Dudley on the other hand did call foul, and used quite a bit of inappropriate language (bringing into question the teacher's heritage) to do it. In reparation for his linguistic indiscretion, he and the entire class were subjected to a long lecture on the various mathematical dynamics of the Laws of Probability and how they applied to the fairness of the teacher's method of drawing names, and how that differentiated from the odds that Dudley would have homework every night for the foreseeable future.

In a voluminous cloud of chalk dust and flying bits, Mr. Nathraichean furiously wrote a long string of complicated mathematical formulas on the board. It was all to demonstrate to the class why the chance of drawing Dudley's name was exactly the same each time it was drawn (one over twenty-two or four point five percent) versus the likelihood of homework (twenty-two to one in favour or one hundred percent). By the time he was done, Harry bet that not even Dudley would care why it happened anymore if the teacher would only stop with the squeaky chalk.

Severus collared Dudley in the hall as he was trying to slip out unnoticed after the final bell rang. Hauling him back into the classroom, Severus unceremoniously deposited him on his bum in front of the blackboard and then handed him a fresh piece of chalk.

"Were you not paying attention?" he asked in no uncertain terms.

Dudley refused to answer. He knew the teacher was angry and he was in for it, but he was hungry and his hunger made him not care a whit. Foolishly he decided to adopt the same belligerent attitude that had served him well with all the previous teachers, sans Auntie Lily and Uncle Remmy that is, but as this teacher wasn't one of 'that lot' he should be easier to manipulate. So he thought…

"Very well, I shall clarify for you once and for all the difference between probability and odds: the probability of you of getting away with acting up in my class is exactly nil. Said probability equating to the number of chances for such an eventuality, divided by the total number of opportunities. Whereas, the odds of you being penalized for attempting to do so, is one hundred percent, those odds being calculated thusly: the number of chances of myself being successful in coercing you to do as I will, in a direct relationship to the number of chances of yourself being successful of doing the opposite. Only an ignoramus would continually bet against the house."

Dudley glared petulantly and thrust out his chin.

"Are you an ignoramus Mister Dursley?"

Dudley balled his fists and started to stomp his feet, but with one long piercing look from the teacher he uncharacteristically froze just as his tantrum was starting to rev up, one foot hovering in the air and his mouth hanging open in a big silent 'O'.

"That's better. Now write 'I will refrain from aiming pot-shots at my teacher.' one hundred times should suffice, and then you may go."

Dudley abruptly turned and began writing on the board with a glazed look in his eyes.

Harry was amazed. He had never seen Dudley stop a tantrum in mid-stream like that before, and he wondered idly if it would give his cousin whip-flash.

"What are you still doing here Mister…'Krueger'?"

Harry was startled out of his thoughts when he heard the teacher address him.

"Er… I'm supposed to walk home with my cousin," he explained quickly glancing at the other boy who was hurriedly scrawling illegible sentences crookedly on the board as if possessed. Harry had actually hoped to check on the egg before leaving it for the night. Only Dudley's presence was inconveniently preventing that for the moment. Only Dudley being here did make for a somewhat plausible excuse for hanging around for a while until an opportunity presented itself.

Severus wasn't buying it. Nor was he buying Dudley's repentant act, as he knew the modified 'Confundus' charm he had used wasn't that strong. It would only have lasted a minute at best - just long enough to prevent Dursley's caterwauling, and to 'encourage' him to start writing on the board, but not long enough to force him to do it. It also wasn't long enough to alert the Ministry of Magic that someone had used a banned spell, or to allow for tracing back to its origin - if perchance an alert employee should happen to notice. Not that (in Severus' opinion), the Ministry employed any such alert individuals.

In fact, from the angle that Severus was watching, he knew that Dursley was now acting on his own volition. Proof being that after the seventh line what Dudley wrote looked a whole lot more like 'I won't refrain' than 'I will'…. Oh well, small victories are sometimes the best you get. At least this way he could guarantee that the reckless little marksman was writing the lines himself and not having his mummy doing it for him.

Refusing to let his 'good mood' be ruined, Severus decided to continue ignoring the rebellious act in the front of the room for now in favour of passing the time with a little 'Potter Baiting'. It would be a pleasant diversion from watching Dursley mangle the English language with his abominable penmanship, and teach Potter a lesson at the same time - he should not have decided to stay behind uninvited to keep his irksome cousin company.

"Do you suffer from topographagnosia?"

"What?"

"Let me rephrase: Do you lack orientation skills?"

"Huh?"

Dudley snickered in the background.

"Do you get lost easily?" Severus asked patiently for the third time.

"Er… no… it's just that the Krueger's don't like me to be outside by myself." Said out loud like that it made it sound as if they were treating him like a baby.

"Ah… untrustworthy then."

"No! It's just that… it's just…" How was he to explain about the Death Eater threat without explaining about Death Eaters? Uncle Siri had told him that when he didn't know how to answer a question that he liked to confuse the issue by replying with true but irrelevant facts. Maybe that tactic would work for him too. "… they – uh… the Kruegers that is, well they want us… that is Dudley and me to... er… spend more time together."

"To what end?"

"Er… theywantustobecomefriends." Harry said the words as fast as he could to get them out of his mouth before he choked on them.

Dudley outright chortled with glee this time.

"And how is that working out for you?" Severus asked with raised eyebrows.

"Not so good really..." Harry admitted miserably.

"Then be off. I have squandered quite enough time on you for one day and now you are being a nuisance and disturbing Mister Dursley's concentration. That is of no use to me."

Dudley glanced over his shoulder and when he saw his cousin flush red at the teacher's remark, he started laughing uncontrollably.

"Back to work Mister Dursley," Severus snarled, turning Dudley's guffaws into sniggers.

"But – what about…" Harry nodded his head towards the teacher's desk, trying to get his meaning across without mentioning the egg in front of his cousin. He certainly didn't want to remind Dudley of the 'project' or of one more reason for him to be mad. Despite the enjoyment Dudley was having at his expense right now, his cousin would still find a way later to make him pay for today's one-upmanship. However, as Dudley was also in the direction of the head nod – Harry's message was neither loud, nor clear.

"Your escort? I'm afraid you will have to 'make nice' with your cousin on your own time. Do you not have any other 'friends' on whom you can foist your companionship?" Severus asked smoothly, purposely pretending to misunderstand, and then denying to himself that he felt guilty about it when he saw the boy's distress. Once he scraped off all the warm fuzzy feelings that were beginning to grow on his heart like mould, he would feel like his old snarky guilt free self again. He was sure of it.

"... no … I don't." Harry said softly, trying to keep the hurt out of his voice.

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Dudley dropped his chalk and grabbed his sides as he burst out laughing. This was just too funny, and well worth the price of admittance. The look on his cousin's freaky face as the teacher put him in his place was priceless!

"And what do you find so amusing Mister Dursley? I fail to see where you have anything to laugh at as you now owe me another one hundred lines."

"But I'm on the last line and my hand hurts!" Dudley whined pitifully.

"No you are not. Your first one hundred is substandard. You misspelt a key word." Severus said critically pointing at the offending word 'won't' with a long finger before wiping through the sentences with the eraser to clear the board. "Start over," he ordered.

"But Harry's right! If I don't walk him home I'll get into trouble too and that's not fair 'cause then they won't give me any dinner and I'm reeeeeally huuuuuungry!" Dudley whined louder, squeezing out a tear. He was not a bit ashamed to use examples of Harry's experiences on Privet Drive as his own when it suited his purpose.

"Too bad." Severus said firmly handing him a fresh piece of chalk.

"No - too late!" Dudley cackled, catching a glimpse of his aunt and uncle out the window.

"Explain yourself Mister Dursley."

Dudley grinned, fake tears drying up as he pointed out the window to the playground. "They're coming! Boy-o-boy Mr. Nathraichean you're in for it now! They look maaaaad!"

