Since the moment I woke up today, there was one thing on my mind. Today is the day Coveny almost kills me. It raced through my head like a shooting star, only I knew my wish couldn't come true. I laid quietly, content that Marko was still asleep, only because he would make me go. It wasn't like he wanted to, but it had to happen, everything had to be as it was, it had to all happen the same way. Fuck. My nerves are shot, I can't do this anymore. By the luck of the draw I meet vampires. I love Marko so much it hurts, my heart aches with a burning pain when I think of losing him, but if I had the option to go back to Queens, and forget all of this, part of me wishes that I'd want to. When he started to stir, so did the butterflies in my stomach. I felt my nerves tingle as he opened his eyes and smiled at me, A smile that quickly faded as he turned his head away and spoke. "I guess you already know what today is." He assumed. "I haven't been able to stop thinking about it." He looked back at me. "Well don't worry, we show, we get you out, and then its over." He was trying to comfort me. "Yeah I know that but i'm not looking forword to the beating. Like, at all." I stated. "Well, who would be?" He answered. "Let's go into the living room." He suggested as he began getting up. I followed him into the other room, filled with the other three boys in whose hands my life lied.

"Hey Bern." Paul spoke. "Hi." I answered weakly. David was thinking intently, it was clear by the stern look on his face. Dwayne was snoozing on the big technocolored couch. "We have to be at the house at exactly 11:45." Aparently everyone remembered what today was. Then David looked at me. "We won't be late." He said with a smile. I couldn't smile, all I could do was think about being killed, I mean really, they made it just in time. "When do I have to do this?" I asked him. I knew it was late, but I didnt know what time it was now! "Um..." He started, "About 10 minutes." I felt my heart stop, then I got pissed off when I felt it start up again, cause i just didn't want to go, I had a bad feeling. I had no choice so I stood and we left.

