Learning to Fly

Thank you to my beta mxpi1970 who keeps me on track and provides much needed inspiration in times of need.

As always, all characters created and owned by Stephenie Meyer.

~xxXxx~

CHAPTER 12

CPOV

Rolling over, I laid thinking about what I needed to do. I had considered Edward and I going to talk to Esme, but, in truth, I thought it best if my ex wife and I spoke privately first. I knew that Esme wouldn't feel comfortable talking openly about our daughter in front of him. She had yet to speak to him since his break up with Lauren, and I felt that they needed to meet under better circumstances.

I would explain all of it to Edward when he woke; perhaps he could go and see Emmett today as not having a car was getting him down, despite my willingness to drive him. I understood his feeling of helplessness all too well: tomorrow morning was my meeting with the lawyers, and marked the start of my suspension.

Sensing I was awake, Edward turned over, nuzzling into my neck sleepily. My fingers found his hair, caressing the soft strands in a soothing gesture. He sighed, responding to the almost hypnotic action. I didn't want him to stress about tomorrow; there was nothing he could do now, we just had to wait this out. Hopefully, returning to work tomorrow would give him some focus, and distract him in a constructive way.

Not willing to leave the warm body next to me, I lay there for another half hour, planning exactly how I was going to broach the subject of Lauren's actions to Esme. At best, this wasn't going to be pleasant; at worst, this was going to be a huge shock.

Edward was suddenly awake, bolting upright and surprising me out of my deep reverie. His eyes were wide before he realised where he was.

"What's wrong?" My hand rested on his shoulder as I pulled myself up to face him.

"Nothing... nothing. I-I just..." I heard his dry throat click, and he closed his eyes tight for a moment before looking back at me. "I dreamed they took you away from me..." His voice was confused.

"Who? Who took me away?"

"The judge said we broke the law, and we were locked up. We weren't allowed to see each other."

I turned to face him fully, my face level with his.

"It was a nightmare, my love, just a nightmare. No one is taking me away from you, no one. If you ever decide that you want rid of me then you'll have to send me away yourself."

His eyes were fathomless as he gazed intently at me, his head tilted a fraction. His voice was soft as new fallen snow.

"Why would I ever do that?"

I felt exposed and vulnerable in that moment, my heart naked and raw in his hands as I spoke my fear aloud.

"Because one day you may decide you want more than I can give you, like a family of your own, for example."

The thought that he may one day leave me was ever present in the recesses of my mind. No matter how it happened, when I thought of my life without Edward it was a life of darkness and despair, an empty, aching chasm of loss.

He stroked my cheek, tilting my face to his, and whispered against my lips:

"Never; I will never stop wanting you. I dream about you even when you're lying next to me."

His lips brushed mine so tenderly that I melted into him, our lips merely toying with each other causing the blood to pound through my veins directly to my groin. He pulled away to look at me and I gasped at the loss of contact.

"You have to know, the way I feel about you..." He shook his head. "I didn't just make a conscious decision one day to date a guy; I'd never really thought about it. I just saw you one day and that was it. I don't love you despite you being a guy - I love you because you're Carlisle, the person who turned my life upside down and made it a thousand times better than I ever dreamed it could be. Carlisle - you are my family."

His face was so open, his eyes pleading for understanding. I pulled him into a tight embrace and just held him close, my morning stubble chafing his shoulder as he pressed reassuring kisses along my neck.

When he pulled back I kissed him lovingly.

"I'm going to go shave else I'm going to get you all scratched up."

He rubbed his own rough jaw, smiling ruefully. "Good idea. Call me when you're done."

Smiling, I swung my legs out of bed and padded over to the en suite, closing the door. I took care of business and washed up before completing my teeth cleaning and shaving routine. The door opened as I was rinsing the sink, Edward appearing in the doorway looking somewhat dishevelled. Seeing me patting my face dry, he grinned, cleaning his teeth before reaching for the shaving foam. I watched him work, enjoying the steady glide of steel against his razor sharp jaw as his face re-emerged from the foam. He smiled at my observation, his eyes drifting more than once to my semi-hard shaft.

