Sorry I've been dead for so long, I had two weeks of oral and written exams for uni' immediately going back to school and I've been a little sick since Saturday (horse-riding under the rain is decidedly not a good idea, especially without a coat :p) so writing hasn't been too much on my mind.
Soooo, I seem to have upset quite a few people with the last chapter, apologies for that ^^. Ah well, as I'm going to be sticking to the outline I've had for this story from the beginning, I'm probably going to get a lot of disappointment then, as things are definitely not going to get better yet. However, if I promise you a happy ending for both Anna and Elsa now, will you forgive me? :) Pretty please?
And no, before you worry, Oleg has no romantic feelings for Elsa and nor she for him, promise, he just wants to help and Elsa is glad for the company. ;)
"Hey, what's the matter?"
Elsa looked up from where she'd been twirling her spoon in one of Kistroff's hot chocolates absent-mindedly. Oleg leaned forward, resting his head on his hands, as he calmly asked her the question again, and the blonde sighed quietly.
What's the matter? Everything was the matter, that was the problem, so much that she didn't even know where to begin.
Since Anna had asked for them to put distance between each other, every day had seemed like an eternity, and no longer was there anything to look forward to. Elsa still enjoyed working around the castle, the servants and cooks were still extremely nice to her, and Anna and her parents still spared a kind word when she passed them by during her chores, but it just wasn't the same anymore, and Elsa missed the closeness she'd once had with the princess.
She understood why Anna couldn't be with her, she understood why the princess no longer helped her learn how to read or brought her out on small afternoon walks around Arendelle, but it didn't mean that Elsa missed it any less. The older girl tried as much as she could not to dwell on the matter, tried to refocus on being a simple servant around the castle, but when she could hear Anna laugh with her parents at the dinner table or when she heard the princess excitedly talk about the upcoming ball in honor of her presentation ceremony (even if said ball was still far off), she couldn't help the small ache that grew and grew as the days went by, and despite some of the other servants' best attempt to make her smile, life just wasn't the same anymore, and she still had to accept that. Servants just didn't marry princesses.
In the dullness her life as becoming, Oleg's arrival to the castle had brought a small brightness to her monotone routines. Oleg was Anna's older cousin, having taken his ill father's place as an emissary from one of the more northern castles to assist to Anna's coming of age ceremony, which was to be held in a few weeks. It was the talk around the castle, not a day would go by without Elsa hearing chatter about it, and even if she could no longer discuss it with her Master, a small part of her couldn't help but feel excitement at the upcoming feast it would be. Apparently nobles from as far as the Eastern Lands and the Southern Isles were said to be coming, and if she believed the gossip that went around, those were some handsome men indeed that would be presiding at the evening party that would take place after the official celebration.
All in all, Elsa really couldn't say that things weren't going well, but she was still feeling… rather lonely.
However in all that, Oleg was a blessing, though.
Anna's cousin had arrived just short of three weeks ago now, and with Elsa tasked to greet him properly, she had done her very best to make the castle guest (even if he was family) as accommodated and welcomed as possible. She hadn't expected him to take a sudden shining to her, but when one invitation for a stroll down-town had turned into a meet-up around a hot chocolate (apparently, a love for chocolate was something that run in the family, it would seem, not that Elsa minded all that much, chocolate was indeed a nice luxury) every three-days, Elsa's mood lightened up somewhat, and while in no way did the boy –man- compare to Anna, she could still see the same heart-warming qualities the two shared in him, and that wasn't even mentioning his freckled face and strawberry-blond hair. The two cousins had a really uncanny resemblance, which was often something she and Oleg had come to chuckle about together.
Yes, things weren't going too bad, considering the circumstances.
Anna, she had unfortunately not gotten to see much of. According to the servants, both of her parents had a lot to deal with regarding private family matters and had been requiring Anna daily for matters concerning the upcoming ceremony. Elsa felt sorry for the princess, being cooped up like that day after day with talk of politics and organization really couldn't be all that fun, could it? And while she'd tried several times to wait for the princess at the door of the familial study, Elsa had always felt like she'd been intruding on some private affair, and had eventually left, often heading off to find Oleg or share a cake with Kristoff, it really wasn't her business to listen in on private affairs regarding Anna's family, after all.
