earlier, Elladan, came running in but upon seeing Trinity lying laughing/dazed on the ground and Jasmine almost pissing herself in her bed, he merely shook his head and left the room.
"I don't think they like us anymore" Trinity said after she regained her composure.
"I think your right!" Jasmine agreed. "Alright, I'll be out in a second just gotta get dressed"
"Right-o" Trinity said as she bounded out the door, closing it as she went.
As Jasmine changed Trinity tried to look like a gargoyle by the door. She had her mouth open and was crouching on her haunches with one arm out straight and the other up like a claw. Various elves gave her a strange look as they pasted by.
"What are you doing?" Jasmine asked looking at her from the doorway.
"No much Mary-sue, lets go!" Trinity said dragging Jasmine down the hallway.
"Why do you keep calling me Mary-sue?" She asked as she tripped Trinity over.
"Why did you trip me?" She asked latching onto Jasmine's leg and pulling herself up of the ground.
"I asked you first" Jasmine said as they continued towards the front door.
"Fine" Trinity sighed as she looked at her friend sidewards. "Because that performance in the garden would be worthy of the Mary-sue title…"That was beautiful"" She mocked.
"You're just jealous" Jasmine said as the walked down the last few steps and headed towards the gathering.
"Of what? I've never been jealous of you!" Trinity scoffed.
"You're jealous of me being with Trelan, and you know it!" Jasmine snapped as Trinity pulled her back to where she had stopped dead.
"Thems a fighten words" She drawled almost growled, Jasmine just raised her eyebrows in an unamused way.
"Good" was all she said. Trinity got a certain sparkle in her eye.
"What's the bet?" she said as Jasmine smiled slyly and looked around, her eyes caught the sight of her prey. An evil smile spread across her lips as she uttered one word.
"Legolas" Trinity's jaw dropped.
"No" but Jasmine just smiled wider and nodded. "That's evil, truly evil. Why not Elladan or Elrohir or Pippin even? I'd even try Gandalf!" But Jasmine just shook her head and repeated.
"Legolas" Trinity narrowed her eyes.
"Fine but we do it on my time, my terms and my way"
"Alright" Now it was Trinity's turn to smile evilly as she named her terms.
"Fine" Jasmine growled as they stalked over. The group turned slightly and acknowledged that they were there before turning back to their hushed conversations. The girls started talking to the hobbits but that conversation started to dwindle as the rest of the fellowship joined up with them, they were now standing together facing a large collection of elves waiting for Lord Elrond to appear. He finally made an appearance five minutes later.
"Warning, Warning randomness approaching" Trinity said sounding remarkably like the robot out of 'Lost in space' as Lord Elrond approached the crowd.
"Would you just be normal for a moment" Legolas said as a vein in his forehead started to bulge.
"I don't like your tone Lord coo-coo face; shall I get Esmeralda and fetch the piggies?" Trinity offered as Legolas shook his head.
"Just stay quite for a few moments while the leaving ceremony is on…PLEASE" He said and then added in a hushed tone "Or else you will find this journey most unpleasant"
"What I find unpleasant is your breath…Shh I'm trying to listen" Trinity said as Lord Elrond started to talk. Legolas's face flushed, most probably he was restraining the urge to throttle the girl, but we will never know.
"Nice start" Jasmine hissed in her ear.
"My terms" Trinity hissed back.
"The Ringbearer is setting out on the Quest of Mount Doom. On you who travel with him, no oath nor bond is laid to go further than you will." Lord Elrond said looking extremely regal in his dark purple robes. Arwen and Aragorn shared a soft smile and Legolas put his hand on his heart and bowed his head in the traditional leaving pose. It would seem the only ones who noticed the dark furry creature crawling along Elrond's robe were Trinity and Jasmine, who were giggling insanely but managing to keep control enough to look slightly normal. Elrond continued. "Farewell. Hold to your purpose. May the blessings of Elves and Men and all Free Folk go with you." He signaled to the entrance with his long slender arm as the furry creature climbed further and further up towards his neck.
"The Fellowship awaits the Ring-bearer." Gandalf said as Frodo looked up scared of what was about to happen. He walked slowly towards the gateway, as he passed Jasmine and Trinity he heard them whisper loud enough for him to hear.
"Go the Fro!" he smiled softly at them as he approached the gates. He took some tentative steps outside the gate and looked left and right.
"Mordor, Gandalf, is it left or right?" he asked as Gandalf smiled softly at him and said in hushed whisper.
"Left" he said as he placed his hand reassuringly on Frodo's left shoulder. The group followed him out. First Gandalf then Gimli, Boromir, Pippin, Merry, Trinity, Jasmine, Legolas, Elladan and Elrohir and Sam who was leading Bill the pony and then finally Aragorn, who paused at the entrance and exchanged a last longing look with Arwen. Finally, he bowed his head and followed the rest of the Fellowship. As they travelled down the path, they heard the uunmistakable sound of a Elf lord hollering in the distance and sure enough the sounds of insane laughing could be heard in all the corners or Rivendell as the fellowship departed the elvan haven of Imladris.
THE JOURNEY HAS STARTED!
"Yay it's about time I hear you say…I agree! I was really hanging out to start the journey…so many ideas! I really have been bitten by gigantic orange plot bunnies; I have about three stories on the back burner at the moment! YAY but I feel really bad because I should be writing ANF, but I had to start this journey otherwise I would probably not have any arms left due to the rabid plot bunnies…LEAVE ME ALONE!"
"You know I'm starting to with I never gave them the wine… they have been acting very strange…except Legolas who is hounding me to study…5 DOWN 4 TO GO Yay almost finished! YAY OLYMPICS HAVE STARTED, they put the opening ceremony on at 7:30 am 7:30 in the damn morning! I'm sleeping then! But its ok…they are replaying it at 11, thank god."
Footsteps and muffled voices were heard. "Oh no" I quickly hide the story and pretend to study just as Legolas barges in followed by a drunk Jack.
"Hessh coming" Jack slurred.
"I can see that Jack" I said through gritted teeth.
"Are you studying?" Legolas asked with his hands on his hips.
"Yes"
"Really? Because I can tell when you're lying!"
"No you can't"
"Yes I can…you start to smile and then bite the inside of your cheek to try and stop yourself from smiling" Legolas said with a smile pointing to his cheek.
"Damn…do I?"
"You're doing it right now" he said pointing.
"No I'm not" stops biting my cheek. Elladan and Elrohir stumble into the room.
"Hesss commink" Elladan said tripping over Jack who was lying on the ground looking at the heater.
"Thanks guys but I really gotta memorise this Earth and Environmental stuff and then have to learn off a Chemistry, Physics and Earth prac"
"Alright…but no more stories!" they leave.
"I won't…hehehe"
"I heard that laugh!" Legolas's voice echoed up the stairs.
"Damn"
