Mad World

Chapter Eleven

Subtitled: When People Run in Circles

Quotation: According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about women is their eyes and women say the first thing they notice about men is they are a bunch of liars

Unknown


The sunlight streamed in the room and Sirius groaned. His head was pounding and his back hurt. His leg was asleep. His eyes flickered open and his heart rate skyrocketed as he saw a mass of brown curls covering his chest, snoring softly. Empty glasses and bottles littered the room.

"Happy New Year." The girl mumbled.

Sirius suddenly felt like he might be sick. "Ann?" he asked, his voice cracking slightly.

"Hmm?" Ann shifted as she slowly opened her eyes. "Oh my fucking god." She cried jumping up.

"You took the words right out of my mouth." Sirius said dryly, sitting up with considerable effort.

Ann looked down and saw she was wearing Sirius' boxers and her own bra. She covered her chest, and turned to him in horror, but quickly averted her eyes.

Sirius grabbed the nearest pillow and threw it over the family jewels. She put her hands in her hair and sat down in the arm chair. "Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god." She panted, a sound that Sirius found faintly reminiscent of the night before.

"Did we..?" Sirius asked delicately, looking around desperate for some clue.

Ann shook her head miserably. "I don't know. I can't remember."

"Hey Sirius do you want to eat yet – whoa!" James cried as he walked in, his hands flew to his eyes and he turned around. "Uh, sorry, I…uh…well there's food downstairs…when you're ready that is." If it was possible, James was even more embarrassed.

"Yeah, thanks, we'll be down in a moment." Sirius said.

"Right then." Said James, hightailing it to the door, and shutting it firmly behind himself.

The silence was deafening. Ann, shivered and began to look around for her clothes. Her jeans were draped over the couch, her shirt was at Sirius' feet, and much to her utter humiliation, her panties were on the table.

"Well I'm sure I would have remembered that." Sirius said, eyeing the purple lace panties.

Ann glared at him, her face burning with anger and embarrassment. "Apparently not." She said shortly and scooped them up, bunching them up in her hands. She started for the door and stopped.

"What?" he asked.

"Well I can't go out there, can I…and neither can you." She looked to him, spread out naked except for a single throw pillow, appalled.

"Plus, you're, well…" he pointed to his boxers which still hung loosely on her hips, the snitches having the nerve to fly about cheerfully at a moment such as this.

"Well turn around, then." She said, trying her best to sound dignified but sounding rather ridiculous as she stood there, barefoot in her bra, his boxers and her hair cascading wildly down her back. Sirius turned around dutifully, moving the pillow so that it covered his other side.

"It's not like it's something I've never seen before." He muttered under his breath.

She chucked a pillow at his head.

She shimmed out of his boxers and pulled on her panties and jeans as fast as she could. She tossed the boxers onto the couch. A few moments later they were both dressed and avoiding each other's eyes at all costs. They arrived at the door at the same time, bumping shoulders.

"I'm sorry." Said Sirius.

"After you." Said Ann.

"No, I insist."

"I insist."

"Well thank you."

"You're quite welcome."

Ann had never had a more awkward conversation in her entire life.

"Morning, guys." James said, grinning stupidly. "Did you stay up all night?"

"Yeah that was some pretty stiff competition we had." Said Peter.

"Do you think we should get some shag carpet in our room, Sirius?" asked Remus.

"I think the house-elves have done a bang up job on this breakfast." Said James.

"Which reminds me, James, how's your father?" Asked Peter, at which they all burst out laughing.

"Very funny." Ann said, sitting down huffily and immediately shooting back up as she realized she'd chosen the seat next to Sirius. This only made everyone laugh harder. Remus shot milk through his nose and James held his stomach. "I'm leaving." She announced loftily. "I'll see you all at school." And she swept from the room.

Sirius looked around sheepishly and poured himself a drink.

"So?" James asked, after a moment, leaning over his plate and dragging his sleeve in the butter.

"So what?" Sirius asked, chewing determinedly.

Peter threw up his hands. "So how was she?"

"I don't know." Sirius said truthfully and helped himself to some bacon.

James narrowed his eyes, confused. "But I thought you guys –"

Sirius shrugged. "I can't remember."

"Are you barmy man? What kind of bender did you to go on?" Remus asked, putting down his toast in bewilderment.

"Dunno, but I still feel a bit bladdered, to tell you the truth."

"So you're back to square one, then?" James asked.

"You and me both, mate." Sirius said suddenly, the early part of the evening coming back to him.

"What do you mean?" Peter asked.

"I mean, James had a chance to kiss Lily but walked out of the room like a little girl."

At this announcement, James looked simply furious. "I had my reasons," he said churlishly.

"Wait a second." Peter said, looking from Sirius to James in astonishment. "You mean to tell me that you," he pointed to James. "Had the chance to kiss a girl you've been in LOVE with since you realized sex wasn't gross and you said no. And you," he pointed to Sirius. "possibly may have shagged the girl you've been after for months but you don't even remember it?" He looked to Remus in amazement.

Remus shook his head. "Fine pair you lot make. Honestly we left you alone for one hour and you messed up years of work. You'll be lucky if either of them ever speak to you again."

"Actually I think I'll be luck if nine months from now I'm not a father." Sirius said, gloomily, the reality of the situation finally hitting him.

James dropped his knife with a clang. "You mean you didn't –"

"I told you I can't remember!"

"Wow, and I thought I was in trouble." James said.


The trouble with plans was that they, without fail, go horribly awry. In Ann's case, things hadn't just gone horribly awry, they had bombed in a way she could never, ever have predicted. The trouble was, she finally decided, that she had put too much stock in her own self control. She had been convinced that whatever Black threw at her, she could resist, even her own alcohol. The irony, of course, that it was her own boos that had been her undoing, was not lost on her. Fortunately she had a very supportive best friend who understood just how horrific the situation was, mostly.

