It was Sunday evening and I was telling my parents about my trip and how Ben proposed to me. They looked at the pictures we took, and I discussed some of the plans we made. I told mother that Ben would be in town next month and we'd go over to the wedding plans and details. My parents were really excited and were already planning engagement parties and other events. Jade wasn't in yet. I act dad where she was this late on a Sunday. He seemed worried.
"I don't know honey you need to talk to her and spend some time with that girl she's been acting very strange and distant lately."
mother said. "you know she'll be a senior next year and has no clue what she wants to do beyond high school."
"Just give her some time. her heart is good and she'll be okay." I said. Then again I had no clue what was going on with her either.
I was really tired from the trip, both physically and mentally; all I wanted to do was sleep. I went to my bathroom took a shower and was out like a light. an hour later the phone awakened me. going after mother was knocking on my door. I rolled over, barely conscious and said,
"What is it?"
mother was so angry she could barely speak. "One of Jade's friends called and said she has been drinking and she cant drive home. Can you go and get her? If I go no telling what im a do!"
"Where is she?" I asked.
"I'm not sure. Some boy is on the phone."
"Okay I'll it." I said half asleep.
I spoke to some guy name Jerry. He gave me the address to where Jade was. I told him to take her keys and I'd be right over. It took me about thirty minutes to get to Jerry's house, and I was pissed Jade. Not for getting drunk, but for bringing it home. My philosophy had always been, do your dirt but never bring it home. What the folk didn't know wouldn't hurt them. I pulled up to a yard checking to see I had the right address. I noticed some guy waving at me from the porch with some other guy standing next to him. As I got out of the car, I noticed Jade at the side of the house bent over. I couldn't believe my eyes. My little sister! I'd never seen her like this. She always been so straight laced, always concerned about what people thought of her. I made sure she was finished throwing up, then I put her in the car. Jerry gave me her keys, and I thanked him for calling us. On my way home Jade mumbled something about how she was sorry, and did mom and dad know. I didn't respond to her questions, just asked if they hurt her. She said no. I knew she wouldn't comprehend much else, but I wanted to get clarity on that. When we got home I cleaned Jade up and put her to bed, then got into bed myself. It was going on to 2:00 in the morning. I was glad the folks would be off to work in the morning and wouldn't have much time to get on Jade's case. Since I was off it would give me a chance to see what was going with her.
By the time I woke up it was 11:00. I didn't mean to sleep so late. I got up and went to check on Jade. She wad still sleep. I went to put on a pot of coffee when the phone rang. It was Carmen.
"Hey what's up?"
"You girl. How was your trip?"
"It was good. I had a great time."
"Good for you. So did you guys set a date?"
"We're looking at June twenty-second next year," I said. "Have you talked to Maya lately?"
"As a matter of fact we all hung out Saturday night."
"Ohh, where did you go?"
"We went to Iran's house and had a great time. You know Emily, I really miss hanging out with you. I understand what you'rw trying to do, but it's not the same without you."
"I miss you guys too, but..."
"Maya was asking a lot of questions about you."
I didn't say anything for a moment.
"Hello Emily?"
"Yea sorry about that. So um questions like what?"
"Like are you serious about getting married, and what brought about this change."
"What did you tell her?"
"I didn't tell her anything. Besides I don't have any answers that make sense. I told her if she really wanted to know she needed to ask you herself. I'm not racking my brain anymore. Maya said she probably wouldn't. She was just curious. If you want to know what I think, I think the chick really likes you. Despite your issues."
"We went to lunch before I left and had a really good time. She seems to be a really decent person."
Just as Carmen was about to respond, Jade staggered in holding her head. I told Carmen I'd call her later. Then I looked at Jade and said "Looks like you had a wild night."
"Mom and dad are going to kill me, she groaned."Why can't I ever do anything right for them?"
"What are you talking about? All they want you to do is go to school and be somebody in life so you won't have to struggle. What's so hard about that?"
"I'm not you! I'm not Ms. Perfect!"
"Then don't try to be me. Be you. And I'm NOT perfect despite what you think. Stop playing games and tell me what's wrong."
"I don't know, Emily and I'm going back to bed. I need my rest before mom gets home and get on my case.
"Well, you've given her every right to treat you like a two-year old."
Jade turned around as she walked down the hallway. "What are you talking about Emily? Do you think you're the only person in this house? Like you've never messed up. Your whole life is messed up!"
I couldn't believe she was talking to me like this. I didn't even look at her.
"Look like a said before I never said I was perfect, and I think you better go back to bed."
Jade walked away and I was left standing there in amazement. I was trying to figure out where all this was coming from. I was really feeling stressed between the whole sex thing with Ben, Carmen tripping about my wedding, Maya coming out of nowhere and now Jade going through these changes.
I was still a little tired, but i didnt feel if I laid down l'll get much rest. So ... I decide to go to the gym. I took a chance calling maya to see if maybe she wanted to come with me. I called her house and she answered the phone.
"Hi Maya its Emily."
"Oh hey Emily, how are you and how was your trip?"
"Real good. But I came home last night to a little drama."
