Holy Hades. Oh my gods. I checked my story traffic before I updated, and there were about 21. I update, take a shower, and watch TV for an hour then check them again. How many visits, you ask? 350! You guys are the awesomest people in the world, even if you are just total strangers. :) You also broke my record of visitors per day. It was a total of... (choked on my Cheez-its here)
553!
TheReadAndReviewer, I was thinking about skipping that book because Annabeth was holding the sky the whole time… but u gave me the idea to switch from Thalia and Annabeth! Thx a lot! :D
Rylie, I loved your comment, but can't be the best! I mean, I'm not even in high school yet!
Sorry about not updating in a few days. But I have an excuse. Went back to school on Thursday, and got piled with homework! Then on Friday, I had a music festival for school that went until 7! I didn't get home until 9 and I crashed about then. Very long day.
I am rambling sorry :) getting back to the story.
We Meet the Sofa King
It started out as my idea, I'll admit.
I called for a taxi, pushing Grover and Percy in, then said to the driver, "Los Angeles, please."
The cabbie just stared at us, chewing his cigar. "That's three hundred miles. For that, you gotta pay up front."
I was hoping he wouldn't say that, but of course, I had plan B, but I wasn't sure if it would work.
"You accept casino debit cards?" I asked.
He shrugged. "Some of 'em. Same as credit cards. I gotta swipe 'em through first."
I handed him my LotusCash card, and prayed to the gods that the hotel hadn't cancelled our account.
The driver looked at it doubtfully.
"Swipe it," I insisted, and he did.
The money machine started rattling, and I gave a tiny smirk of victory. The lights flashed, and an infinity symbol popped up beside the dollar sign. I felt like doing a little dance, but I withheld my urge, knowing everyone else in the car would look at me strangely for the rest of the ride.
The driver dropped his cigar, then stared at us like we were gods. Well we were half gods, but he didn't know that. "Where to in Los Angeles… uh, Your Highness.
Your Highness. Huh, I could get used to that.
"The Santa Monica Pier." I sat up a little straighter, just to fulfill my role as royalty. And maybe a tiny bit of enjoyment. Well, since I'm royalty, let's see how fast we can get there…
"Get us there fast, and you can keep the change," I said.
I guess the whole 'royalty' thing went a little overboard, because we never went below ninety-five on the speedometer.
Even going that fast though, we still had a lot of time to talk. Percy began telling us about another dream he had.
He didn't seem to remember much, unfortunately. There was a servant that he kept talking about, someone familiar, but the Lotus Casino seemed to have affected his memory.
"The Silent One? I suggested. "The Rich One? Both of those are nicknames for Hades."
"Maybe," said Percy hesitantly. He didn't sound so sure.
"That throne room sounds like Hades's. That's the way it's usually described," offered Grover.
Percy shook his head. "Something's wrong. The throne room wasn't the main part of the dream. And that voice from the pit… I don't know. It just didn't feel like a god's voice."
My eyes widened. Kronos….. A voice whispered in my mind. But it couldn't be. He had been chopped into little tiny evil Titan bits. There was no way he could gain consciousness, let alone a body, could there? The thought nagged at me.
"What?" asked Percy, seeing my expression.
Should I tell them? Indecision filled up inside of me. "Oh… nothing. I was just-No, it has to be Hades. Maybe he sent this thief, this invisible person, to get the master bolt and something went wrong-"
"Like what?" asked Percy.
That was a question I couldn't answer. And being a daughter of Athena, Goddess of Wisdom, it didn't make me very happy about it. "I-I don't know. But if he stole Zeus's symbol of power from Olympus, and the gods were hunting him, I mean, a lot of things could go wrong. So this thief had to hide the bolt, or he lost it somehow. Anyway, he failed to bring it to Hades. That's what the voice said in your dream right? The guy failed. That would explain what the Furies were searching for when they came after us on the bus. Maybe they thought we had retrieved the bolt," I said, words tumbling out of my mouth like a waterfall.
I still had a suspicion about Kronos, but I wasn't going to voice it, not yet.
Percy looked at me worriedly, but said nothing, and for that I was grateful. "But if I'd already retrieved the bolt, why would I be travelling to the
Underworld?" he asked.