"Eyes on the job, Edward!" He smirked and continued the rhythmic stroking of blade on skin.

He rinsed the razor and admired his work before drying off and rinsing the sink. Then he turned to me and I felt my breathing catch at the raw desire I saw burning in his darkened eyes. I fumbled for the shower switch and in seconds the shower room was filled with steam. I backed into the spray and Edward followed, closing the door behind him and leaning back against it casually. He watched the water sluicing down my body as I smoothed back my hair, intentionally displaying myself, offering myself to him. In a second he was in front of me, pinning me up against the tiles. His wet body pressed against mine, his erection sliding alongside my own as both pressed into my stomach, our urgency for each other blatantly apparent.

He pinned me in place with his blistering gaze, his mouth a whisper away from mine as he slowly ground his hips in an obscene and utterly intoxicating movement, the head of his cock dragging its way up my shaft until the swollen tip rubbed against my own. A long, low moan escaped my lips.

"Edward..."

As the hot spray beat down, he fisted my wet hair and slammed his mouth to mine in a kiss that flamed through my entire body like crackling fire. My tongue reached for his, craving union; when they met, the adrenalin jolt of desire that coursed through me made my stomach clench in anticipation of more. I held his ass firmly, rotating my hips to further entice him in this dance of desire. When he broke the kiss I was dizzy with need, each breath feeling as if it were being literally torn from my lungs.

His voice was rough, but adoring.

"Are you sore from last night?"

I shook my head, my chest heaving.

"A little, but not enough to say 'no' to you."

"I'll be gentle."

When he reached into the rack for the lube and a foil packet, I turned around and leant my forearms against the tile, bending to give him greater access. Expecting his fingers, I shuddered with pleasure when his tongue fluttered against my hole; his fingers gently spreading me open as he loved me with his mouth. Pleasure radiated out from my entrance as his warm tongue caressed the delicate flesh, relaxing the muscle to ease his way. It took no time at all before he was able to slide two wet fingers into me, scissoring gently until a third heavily lubed finger could finally join them. Soft moans filled the steamy room as he worked my muscles readying me for more, and when I felt the head of his beautiful cock press into me, so very slowly, I felt nothing but joy. When his balls were against my ass he stilled, his hand reaching around to grasp my straining erection as he planted heavy kisses and bites to my deltoids. My body jerked as he swept his thumb over my tip, and he released me to place both hands on my hips, gripping my wet skin tightly.

True to his word, he withdrew and re entered my body with slow, deliberate moves, barely more than a rocking motion at first, until he felt my body move in encouragement. I felt him increase his pace, moving a little more forcefully, pausing only once to drip more lube on to his shaft for my comfort. My orgasm started to coil in my stomach when Edward changed his angle of penetration a fraction; he now brushed my gland on each thrust and I was moaning repeatedly as his arms wound around my waist to pull me into a more upright pose. He kissed and bit along my neck, reaching up to twist my nipples as he surged in and out of my body and I felt my orgasm approaching fast like a juggernaut. I turned my head and, in between gasps, asked him for what I needed.

"Edward, my love, I want to come in your mouth."

He withdrew carefully and kissed me before kneeling, capturing my rearing cock in between his reddened lips. I thrust into his mouth and on into the opening of his throat; his green eyes locked with mine, the spray raining down on his upturned face as I exploded into his hot mouth, crying out his name in ecstasy. He licked me clean before the water could steal what was his, my legs almost buckling with the pleasure. He moved swiftly round behind me to hold my body in position, stroking my back tenderly as he positioned himself to re-enter me. This time it was purely for his own gratification, and I arched my back as he slid home, his balls slapping against my ass. He built a fast rhythm, and it was mere seconds before I felt him pulse inside me, filling the condom and screaming his release as his arms held me flush against his heat. When our bodies regretfully parted, I pulled him in for a series of slow kisses punctuated with soft murmurs of love and devotion.

~xxXxx~

As I sipped my coffee, I turned to Edward.

"I think it would be best if I go and speak to Esme alone today."

He threw me a questioning look over his bowl of granola.

