Merry Christmas

The weeks flew away in a monotone torpor as if the heaviness of the gray sky and the quiet coming of the winter buried people's gestures in a peaceful rest that only the first hours of the spring would bring back to life after long months of hesitation. Nobody moved; nothing changed and Karen kept on seeing Will, vaguely deploring her situation with Stanley who spent more and more time at Laurie's. Why did they remain married when they barely spoke to each other? She had crossed him in the kitchen one morning and apart from social events they still attended together, she knew absolutely nothing of his private schedule.

Her eyes followed the sweet fall of the flake from the heights of the clouds to the palm of her hand. She smiled at Grace when the snow made contact with her skin in an icy embrace. Her eyes were sparkling; she felt fine.

The interior designer smiled back before plunging her hands in the pockets of her coat. She cleared her voice, looked down at the asphalt becoming white then frowned.

"Did you think what you said about marriage?"

She seemed to be embarrassed and Karen wondered for a couple of seconds if the red on her cheeks was caused by the coldness of the air or the boldness of her question. The millionaire passed her tongue over her lips and shrugged.

"The years are passing by and I should come to the evident conclusion that I'm not talented at relationships so who can say if I'm right or not? I always end up failing… Perhaps I should reconsider my own behavior towards my partners."

An odd silence started floating over their heads, a bitter one; full of regrets. Karen frowned and looked back at her friend.

"What I said probably doesn't happen if the marriage rests on a sincere base; when love's involved…"

She came closer to Grace, looked around to check nothing in particular and locked her eyes with her friend's.

"Is there something wrong with Leo?"

The red-haired woman blinked and took a deep breath but she stayed quiet; seemed to hesitate. She started walking again, slowly, contemplating The Hudson River in the icy hours of the afternoon.

"I guess I'm pregnant."

Karen gasped and made a step forward to hug her friend though something stopped her halfway; the lack of enthusiasm in Grace's voice, her blank gaze. Her heart began to beat faster as a strong whirl of anxiety twirled in her mind.

"I think Leo's seeing someone else."

Stanley didn't suggest anything so she accepted Will's invitation and spent Christmas Eve at his place. Jack came too, but not Grace. She stayed with Leo for Karen's deepest regret who knew very well how many doubts and hesitations weighed on a marriage; how cold a face-to-face was, that so easily led to loneliness. The pregnancy test had turned out positive, emphasizing the interior designer's distress even more. She should have been there, with her friends; no matter that Karen was the only one who knew about her secret.

She burst out laughing as he opened his mouth and she made him bite into the strawberry. Juice ran down on his chin. She leaned over and licked it. Her tongue caressed his skin softly and came to brush his lips as she smiled mischievously. He swallowed the fruit and she kissed him immediately; and more deeply as his hands made their way on her hips.

Their caresses quickly reached a bolder stage and as she was about to go down his chest, setting off a well-known path of kisses, when Will pushed her away slowly; getting up off the bed and heading to his coat. She looked at him with confusion, feeling a bit stupid all of a sudden; alone in bed, naked. He turned around and sat down next to her.

"Merry Christmas, Karen."

The box was small, a deep velvet red. She cleared her voice and started moving nervously on the mattress.

"But you already offered me something yesterday…"

It wasn't the fact that she hadn't bought him another present but the intimacy of his gesture, there; under the gloomy light of The blue lagoon. It troubled her a lot when she shouldn't have because it was just about casual sex. The rules were clear; they had to be.

"I couldn't give it to you yesterday. You had to get it here and nowhere else because it belongs to this world. It has nothing to do with the life we're going through behind this door."

She opened it slowly, dreading the whole situation as much as she didn't want to, but she could recognize how she loved it; how his gesture was touching.

It was made of wood in extremely simple lines, almost naïve somehow; no feet, no arms. The head was pale but beautiful, pure and graceful. She took it between her fingers and smiled at Will, even more confused. She liked the red body, representing the kimono as the dark hair brushed in an eternal immobility on the shoulders and the cheeks.

The attorney sat behind Karen, embracing her body with his legs, leaning his chest against her back before taking the present in his hands.

"This is a Chinese doll; there're seven. This one symbolizes the concept of union though she's always lonely. It makes me think about you. That's why I chose it. I didn't mean to buy you something in the first place but I arrived earlier and found it while wandering through the streets."

Karen smiled but a sentiment of bitterness suddenly seemed to take possession of her mind, her heart. Her fingertips brushed the wooden doll; she looked aside.

"I would have never thought that my twin lived in Chinatown."

She turned around and passed her arms around his neck after putting down the doll on the bedside table with care. She locked her eyes with his; thought about Grace, Stanley, Jack, and Will.

"I like my loneliness since we've started all this."

It was sincere and extremely intimidating. She captured his lips in a sensual kiss to hide the fact she was vaguely blushing.