The house was so beautiful. It was white with these dark green shutters. You gotta go to the ends of Long Island to see that. We got bricks and dirty plastic siding but nothing like this house. It was so unlike the couple it consumed. They had dark secrets, violent outbursts, and heart wrenching lives. I waited across the street until I was sure that Coveny wasn't there, just like last time. Ten minutes after I was waiting, Coveny came out the door, got into his car, and drove away. I saw Glenda watching out the window. I crossed the street and walked through the door. "Glenda." I said. She looked up fast. "Oh my god Bernadette! Where have you been, I was so worried." I felt bad. but not after I remembered that she just left me. "Glenda he hit me, I'm sorry, but I couldn't stick around." She just kept shaking her head. "I wish I could just pick up and leave." That confused me. "Well if you want to, why don't you?" I asked her. She just looked shocked. "Well I can't he would find me." I took off my jacket and laid it on the couch next to me. I totally forgot that that was how he knew I was there, but it wouldn't have mattered if I did remember because I had to leave it there anyway, Everything must be the same. "Glenda, you could die if you stay here. He's a violent alcoholic!" She stood up. "No, he's a good man. He said he would stop, he said he'd get help." I just felt so sorry for her. "Glenda, he'll kill you." I said softly. Her eyes widened as she saw headlights pull into the driveway. "Bernadette you have to hide." I didn't even realize what was going on. "Why?" I asked. "He's back, Coveny, he'll kill you, you have to leave, He won't stop saying that he'd find you and kill you." Holy crap. "GO! Hide!" She screamed. I felt suddenly helpless and I ran into the dining room, I opened the closet door and hid behind the coats. I heard him come into the house. He slammed the door shut and locked it. "Glenda what fucking excuse for a man do you have hiding here!" All I can think is how does he know I'm here? "Coveny no ones here." She was trying to protect me. "Don't you lie to me you fucking bitch, whose jacket is this?" He screamed. Holy shit, I left my coat on the couch. "This is a girls coat…This is that little fucking whore's coat!" Shit. "Where the fuck is she Glenda?" Not good, not good, not good! I hope the boys are here!"She's not here Coveny." It wasn't convincing. I heard the familiar sound of Flesh hitting flesh. "That's it Coveny! I'm leaving!" And that exactly what she did. She walked out the door and slammed it just like he had. She left me here alone for him to find me and kill me! "Where the fuck are you, you little bitch!" I stayed quiet as I could but he started looking. I heard him start going up stairs. "If you don't come out it will be worse." He yelled. I took his climb to the second floor as a chance to get out of there. I bolted out of the closet and ran to the front door. I had made more noise than I thought cause I heard him start for the stairs. When I went to open it it was locked. He was half way down the stairs and I didn't have time to unlock it. I ran back toward the dining room when he grabbed me roughly by the hips and threw me to the ground. "You fucking little bitch, you made Glenda leave me!" He kicked me hard in the stomach Where were the boys! I grunted. "No I didn't!" I tried. That only made him mad. He grabbed me hair with both of his hands and yanked me up off the floor. He brought me into the kitchen and bent me over the counter. His body was pressed hard against mine. He reached for a knife as tears came to my eyes. His close distance caused me to smell the hard liquor on his breath. He pressed the knife to my back but not hard enough to pierce my skin. "Please." I said calmly, I didn't want to set him off. "There is no reason for me not to plunge this fucking knife into your fucking back!" He was gonna do it. I just kept crying. "I'm sorry." I said through tears. He laughed. "So you admit you did something wrong. You fucking whore, lets see your fucking boyfriend save you now, your mine." He moved the knife away and grabbed my hair. He threw me to the floor and kicked me once again. I screamed fully this time because the pain was just too much. I grunted as I tried to get up, but he just kicked my back and caused me to fall to the floor. "God, please." He walked slowly closer. "You don't want to die." He was cruel. "No." I said through tears. He knelt beside me and pressed the knife to my cheek. Again he did not cut me. "Well, I will kill you, you little bitch, and you boyfriend is not here to help you." I cried. This time, I didn't get saved, they didn't make it in the knick of time, I began to see white as I felt the sharp pain of his knife plunging into my back.

As the white got brighter, I began to see a figure coming towards me. I was frightened at first untill it got closer, she got closer. "Nanny?" Tears began to fall from my tired eyes. "Hello baby." She answered. She was my grandmother and she died when I was 15. She was my best friend. "Nanny, I...I can't believe your here right now." She smiled at me. "I've been watching over you, and stop getting so close to that boy!" I laughed, just like my religious Nanny to say. "Nanny, whats happening right now?" I was scared, was I dead? "Well, you could be coming with me, but it's not you time." She said. "What are you talking about?" I asked her. "I love you." She said, she never said that, I always had to make her up untill the end. And as the white turned back into the kitchen, Nanny began dissapearing. I cried, I didn't want to let her go. There was so much I wanted to tell her, like, Sometimes I wonder what I would do if you were to walk through the door. What would it feel like to see you in person? Would I be afraid to talk to you because its been so long? Would our conversations be the same? What would I say to you? I always pray that I could have a dream about you just to have the sensation of talking to you and being near you. When you left this world you took a huge part of me with you. Its killing me that I can never talk to you again or look at you again, or hug you ever again. It's supposed to get easier, right? I can't believe I have to live my life without you. People who have died are never viewed the way they should be by people who didn't know them, but i'll change that. You won't just be a story, Nanny. I'll show my kids the life changing person you really are, and you'll influence them the way that you've influenced me. Which, to say the least, is tremendously. I still cry every single night. I never tell anyone, but I do. I couldn't begin to explain what I'd give up to have a day, or even a minute with you. You were one of the greatest people in my life. You taught me so much without even knowing it. You were more than a grandmother to me, you were my best friend. I love you, Nanny. But she dissapeared before I got the chance.

