THE SNEAKEASY
PART 12
The actualy Sneakeasy hadn't moved, however. Only the entrance had been moved.
James and Sirius sat in the VIP room with their backs against the huge cauldron and their noses in their man-pleasing bowls, when the alarm rang. They did not register this immediately.
"Did you hear something?" James asked.
"I hear a lot of things," Sirius replied.
Cas came in from the Speakeasy.
"It's the alarm! Someone's coming!"
"Well you're no mother of mine!" Sirius retorted.
So Cas summoned a huge bucket of ice cold water and poured a good amount over him, James and also Fletcher, who was stirring in the cauldron.
"Did you hear what I just said?" Cas asked.
"The alarm's gone off?" Fletcher asked and dropped the ladle. Then he attempted to lift the entire cauldron from the stove manually.
"What are you behaving like a muggle for?" James asked him.
"My magic is really impaired for some reason!"
James tried his wand, and so did Sirius and Cas, but they all had impaired magic for some reason. They felt as helpless as a turtle-kitten on its back in a tree.
"On three, then!" said James, trying to get a good grip of the cauldron.
The chaps could just barely lift it using their combined effort.
"These are feminist times, Cas!" said Sirius. "So don't just stand there! Make yourself useful!"
"You're wasting time! Just leave it!" Cas replied.
"Never!"
"Ok bye then! I love you!" said Cas and ran off.
Women, what a bunch of traitors!
"Come on we can do this!" said James.
There was an emergency exit in the form of an ogre's face. A lick on the nose took them to the Ground Floor. James and Sirius tried to move towards the stairs, but Fletcher held them back.
"Uhm where are you chaps going?" he asked.
"Our dorm, 'course!" James explained to him.
"But it's mine, too!"
This resulted in a violent pulling contest that resulted in a lot of spillage.
"Also, my dorm is closer," Fletcher argued.
"Your dorm is also the most unsafe!"
"My dorm is unsafe? You're idiots, if you want to carry the Sleek all the way up there!"
Yeah he had a point there. But he just wanted the Sleek to himself, the greedy bastard!
"This is all a waste of time," said Sirius. "Someone's coming. Through here."
A tapestry depicting a wedding scene between Helga Hufflepuff's two badgers took them to the seventh floor in the easternmost wing. From where they stood, they could see the bottom steps of the winding stairs leading to the Gryffindor tower.
"Hey! Nobody was coming!" said Fletcher.
"Somebody was coming! At some point!" said Sirius.
"You lied."
"Sssh! Someone's coming!"
"Up this way, then!" said James. "Mind the Death Step!"
The had to walk the last bit of the main stairs, because the stairs were asleep at this hour. The top step was nicknamed the Death Step, due to having trapped and swallowed many. Fletcher did not put up a fuss anymore. He followed the other chaps, and stepped over the topmost step very carefully.
"Phew!" he said, standing firmly on the top step.
"Fletcher, no!"
But alas, too late! The top step broke and his foot sank into the debris, refusing to let go. The chaps almost dropped the cauldron when Fletcher lost his grip around it.
"Go on without me!" Fletcher moaned, as he tried not to resist the evil Death Step.
"We're trying!"
"It's what I would have wanted if I had!"
Despite being marginally lighter, the cauldron was just too clumpsy and awkward to carry fast enough, and somebody really was coming now.
"Damn why don't these things could with handles?" Sirius asked.
"Wait I have an idea!" said James and whistled.
"Hey!"
"What, it's not like anybody's coming at this very moment!"
"Who knows? I've been so paranoid ever since I couldn't find my Silence Slippers."
"And I my Soundless Socks."
"You have Soundless Socks? How could you?"
"Well you have Silence Slippers? How could you?"
But now was not the time to pull down eachother's pants and look for the Mark of the Traitor, for someone came. Or rather, something came: James's freshly waxed Ziggy Stardust. Nighttime only seemed to enhance it's shine and beauty.
"If it could balance on it," said James.
"Well, it was close to a good idea. Hm, I might be able to get another one."
"But you'd have to whistle, and someone's coming!"
"I know how you could get it to stick," said Fletcher. "But you will hate me for it."
"How?"
Fletcher reached inside his robes. His solution: a glass jar containing a gumball in what was unmistakably LSD solution.
"It was you! You got bubblegum banned!"
"Uhmm...No?"
"Yes it was!"
"Well, what is it to you?"
Now was not the time to fuss about the current state of Sirius's shoes. You never knew if somebody was coming.
The sight of bubblegum irritated them somewhat, since it was the weapon of traitors. But the recent revelation bugged them more. Besides, they really needed the bubblegum right now, as much as they hated to admit it, and would forever deny it.
Fletcher chewed it soft and drew it out in a long string which they could use to tie the cauldron around the Ziggy Stardust. Once they had done this, James gave the brush a spank and sent it away.
"God speed!" he said, saluting it.
Somebody came. It was Slughorn, and he asked them why they hadn't attended his Slug Party earlier. James and Sirius swore they'd be at the next one, just so he wouldn't get the idea of fussing at them for being out after midnight or standing in a puddle of hallucinogenic shampoo.
"Excellent! Good night!" he said and left.
"Good night."
"Good night," said Fletcher, his dirty head being the last bit of him on surface level now.
Entering their dorm at last a few minutes later, James and Sirius felt pretty good about themselves.
"Good evening," said Professor McGonagall.
They felt less good about themselves now.
"Good evening, Professor!" they replied.
"I've been told you've been holding some kind of secret drug den."
"What? Who told you that?" James asked.
"Several people."
"Well," said Sirius, tossing his duvet over the giant cauldron. "I guess you'll be needing proof."
Apparently she already had proof.