She tried to ignore the small ache in her chest when it would rear it's ugly head, reminding he how lonely life without Anna was, she knew it was not her place to decide the future of Arendelle's princess, nor was it her place to force the younger girl to come back to her, but when each day small little nothings would remind her of what she and Anna had so easily shared not even a month ago that now was something she could only dream of, adapting to reality was not something she was finding easy, despite Oleg and Kristoff's attempts to lighten up her days.
True, the chocolates and cakes the baker would offer them were indeed quite a nice treat, and watching Oleg gulp one snack after the other had Elsa wondering if the royal family was not victim of some odd medical condition regarding chocolate, as not only Elsa but also her parents and cousin seemed to have an uncanny fondness for the brown-colored treat. And while she enjoyed the sweet taste and the intricate designs carved into the small squares Kistoff would offer them, the blonde could never for the life of her understand the whole family's extreme fondness for it.
But she wasn't going to complain, not when a small bite would remind her of past days with Anna, whether it be an afternoon shopping or a few of the many hours they had spent down by the river side, just the two of them. Elsa had started coming to terms that somehow, those moments were over, and would be rare indeed once Anna took up her royal duty as next Queen, but because she wouldn't have them anymore didn't mean that she ought to forget them, and anything that helped her memorize the feel and joy those days had brought to her, Elsa tried to keep and cherish, as they helped her feel a little less alone in a world that seemed to have suddenly started moving on without her.
"Oh, well, nothing in particular." She lied, knowing she couldn't let Oleg into how she and his cousin had been a little closer than most would assume. The townspeople of Arendelle had never passed any comments when they had seen her and the princess side-by-side, actually, they'd always been quite cheerful when the princess would greet them with a "Hello!" or "Good morning!" but for some reason, she doubted Anna's cousin would take kindly to his relative (and next heir to the throne) having once been very close to another girl. Especially a slave girl, princesses just didn't mix with slaves, it wasn't normal. "You know… Just thinking." She tried to cover up, not wanting to bother him with he own personal problems when she ought to be seeing to his well-being, being a guest and all.
"About Anna?"
Elsa looked up sharply, how did he…? But catching onto the grin Oleg couldn't seem to suppress, she understood he meant no harm by his inquiry. Still, she had thought she'd done a pretty good job at avoiding Anna and displaying how their lack of relationship was hurting her, well, it seemed like she was wrong. The princess's cousin had been around not even a week and a few conversations between each other seemed to be all he needed to know what was up with her. Way to go Elsa, he's probably going to tell you to move on already.
"I-I don't-" She stuttered, suddenly wanting to find an excuse to her inability to put Anna in the past and focus on her servant job like she ought to, but when looking back up into his eyes again –a frightening similar color to those of the princess- Elsa was at a loss of what to say. Truth was, while Anna seemed to have been able to adapt to her new life as heir to the throne, Elsa wasn't finding it as easy to just forget what they had had, and while Kristoff was a blessing when he was willing to stand as a listening ear for her to pour her heart out to, the blonde knew such trivial affairs like having a crush on the princess were best left behind when Anna had told her they could not be together.
She'd been trying, she really had, and the lack of communication she'd had with Anna since that evening had helped, in a way, but it had also been feeding the emptiness in her soul, the part of her that somehow still needed the princess's comforting presence, and simply forgetting Anna and everything they'd shared together wasn't' as easy as Elsa would have liked.
"Hey." Elsa looked up, when she felt his hand on hers, closing gently around it in an attempt of support. "I know what it's like. I also thought I was in love once, with this girl who sprung out of nowhere. She was the most amazing person I'd ever seen back then, and we got together. We'd been eager, we shared what we had, and I thought we were in it to last… Until she left me, for another man." He trailed off, looking away, a bitter smile playing on his face at the hurtful reminiscence.
"I'm sorry-" Elsa tried to offer, knowing all too well what it was like to have the person you thought you loved unable to return your affections to you anymore, it would probably be easier for him to bear if he knew someone was there to support him too, company was the best thing one could have in time of heartbreak.