"I need to have a long talk with her about all this and I honestly feel she will feel more comfortable if it's just the two of us at this point. Are you okay with that?" I looked at him searchingly.

He took a long swallow of coffee. "It's fine; I get it, I really do. I guess this isn't the best time for me to try and win her over." He smiled, a sad look in his eyes, and I felt his frustration. "It's okay; I'll give Emm a call, see if he's heard of any cars for me."

He reached for his cell as I rinsed out the breakfast dishes. I could only hear Edward's side of the conversation, but by the time he hung up he was smiling.

"Emm knows of a couple of good cars for me. He's gonna swing by in an hour."

I grinned. "What are the chances that one of them is a jeep?"

He rolled his eyes. "I think we both know the answer to that."

~xxXxx~

An hour later I was driving over to see Esme. I had no idea what I was going to say to her; our daughter had clearly tried to cover her tracks. I fervently hoped that she would come clean at last and be the grownup I so needed her to be right now. Pulling up outside, I killed the engine and sat back for a moment, gathering my thoughts. Acutely aware that Esme's neighbours might be watching, I made my way to the front door and knocked sharply. She appeared, looking slightly less polished than usual. Alarm bells started to ring.

"Carlisle, sweetheart! Come in, come in."

I followed her in and closed the door, hugging her in greeting before following her into the lounge room and taking a seat on the couch. She frowned as she sat down in her armchair.

"Is everything alright with you and Edward? You seem ... preoccupied."

I sighed. I knew then that she had no idea what was going on.

"Esme, darling, I'm guessing there's a lot going on that you aren't up to speed with." She pulled a face, her eyebrows rising.

"Such as?"

"Edward and I went to the bar Wednesday evening. Clearly only Edward was expected, as there was a girl there who tried very hard to seduce him. When I walked in, the girl said something totally unexpected. She said she didn't know it was me that Edward was dating; only that it was a man. It turned out that Lauren was there with friends and had tried to set Edward up to lure him away from me. It backfired on her as her friends now know who Edward is really dating. They were bullying her, Esme. I know she brought it on herself, but when we both confronted her outside, she eventually confessed that she hadn't slept with Edward – that it was all a lie. Not before claiming to be pregnant, of course; one last desperate attempt to win him back."

I saw the horrified look on Esme's face. I laughed humourlessly.

"Don't worry; she changed her mind quickly enough when I appeared and offered her a sonogram."

Esme was pale, her hands twisting agitatedly. I wasn't looking forward to the next part of this discussion.

"I thought we were all okay after that; that we could bury the past and move on. But unfortunately..." She looked up at me sharply.

"There's more? What more can she possibly have done, Carlisle? She has humiliated both herself and you. She has made me ashamed to be her mother. What more can there be?" Her voice was rising and I knew I had to tread carefully. I breathed deeply to steady myself before plunging onward.

"Edward and I went away for a couple of days after that. When we came home, Alice and Rosalie came over. Esme..." I fisted my hair, realising I was picking up on Edward's nervous habit. "Esme, Lauren had been to the hospital the day before the incident in the bar."

Before I could explain, Esme jumped in.

"The hospital? Is she okay? Why was she there? What aren't you telling me?"

I held up my hands in defence and she visibly calmed herself, her hands wavering over her knees as she breathed. I carried on talking.

"She's fine. It's what she did while she was there..." I started to explain the whole sorry tale, from the angry, misled patients to the homophobic backlash. She winced frequently as I recounted the facts as they stood. When I mentioned that the Chief was aware, she relaxed, sure that he would deal with the matter. That was when I handed her the newspaper articles, and she saw for herself just how far out of hand this situation had gotten. Her eyes widened with worry when she saw my picture, and she was silent as she read them both in their entirety. Looking up, her voice was faint, her face white as chalk.

"And all this is because of our daughter? Oh Carlisle..." I was shocked to see tears roll down her cheeks, her hands shaking as she smoothed the newspaper repeatedly across her knees, knowing full well just how badly she wanted to rip it to shreds.