"What happen" Maya said with concern.
"My lil sister got drunk and I had to go pick her up late last night from some guy house." Emily said a bit annoyed with the situation.
"How old is she?"
"Seventeen."
"Hm well you know what seventeen is like."
"Yeah, but I also think something else is going on with her."
"Did you ask her?"
Emily took a brief moment before she answered.
"She won't really talk to me. It's as if she's blaming me for whatever's wrong with her life." Emily sighed in frustration. "Whatever, I didn't call to bore you with family stuff. I thought maybe you would like to go to the gym"
Emily knew Maya wasn't the gym type of girl but she ask anyway..doesn't hurt to ask right? Maybe something good may come out of it.
"The family stuff is important Emily. I love that you feel comfortable enough to share your family drama to me I'm always here for you Em."
Emily smiled..hard.
Maya then went on saying "And you're not boring me you could never. And Em I think you and I both know I'm not a gym type of girl. But if you want to swing by afterwards I'd enjoy the company."
"Okay yea, just give me the directions and I'll be over in about an hour or so."
"Great see you then."
I went to the gym and tried hard to concentrate. But there was too much on my mind. Ben, Carmen,Jade. But most, I couldn't wait to see Maya. Soon I was in the showered and was on my way.
I didn't realize she lived so close to the gym, it took fifteen minutes to get to her house. I pulled up to a light blue house with an amazing garden. The neighbor hood was very quite. I knocked on the door and Maya answered.
"So, you found it with no problem I hope."
"Directions were perfect."
"Come in. Can I get you something to drink..water, cranberry juice, OJ?"
"Water is fine." I said when I could've really used a mid day mimosa.
Maya had music blasting from one of the rooms in the back. She gave me a quick tour of her house. It felt homey. I took a seat on the sofa, Maya came back with my water handed it to me and sat in the chair next to it.
"So tell me tell me about your trip."
"Well it went really well. I met Ben's family, and he proposed to me in front of his family and friends." I showed her my ring. "We had a great weekend...and I'm lucky to be marrying a man like him." She said as she sips her water, then place it down on the coffee table in front of her.
"Did you tell him anything about you?" Maya said
"What do you mean?" I asked as if I didn't know.
"You know exactly what I mean. Did you tell him about your change?"
"No" I said "Why would I? Maya I've moved on with my life."
"Well if you love him as you say you do, he has a right to know. It's only fair. You should go into marriage with the truth. Give him a chance to decide if he still wants to be with you. But he does have a right to know Emily."
"No one needs to know everything about anyone."
Maya ignored that and asked "So when's the big day, and am I going to get an invite?"
"June twenty-second. And of course you're welcome."
"But will I get invite. And that's kind of soon, seven months from now. I thought you guys just met," she said "What's the rush?"
"Yes, you will get invite. And we don't think it's soon at all. What are we waiting for anyway?"
Once again she ignored me, and I didn't press it. Despite out conversation I always felt special in her presence. She told me she had something she wanted me to see. She left the room and returned with this large drawing pad. Instead of returning to her chair, she sat on the sofa next to me and said,
"What do you think of these...and be honest. Don't just say you like them because you love me. Give me your real opinion."
What she said about love didn't register right away. I looked closely at her drawings and thought they were good. She had pictures of Dorothy Dandridge, Billie Holliday, and Josephine Baker. That trio itself led me to believe that Maya had an old but wise soul. It was difficult to concentrate because she was sitting so close to me. She must have read my mind because she asked rather slyly "Am I making you uncomfortable?"
She had this subtle way of flirting and dropping hints. I had to acknowledge that I was very attracted to this women.
"No I'm not uncomfortable. I'm here because I think we can be friends. I mean I'd be lying to you if I said i don't like you sitting to close to me. I like being around you. I like your vibe, but no I don't feel threatened..."
Maya looked at me as if I'd just fed her a line of crap. Even I didn't know what the hell I was talking. Maybe it was just me being damn nervous that this beautiful women was sitting so close to. With that Maya said "Okay..So what do you really think of my drawings?"
There was one of two women embracing the earth, which was splitting apart. I asked her what it meant.
"I see this world falling apart and the strength and courage of women united by our faith, courage and resilience keeping it together. Don't get me wrong I'm not a man hater. But they've been in control for a long time. I'm going to be the first B.L.P."
"B.L.P." I asked in a questioning tone.
"Black Lesbian President, and if you're lucky you'll be first lady."
I just looked at her and we both laughed.
Then she said "Don't laugh I'm serious."
I quickly looked back at her drawings. "They're very good. You're extremely talented."
Maya smiled. "Thank you. This is what I do in my spare time, which isn't often.."
Suddenly out of no where I blurted "Maya, are you dating that woman who was waiting for you in the parking lot?"
Maya laughed and said "No she's just a good friend, like a mentor. She keeps me balanced. She's always been there for me and me for her."
"What type of balance? Does she knows you're a lesbian?" Emily said sarcastically.
"Yes she does. I know where you're going with this, but its not like that. Vanessa is not a lesbian." Then she smiled. "For somebody who's so determined to change you are definitely concerned with the company I keep."
