"He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." Friedrich Nietzsche
"None of you are safe here anymore, and it's all because of me," Draco sighed into his hands, slumping forward against the table.
Everyone had gathered in the kitchen, and after giving Mr. and Mrs. Weasley a (mostly) thorough rundown of the events that had transpired since the end of the term, Harry and Draco were now trying to come up with possible solutions for their current problem.
Draco seemed to think that the only option was for him to turn himself in, but Harry was determined to prevent that from happening.
"Draco," he said, reaching out to put his hand on the other boy's shoulder, "this is not the end of the world, I promise. There are ways that we can deal with this, and we're still safe here. If there's one thing I know, it's that Dumbledore would never give us up. Never."
Draco turned away.
"That's not all I'm worried about, Harry," he said, sighing again heavily. "You don't know what it's like…having him in there. It's…I don't even know where my thoughts end and his begin. What if he can make me do things? What if I hurt you? What if I hurt any of you?" He trailed off, and Harry exchanged a significant glance with the elder Weasleys, who had been remarkably understanding (albeit a bit shocked) throughout the entire afternoon.
"Actually, I do…know what it's like," Harry admitted, and Draco raised his head. "I…I've been through exactly what you're going through, Draco. I still go through it, actually, but it's much better now. Trust me, you just have to learn how to fight it."
"I don't understand," Draco said slowly, staring at Harry with wide eyes. "You? The Dark Lo-…Voldemort…he's been in your head, too? How? For me, it's because of the Dark Mark, but you?"
Harry shifted in his seat.
"Well, he, ah, we…we're connected…because of the curse," he said, lightly touching his scar. "When I'm not in control, I can see his thoughts, and he can see mine."
Draco continued to gape unabashedly, and Harry continued.
"You need to learn Occlumency, Draco. It's the only way. There's no better teacher than Snape, as much as I hate to admit that. When can we get him here?" he asked, turning his attention to Mr. Weasley, but Draco leapt from his chair in a panic.
"NO!" he almost yelled, taking a few steps back. "My god, does Snape know about this place? He's a Death Eater, Harry! I've seen him! He'll kill us all!"
Harry jumped up and rushed over to Draco, kicking himself for not explaining things first.
"Draco, don't worry," he said in reassurance, guiding the boy back to his seat. "He's a double agent. He's on our side. I promise you. I'm so sorry. I should have known that you'd react that way."
Draco didn't look at all convinced.
"No, he's a Death Eater," he said, looking around the table anxiously. "I've seen what he's done. He's playing you all. Don't bring him here. Please."
Mrs. Weasley's face shone with concern.
"We won't. Not…not yet," she said, speaking up for the first time in several minutes. "It's okay, Draco. I understand how you must feel. We'll find another way."
Harry opened and closed his mouth silently, looking at Mrs. Weasley in confusion.
"Mrs. Weasley," he said, his voice a notch higher than usual, "We have to bring Snape here. He's the only one who can teach Draco. There's no other way. Unless someone at this table feels up to the challenge? Do any of you know Occlumency well enough?"
There was a small moment of silence before Ron spoke up from the corner. He'd been so quiet that Harry had almost forgotten he was there.
"Well, you do, mate," the red-head said with a small shrug of his shoulders. "Don't you?"
Now it was Harry's turn to gape.
"What? No. I mean yes, but no. I'm not…I couldn't…I can barely do it myself half the time! It has to be Snape."
Draco was shaking his head vehemently.
"No, Harry, I won't do it. I'm sorry. Not from him. I won't let him near me, and I definitely won't let him near you. You said that you can control it now…that it's better for you. You can teach me. I know you can."
"Harry, it's worth a shot, isn't it?" Mr. Weasley asked, and Mrs. Weasley nodded her head.
"We know that you're a good teacher. You just have to believe in yourself. And besides, right now, it's the best option we've got."
Harry sighed, holding his head in his hands for a moment.
"Alright, I'll do it," he said, and Draco's face lit up with relief, "BUT," he continued before anyone could speak, "only if you promise me something, Draco."
Draco's face clouded over again.
"I…I…what is it?"
"You have to promise me that if we don't have some kind of success within the next few days, you'll let Snape help you. You have to trust me, okay? Just…trust me."
Draco looked extremely doubtful and more than a little frightened, but to everyone's surprise, he nodded his head slowly.
"I'll think about it," he said quietly, "and I do trust you. It's just that Snape is smart. I don't understand how you can be sure that he's playing for the good side."