"Who is coming? Do you mean Mr. and Mrs. ...'Krueger'?" Severus sneered, and then winced when Dudley surprised him by nodding his head in agreement. Blast it all! On one hand, he had had it for today and had no intention of facing down Mr. Neglectful-at-best and Mrs. Nasty-Note-Writer when he was not at his best, therefore, he must stop the Kruegers from coming somehow. Letting Dudley go was an option, but on the other hand, he also did not intend to let Mister Dursley off the hook now that he had him in his clutches. He must have his own way! Anything less was not tolerable … but how?

'Think Severus! Think! You are not the most experience spy in the whole of Wizardom for naught. To be trapped like this, by a pair of muggle parents no less, is simply not acceptable!' Severus swiftly came up with a plan to have his peace and Dudley too. "Mister Dursley, you will continue writing - silently, while you Mister…'Krueger' scamper away post haste and intercept your ill-timed wardens before they reach this room."

"But Mr. Nathraichean, I think Mrs. Krueger wants to …" Harry tried to remind him that his mummy still wanted to talk with him, but Severus held up a hand to silence him.

"Ah-ah, Mister…'Krueger' this assignment is not negotiable. The facts are as follows: you insist on an escort to your domicile, and your cousin is not available. Hence, you will convince the approaching pair to perform that task with you, and you alone. You will do so without engaging me - or your otherwise occupied cousin, in the endeavour."

"But Mrs. Krueger really wants to talk to you Mr. Nathraichean! I don't think I can stop her from coming here!" Harry didn't like being in this position AT ALL! He couldn't think of anyone more stubborn than his mummy - except for maybe his teacher.

"Failure to complete your mission as assigned will mean forfeiture of 'the project' to Mister Dursley." Satisfied that the threat would achieve the desired results, Severus paused to see if the implication sank in. It did… and fast.

"Noooooo! You can't!" Harry wailed.

"I can, and I will. It is your choice."

Harry didn't have to think twice. Grabbing his book bag, he flew out the room, his feet barely touching the floor.

"My, my, you'd think he was in a hurry to get somewhere." Severus mused out loud and started towards the window to watch Potter do his bidding.

"Yeah… freaks. But what ya gonna do about em'? They're everywhere these days." Dudley agreed wholeheartedly under his breath before returning to writing his sentences. 'Now where was I again? Oh yeah… I will have better aim when taking pot-shots at my teacher.'

Severus' sharp ears picked up Dudley's remark and it stopped him dead in his tracks. What did the boy mean by that – freaks being everywhere? It was a curious thing to say. The fates being mischievous, his turning around at that very moment caused him to miss Harry's reunion with James and Lily on the playground. In its place, he got the joy of seeing Dudley's latest creative writing attempt. It made him grimace.

In Harry's quest to stop the Kruegers before they made it into the building, he nearly ploughed down his former babysitter, Arabella Figg, in the hallway without even recognizing her. As it was, he left her sitting in a swirl of books and house slippers and wondering how a whirlwind got inside the school when the doors had been closed.

Lily was overjoyed when she saw her little boy rushing to greet them with such enthusiasm. Harry was finally happy to see them! The grey skies that had dampened her mood for much of the day suddenly seemed less gloomy and oppressive, making it possible for her heart to beat again. She halfway wondered what miraculous event had changed his attitude since they parted that morning, but decided that in the long run she didn't want to question it. The last time she had tempted fate like that, it had just put a bigger wedge in their relationship. Whatever happened she was grateful for it as she opened her arms to envelope him in a big hug. Her elation was short lived when he skidded to a breathless stop a few feet in front of her and then politely shook one of her outstretched hands.

So close! When James saw Lily's eyes turn as wet and cloudy as the skies above he had the urge to shake Harry and demand for him to give his mummy a spontaneous hug.

"So where's Dudley?" James asked his voice unnaturally rough.

When Harry saw the disappointed look in his parent's eyes he figured Dudley had been right – they were mad! Experience had taught him that when anyone was mad, it was normally at him. In addition, when someone was mad at him, it always benefitted him to apologize quickly for anything that he could think of that might have possibly caused it.

"I'm sorry, he got into trouble, and it was all my fault…" Harry may have been babbling but he still obviously believed what he was saying, making James and Lily wince over his self-deprecating remark. They both knew Dudley could get himself into trouble just fine, without any help at all from Harry. When incredulous looked replaced the disappointed ones on the Krueger's faces, Harry hurried to explain.

"I… uh... I guess I cheated or something in class today… well I really didn't but Dudley thought I did… anyway he sassed the teacher because of it and now he has to stay after and write lines. I was going to wait for him… you know - because you told me I had to. Only Dudley saw you coming through the window, so Mr. Nathraichean he said to tell you to take me home. Because I'm a nuisance and distracting Dudley, so he had to start all over again. So we better go right now before I make it any worse!"

Harry grabbed James' hand and started pulling him in the opposite direction of the school. As James let himself be led away from the school grounds, he sent Lily a backwards glance as if to ask 'but what do we do about Dudley?' Lily grinned in return and just said one word 'Remus'. James had taken a rare afternoon off work hoping that he and Lily would be able to find a way to have a few moments alone with Harry to break the news about the new baby, but they hadn't expected such a perfect opportunity. Now all they had to do was convince Remus to unbar his door long enough to go get Dudley.

When they got to the flat, Mr. Krueger disappeared downstairs. Except that he was only gone long enough for Harry to stash his book bag and grab a biscuit before he came back up and announced they were taking him out to tell him some news in private. That worried Harry… immensely. They had been adamant for weeks that he needed to stay inside, and now they were going out when they didn't need too? What could they want to tell him that they couldn't where they were, and why weren't they bringing Holly?

Each night, after the Kruegers tucked the boys in and turned off the lights, Dudley had made the remark that they all must love him more than Harry because every one of them made a special point of tucking him in several times, but they only tucked Harry in once. Harry had tried to ignore it, but when he realized they were walking in the direction of Number Four Privet Drive, he figured Dudley had been right about that too. His mind went racing – the Dursleys must have returned from their holiday and now the Kruegers were taking him back! Harry tried to hang back, only as they were walking one on either side of him, and both had a firm grasp of one of his hands, they had him trapped.

When he started to drag his feet and refused to walk to his doom, the Kruegers just lifted him off his feet by raising his arms above his head and swinging him between them as if he were an Easter basket. If Harry hadn't been so sick to his stomach with worry, he might have noticed it was fun. It wasn't until they turned into the play park, instead of heading on down Wisteria Drive that Harry realized they weren't going to the Dursleys. At least not yet, he told himself. They were probably just stopping there first to tell him what a bad little boy he was and how he had failed to develop any potential. He didn't even have the egg any longer to prove he was still trying! He supposed he should be grateful that they weren't going to yell at him in front of Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon. Those two didn't need any more reason to think poorly of him.

"Why are we stopping here?" Harry asked fatefully as they put him down, determined to just get it over with.

"Don't you like the park? I thought you did, but we could go somewhere else if you want." Lily offered, troubled that Harry wasn't looking like he wanted to be there. She hoped it was just the venue they chose and not the company.

"I do like the park. It was just that… that I thought maybe Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon were back and we were going to Privet Drive." There he said it. Out loud, even.

"No sweetie, they are still on… um… Holiday."

"But they're going to be back later today?" Harry persisted.

"Well about that… you see they need help to come home, but they don't want ours."

"So… Dudley is staying forever?"

"Why don't we all go sit down and talk about it? Your mum needs to get off her feet." James said leading the way over the rain soaked grass to a bench by the swings.

Once settled, with Harry cosily between them, James cast a few spells to keep them dry and to protect them from being noticed or overheard. "Now to answer your question – that is a definite no. Dudley will not be staying forever. I guarantee it. Your aunt and uncle may not want our help getting back from Holiday, but don't you worry – your godfathers and I have come up with a plan and they should be back by this weekend."

"You mean by Easter?"

"Well… we hope so," Lily assured him. She could have kicked herself for not realizing sooner that Harry would have been worried about Petunia and Vernon absence too. After all, they had raised him, so he was bound to have some feelings towards them.