"You never saw the papers did you? I knew it. When Alice told me about this, I wondered why there was no message from you on the answer machine or my cell."

"No; we haven't had the papers for nearly a week. I complained to the store about it. No one mentioned a thing to me. But you said you two had made up – I don't understand all this..." She wiped her eyes with the heels of her hands before plucking a tissue from the nearby box. I swallowed hard, feeling guilt riding heavy on my shoulders.

"Without speaking to her, our best guess is that she thought all this would blow over and we wouldn't find out. I can't imagine for a moment that she intended the papers to get a hold of this, can you? Edward has concluded that she wanted to embarrass us, to make us feel as humiliated as she does. It makes sense."

Sniffing delicately, Esme looked up.

"Why didn't you bring him today? This affects him too – you'll both be openly outed when this is all done. I know his name isn't mentioned directly in the papers, but still..."

I looked at her in surprise.

"I didn't think you'd be comfortable discussing private family business with him here; you two have no real relationship yet."

"All the more reason to bring him, Carlisle. And if you and he are serious, which I suspect you are, then he is family and we need to talk sooner rather than later, don't you think?"

I nodded sheepishly. As always, Esme's logic was impeccable and humbling. She had accepted Edward because he was with me and because she trusted my judgment. I felt rather embarrassed that I had suggested Edward not come. I have some apologising to do.

"He's going to stand alongside me during all this, even though it does mean outing himself at the same time. He says that all the important people in Seattle already know, and he will be speaking to his mother; it's a done deal. I am so proud of him. I didn't dare dream that he would do this for me."

Esme smiled warmly, but then her face fell.

"Carlisle, what's going to happen to you? Is your job secure? Can you continue to practice here in Seattle?" Her face was creased with worry.

"I have a meeting with the Chief and the hospital legal team tomorrow morning. They have all the paperwork that concerns Edward's care; there won't be a problem there. They anticipate a three day suspension while this is all sorted out, and a press call. The damage is to mine and the hospital's reputations. Mud sticks, and I may get patients refusing to let me treat them. There's also the matter of a lot of hospital staff looking at me in a whole new light." I sighed. I would never be comfortable with my private life on show. "It's going to be like living in a fishbowl; now I know how the fish in the aquarium feel."

"Pish!"

I looked up and saw her shaking her head at me.

"Carlisle, when all this is over, you will have Edward. Isn't that worth a little discomfort and embarrassment? What I want to know is whether you will be moving hospitals."

I took a deep breath.

"I don't plan to. Edward's work is here, and our friends and family. It isn't ideal, but we may have to muddle though and wait for the storm to pass."

"So what's happening while you are suspended? You must be lonely without Edward there."

"He goes back to work tomorrow anyway, so I won't be seeing much of him. But... he's going to stay on a few more days until the dust has settled."

"He's staying?"

"Just for the three days... what?!" She was trying and failing to hold in a smug grin.

"Nothing! Just thinking about how comfortable you two are living together. He's getting used to being there with you; it's like you've been together for months already."

I chuckled, the smile spreading over my face.

"I love having him there when I wake up, Esme, I can't deny it. But I'll adjust when he moves back home; I know he's keen to get back to his own place. He'd have the piano there if he could."

"What piano? Since when did you have a piano?"

"Since yesterday! It's for him to practice. He has such talent and nowhere to play, so I rented one for him."

Esme's eyebrows were in her hair, her eyes dancing.

"Oh, Carlisle, you do have it bad!"

I shook my head.

"You wait until you hear him. He will move you to tears."

She looked sceptical, as she always was where Edward Masen was concerned. She lapsed into silence; when she spoke again her voice was serious.

"I'm worried about Lauren."

"You're not alone there. She's banned from the hospital unless accompanied by one of us. The Chief was very clear on that point when we spoke on the phone. Her behaviour was deliberate and planned."

Esme sighed heavily.

"This is more than acting out. Something is very wrong; there has to be more to this than jealousy. She's been so quiet, so pale. When you mentioned her turning up at the hospital I immediately thought the worst. She hardly eats and her sleep pattern is erratic and patchy. I've asked her what's wrong, but she won't talk about it. Do you think she needs to talk to someone? Like a ... professional?" Her voice cracked.