Lily giggled with as little exuberance as she could manage. "I'm sorry, I know it's not funny it's just…well we've been trying to put one over on him for months and you end up naked,"

"—half naked!"

"—Right, half-naked in bed—"

"—On the couch!"

"Right, on the couch with him and forty empty vodka bottles. It is a little ridiculous."

"It's bleeding horrible, is what it is." Ann muttered.

Lily rubbed her back sympathetically. "Look, it's not so bad. He doesn't remember anything. You don't remember anything. Look, maybe nothing happened." Even as she said this, Lily knew she was probably wrong. After all, Sirius Black was hardy known for his self-restraint and as when Ann was drunk hedonistic urges always took precedence over higher goals. Still, it's what she would have wanted to hear, so she said it. Because that's what good friends do and Lily was a good friend.

Ann looked up at her hopefully. "Yeah maybe you're right."

Lily smiled. "See."

"Uh, but I have to see him tomorrow." She groaned pathetically.

"So take the upper hand. Prove you don't care." Said Lily, swiping her red hair out of her eyes, and stretching out on Ann's bed in their dorm room.

"Yes…but how?"

"Invite him to the concert. But casually not like you expect anything but in a 'I'm so above this all I can act like nothing happened' way, you know?"

Ann turned her and smiled, a little shocked. "Lils, you're quite good aren't you?"

Lily shrugged. "Are you kidding? I'm so good at this I managed to so repulse a boy who was once in love with me that he didn't even want to kiss me anymore!" she said it lightly, but it was clear she was painfully embarrassed.

Ann sucked in her lower lip, thoughtfully. "There's something else going on there…Look why don't you invite James too. That way it will look twice as casual to Sirius AND James won't know you even care --
"

"I don't care!"

"—of course you don't." Ann said automatically. "Plus it'll buy us time to figure out our next steps…Ace! Alright, c'mon we're going to go do it." She grabbed Lily's hand and had her half-way out the door before Lily could even say another word but then stopped dead in her tracks, almost knocking over Lily as she ran into Ann's back. "We'd better wait till we see them. It'll seem more spontaneous and casual."

Lily rolled her eyes.

James munched his muffin thoughtfully as he flicked his wand back and forth, back and forth, Snape shouting and kicking in the air above him. Out of the corner of his eye he saw a flash of red and his hand dropped, Snape crashing rather spectacularly behind him at the feet of a second year Ravenclaw who gave a great shriek. Apparently, she wasn't used to seventh year boys landing at her feet and getting grease all over her new shoes.

"'lo there, Lily." He said cautiously.

Lily smiled politely and Ann gave Sirius a uninterested wave. They each reached for a piece of fruit.

"Alright there, Ann?" Sirius asked, feeling painfully embarrassed and not really sure why. He slept with loads of girls before, but somehow this one made him want to get his hands on a time turner.

"Just fine Black." Ann said coolly and took a piece of toast. She turned to Lily. "So, did you hear that new Warlocks song on the wireless?"

"The Wacky Warlocks? I love the Warlocks!" James said, behind him Snape groaned and pointed his wand at James' head. Without even looking, James waved his wand and sent Snape flying back towards his table.

"Yeah I did. It was wicked, wasn't it?" Lily said.

"Was it that one about cauldrons?" Sirius asked.

"I love the Warlocks." James said again.

Ann and Lily exchanged small looks. "Oh you do?" Lily asked, looking shocked. "Well we've got two extra tickets to their concert on February 13th. If you feel like it, you can come." Lily said, cool-as-you-please.

"Yeah could be fun." Ann said, looking very much like she couldn't possibly care less.

"Definitely!" Sirius said grinning.

"Well alright then, I've got some work. I'm going to head back." Lily said to Ann as though once again Sirius and James had disappeared.

"I'll go with you. That essay on Merlin's oldest son will take me forever."

James turned to Sirius as the girls walked away. "And Moony said they'd never talk to us again!" He smiled arrogantly.

Sirius grinned and grabbed another egg. "I mean those girls didn't even care!"

In the hallway Lily high-fived Ann.

"It's like taking butterbeer from a baby." She said and giggled.


A/N – Alright everyone the next chapter is going to absolutely explosive and I'll make a little deal with you. We're at 55 reviews right now. If we can get to seventy the next chapter will be twice as long as this one making it about 4,000 or 5,000 words. Including, but not limited too the concert, some intense confrontations between James and Lily and of course Valentines Day. Now I know we all want to see that stuff so review away!

Also, you all really need to check out Pureblood Productions on youtube. and paste that link.

It's the best video I've ever seen! It's a H/G but they've also done J/L/S, R/Hr, and even a snape/McGonagall. Beautiful editing, smooth transitions everything… check it out!

Halfbloodhannah – I love hearing from you but you are by all means allowed (and encouraged to have a life!) plus the less time you spend reading my fic, the more time you spend writing yours, so in the end it all works out for me!

Lemonwedges 4- The game doesn't have any particular name but you are more than welcome to name it yourself! In my head I call it the 'get so drunk you have blackout sex' game. Not recommended for children!

Izthedoodler – I was rather annoyed with James too. But he DID have his reasons!

Dancing Cavalier – No need to review every old chapter! Good lord that kind of devotion would be nutty, but if you want to review from now on I could live with it…;) As for James, he's got his reasons.

Messyblackhair66 – James is weird, but I also think, in some ways, he's just more subtle than Sirius…dunno just my thought.

Horsebookworm – Why thank you! Hope you liked this one.