"If we're really lucky, they might be back even sooner!" James added.

Harry didn't think that would be lucky at all.

"But they aren't who we wanted to talk to you about."

"They aren't?"

"No, you see after getting to know you these past three months…" James loped his arm over Harry's shoulder and gave him a conspiratorial wink "…your mum and I decided we kind of liked the thought of having another child around. So we decided to get one."

"You mean Dudley?"

"No, not Dudley - can we just forget about Dudley for a minute?" James was a bit exasperated over his son's one-track mind. "We mean someone like you - only smaller."

"You mean Holly?"

"No, not Holly - Holly is already here. We mean a baby."

"Holly's a baby."

"We mean another baby, one that's ah… not quite born yet."

"You mean the egg?"

"No, but you're getting closer. We mean a real baby, a human one that is. Your mum and I decided to make one." James grinned and wiggled his eyebrows at Lily. Ha! All done, and Lily thought he would blow it.

"How do you do that?" Harry asked curiously. He had always wondered about that. He'd heard kids talking on the playground and there were all sorts of theories. The one they voted had the most credibility (because it was the most boring, and most adult things were boring) had to do with a lady who wanted to be a mother cooking eggs for the man she wanted to be the father, and then the man going up north somewhere on a fishing trip. Only that didn't make sense to Harry. Aunt Petunia never cooked and Uncle Vernon never went on fishing trips, and yet they had Dudley. Maybe they only did that once, and not wanting any more Dudleys, was why Aunt Petunia refused to cook now.

James turned pink. This seemed like such a good idea a minute ago, but now he wasn't sure if he was ready for 'the talk'. Feeling the bench vibrating under him he glanced over to see Lily silently laughing at him. James turned red. Great...

"Why don't you take it from here Lily?"

"No… no…" Lily gasped trying to catch her breath in between bouts of uncontrollable laughter. "You go on, you're doing so well."

"Er… well son… you see that happens when a man… that is when he … uh… that is when a woman… ah… what I'm trying to say is that… Lily… please! Help me out here?"

Lily finally nodded after a few more gasps of laughter, and brushed the tears out of her eyes. Turning to Harry, she said simply "When a man and a woman love each other so much that they have more love than what two bodies can contain, it makes a baby. Your daddy and I have that much love. Do you understand?"

"I think so - you mean you're preggers," he said bluntly.

Harry used the same slang word James had used when Lily told him – the one that Lily had objected to - strenuously. Therefore, her shock on hearing it come from Harry made James break out in laughter. Harry wasn't sure why what he said was all that funny.

"I prefer calling it 'with child'," Mrs. Krueger corrected loftily. "But yes your daddy and I are going to have another baby."

"When? This weekend?" He asked tentatively, not wanting them to laugh at him again.

"Oh heavens no," Lily assured him patting her stomach. "I'm not nearly that far along. The baby needs to grow inside me for nine months before it's ready to come out into the world, and it's only been in there about one. It won't come until late this next winter."

"Oh." Harry got quiet. That meant he would probably never see the baby, even if they came to visit at Privet Drive. The Dursleys preferred he stay in his cupboard when they had guests. They were always fretting he would do or say something freaky when other people were about, and said they couldn't trust him to act like a normal person.

Lily looked at her quiet little boy and wondered what was going through his mind. There were so many emotions flashing over his face that she couldn't keep up.

"Aren't you happy for us?" she asked softly giving him a nudge with her knee.

"Er… sure I am." Harry agreed dismally, but inwardly he was anything but happy. "Are you going to have a girl or a boy?" He felt heartsick, but he just had to ask. That was the only thing that might make this all right in his book – if at least they weren't planning on a new baby boy to replace him entirely, as he accidentally overheard them planning to do the week before. A girl would be okay, but a boy? That would be too much to bear.

"We'll be happy with either one." Lily replied confidently.

"I want a boy." James declared vehemently at the same time.

Lily threw the patented Evan's death-ray glare at him over Harry's head.

"Uh... right… (ahem)… obviously what I said was wrong son, very…very wrong." James admitted clearing his throat.

"Really? Do you think so?" Lily raised her eyebrows at the understatement.

"Right-o again. What I meant to say Son was exactly what your mum said – we will be deliriously happy with either. We just want him to be born a healthy happy baby boy. But whether he is a boy or a girl? It doesn't matter to us at all. Not at bit. A boy will do just fine. Right muffin? Ah… honeydew? Er… cupcake? Uh… sweetie-pie?" James cajoled. There was no response whatsoever other than another blinding glare.

While Harry was wondering if Mr. Krueger was calling Mrs. Krueger food names because was he hungry, James was looking hopefully at Lily for approval. He couldn't be sure but he thought she had turned down the wattage on glare just a tad. He could live with that. So – YAY him! He must have finally said something right! Best quit while he was ahead. Grabbing Harry, he let out a joyous whoop as he swung his startled son head first over his shoulder, and hanging onto his legs, galloped for the swings.

Gods it was great to be him!

By the time, that James had finished playing and that Lily managed to pull him away from the playground equipment, it was dusk. He was just like a big kid - running like a maniac from the swings to the jungle gym to the monkey bars to the slide and back again. He even pushed her on the merry-go-round until she was giggling like a nine-year-old herself. They were drenched to the bone from the drizzly rain when they arrived back at the flat, but they didn't care. They were so much in love, and loved so much, that nothing could dampen their celebration.

Too bad they didn't notice Harry hadn't had nearly as much fun as they had.

He pretended well however, smiling when appropriate, and tossing in a token giggle or two while he helped Mr. Krueger to push Mrs. Krueger until she was dizzy. He even outran Mr. Krueger in a foot race, causing Mr. Krueger to chase him until he caught him, and once again toss him head first over his shoulder and run around in circles until he cried 'Bogart'. Nope, he didn't have any fun at all he told himself – it was all play-acting.

Was it any wonder they didn't notice with acting that good?

Lily thought they had made progress showing Harry how very much they loved and wanted him, during their special outing. Watching her two boys as they dangled side-by-side and upside-down by their knees on the monkey bars, she sent a prayer of thanks on the chilly wind to the elusive Mr. Nathraichean. She was eternally grateful to him for giving them this opportunity, even though it was by happenstance.

She was elated when Harry started to come out of his shell as James' playful behaviour drew him out. Several times, she caught a glimpse of Harry shy smile, and his giggle was music to her ears. Lily chuckled to herself as she decided being able to change from a responsible grownup to a childlike persona at a drop of a hat must be just another of her husband's hitherto hidden animagus abilities.

To try and extend that feeling for a while, they made a promise to keep the happy news about the new baby to themselves for a while. She thought maybe sharing a wonderful and special secret with just them, would help Harry feel closer. Except that while they had sworn not to say anything about the baby for a few months, she hadn't expected Harry to say nothing at all to anyone at all once they got home. Nevertheless, all through dinner Harry was his usual quiet melt-into-the-woodwork self, but what was even more unusual was that Dudley was acting the same. That is… until Sirius prodded a sore subject and opened up the floodgates of denial.

"So Dudster – tell me, just what did you do today that ticked off your teacher so much?" Sirius asked waving a fork at the blond boy.

"Why'd you think it was me? Maybe it was him!" Dudley shot back and pointed at Harry.

"Do you actually need a list? Okay then…" Sirius started counting them off on his fingers. "Let's see, one - means, two - motive, three - opportunity, and four - a significant lack of evidence to the contrary. Besides, that was what Harry told James when he…"

Harry sighed and tuned out the conversation, and concentrated on making nice straight lines with the peas on his plate – four up and four across. Then he used celery sticks to connect the dots, and olives and cherry tomatoes for the tic-tac-toe playing pieces. What else anyone said really didn't matter as Uncle Siri had already very considerately reminded Dudley that payback was due and that he was the target. Thanks Uncle Siri.