"To threaten Hades. To bribe or blackmail him into getting your mom back," suggested Grover.
I looked at Grover appreciatively. Percy whistled. "You have evil thoughts for a goat."
"Why thank you," said Grover.
"But the thing in the pit said it was waiting for two items. If the master bolt is one, what's the other?" asked Percy.
Grover shook his head, mystified, but I looked at Percy with a silent plea to keep is mouth shut.
"You have an idea what might be in that pit, don't you," he asked me. "I mean, if it isn't Hades."
"Percy…" I started hesitantly. "Let's not talk about it. Because if it isn't Hades… No. It has to be Hades."
We passed a sign stating CALIFORNIA STATE LINE 12 MILES.
Percy was silent, thinking about what I'd said. He was concerned, just as much as I was, even if he didn't have all the information I had thought of.
I could tell because whenever he was thinking hard, he had a constipated look on his face.
"The answer is in the Underworld," I assured him. "You saw the spirits of the dead, Percy. There's only one place that could be. We're doing the right thing.
I began rambling about different ways to get into the Underworld, to get my friend's mind off the touchy subjects, but Percy didn't seem to be in the mood for strategizing.
We flew through Death Valley, appropriately named, because after all, it is Hades's favorite place, the lowest point in the U.S., and he made it so that anyone passing through without a car was likely to die.
At sunset, the taxi dropped us off in Santa Monica at a smelly beach, with various carnival rides on different piers surrounding us.
Percy, Grover and I walked down the ocean, wind blowing my hair, and the smell of the ocean filling my nose.
"What now?" I asked.
Percy stared into the ocean, thinking, the usual constipated face on, and stepped into the ocean.
"Percy?" I asked, confused. "What are you doing?"
He kept walking, as if pulled by some invisible force. I remembered that he was the Son of The Sea God, so it must have felt like home to him, but I didn't want him to leave.
"You know how polluted that water is? There's all kinds of toxic-"
Then his head disappeared under the waves. Part of me was wishing he could breathe underwater, while the other part was just plain annoyed.
And then we were stuck waiting for the stupid Seaweed Brain to resurface.
The day got darker, and finally, Percy splashed out of the ocean, completely dry.
He told us that he had been visited by a sea spirit, and showed us three pearls.
I grimaced. "No gift comes without a price."
"They were free," insisted Percy.
"No." I shook my head." 'There is no such thing as a free lunch' " I quoted. "That's the ancient Greek saying that translated pretty well into American. There will be a price. You wait."
We walked away from the sea, taking a bus to into West Hollywood with the extra change from Ares's backpack.
Percy showed the bus driver the address to DOA Recording Studios, A.K.A. the entrance to the Underworld, but he had never heard of it. I wasn't surprised. Many mortals never saw God-like structures or have even heard about them.
"You remind me of somebody I saw on TV," said the driver. "You a child actor or something?"
I begged the gods to let Percy have a stroke of genius, and not to blurt out something like, 'What are you talking about? I'm no fugitive or anything.'
"Uh…I'm a stunt double…for a lot of child actors."
"Oh! That explains it."
I thanked the gods profusely in my head.
We quickly got off at the next stop, wandering around on foot, looking for DOA. Nobody seemed to know where it was, and twice, we had to hide to avoid cops.
Percy froze outside an electronics store, staring at the multiple TV screens playing the same thing.
The man from the oracle was on the screen, talking to Barbara Walters, a famous TV host, who was patting his hand reassuringly.
A tear glistened on his cheek, but I could tell it was fake, from living with my human mortal half-brothers. I instinctively narrowed my eyes. I didn't like this person.
"Honest, Ms. Walters, if it wasn't for Sugar here, my grief counselor, I'd be a wreck. My stepson took everything I cared about. My wife… my Camaro… I-I'm sorry. I have trouble talking about it." He seemed to be really playing it up, but Barbara was just soaking it in.
"There you have it, America. A man torn apart. An adolescent boy with serious issues. Let me show you, again, the last known photo of this troubled young fugitive, taken a week ago in Denver."
A picture of me, Grover and Percy talking to Ares appeared, talking outside the diner.