"Maybe it would help. I can make some calls." My hand was in my hair again. "Our private lives are going to be completely blown open after this."

She gave me a sad smile.

~xxXxx~

THE FOLLOWING DAY

Walking through the hospital doors, I held my head high as I approached the elevator. A few people nodded at me as I passed, and I let out a sigh of relief as the doors closed without incident. Arriving at my floor, I felt the first prickle of apprehension as I stepped out into the ward, feeling the eyes of the room focusing on me as I walked calmly down the corridor, the chatter quietening as I passed. I smiled at Alice and Rosalie who gave me a subtle 'okay' sign as I headed to the Chief's office.

Knocking and waiting, I heard the 'Come in' and opened the door to voices within. The Chief was there along with a guy I wasn't familiar with. Must be the new guy. Stepping forward, he held out his hand to me, a confident, genuine smile on his face.

"Dr Cullen? I'm Jasper Whitlock."

I shook his hand, appraisingly. Smart suit (tailored, if I wasn't mistaken), crisp shirt, short, dark blond hair left a little longer on the top to emphasise the wave, and green eyes not unlike Edward's. I warmed to him immediately. It was clear in the way he swiftly and succinctly outlined the facts as they stood that he was very good at his job. There was the faintest hint of a Texan accent that I suspected would be a smash hit with the ladies in the hospital. I smiled to myself; overall Mr Whitlock was the whole package.

"We have reviewed all of the case notes for Mr Masen, and it is clear that you and he were not physician and patient. There is absolutely no evidenceto suggest malpractice, or indeed any kind of illegal activity. So, what now needs to be done is damage control both for the hospital's reputation and for yours, Dr Cullen."

I nodded.

"Is there anything you wish to add for the record?"

I looked him in the eye, not wanting there to be any misunderstanding.

"Only that Mr Masen and I are in a relationship that began prior to the accident that brought him into our ER. I'm sure that Edward would be happy to verify that if need be. When he was brought in immediately following the accident, I was terrified he might die. My good friends and colleagues Alice Brandon and Rosalie Hale kept me updated on his condition; I wasn't permitted to see him until after his surgery, much less treat him. I was just another worried relative praying for my partner's recovery."

If my openly admitting my orientation surprised him, he didn't show it. He jotted down a few words and looked up at me with a reassuring smile.

"Leave it to us, Doctor. By the way, how is Mr Masen doing?"

"He's well, thank you. All signs of concussion have disappeared and his wound has healed well. He started back at work today, in fact."

Whitlock nodded. "Good. Living with a doctor must've been a blessing for him."

I chuckled. "Getting him to relax during his recuperation wasn't – he isn't an easy patient. But don't be mistaken, he doesn't live with me. I asked him to stay when he was released from hospital so I could check on him more easily. He's staying on until this unpleasantness is resolved and then returning home to his own apartment; he's very independent."

I tried to keep the note of sadness out of my voice.

"Well, okay!" He shut his notes, decisively. "So, Doctor, I'll be in touch once I have this under control. Chief?"

I turned too; waiting for the official line I knew was coming.

"Carlisle, until this investigation is officially completed, you are formally suspended. The lawyers anticipate this taking around three days. You will be advised when you are able to return to work."

Interview over, I shook hands with Jasper Whitlock and the Chief, leaving the office to return to my quiet, empty house.

~xxXxx~

JPOV

That guy is a professional, right down to his polished shoes.

Reading the case notes for Mr Masen, it was immediately apparent that Dr Anders had been the only physician to treat him during his stay at Seattle General. No mention was made of Doctor Cullen in the entire detailed record. The nurses listed would be interviewed next and I fully expected them to verify that fact.

What a strange case. No evidence to point to malpractice. What on earth happened here? Such a waste of company time and hospital money.

Dr Cullen did not appear nervous or jumpy as was often the case. His information had been given frankly and honestly, no sign of insincerity. Good eye contact, clear voice, no anxious smoothing of clothes or fiddling with cuffs.