From her high chair, Holly watched her big brother playing with his food. The intricate vegetable game board he was building fascinated her, and she wanted to play too. Except that all she had on her tray was smashed nanas and some green gunk that smelled funny, nothing fun like 'Ry had at all. She especially liked the little bright red balls. She had a ball that colour in her crib. Those should be hers too! Splat! She patted the nanas with the flat of her hand (just to be sure that there was nothing hiding in it). Plop! The green gunk easily went over the edge of her highchair tray to make room.

'…coo! ... 'ry? …coo!... ba goo?...' Holly gurgled prettily to try and get Harry's attention.

"Shut it pipsqueak! I'm talking!" Dudley yelled at her for interrupting and then whirled back to attack Sirius with a verbal assault. "Like I was saying - you're not the boss of me! SO JUST WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TRYING TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO!"

'…ga ga! ... coo… PA-FOO!' Holly answered the question for him. Then reaching over she launched a bright red cherry tomato off from Harry's plate and right into Dudley's open mouth – effectively shutting him up.

Dudley abruptly sat down, and may have choked if Harry hadn't reached over and whacked him neatly on the back without even thinking about it, dislodging the well-aimed veggie missile as if he had had lots of practice doing so. Considering how fast Dudley normally inhaled his food, this was in fact the truth.

"OH MY GODS! What did she say?" At the sound of his name, Sirius' attention had immediately diverted from his petulant charge onto his precocious goddaughter.

'… PA-FOO!'

"That's my girl!" Sirius beamed proudly and slapped a highly annoyed James on the back. "Did you hear Prongs? Did you? She said Pa-foo! She said it! She did! Too bad Moony missed it, but she said it twice, maybe she'll say it again… c'mon say Pa-Foo… c'mon…!" While Sirius made a fuss over Holly and her new word, totally ignoring Dudley's attempt to get his attention back by holding his breath, James wandered out of the kitchen alone with a miniature thundercloud floating over his head. It didn't take long until someone else joined him in the living room on the big comfy couch.

"She said Pa-foo. She MY baby girl, not his, and yet MY daughter said Pa-foo first."

"I heard."

"Why not dada? Huh? Why not? That's even easier if you ask me. Just one 'da' repeated. Merlin, I would have been happy with just a 'da'."

"I'd be happy with just a dad."

"Huh?" James pulled out of his gloomy funk finally to notice who was sitting beside him.

"I want to go home. Nobody here likes me." Dudley announced staring dully into space.

"Uh… that's not true Dudley… er… we all like… well that is, your Aunt Lily loves you very much. I know she does."

"She's the only one. Everybody else keeps picking on me."

James couldn't deny that and not lie. They had been a tad vengeful towards him. He himself hadn't even wanted him here in the first place, and had been ready to kick him out on a daily basis. Only Lily's intervention kept him from doing it.

"You're not saying anything Uncle James. This is when you're supposed to say 'Oh Dudley you poor misunderstood boy. We'll go shopping first thing tomorrow and buy you a boot load full of new toys to make up for it. You can even skip school and we'll make a day of it, and have ices and go to the cinema'."

"But why would I say all that?" James asked slightly amused.

"Because that's what my mum and dad always say."

"They do? Every time?"

"Yup, at least my mum does, dad just pulls out his wallet." Dudley shoulders sagged. "It wasn't what I really wanted though." he sighed with a lingering unmet need in his voice.

James looked at the boy out of the corner of his eye. Dudley wasn't throwing a tantrum, or yelling, or being a smartass. He was just being a very genuine, very lonely, and very sad little boy. It made James realize how low the Marauders had been acting. Even though Dudley may have deserved it for how he had treated Harry in the past – did he really know any better? He was still a child, and adults' ganging up on a child is never fair. James was ashamed to realize he had been just as big a bully to Dudley as Dudley had been to Harry, and he certainly hadn't prevented Sirius from following suit. With sterling examples like that to follow, was it any wonder Dudley was still being a Dudley?

He remembered once his own father visiting him at Hogwarts, after one particularly spectacular prank he and Sirius had pulled off. That time, his father had come in person instead sending his normal howler. Yet he didn't take him to task as he had expected. With disappointment in his eyes, he had only asked James one question. What was it he had done wrong as his father? James had been shocked.

When James claimed he hadn't done anything wrong and that he was a great dad. His father pointed out that all children learn how to behave by the examples set for them by people they looked up to the most. That left only two choices for other people to think, when he pulled stunts like one the one he had: either he had set a bad for his son to follow, or that his son did not look up to and respect him. Then he brokenheartedly asked James which it had been. James never wanted another conversation like that one, and vowed then and there to never let his father down like that again. Sadly, he thought that if his dad were there today he would see that same look now.

"What did you want then, if not a boot load of new toys?" James asked curiously, wondering if he had totally misjudged his nephew.

"Sometimes we went to the shore for a weekend and I'd have them all to myself. But Mum wouldn't let us stay away long enough for a real Holiday because of Harry. Dad told me once if it weren't for him having to come too, he would have taken me on a real camping trip. I would have liked to have gone camping." Dudley said wistfully.

"Surely, Vernon did things other things with you all the time though?"

"Not really, not just us – he didn't want to leave mum to deal with the fr… er… with Harry by herself. Mum takes me places but it just not the same as Dad. Besides, all Mum really likes to do is to go shopping. So we go shopping A LOT."

"Shopping huh?" They both shuddered in sync at the thought of the endless hours of 'poking about at nothing' that some women seemed to like to call 'shopping'. When if you asked any reasonable man they could tell you that the real art in shopping was seeing how fast you could go in, grab what you needed, and get back out.

"Yeah… just shopping, that's really about it. That's all they had time for, what with dealing with the… er… well that's all they had time for." Dudley confirmed sadly.

James took a good long look at his nephew, and suddenly he could see what was going on behind the temper tantrums. Dudley was jealous. Moreover, of all people, Dudley was jealous of Harry. The Dursleys may not have always treated Harry kindly, but any treatment at all meant they were at least paying attention to him - attention that in Dudley's eyes should have rightfully gone to him. Acting up was the only way he got any.

"You're probably happy then that your Aunt Lily and I are back then huh?"

"Doesn't seem to have made any diff'," Dudley shrugged.

"What do you mean – it doesn't make a difference? Of course it does, you don't have to share your parent's attention with your cousin anymore." James pointed out with insight.

"But they left me behind… just like we used to leave him. And I'm stuck here with you."

Although James felt Dudley deserved to know what that felt like, he still felt sorry for the boy who was obviously missing his parents more than he was admitting.

"Even if Vernon doesn't take you places, he does fun things with you at home – right?"

"What do you mean?"

"How about sports? I bet he taught you how to kick a soccer ball."

"Until I kicked it through the picture window." Dudley admitted dully.

"But what about the picture I saw on the mantle? Weren't you in a team suit? "

"Mum had them taken at a picture studio for 'decoration'."

"Okay…. let's see – didn't Vernon teach you how to ride a bike?"

"He tried, but the axel broke before I got very far. Dad said I was too-too p-p-pudgy to ride it." Dudley's lower lip started to quiver. "But mum said that wasn't true. She says it's just that I'm big boned, and the bike was of inferior quality."

"Well okay then… what did Vernon like to do with you as father and son?"

"Watch the telly. I'm really good at watching the telly now. I can watch sixteen hours straight without a break if mum brings me food." Dudley bragged proudly, then deflated when he added the caveat, "It's about the only thing I'm really good at doing. Now I can't even do that 'because Uncle Siri won't let me watch it. Not that you care."

"I'm sure there is more than that that you're good at." James tried to assure him, but for the love of Merlin, he couldn't think of anything to offer.

"Well I am pretty good at Alien Invasion. I even had the highest score of all…"

"See? That's something!"

"… until Uncle Remmy beat me at it. Now I'm just a pudgy lump that nobody likes who's no good at nuthin'."

"That just isn't so… you have a lot of friends who like you Dudley. What was that one little boy's name? Paul? Pete? Phil? Something like that?"

"Piers?"

"That's the one. Isn't he your best friend?"