I felt the warmth force its way into my body, When i opened my teary eyes I saw Marko standing over me, his eyes puffy and wet. He pulled me up into his arms squeezing me tightly. He had just healed me, I guess I had died. "Im so sorry, im so sorry." He kept repeating as he rocked me back and forth. The shock of the entire situation made me dizzy, my head felt like it weighed 200 pounds. I wanted nothing more than to sleep, and thats just what I did, I was out like a light in Marko's arms.

I woke in the same bed I had woken in so many times before. I was just happy to wake at all. I stood and walked over to the mirror, I just looked so different. I wasn't the same person I was in New York. Despite anything that happened to me there, I was happy. I had people, I had a life, a routine for God's sake! Here, I don't know, i'll be the first to tell you that a little disorder is required, but this is just too much. New York had just the right about of disorder. I listened to the conversations out in the living room. I heard the voice that, for the last few days, I had only heard in my dreams, Or my nightmares I should say. The other group. I hesitantly walked towards the room, not sure if I should walk out among them all. I certainly didn't want to, so I decided to wait and listen. They were talking about the meeting Marko and I were to have with them soon, perhaps the last meeting I would ever have in my life with anyone ever! They wanted it to be tonight! I wasn't up to this, and to my surprise, David said yes! I can't imagin why we were even tolerating this, but I didn't know their life or anything about how they negotiated, so I had to accept what came to me. What A mess this was. I was just a god damn orphan! And look what the fuck happened. Some free advice, make friends with your aunts and uncles boys a girls. I turned to get back in the bed when I was stopped in my tracks, one of the other gang stood before me. I was in shock, scard beyond belief. He just stood their, stairing, smiling. "Were you coming back to bed?" he asked tauntingly. How long was he standing there? I started to back up towards the living room, but he was upon me before i knew it, before I could scream, before I could get help. He covered my mouth with his hand and he forced me around so I could see in the living room. My heart was beating so fast it almost felt steady. He wanted me to listen to their conversation. "You see how much they care about you, right away their ready to send you back out to be killed." I couldnt stop the tears, I didn't wan to believe him but my mind wandered anyway. "I think Marko wants you to die, let a huge weight off his shoulders, all of their shoulders." I hate this guy. "You smell really nice." He said. I knew where this was going and I was not having it. I'd been through this so much. So, as I felt him smell my hair and brush his hand against me, I kicked on the door as hard as I could. It flew open and the two of us were exposed to the entire room. It didnt look good for him. He was holding me tightly with one hand over my whouth, meanwhile Dwayne, David, Paul, and Marko were all standing right there. He let me go right away and I ran to Marko who looked like he was ready to kill that guy, instead he just held me protectively, i felt safe. "Ahh Bernie, welcom to our little disscussion." The leader said. I looked at him right in the eye, all I could see were violent flashbacks of everything he had done to me, and I was mad. I hated that I let myself be so weak out here. California drained all the fight out of me, no one was ever a challenge for me. I was wiped out. I buried my teary face into Marko's chest, and his hand migrated to my head, which he cradled gently as the conversation continued. "What time are we doing this?" David asked. I didnt even want to listen. "Two hours, We'll meet in two hours." The leader said with a smile. I wanted to kill him, but that was one fight I would never win. With that they all walked out. "Well," I started, "I really missed my special friends." Paul put a hand on my shoulder as we moved to the couch.

Marko and I had spent some time alone together before we had to go. We laid in that bed stairing blankly knowing there was just ten minutes before we had to leave. "I wish you would just come with me, I wish we could just run to New York. I think you'd really like it." I wish that could happen so badly. "Maybe one day Bern." He was playing with my hair and holding my hand on his chest. This was just so scary. We heard Davin call from inside and reluctantly stood to meet them.

The beach was chille. I was shivering, more from fear then from the chill. I stood between Paul and david, tightly tangled in Marko's arms. "So what exactly is the plan here guys?" I asked. "Well, we fight, hopefully it's us who come out alive."