"Who are the other children in this photo? Who is the man with them? Is Percy Jackson a delinquent, a terrorist, or perhaps the brainwashed victim of a frightening new cult? When we come back, we chat with a leading child psychologist. Stay tuned, America."
I wanted to hug Percy. I felt so bad for him. His fists were bunched up, and he was shaking, either with anger or something else.
"C'mon," said Grover. He took Percy's arm and pulled him away before Percy could do something irrational.
Night approached, and the more scary things started to come out. Homeless people looking to steal, possible rapists, kidnappers, unknown serial killers.
But don't get me wrong. I could easily defend myself against any attacker, but I wasn't so sure about Percy or Grover. I would probably have to end up saving their butts if we got into trouble.
We walked past an alley, and a voice emanating from the darkness called, "Hey, you."
Just keep walking, just keep walking, I silently begged to Percy and Grover.
Being the idiot Percy was, he stopped, and before I knew it we were surrounded by rich wannabe's pretending tough.
Percy uncapped Riptide, and I fully expected the kids to back of. The leader approached though, holding a switchblade, and Percy, the Seaweed Brain, swung, even though the kid was completely mortal.
The kid yelped in fright, but the sword went straight through him, not leaving a mark. He looked down at his chest. "What the…"
Percy turned to us and yelled, "Run!"
I wasn't about to argue, I turned tail and ran, Percy and Grover behind me, and we turned a sharp corner, not knowing where we were going.
"There!" I shouted, pointing to the only open store, with a neon green sign, and thanks to my dyslexia, it looked like CSRUTY'S WTARE DEB PLAACE.
"Crusty's Water Bed Palace?" asked Grover.
I shrugged, but ran in, hiding behind a water bed, Percy and Grover right behind me. The boys ran past, holding makeshift weapons, like a piece of wood, or a pipe.
"I think we lost them," panted Grover.
"Lost who?" boomed a voice behind us.
We all jumped.
Standing behind us was a man in a suit, who looked more reptilian then human. He was at least seven feet tall, with a shiny bald head. Not one hair to be found. His skin was gray and leathery, and his eyes looked heavy.
His suit was from the seventies at least, and a silk shirt unbuttoned halfway down his chest. Wasn't the prettiest picture.
There were many silver chains around his neck, too many to count.
"I'm Crusty," he introduced, and I wondered what mother could have named him that.
"Sorry to barge in," Percy said. "We were just, um, browsing."
"You mean hiding from those no-good kids," grumbled Crusty. "They hang around every night. I get a lot of people in here, thanks to them. Say, you want to look at a water bed?"
Percy was about to protest, but Crusty put a huge hand on his shoulder and led him deeper into the mattress jungle.
I didn't even know there were all the kinds of water beds.
"This is my most popular model." Crusty showed us a bed covered in black satin sheets, with built in lava lamps on the headboard. It vibrated, the water sloshing around like Jell-O.
"Million-hand massage," said Crusty. "Go on, try it out. Shoot take a nap. I don't care. No business today, anyway."
"Um," said Percy uncomfortably. "I don't think…"
"Million hand massage!" cried Grover, and he jumped on the bed. "Oh you guys! This is cool!"
"Hmm," Crusty stroked his chin, probably pretending that he had a goatee or something. "Almost, almost."
"Almost what?" asked Percy.
Crusty looked at me. "Do me a favor and try this one over here, honey. Might fit."
That didn't seem good. "But what-"
He patted me reassuringly and led me to a bed with lions carved in the frame and a leopard comforter. I really didn't want to lie down, but he pushed me.
"Hey!" I protested.
"Ergo!" Crusty snapped his dingers and ropes lashed out, holding me to the mattress.
Grover tried to get up, but ropes flew out and held him to the bed also.
"N-not c-c-cool!" yelled Grover. "N-not c-cool a-at all!"
Crusty looked at me, then Percy. "Almost, darn it."
Percy tried to step away, but Crusty grabbed his neck. "Whoa, kid. Don't worry. We'll find you on in a sec."
"Let my friends go."
"Oh, sure I will. But I got to make them fit, first," said Crusty.
"What do you mean?" asked Percy.