"He used to be, but Auntie Lily wouldn't let me invite him to sleep over, so he went to stay at Malcolm's house last weekend. Now they're best friends."

James had forgotten how quickly loyalties could change when you were nine. From Dudley's perspective, first his parents deserted him, and now his best friend.

Lily had been right – Dudley's insecurity with his parents being gone was probably the root cause of all the trouble he had been causing since moving in. They hadn't been exactly welcoming either, and even Dudley was bound to eventually notice and react.

"Well maybe we could all do something fun tonight. Just you and me, your Aunt Lily and Harry, we'll do something together as a family. You can pick."

"What about Uncle Remmy?" Dudley looked around to verify the man hadn't snuck into the room without his noticing. "He wasn't at dinner. Is he going to be here too?"

"No… ha-ha…" James chuckled edgily. "He… ah… won't be feeling too well for the next night or two, so he'll be staying downstairs in his own flat."

"That's good. I glad." Dudley replied vehemently.

"I thought you liked Remus."

"He's scary."

"No he's not... that is not most of the time… but what makes you think so?"

"When he met me coming home from school today, he was acting weird."

"Really? Weird huh?"

James worried that maybe he shouldn't have pressed his friend into leaving his flat so close to the full moon. Only what other choice did he have? They had wanted Harry to themselves for a little while, and they couldn't send Sirius. They couldn't risk anyone spotting him in his human form, and Dudley wouldn't have recognized him as Padfoot.

"Yeah really weird. Even for your kind. When he came up to me he didn't say 'hallo' or nuthin' – he just looked at me, sniffed the air, and then his ears started twitching."

"Twitching?"

"Yeah – so I said 'Hey, Uncle Remmy – what's wrong with your ears? You have big ears anyway, but today they look about twice the size they normally are. Did you get stung by a bee or sumpthin' and swell all up'?"

"You did, did you? What did he say to that?"

"He just stooped down and got real close until his face was right in mine, and he said really low-like 'That just makes them all the better to hear you with Dudster'."

"That is a little… weird." James agreed.

"That's what I thought. So I asked him why he wanted to hear me better, I talk plenty loud already you know."

"I have noticed that."

"Anyway, he said 'If you try to run off, I'll need to be able to hear you to hunt you down my little morsel'." Being called 'my little morsel' all possessively like that, had really freaked Dudley out, as he thought maybe Uncle Remmy was turning into one of those 'funny uncles' his mum had warned him about.

"Oh my…" James winced. Remus had warned him that he didn't think he should go out as he had just taken his first dose of the new wolfsbane potion and didn't know how he would react to it yet.

"It gave me goosebumps all over, and I wasn't even cold since I wore my red hoodie today. It's rainproof. Mum bought it for me."

"Well, heh-heh… I'm sure he didn't mean anything by it."

"But he looked at me really… er… strange-like too."

"Strange? How strange?"

"His eyes were really huge, just about poppin' out of his head, and he kept staring at me like... like…" Dudley searched through his memories for something similarly predatory in nature to compare it too "…I know! Just like Dad stares at a steak on the grill!"

"Oh, that kind of strange," James chuckled uneasily. He should have listened to Remus but it seemed like such a good solution at the time. "He does get that look sometimes."

"Well I asked him about it. I said 'My, Uncle Remmy – what big bulgy eyes you have'. And do you know what he said?"

"I'm afraid to ask."

"He said 'All the better to watch your every move with my little appetizer'. It was really creepy how he said it." Dudley shivered and hugged his arms around himself.

"Um… well he isn't really feeling himself right now…"

"Oh he's 'feeling' just fine. I should know."

"What do you mean by that Dudley?" James gave him a sideways look.

"'cause he kept feeling my arm and squeezing it hard. I think I even have bruises…"

"Did you tell him to stop?"

"Yeah – I said 'Quit that Uncle Remmy! You have really big hands! It hurts!'"

"And he did stop… didn't he?" James frowned not liking the implication.

"Finally! But it took for-ev-er, and then he didn't even apologize!"

"He didn't?"

"No! All he said was that big hands made it all the easier to tenderize me with, and then he smiled at me."

"Smiling is good… I think…" James tried to reassure himself.

"Not the way he did it! It started reeeeeeeealy slow, kind of turning up at the edges, and then spread till it was all over his face and every one of his teeth were showing. They looked really sharp." Dudley exclaimed his eyes growing big and round.

"Er… so what did you do?"

"I told him that Mum takes me to an orthodontist downtown, and that maybe he should go too. Then I told him that his teeth look like they could use a good cleaning, that they looked waaaaaay too big for his mouth, and that maybe the orthodontist could do something about it. File 'em down or sumpthin' - braces maybe." Dudley shrugged.

"Ah… that was very helpful of you." James said choking on a laugh and just imagining Moony's reaction to Dudley's suggestion. Then he sobered up real quick when the thought of Lily's reaction to Dudley's trauma popped into his mind. Although it had actually been Lily's idea to ask Remus to fetch Dudley from school that day, James was sure she would conveniently forget that little fact – and what's more, James also knew he'd let her.

"Well that's what I thought. But Uncle Remmy didn't appreciate it at all."

"He didn't? How do you know?"

"Because he just said that he liked them fine just the way they were, and that he had made them nice and sharp 'specially for me." Dudley shivered at the memory.

"He didn't! ….did he?"

"Yup."

"Then what happened?"

"By that time we were here and Uncle Siri came out and told Uncle Remmy to let go of my arm. Then he said he had a snack ready for him downstairs and to 'go fetch'."

"Well that was good timing, and very nice of Sirius." James said relieved.

"Not really so nice, he didn't make me a snack!" Dudley pouted.

'But he kept you from being one,' James thought to himself. Out loud, he apologized, tried to reassure Dudley that Remus had just been teasing him, and meant nothing by it. He didn't want him to have nightmares.

"I'm sorry if you got frightened Dudley, I knew Remus wasn't feeling quite his old chipper self today. I shouldn't have asked him to walk you home, but I wanted to make sure you were safe and there wasn't anyone else available. I'm sure in a couple of days he'll be right as rain again, but in the meantime… don't pay any attention if you hear any noises coming from his flat downstairs. He gets kind of… er… 'cranky'… when he's ill."

"What about Uncle Siri and Holly? They're still hanging around. He'll just play a trick on me again, and that baby of yours tried to kill me with a tomato."

"Sirius can babysit Holly while we play a game or something… not that he needs any more time with my daughter…" James added under his breath. "What do you say?"

"Does Harry haft to play too?"

"Yes, he does. He's a part of this family," he stressed leaving no room for argument.

"Alright – if he has to, he has to." Dudley sighed resignedly.

"There you go! Now what would you like to do?"

"It's Monday."

"So?"

"Soooooo the Great Humberto is on tonight." Dudley rolled his eyes as if that should have been painfully obvious even to him.

"Let's think of something to do other than watching television."

"Like what else is there to do in this dump?" he asked kicking the beat up coffee table with his foot.

"Er… I don't know," he racked his brain trying to think of something Dudley would enjoy.

He already knew Dudley didn't like board games (Dudley described these as 'bored' games). -or word games (Lily trounced everyone every time without mercy, and cackled most unbecomingly when she did). -or geography games (from his travels Remus knew the names of places that no one else could prove didn't exist – though Sirius claimed he made half of them up). -or charades (after living in a small cramped cell for years, Sirius could contort himself into almost any shape to win this). -or card games (Exploding Snap was the only one they had, and James was the all time undefeated champion). -or reading out loud (although James had to admit he agreed with Dudley on this one – but Harry always seemed to enjoy it). Those were all the choices he could think of. He hadn't realized before how little in way of entertainment they had to offer muggles.

"You don't know about what?" Lily asked coming out of the kitchen carrying a happy Holly with a thoroughly smitten Sirius trailing behind and Harry bringing up the rear.

"What to suggest for a fun family activity tonight." James explained schooching over to make room for her next to him.