"It's alright." Oleg smiled, before returning to his story. "Anyway, after that, I spent a lot of my time moping around the castle, too tired to help around and unwilling to try to find any other girl ever again, as I'd thought she was the only one I would ever love. I let it fester and become my one obsession, I wasn't able to move on from my heartbreak, and by closing in on myself, I kept pushing away those who were there and trying to help me get over it.
Eventually, I understood I couldn't go on like that. I had to come to terms with the fact that what we had once had was over, and I had to move on. It wasn't easy, and her rejection still hurt from time to time, but I found something else to love, something to completely lose myself in, and that love made up for the one I had lost, it helped me rebuild myself and rebuild the love I held for my family, and things didn't turn out so bad in the end after all." He added, smiling sheepishly, the dimples forming on his cheeks similar to those that would appear on Anna's face when she used to smile at her. Truly, they both shared a striking resemblance, Elsa thought.
Oleg sighed. He understood what Elsa was feeling, but at the same time, how could he completely blame his cousin for what she had said? Anna was the princess, she was the one person who held Arendelle's future in her hands, and that future was one she could not share with Elsa if she hoped to build a family. It was cruel, it was unfair, but then again, being raised as a noble, he had understood from quite a young age that life wasn't fair even to the wealthiest, and that feelings and relationships very rarely had a say when it came to politics. The only thing he could do now was see to Anna having the best husband she could hope to find while attempting to soothe her servant's hurts, seen as how Anna's duties often prevented her from spending time around anyone really, at the moment.
He didn't know why exactly he felt compelled to help the smaller blonde, for it was nor his place nor his duty to do so, but something had pulled at his heartstrings when he had gotten the full story of what her life had been for the previous nine months, and he couldn't help but feel a little sad at the comprehension of what she was losing by Anna's coronation. She had been a victim of her environment, and his cousin had helped her put all that behind her, but the bond the two had created between each other along the road had not been something they had intended, and while Anna he could understand closing herself off, it still pained him to see the other half of the relationship left behind with not a soul there having enough time to help her pick up the pieces.
Oh Anna was hurting still, he could see it in her eyes when they would sit together at noble councils or when they would share dinner together, but the princess had learnt how to school her features, and the dedication with which she was seeing to the coronation ceremony was something he was happy for, it was giving Anna the opportunity to move on and rebuild herself again, it was letting her truly become the Queen she was someday destined to be. And while the hard lesson of duty being more important than the heart was not one easily accepted, the fact that Anna understood it and was trying to cope showed him that his cousin, despite her heartbreak, was still trying to see to the future of the kingdom.
Elsa he had only met on a few occasions, at first. She had been the servant who had taken in his belongings, and while Oleg knew it was not his place to talk and include the servants in conversations, he and his family had never really been one to abide to social conventions, and he had quickly found himself quite enjoying talking with the reserved blonde. Through gossip from the servants and talk around the town, he had learnt that she had been a gift to his cousin for her twentieth birthday, and that he two had gotten very close over the months following Elsa's arrival, if the word of the baker and tailor were to be taken for truths. The townspeople seemed to have taken a liking to her as much as they had taken a liking to the princess, and so he couldn't help but feel warm and welcoming to the blonde when he had first gotten a moment to introduce himself to her.
"And I'm sure that you'll be fine too." He winked, putting a reassuring hand on her shoulder. Elsa had never really been one for contact, as the previous years had certainly not offered her any caring touch from the many strangers she'd had the misfortune of meeting, but Oleg's sudden hold of her and how his strong hand seemed to almost envelop her whole shoulder, somehow, it made her feel a little safer, a little more like everything wasn't falling apart around her, a little more like she wasn't as a lone as she might have previously imagined herself to be.
And it was a great relief, to know she wasn't as a lone anymore.
"I-" Oleg's mouth curved around the sound, not knowing if he was going to ndtrude on something personal, but talk had been going about it around the castle, and truth be told, he was indeed curious about all these stories that went around about his cousin's serving girl. "Would you like me to help you with your powers? I know Anna has been very busy lately, but if you ever need someone… I can give you a hand, I guess." He said awkwardly, right hand coming up to scratch at his neck.
Elsa blinked.
She blinked several times.
Had Oleg said just what she thought he'd said? Had a total stranger actually offered to help her –someone he did not know in the slightest- help with something he ought to be afraid of? Was all Anna's family so unnaturally kind to those they just met or was this just some kind of joke?