Harry smiled a little, reaching for Draco's hand under the table.
"Because Dumbledore's sure," he said, "and if we can't believe Dumbledore, than who can we believe?"
Draco didn't say anything, but he did seem to relax a little, and Harry leaned across the table to address Mr. and Mrs. Weasley again.
"What are we going to do about Dumbledore?" he asked, the words catching in his throat as he imagined the kind of horrors that the headmaster was surely being subjected to. "We have to find him. We have to."
Mrs. Weasley grasped Harry's other hand and squeezed it reassuringly.
"We've got the whole Order working on it, dear," she said. "Right now, you need to focus on Draco. It's the only thing that you have any power over. Let us handle the rest for the time being."
Harry looked into her eyes and nodded, knowing that she was right.
"Well, there's no time like the present, I suppose," he said abruptly, rising to his feet. "We might as well get started. With me in the lead, it's not going to be easy."
Draco stood slowly from his chair.
"Yeah," he mumbled, clearly still shaken. "Yeah, I suppose we'd better."
The two boys turned to leave the room, but Mrs. Weasley grabbed hold of Harry's arm, stopping him in place.
"Harry, could I have a quick word?" she asked, locking eyes with him. "Alone?"
He raised his eyebrows, glancing at Draco.
"Ah, sure, Mrs. Weasley," he said with a forced smile. "Draco, you go ahead. I'll meet you upstairs."
The other boy looked at the two of them with curiosity but grudgingly left the room, heading for the stairs. Ron and Mr. Weasley stood as well, making a show of finding reasons to exit until Harry was alone with Mrs. Weasley in the kitchen.
"What's this about, Mrs. Weasley?" he asked, his stomach curling as though he already knew the answer, and she motioned for him to sit.
"Harry, I'm sure you must know that I love you like one of my own children, and I feel…well, I feel like a mother to you."
Harry nodded.
"I know," he said with a genuine smile this time despite the trepidation he felt inside.
"Good," she said, taking a long sip from her cup of what must have been very cold tea. "You see, we've discussed just about everything this afternoon, except for the fact that-" She cleared her throat awkwardly. "Except for the fact that you and Draco are…well, you're…" she trailed off as though unable to find the right words, and Harry jumped to her rescue.
"You don't have to say it, Mrs. Weasley," he said, his cheeks burning. "I-I know…I know that it's probably very strange for all of you, and, believe me, it's strange for me too. I never expected-…I never even knew that I was-"
This time, it Mrs. Weasley who came to his rescue.
"Harry, we love you," she interrupted, reaching for his hand again. "We'll always love you. No matter what. It doesn't matter to us. And, if you love Draco, we'll love him too, even if it might take a little while to fully…adapt…to the idea." She was looking pointedly at the spot where Ron had just been sitting. "He'll come around," she said. "I know he will. He just needs some time. And I want you to know that I'm here for you if you ever want to talk about this. I'm not trying to pressure you, but I'm here for you. Any time."
Harry squeezed her hand.
"Thanks, Mrs. Weasley," he said, feeling a rush of warmth flood his chest. "I don't know what I would do without you."
"Crash and burn," she joked, giving him a warm smile. "In all seriousness, though, there's one last thing that we need to talk about. You boys, well, you will not be sharing a bedroom, even with everything out in the open. You may be The Chosen One and I may not be your real mother, but you're still a teenager, and I know what teenagers get up to without the proper guidance, so don't let me catch you two having any sleepovers, alright?"
Harry blushed again, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable. He wondered briefly if he should tell her that he and Draco had already done the very thing that she was trying to prevent, but he decided that no, he definitely shouldn't, and settled for nodding in a way that he hoped didn't make him look him guilty. He knew that a tiny thing like separate bedrooms wouldn't stop him from making Draco feel what he had felt the night before. "God, I want to fuck him," he found himself thinking before remembering that now was not the time to get an erection. There were bigger things to deal with…at least for a little while.
"Er, yes, y-yes, of course," he mumbled, half-rising from his chair. "I should probably go for now, though. Draco's waiting for me, and we have a lot of work to do."
Mrs. Weasley let go of his hand and stood up herself.
"Absolutely. You go. And thank you, Harry, for talking to me," she said, giving him a pat on the shoulder. "I'll give you two a holler around dinner time, alright?"
"Sure, Mrs. Weasley," he said, throwing her a last smile before heading toward the door. "We'll be very hungry…I'm sure."