"How about reading out loud? I think we read all the books on the shelf at least once, but we could send Sirius to the school library to pick out a new one for us."

Lily's suggestion was met by a trio of resounding 'No's!' each for their own reason. Even Harry who normally enjoyed reading immensely voted against it, remembering how much trouble the last book Uncle Siri 'borrowed' caused. While Lily could understand that reaction from the rest of them, she had thought Harry really enjoyed it and that was why she suggested it first. She was longing to see him smile again as he had that afternoon on the playground, but now at the mere mention of books he looked ill.

"But I thought you liked books sweetie?"

"I do like books Mrs. Krueger, it's not that. I just don't want Uncle Siri to have to go to any bother on my account." Harry did mean both of the things he said - he liked books very much, he found storybooks to be one way to escape his cramped cupboard under the stairs. It hadn't been big enough to do much in it besides read. Only at Privet Drive when he 'borrowed' a book from Dudley - Dudley never noticed or wanted it back, the school librarian was far pickier about that so he REALLY didn't want Uncle Siri to check any more books out the library for him. Once had been quite enough.

"It's no bother at all! I'd be happy too! What'll it be? Humour? Adventure? Mystery?"

'… scritch scritch ... aaaaooOOOooooOOOOOOOOO…' a mournful howl echoed from the downstairs flat.

"Maybe all three rolled into one like one of those 'Three Investigators' books we were reading for story time in class! Remus just now reminded me of a good one. How about the 'Mystery of the Screaming Clock'? It's great fun. We can take turns reading it aloud like a radio show." Lily suggested enthusiastically.

"We've even got the background ambiance for it built in." Sirius chuckled. "Hey James, lend me your wand and I'll just pop over to the school real quick and see if I can find it."

"Er… no thanks Uncle Siri! Please don't do that!" Harry rushed to stop him and put himself between his father and uncle to prevent the transfer.

"Hey kiddo, what's wrong? You're not worried about me are you?" he laughed and tried to reach around Harry to get the wand to no avail. Finally, he stepped back, put his hands on his hips and cocked his head at the boy. "I'm telling you, there is no need to worry. I can take care of myself. Besides, it's late enough that it's highly unlikely anyone will see me."

"Ha-ha-ha! That's not why he doesn't want you to go!" Dudley howled with glee.

"It's not? Why then?"

"Ha-ha-ha! He got into big trouble today with everybody in the entire world, and he owes at least a zillion pounds to the liberals 'cause he didn't return a book for a long long long long time and they found out!" Just another choice tidbit he'd picked up eavesdropping on the principal's office through the heating duct in the loo. He hadn't intended to use it so soon, but the look on his cousin's face told him was well worth it.

"Leaving politics out of this - is the rest true Harry?" Lily pursed her lips.

"Er… not exactly… but yeah, I guess so." Harry shot Dudley a dirty look. How did Dudley know what happened?

"As I recall the librarian is very generous and forgiving, but she is very particular about her return policy. You really must try harder to respect her rules."

"Yes Ma'am." Harry agreed hanging his head. Dudley always had to ruin everything! After this afternoon, he was beginning to hope that they might actually like him enough to give him another chance. But what would they think of him now - a common thief!

"What book was it you were enjoying so much that you didn't return it? Maybe we could buy a copy." Lily offered, immediately regretting having to scold him – especially over a book! She loved books too! They had something in common!

"Whoa there Lils – let's make sure we can afford it first! You heard your nephew, there seems to be a matter of a debt of zillion pounds to settle. It will wipe us out financially if we have to fund a new library wing. How about it son? Just how much do you owe?"

"Oh I don't owe anything!" Harry rushed to explain, lest the Kruegers thought he was going to cost them any money on top of causing trouble. "The fine wasn't for me! It was for my teacher Mr. Nathraichean."

"Why would the librarian fine your teacher if you were the one who borrowed the book? As I recall, when I worked there she would have the kids re-shelve books for her during recess if they were tardy returning one."

"Because…" Harry looked sideways at his cousin. Dudley was paying more attention to the conversation than Harry would have liked, but he supposed it didn't matter now – the egg was safely out of Dudley's clutches in the care of Mr. Nathraichean. "…it was the book about how to hatch an egg. You know - the one Uncle Remus and Uncle Siri got for me. But I swear that I didn't know they got it from the lending library! I really wouldn't have kept it that long if I had!"

"I'm sure you wouldn't have, but I'm still curious why the librarian was going to fine your teacher. If she knew you had the book, why did she think he should pay for it in the first place? For that matter, how did she even know you had it? Your godfathers went after the school closed. That is still puzzling me. Did someone see them? Even if they did, I still don't know how they connected them with you. Do you know?"

"… 'cause of Uncle Siri…" Harry mumbled softly. He really didn't want Uncle Siri in trouble anymore than he wanted to see Mr. Nathraichean there. It might mean Uncle Siri would have to go to dinner with Ms. Smythe instead!

"What was that? I couldn't quite hear you." Dudley prodded from the couch with his hand cupped to his ear. He was having a fine time. It was almost as good as watching television! He loved it when Harry was in trouble! Soooooo entertaining!

"Yes speak up son. I couldn't hear you either - besides your mum brings up some good points. We need to know if someone recognized Sirius. The Aurors might be on our doorstep any moment." James seconded, adding to Harry's misery.

"Hey! Enough with this interrogation! I'm here. I'm fine. The last time the bell rang, it was the pizza deliveryman, not the Aurors, not that they would ever stop to ring the bell."

"But think Sirius! Who might be ringing it next time? Can we take the chance?"

"I don't see a problem, and I want to play charades. So why don't we just get on with it?" Sirius' short-term memory was no longer spotty, in fact it was quite sharp now (not that he wouldn't keep using it as a convenient excuse for as long as he could), but it was good enough to recall quite clearly the reason for the misunderstanding over the book. Giving Harry a sharp look, he knew that Harry clearly knew the reason too. Moreover, he could give an educated guess as to why Harry was so reluctant to spill it. His pup was protecting him! First Holly, now Harry. It made him glow with godfatherly pride.

"Why don't we just settle this matter first?" Lily said firmly, making Sirius back off and slink into the corner, taking Holly with him. Turning back to Harry she said, "Now what is this all about? Tell us the whole story."

"Sorry Uncle Siri…"

"No problem pup, you gotta do what you gotta do. I can take it." Sirius looked up from blowing bubbles on Holly tummy and shrugged nonchalantly.

"Okay then… well you see… the reason the librarian was going to fine my teacher was because his name was on the checkout list that he took the book. When the principal's Assistant brought the paper with the fine on it, I knew it wasn't my teacher's signature because his is neat and this one was way too messy like Uncle Siri's is. Anyway, she wanted to make him dinner, but it wasn't really his fault. So... I confessed that I had the book and that my teacher didn't know anything about it. I told them all that I wrote his name down, so that I could take it for longer, but then I forgot to give it back. I didn't tell them about Uncle Siri AT ALL! I promise I didn't!"

"Sirius what did you do! Why did you write down Harry's teacher?" Lily started to shake her finger at him only to have him reply with a huff.

"Well whom else's should I have put? The Minister of Magic I suppose?"

"Why did you put anything is what I want to know." James countered.

"Because Prongs…" he said rolling his eyes as if it were obvious. "There was this great big book sitting on the counter, just begging to be written in. I had to write something! It wanted me too! It even had a pen chained to it! See! I've got it right here!" Sirius boasted pulling the confiscated pen out with a flourish and brandishing it like a wand.

"Sirius, Sirius, Sirius… seriously what are we going to do with you?"

"Feed me ice cream?"

"We have ice cream?" Dudley perked up hopefully. He had left most of his dinner untouched on his plate when he got into the argument with Sirius earlier. Not that it was a big loss in his book as it was liver and he thought it rather disgusting.

"I brought some strawberry home from work today." When James started to get up from the couch, Lily pulled him back down before he got very far.

"Remus took it downstairs. You know how he likes strawberries."