"No that's not it at all. We've always talked about my personal life, I just thought i'd ask you what was happening with you."
We talked for a few more hours about where we'd been and where wanted to go. After talking to Maya I really believed she could be the first B.L.P. I was really enjoying her company, and out of nowhere she asked me if Ben and I made love. I told her that was personal and I really didn't want to discuss it. But the real answer was i didn't want Maya to know I had made "love" to Ben. What was I ashamed of? What was the big deal? And why did Maya want to know?
We talked a little politics and about the gay life. We debated whether or not the gay rights movement could compare to the civil rights movement. After all, discrimination is discrimination. Maya said "True, but the color of my skin was the basis of the hate then. Now, with the gay rights movement, it's not all about race. You can't look at a person and know if they're gay. So how can you know who to hate? You have to actually get to know them. You have to conceive of the person, love the person, work with the person, call them your brother, sister, grandchild, niece, nephew or best friend. Then once you find out they're gay then some people hate who they are. When it comes to race you can cross that out why? Because when they hate that's when everybody wanna come together as one. See Emily people believe the hate and discrimination is justified and that's the only similarity I see... I'm sorry for getting on my soapbox. I know you didn't come here to hear me give a lecture."
I smiled. Because when she spoke, She spoke with such poise and confident.
We talked more about her and her family and I told her all about my family. We then order pizza.
"When does your family get home?"
"My mother will be picking my brother up from football practice, then they're going shopping or something. So don't worry you will have me all to yourself."
"There you go again Maya being all flirtatious. Keep it up!" I said laughing
"No i'm just kidding." She said with the world's sexiest smile.
I then excused myself to go to the bathroom. Maya directed me down the hallway. As I came out of the bathroom, she came out of her room and we kind of meet each other in the narrow hallway. All in one motion she grabbed my arm and turn me to face her. She pushed me against the wall. She then reached around my neck and put her soft lips against mines. She kissed me with more warmth and passion than I'd ever felt in my life and I didn't want it to stop. So I grabbed her by the waist as I pushed her against the wall. Kissing her down her neck as her hands roamed under my shirt.
As her hands made their way to my breast, she squeezed them I moaned at the contact and the sensation I was feeling. She took my shirt off and kissed me adding her tongue making my body quiver. We only broke the kiss to take off her shirt. At this point I was kissing get down her neck..down her collarbone to the middle of her breast. "Emily" she moaned. as she wrapped her hands in my hair. I began unbuttoning her pants as she was taking off my bra and sucking on my left breast, as my hand made their way in her panties touching her very wet and headed center Maya moaned out loud "Ah Em" This causing emily body to quiver. Emily thought about how this..here with Maya didn't even come close when she made love to Ben. Oh shit Ben Emily said to herself in her head. With every little strength in her body that she had left she pulled away from maya. "Maya I..." Emily said quickly as she put on her bra and shirt. Maya did the same.
"Emily I'm so sorry."
"You don't need to apologize. You didn't do anything I didn't want you to do."
"But-"
Emily cut her off "It's not your fault...look I've got to go. I'll call you later."
There was silence as I walked to the door. Neither of us knew what to say or where to go from there. But I had to get away from her right then.
I got in my car and drove around in traffic with my windows rolled down. It was either the hottest day in November or I was having an anxiety attack. This is my fault. I set myself up I could be around Maya and nothing would happen. So what happens now?
"WHAT NOW! I yelled at the top of my lunges, sweat dripping from my face.
I managed to gather myself, but didn't know what to do. I hadn't made it too far from Maya's house and not even knowing why I went back. I rang the doorbell. She answered and I said
"Maya I don't know why I came back here, and I don't know what to do..."
She looked at me and reached for my hand. She had no answer either. "Come in Emily you're soaking wet, let me get you a towel. Where did you go?"
"I drove around."
"Why are you soaked.?"
"I don't know." I said unable to look her in the face. "Maya who am I fooling? I've tried so hard to be the woman my family wants me to be. I graduated from college, I work, I don't do drugs and I'm trying to change. What else do they want from me? Why is this so difficult? Then just when I feel I'm at my strongest, I meet you. A woman I should've met years ago, a woman who cares about this world and her life. A woman who I can trust and who's not about playing games. Maya you're about as close to perfect as I'm ever going to see."
Maya smiled
"But" Emily continued and Maya's smile started to fade away. "But right now we can't be friends I don't trust me with you."
She looked me in my eyes and said "Emily you've been on my mind since you left to go see Ben. I love your vulnerability. I appreciate what you're trying to do regardless of how I feel about it. I want to be apart of your life because of that vulnerability. I could easily fall in love with you. If I had a chance to be everything Ben will be. The only difference is I'll be what you really want. A woman. One that'll love you like you always wanted."
I began to cry uncontrollably. I reached out to her and held on. I whispered in her ear, "Thank you for being you, and you'll always have my vote for president. Goodnight."
I walked out the door realizing I may never see her again. With a false sense of relief, I got in my car, turned on the air this time and drove off.
Thank you all for reading hope that you like it. :) Please review. And I thank you all for waiting..