The way his eyes lit up when I asked about Edward; clearly a man very much in love.

I had been told that it was his own daughter who made the accusations against him, something I found particularly hard to swallow. No reason was given as to why she would make such claims, especially when they were blatantly untrue. They had however caused much consternation amongst the Board members.

Looking at my papers, I checked the ages; quite a gap. I smiled to myself.

How wonderful to find someone who makes you so obviously happy. Perhaps that was it: his daughter was jealous of Daddy having a young, handsome boyfriend.

I could see the attraction. Carlisle Cullen was a very attractive, charismatic man, and rather reminded me of a professor at law school. Mentally shaking myself, I looked down at the list of nurses' names on my pad. I opened the door to call my next member of staff and found a dark haired angel standing before me. She smiled shyly, and I enquired as to her name.

"Alice Brandon, sir." Her voice was lilting and musical and I beckoned her inside, trying hard not to stare at her in a way that was decidedly not professional.

She sat down in the empty chair, and I cleared my throat. I started to speak, absurdly uncomfortable, my collar feeling too tight, my jacket heavy and hot, my whole body feeling restricted and confined. I could feel her eyes watching me closely, seeing my discomfort.

"Good morning, Nurse Brandon, my name is Jasper Whitlock. I'm the lawyer for the malpractice accusations against Dr Cullen and Seattle General."

She nodded, her eyes luminous in her small face. I shook myself mentally and started asking my questions. She replied in that sweet voice, hesitating until I clarified that I was knew of the relationship between Mr Masen and Dr Cullen. Relaxing visibly, she answered my questions, telling me of Dr Cullen's hospital vigil after the accident and how he had slept in his office as he waited for news. She explained how she and Nurse Hale had arranged for Mr Masen to have a private room so that Dr Cullen could visit privately, away from prying eyes; how he had not left the hospital until he knew Mr Masen was out of danger.

Her devotion to the doctor was clear, and so I enquired as to their personal relationship. She told of their long friendship stretching back to when Dr Cullen had first transferred to the hospital from Forks with his long-term partner. She, Nurse Hale and another nurse, Alistair Byrne, had all socialised with them; more tellingly, she haltingly revealed how instrumental they had all been in supporting him when his partner passed away.

We talked a little more about his conduct, his patient record and whether he had any other complaints made against him during his time in Seattle. Nurse Brandon's demeanour turned rather frosty at what she interpreted as an inferred accusation. The Chief confirmed there had been no other incidents or complaints against the doctor during his time at Seattle General; his record was clean.

When I asked about his daughter, Lauren Cullen, who had allegedly started this whole inquiry by making allegations in a crowded public waiting area, I sensed a shift in mood from Nurse Brandon. She appeared both angry and a little sad. To me, the reasons for this outburst were unclear, and I questioned the nurse as to why she believed this girl would do such a thing. Her voice faltered as she showed signs of genuine distress; her tone, however, was icy.

"I don't want to discuss that. If you seriously need to know then I respectfully suggest you speak to Dr Cullen." My interest was piqued. The Chief looked surprised at Alice's tone, leading me to believe that this side of Nurse Brandon was not often shown.

"I'm sorry. May I just ask: is the reason relevant to this inquiry? If it is then I will need to know. What drives a daughter to do this to her father?"

Her pretty face crumpled and she shook her head. "I can't discuss that. I was told in confidence. Please talk to Dr Cullen if you must. It's not something he wants the world to know about. It's too personal."

She looked to the Chief who spoke kindly.

"It's alright, Alice. I understand your position. I will speak to Carlisle myself."

He turned to me.

"Is that acceptable, Jasper? If it is relevant then I will pass on the information."

"Yes, of course. Thank you."

I turned to Nurse Brandon, Alice, and held out my hand.

"Thank you for your time."

She shook my proffered hand tentatively, blushing at my smile and holding my hand a little longer than strictly necessary. I looked down before meeting her eyes again, feeling like a schoolboy with his first crush. Finally releasing her hand, I cleared my throat.

"Could you send in Nurse Hale?"

~xxXxx~