"All of it?"

"It didn't seem wise to argue."

"I would have argued." Dudley muttered with a scowl.

It was rather distressing how all the puddings seemed to be disappearing downstairs. First the pies, and now the ice cream to go with it. No one had mentioned cakies but they were probably all down there too, along with all the candy since he hadn't been able to find any up here. He always thought Uncle Remmy was a goody-two-shoes freak like the rest of them, but until now, he hadn't pegged him as a piggish prat as well.

"Well I'm not going to, Remus can have it. I'm getting a little pudgy around the centre anyway." The mention of pudge reminded him of the promise he had made to Dudley. "Sirius is right, why don't we just get on with it and play a game?"

"Charades! Holly and I are in! We'll go first!" Sirius called out jumping up with a grin.

Dudley looked at him with a start, and then glared at his Uncle James as if he had betrayed him. If Uncle Siri was staying, then he was going!

"I thought we'd let Dudley decide tonight. And if you don't mind terribly Sirius, maybe tonight we could make it just the two boys and Lily and I for a change." James requested making Dudley's round face light up like a full moon.

"Righty-o Daddy-o! It's not a prob Prongs. Heh-heh! You don't need to knock me over the head with a building - I can take a hint. C'mon snicklefritz let's go upstairs. I think the Great Humberto is on tonight and we can practice you saying Padfoot!"

Both James and Dudley glowered at Sirius' back as he climbed the circular staircase. James was upset that his friend was going to continue to corrupt his baby girl, Dudley upset that Sirius was going up to watch his favourite program on his telly without him! However, in Dudley's case, as soon as he noticed how jealous his cousin Harry looked, he forgot all about the Great Humberto.

"So have you decided what you would like to do Dudley?" his aunt asked him.

"Uh… no."

"How about a board game? Maybe Scrabble?" Lily suggested.

Dudley yawned to demonstrate just how boring he thought that would be.

"A word game then? How about 'Round Robin'? I start by saying a word, and then you say my word and add one of your own, and then James, and then Harry, and then we go round again. When someone gets the sequence of words wrong, they are out until the next game, and the last one to miss – wins! It's super for building vocabulary!"

"Nah…" Dudley squirmed. Vocabulary? She had to be kidding! That was yuck-o big time. He got enough of teachers trying to cram vocabulary into his brain during school.

"Maybe I'll go watch the telly with Uncle Siri and Holly while Dudley makes up his mind." Harry suggested trying to back out of the room.

"Oh no you don't Prongslet! Get back here!" James pulled Harry back over to the couch and onto his lap so that he couldn't get away. The biggest benefit he could think of, of having a family fun night was that Harry would be there too. So when he felt Harry go stiff in his arms instead of relaxing, he felt even more determined to make him stay and have fun with them whether he wanted to or not.

"We're going to have fun all together, as a family – if it kills us. I know – you have all those activities you planned for this weekend Lily, couldn't we do one of them now instead of waiting?"

"That's a wonderful idea!" Lily clapped her hands delightedly. "And I know just the one! That is… if that's okay with you Dudley. James said it's your pick tonight."

"Uh… will I hafta think much? My brain kind of hurts," he explained scratching his head.

"No Dudley, it's pretty brainless - just fun. I promise." Lily answered him wryly.

"It's not one of those School Arts and Crafts projects is it?" he grilled her. "I hate School Arts and Crafts projects."

"I really don't see what you have against them, but no. It is definitely not a 'School' Arts and Crafts project that I had in mind."

"Okay then. I guess it'll be alright." Dudley agreed reluctantly.

"Great!" Lily bounced up and retrieved a bag full of goodies from where she had stashed them in the bedroom, and cleared off the low square coffee table. Once she managed to pull them all off the couch to sit cross-legged around it, she started pulling out supplies.

"Hey! No fair! You said it wasn't gonna be Arts and Crafts!" Dudley wailed at seeing the growing mound of pipe cleaners and construction paper.

"No… I said it wasn't going to be 'School' Arts and Crafts, and that is not what we're going to do." Lily assured him with a sly smile and a wink to Harry and James.

"It's not? Are you sure? 'cause it sure looks like Arts and Crafts! I bet there's even glitter in there somewhere…oh yuck! There is! There is! I can see it right there!" Dudley pouted and pointed at the pile.

"Oh its Arts and Crafts all right," Lily laughed infectiously, "just not the 'School' variety. This is 'Family Fun Night' Arts and Crafts!"

Everyone joined in her laughter except for Dudley who scowled and muttered sullenly about there not being a difference, realizing she had fooled him. His aunt was very tricky! That was the same kind of bait and switch tactics his mum liked to use on him to get him to wear tight uncomfortable prissy suits for 'impromptu photo opportunities' as she liked to call them. Why you might ask? It was all to hang up another embarrassing picture of him in some prominent place for his friends to tease him about. His cousin didn't realize how lucky he was that he never had to worry about that.

"Dudley's right…" Harry's quite voice unexpectedly filled up the void left when the laughter subsided.

"What?" Lily stopped in mid-unpacking, certain she couldn't have him heard right.

"What?" Dudley echoed, surprised Harry admitted he was right about anything.

"What?" James added belatedly, simply in reflex to everyone else asking it. He had ceased paying attention and had slipped into his 'relaxed-dad-mode' as soon as Lily had taken charge of the family activity. He cracked open an eye warily in case he had to do something he wouldn't be caught sleeping.

"Glitter is… an abomination." Harry repeated after some thought in answer to all three.

"Excuse me – what did you say?" Lily asked in horror. The only thing she was certain of when it came to Harry's heart was that he loved Arts and Crafts!

"An abomination – that's a noun that means 'something that arouses abhorrence'." Harry was proud that he had remembered the descriptive word correctly, and delivered the definition with all the Salazar Slytherin certainty and aplomb he could muster.

Lily pursed her lips, annoyed.

James got annoyed, seeing her annoyed.

Dudley was just all around annoying when he broke up laughing and pointing. "Ha-ha-ha! You should see the look on your face Auntie!"

Harry smiled tentatively from one to another. He was right… wasn't he? Come to think of it, Dudley was right again… Mrs. Krueger now had the same look on her face that Ms. Smythe had had on hers after Mr. Nathraichean said the same thing, and Mr. Krueger had the same look of sour lemons on his that Mr. Nathraichean always had.

"I fail to see what is so wrong with glitter! It's… its sparkly!" Lily announced with a huff.

Dudley laughed even harder. "Now you sound just like the principal's assistant! That's what she said too! Ha-ha-ha!"

"Ms. Smythe? Not that I disagree with her, but what does she have to do with this?"

"Mr. Nastyman doesn't like glitter 'cause Ms. Snipe does, 'n Harry doesn't like it either 'cause he's teacher's pet!"

"I am NOT!" Harry denied hotly. He knew darn well Mr. Nathraichean didn't like him any more than he liked any of the other kids. In fact, Mr. Nathraichean didn't like anyone!

"Am too!" Dudley teased.

"Am not!"

"Am too!"

"Boys! Stop that!" Lily ordered.

"Yes Ma'am." They both chorused their agreement without meaning a word of it. They continued their fight by mouthing the words at each other instead, until it disintegrated into seeing who could contort their face in the most grotesque manner. Only when James joined in with a face that topped them both, it reduced them both into giggles. Although he hadn't played that particular game in years, making a fool of his self was well worth it for the reactions he got. Besides, it was nice that for a change Padfoot and Moony weren't with them to hog the spotlight.

He could never beat either of them at it, Padfoot was by far the most warped of the trio and contorting his body just came naturally to Remus. They weren't here though, so he was the winner by default and that was what counted! Even better - now that he had officially participated in the 'family fun night' he could relax and go back to not paying attention again with immunity. He was reluctant to admit it, but he had more in common with Dudley than he had imagined. He wasn't all that thrilled with Arts and Crafts, even though he was the one to have suggested it. He meant just for the boys to do – not him!