I didn't really want to find out.
"All the beds are exactly six feet, see? Your friends are too short. Got to make them fit."
Was this dude psychopathic? I struggled to get out of my bindings, but it was no use. If only I could reach my knife. Why on earth did I put it in my boot?
"Can't stand imperfect measurements, said Crusty. "Ergo!"
Ropes wrapped around my ankles and armpits, pulling in opposite directions, just like pulling a rubber band, except I was not going to snap back to my original form.
"Don't worry," said Crusty. "These are stretching jobs. Maybe three extra inches on their spines. They might even live. Now why don't we find you a bed you like, huh?"
Oh great. I was going to become the world's tallest woman, if I survived. The pain was starting and I was trying to counteract it by contracting. There was no way I could beat the ropes. I was just denying the inevitable if Percy couldn't cut them.
"Percy!" called Grover.
"Your real name's not Crusty, is it?" asked Percy.
"Legally, it's Procrustes," admitted Crusty.
Oh great. We stumbled into The Stretcher's lair. Of all the luck.
"The Stretcher," said Percy. I was surprised he remembered his lessons. Maybe I was a good teacher after all.
"Yeah," Crusty said. "But who can pronounce Procrustes? Bad for business. Now 'Crusty', anybody can say that."
"You're right. It's got a good ring to it," said Percy.
What in Hades was he doing? I was sorta in pain over here!
"You think so?"
"Oh, absolutely. And the workmanship on these beds? Fabulous!"
Okay, now he sounded like an Aphrodite girl ogling over some jewelry.
"I tell my customers that. Every time. Nobody bothers to look at the workmanship. How many built in lava lamp headboards have you seen?"
"Not too many," agreed Percy.
"That's right!"
Some serious pain was starting now. "Percy!" I yelled. "What are you doing?"
"Don't mind her," said Percy. "She's impossible."
Impossible? Impossible? If I ever got out of this I was going to wring his neck!
Crusty laughed. "All my customers are. Never six feet exactly. So inconsiderate. And they complain about the fitting."
"What do you do if they're longer than six feet?" asked Percy.
"Oh, that happens all the time. It's a simple fix."
He pulled out a double-bladed brass axe.
Well, that certainly looked pleasant.
"I just center the subject as best I can and lop off whatever hangs over on either end."
"Ah," said Percy. "Sensible."
The pain was really starting to kick in. I could see white and black spots now, and everything was turning blurry.
"I'm so glad to come across an intelligent customer!" said Crusty excitedly.
Percy glanced back at us. Grover was starting to make weird gurgling noises, which I perceived as 'not good'.
"So Crusty…" started Percy. "Does this one really have dynamic stabilizers to stop wave motion?"
"Absolutely. Try it out."
"Yeah, maybe I will. But would it work for even a big guy like you? No waves at all?"
"Guaranteed," said Crusty.
"No way."
"Way."
"Show me," said Percy.
He sat down eagerly onto the bed. "Now waves, see?"
Percy snapped his fingers. "Ergo."
If I hadn't been restrained, I would have clapped at his genius.
Ropes lashed Crusty to the bed.
"Hey!" he protested.
"Center him just right."
The ropes readjusted, Crusty's head sticking off the top and his feet off the bottom.
"No! Wait! This is just a demo," screamed Crusty.
Percy uncapped Riptide. "Just a few simple adjustments…"
"You drive a hard bargain," said Crusty. "I'll give you thirty percent off on selected floor models."
"I think I'll start with the top."
"No money down! No interest for six months!" pleaded Crusty.
Percy swung and I resisted the urge to quote from Alice in Wonderland 'Off with his head!' from the red queen.
Percy quickly ran over and cut our ropes. I sighed with relief.
"You look taller," smirked Percy.
"Very funny," I said dryly. "Be faster next time."
Percy looked on the desk of Crusty's sales counter, and picked up a slip saying DOA's address.
"Come on," he told us.
"Give us a minute," complained Grover. "We were almost stretched to death."
"Then you're ready for the Underworld," said Percy. "It's only a block from here."
I had a really bad feeling that things were about to get much worse.
Was it good? Was it okay? Bad?
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