"I-I'm still not too good at using them, Mylord." She tried to steer the conversation into another subject, knowing Oleg could spend his days doing much better things than helping a serving girl, like spending time with his extended family for example, surely he would be happier to spend time with the King and Queen (people he actually knew) than someone he wasn't even aware existed until a few weeks prior. "I wouldn't want to hurt you." She hastily added, knowing she did certainly not want a repeat of what had happened with Anna the first time the princess had encouraged her to try and freeze something.
True, Elsa could proudly say she'd gotten considerably better at wielding her powers since Anna had talked her into trying, but still, they were sometimes unpredictable, and while losing control with Anna was one thing, losing control and unintentionally hurting her cousin was something she would rather not risk. The princess hadn't been angry at her the first time, nor had she ever reported the incident to her parents (thank the Gods above), but what happened if she were to hit Oleg by accident? How would he react? What would prevent him from turning on her and viewing her as an abominable monster like so many had before? Elsa didn't think she'd be able for it, not after experiencing how nice he was being to her.
That was another thing she'd grown to learn of quickly, in the cruel world in which she'd been forced to grow up. Men had a hatred for anything they felt was different from them or did not know well enough, it was a fear they tried to hide by putting on a mask of hard, distorting once nice and kind smiles into vicious snarls, and the blonde had learnt the lesson that behind each kind face could also lurk a monster much too quickly, for one that age. While Elsa did not want to imagine Oleg capable of being as such too, her personal experience had her refraining from venturing any further into his request. He was being extremely nice to her, and she would rather not ruin what they shared if she could help it, even if she were to disappoint him in the process. Better disappoint him than hurt him.
Maybe one day, when she would at last be able to use them with total control, maybe then she would show her ability, to him and to the whole world, but not right now. It wouldn't be safe.
Oleg put up his hands, backing off before Elsa might think him intruding on a personal terrain of things she did not wish to share. After all, he was completely all right with her refusing, as, after all, this was her decision, he wasn't about to force her into something she did not wish to do, he'd been taught that nothing good ever came of acting as such anyway.
Elsa bit her lip when she saw the older man retreat, realizing that turning down his attempt to help her must have hurt him, and she inwardly cringed. Why do I keep turning people trying to help me away? It wasn't that she didn't want any help, it was just…
"Surely you would rather spend your time helping princess Anna plan the festivities for her ceremony, wouldn't you?" Anna was his family, after all, how could she fault him for wanting to spend time with her? Sure, it might hurt, seeing the princess's laughs and smiles, the ones she would once so freely give her, directed to someone else, but Oleg had a right to share in his family's happiness, didn't he? "She's your cousin, after all." She supplied, taking another small bite out of the chocolate cake on her plate. Oleg had already finished his ages ago, wolfing down the whole treat in less than a minute, which put even Anna to shame on her hungriest days.
"Oh I came for Anna but I'm certainly not about to put in my two cent for the ceremony, if I do Gods know Anna will never leave me alone!" Oleg laughed, "I love my cousin, but I don't know that I'd be able to put up with a hyperactive twenty year-old birthday ceremony planning enthusiast. No thank you, I'd much rather spend time getting to know the place and actually get to meet people, it's a lot less taxing." He winked, casually bringing an arm to rest on the back of his chair.
"Besides, that makes me free to help you along, if you need. Don't you want to give it a little try?" He nudged, the same excitement bubbling behind his eyes, so similar to his cousin's that Elsa just couldn't resist.
Elsa ducked her head, feeling she somehow needed to hide the small smile creeping onto her face. Bur she just couldn't help it, the past weeks had been so lonely despite the servants and Kristoff's best attempts to include her in their conversation. Something had just been missing, something she couldn't quite point out, and now that Oleg was offering it to her, Elsa could at last make the most of the impromptu enthusiasm Anna and her family seemed to be able to display for literally everything, and take the world as lightly as the princess had shown her to be capable of. The small weight slowly lifting itself off her shoulders was definitely helping too.
Sending a furtive glance around Kristoff's shop, making sure nobody was really paying any attention to the two of them (not that anybody was, too busy were they humming their contentment with Anna's friend's excellent baking), Elsa took a deep breath before trying to focus, like Anna had taught her to. Put any worries aside, just try to feel it. Was what she had said, and the princess's voice, although a memory, helped Elsa muster the cold feeling between her hands.
