I actually like peas. Is that odd, considering?

CHAPTER TWELVE

"Teacher!" I call, raising my hand. "I've learned my lesson! Can I go home now?"

"No."

"You're mean!"

"Too bad."

"You can't hold me here against my will! I know my rights! Attica! Attica!"

My teacher sighs. "Will you quiet down?" she asks. "You're giving me a headache."

"Send me home. Problem solved."

"Trust me, Izumi: You do not want to get suspended. It's not as great as it sounds."

"Try me."


"I'm home!" I call, running into the house.

"Come here! Now!" Mr. Izumi calls from his office.

I sigh. "Yeeeeees?" I ask, dragging my feet.

"I imagine you can guess why I'm angry."

"'Cause I got suspended?"

"Exactly," Mr. Izumi says. "If you'd just kept quiet and done what you were told, you would have been done with detention in a couple more days. Why did you have to go and make matters worse?"

"Because self-destruction is my forte."

"Well, maybe you should work on that."

"Yeah, you're probably right."

"No TV or video games until you're off suspension."

"Okay. Can I go play now?"

"Sure."


TENMA SUZAKU: wat? no wur susspended?

chessmaster: That's what I just said, isn't it? It's not that big a deal, you know.

TENMA SUZAKU: it IS a big deal! lots of highschools wont axcept kids with too many suspension!

chessmaster: And? I have no intention of still being here when I get to high school. Besides, SHOUTA IZUMI was the one who got suspended, and he doesn't exist.

TENMA SUZAKU: still! u need to take this more seriusly!

chessmaster: Whatever. How's Nunnally?

TENMA SUZAKU: she hasnt been suspended recently. and she mad that u were

chessmaster: Ouch. Really?

TENMA SUZAKU: ya! now dont do it again!

chessmaster: Fine, I won't. How is Nunnally really?

TENMA SUZAKU: shes fine. she wants to no if ur coming back soon

chessmaster: You know I don't know the answer to that.

TENMA SUZAKU: ya, but id stil liek to have sumthing to tell her

chessmaster: Tell her I'll try my best.

TENMA SUZAKU: k


"Hey. Bed time," Mr. Izumi says, poking his head into the office.

I glance at the clock on the computer, frowning. "It's only eight thirty."

"And you're in trouble. Now go to bed."

"Awww..."

"Don't 'awww' me. Get to bed."

"Jerk."

"Delinquent."


"I'm bored."

"You're in trouble. You're supposed to be bored."

"Why can't I be in trouble somewhere else?"

"Because I want to be able to keep an eye on you."

"You're watching the computer."

"My web cam is on and pointing at you."

"That's a gross breach of privacy!"

"It's not recording."

"Don't complicate this argument with your facts!"

"Huh?"

"I'm bored."

"Ah."


"Are you hungry?"

I gasp, startled awake, and wipe drool off my chin. "Huh?" I ask. "Uh... Yeah."

"All right. Go get dressed and I'll take you out."

"Yes, sir!"


"I just want you to know," Mr. Izumi says while we're waiting for our food, "that it's really difficult to work with you sleeping right behind me."

"You know what would fix that? Not making me stay in the room with you all day."

"Hmmm. That does sound like a good idea."

"Doesn't it?"

"Maybe I could make you spend the day with the neighbor," Mr. Izumi muses. "She's runs a daycare out of her apartment on weekdays, and I'm sure she'd love some extra slave labor. Plus, the kids might knock you down a few pegs, which would be good for you."

I glare at him for a moment, then look away, considering it. "I guess it sounds more entertaining that watching you work," I say.

"Okay, then. I'll talk to her when we get home."

"Yippee."


"Why... didn't anyone tell me... there would be peas?" I choke, leaning over the toilet.

"Wow, you really can't stomach them, can you? You didn't even eat anything."

"Please allow me the courtesy of being sick in peace."

"Yeah, okay."


After I finish throwing up, we drive home, taking several rest stops so I can throw up some more. "Damn you, peas!" I wail after the third or fourth time.

"The peas can't hear you. They're dead."

"Serves them right! Now pull over, I gotta puke again!"


"Maybe asking would be a good idea next time," Kagami-san says, frowning. Konata-neechan brought her friends home from school with her today, which just makes my day so much better.

"I'll keep that in mind," Mr. Izumi says dryly, replacing the no-longer-damp towel on my forehead.

"Uhhhhgh," I moan. Translation: "Somebody bring me a cup of water."

"Here you go, Shou-chan," Yutaka-neechan- who is apparently a mind-reader- says, handing me a cup. "How are you feeling?" she asks as I take a sip.

"Ungh." Translation: "I'd rather have chicken pox every day for the rest of my life than endure one more second of this torture."

"Hey, c'mon," Mr. Izumi says, ushering the girls out. "Give him some air."

"Ugh," I say, trying to prop myself up on my arm, holding my hand over my mouth. Mr. Izumi quickly snatches me up and bears me away to the restroom before I can hurl all over the rug again. "Nngh." Translation: "Somebody kill me. Please."


Everyone who reads this far receives a DVD box set of Air Master.