Had she not closed her eyes for concentration, she might have seen the other royal's amazed expression as he watched, wide-eyed as the small white color grew and grew, until Elsa let it go, sending the ice across the table and straight into Oleg's half-finished cookie, freezing it down to the core. Well, he probably won't be wanting to eat it after this… She thought, trying to muster an apologetic smile to the young man, but proud none the less, seeing how she had managed to limit the extent of the ice.
For some reason, it felt a lot easier when talking to people, as if it were something natural, akin to a second skin, a part of her Elsa could control with her brain like she moved her arms and legs, and seeing all of her progress pay off was definitely worth it when it was accompanied with Oleg smiling. That Anna had smiled after months and months of practice, in a way, she could understand, the princess had grown accustomed to Elsa being able to wield powers, but that a near stranger wasn't looking down on her ability, even when she had just clearly displayed that she couldn't entirely control it yet, that wasn't what she'd been excepting, and it warmed her to the core.
"Well!" He chuckled, "I must say, that's something indeed! I can get why my cousin told me so much about you in her letters, it's not every day one comes across such a rarity! That's really an amazing gift you have there!"
Gift.
Hearing it said by a stranger made it feel a little more real. For so long, Elsa had always been told that her powers were something unnatural, something she was cursed with and were something she ought to fear. Yet here was Oleg, someone she knew not six months ago, someone who knew nothing of her (for she had certainly not been willing to let him in on her past before being Anna's servant, not yet at least), accepting it as it were the most normal thing he'd ever seen.
And maybe it wasn't. It was a hard conclusion to come to, especially when trying to believe it often brought back voices of men and women who had looked down on her ability years back, but now that she had actually gotten help, gotten to see her powers in a different light, Elsa was slowly warming up to the idea that being an ice wielder maybe wasn't as bad as she'd thought it was.
It certainly had brought quite a few smiles, which was a massive improvement if she compared it to a year ago.
"I hope you'll be able to show me more, sometime." Oleg said, leaning in slightly, eyes locked on her white hands as if trying to spot where her powers took root (not that Elsa could tell herself).
He hadn't known what to expect when he'd heard about Anna's peculiar servant, even less so when word had gone about the castle that she could use magic, and he'd been a little apprehensive at the start, but when tracing a finger on the uneven trail of ice left on his plate, he really didn't see any harm in it. On the contrary, why anyone would fear such a thing was beyond him, as Elsa didn't seem to intend hurting anyone or use her powers against his family. And as long as the young blonde felt happy using them, he didn't see where the problem was. And if his uncle Agnarr had deemed her safe enough to bring into the castle, there definitely couldn't be anything to worry about, everyone knew how protective the King was of his daughter, if Elsa was dangerous, he would never have let her near the princess in the first place anyway.
No, Oleg thought, he definitely liked Elsa. It was a change from being around so many of the stuck up nobles he often had to put up with in the North during the many council sessions he was obligated to attend due to his Father's poor health, and he could definitely see where Anna had worked her magic on the other girl, traces of his cousin's personality which nobody else would have seen discernible in a few of Elsa's mannerisms like how the blonde seemed to have developed a fondness for chocolate, for example (definitely Anna's doing!)
He sighed, it was just such a pity his cousin was so busy. He'd barely gotten to share a few conversations with her, and they'd all been about the upcoming ceremony and how she was set to find a husband as soon as possible. Anna seemed excited about the prospects, often showing him letters signed by counts going by the names of Friedrich or Maximillian, totally engrossed with the fairy tale she could see playing in her head. However he'd be lying if he didn't say he hadn't noticed the discreet way Anna would sometimes look at Elsa from the shadows, when she thought nobody would catch her.
And being the smart young man he was, Oleg had started to piece together what had happened, feeling a little sorry for his cousin and her servant. He understood Anna's position, understood that it was expected of her to take a husband like every other noble young woman who turned twenty-one.
It just seemed a little unfair to him that Anna's enthusiasm for her royal future seemed to make her momentarily forget that she was maybe forgetting something very important while doing all of her planning.