With her bag of goodies unpacked before her, Lily went into her best engaging teacher mode. "I am sure that your teacher has told you about the origin of many of the Easter traditions already…" she started brightly, but Dudley immediately contradicted her.

"Uh… nope." Dudley responded with Harry shaking his head in agreement.

"He hasn't?" Lily gasped appalled.

"Nope, like I said – he doesn't like glitter."

"But… but glitter is fun for any occasion, not necessarily just Easter!"

"Mr. Nathraichean doesn't like any occasions either. He says they are a botheration to be avoided, and if you can't avoid them then he feels sorry for you." Harry contributed.

"Feels sorry for you? Why?"

"Because it means you're pathetic if you have time to waste on frivolity and foolishness." Harry quoted his teacher.

"Pathetic am I? I'll show him pathetic!" Lily muttered under her breath and then told the boys: "You should always listen to your teacher except on rare occasions, and this is one of those occasions. It is not pathetic to have a little fun. In fact, it is good for your health and I feel sorry for those that think otherwise. In addition, honouring the traditions of your culture is never foolish, and a little frivolity makes life more enjoyable. Just ask your father – he's the king of frivolity. Aren't you James? James? ... JAMES!" Lily kicked at his outstretched legs and connected with an exposed ankle.

"WHAT WAS THAT FOR!"

"I asked you a question – don't you think a little frivolity makes things more interesting."

"Er… of course it does. Why?"

"The boy's teacher seems to disagree."

"Then the boy's teacher is a prat."

"James!"

"Well if you didn't want my opinion why ask it?"

"You're of no help, just go back to sleep." Lily ordered derogatorily.

"No, no, I'm awake! I am! I promised Dudley we'd do something together as a family." Dudley beamed at his remark, relishing the look of jealously on his cousin's face, and in the fact that his uncle had remembered his promise.

Harry bit back his resentment, and started chanting his mantra over and over in his head: 'I don't care, I'm not attached… I don't care, I'm not attached…'

James would have preferred to take Lily up on her blessing to veg out on the sofa while the rest of them cut and glued to their hearts content. However, he had made a promise to his nephew and meant to keep it, despite being exhausted. His employer had taken advantage of his two-week notice by assigning him straight double shifts so he would have ample time to have the store room completely cleaned out and reorganized before he left. James would have just used magic and had it done in seconds, but every time he got tempted and started to take out his wand, one of the other employees always wandered down to get something or to see how he was doing.

He had only managed to get this one afternoon off, so he still had four more days of the backbreaking labour to go. He could hardly wait for it to be over so he could work just as hard on what really mattered – becoming Harry's father. James leaned back against the sofa, and his soft snores soon filled the room, both irritating and amusing his wife.

"Pathetic… just pathetic," Lily said softly as she lovingly tossed a throw over him.

Harry didn't understand adults. There was Mrs. Krueger calling Mr. Krueger a name that he knew hurt, at least it always hurt him when the Dursley's called him pathetic - but instead of saying it with the look of disapproval (that by his experience normally accompanied it) she was smiling tenderly down on her husband, and tucking him in gently with the warm fluffy blanket. Her words and her actions seemed so contradictory, how was he to know which one to believe? "I thought you said it was my teacher who was pathetic, because he doesn't like to have fun…"

"No, I just said it was sad that there were people who felt that way. I would never call your teacher pathetic…" …at least not until I have the pleasure of actually meeting him… Lily thought to herself. Which reminds me… "Harry did you ever have a chance to tell him that I still want to talk with him?"

"Er… y-yes Mrs. K-Krueger Ma'am… y-yes I did." Harry stuttered in admission, startled at first by the seemingly abrupt change in the conversation. Then he realized that he had brought this doom on himself by mentioning his teacher by name.

For days, he had been diligent in avoiding all situations that might inadvertently remind Mrs. Krueger of her request for a parent-teacher conference. He had been hoping that by doing so, she would eventually forget all about it, and then he would never need to tell her what Mr. Nathraichean replied. Now all his hard work was going down the drain for a solitary moment of forgetfulness.

"So?"

"Ma'am?" Harry asked trying to look innocent, but the little circles he was tracing on the tabletop in front of him betrayed his nervousness.

"So what did he say?"

"Do I have to tell you?" Harry asked in a very small voice.

From Harry's response, Lily knew she wasn't going to like what his teacher had to say, not one bit. Narrowing her eyes, she glared at the image of elusive teacher she pictured even now sitting cross-legged on the floor with them. No that seemed off. The imaginary image was sitting much too close to her impressionable little boy, and in far too chummy a pose for someone so conceited. Raising her sight to a spot over Harry's shoulder, the image of the teacher followed and was now sitting primly in the comfy chair behind him. Still too close and she didn't feel like being hospitable. Throwing her glance towards the front door, the image went with it. As soon as she mentally shoved him out the door and slammed it in his smug face, she was calm enough to reply.

"Yes, yes you do."

"Okay… but remember – you're the one making me say it…" Harry warned, then taking a deep breath he plunged in headfirst. "Mr. Nathraichean said to tell you that 'he didn't need any advice on teaching, especially from someone who couldn't handle the job'."

"He said WHAT!" Lily fumed.

"He said he didn't need any advice on…"

"I heard you the first time." Lily cut him off before he could parrot the entire slam again.

"Sorry!" Harry apologized but under his breath, he tacked on, "I tried to tell you that you wouldn't like it…"

Lily heard the small retort and immediately regretted being snappy at him. Drat those hormone surges! He was right, she had insisted despite his warning. They had had such a nice afternoon and now he was looking just as closed off as before. What in Merlin's name, could she do to fix it now? A stray tear rolled down her cheek and she brushed it off impatiently before Harry could see it.

"Harry, you should never apologize for something that is not your fault."

"I shouldn't?" That surprised Harry at it was in direct contradiction to Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia's teachings. They had him convinced he needed to apologize if the sun came up too early to suit them.

"That's not to say you shouldn't empathize when the situation calls for it, but apologize? No, absolutely not. It's uncalled for."

"But I didn't mean to upset you so I am sorry. And I'm not sure what 'empathize' means, but if you show me how I'll try to do that too!"

"You're not the one upsetting me sweetie, your teacher is. Besides I'm not actually 'upset' per se - I am 'justifiably incensed' that the principal hired someone to replace your Uncle Remmy who is obviously not suited for teaching impressionable youngsters. As far as empathizing, it just means to understand what the other person is feeling, and seeing the situation from their point of view."

"How do you do that?" Dudley asked curiously.

"You put yourself in their shoes."

"Stink-o-rama! Why would anyone ever do that?" Dudley asked holding his nose.

"You'd be surprised Dudley," Lily told him. "It really helps you to understand your fellow human beings. You should try it someday."

Not understanding that she didn't mean to literally put on somebody else's footwear, Dudley reacted by pulling a face. He could see the toes of Harry's ratty trainers peeking out from under his cousin's crossed legs. No matter what his aunt suggested, there was NO WAY he would actually put his feet in those tape encrusted hand-me-downs now, even if they did use to be his when they were new.

Also being nine, Harry knew exactly what Dudley meant, because he was thinking the same thing. Only he was wondering what it would be like to have brand new never-worn-by-anyone-else shoes as Dudley had. Embarrassed about his own falling-apart shoes, he flushed and straightened out his legs, sticking his feet under the table.

Unfortunately while they were now out of sight, they were also now within range of Dudley's expensive new superstar endorsed grey striped cross-trainers with the glow-in-the-dark laces. Dudley promptly took advantage of the situation and kicked him, following his aunt's example from earlier. Harry wiped the gloating look off Dudley's face when he kicked him back – the duct tape toe of his shoe connecting nice and hard with a soft plump shin.

Missing the spirited exchange between the boys, Lily hummed as she gathered up an odd assortment of items from around the flat: scissors, glue, crayons and a large vase. "Now, who wants to have fun, and who wants to be a stick-in-the-mud like your teacher? Any takers? Hm…?" she asked settling down on the floor between the two boys.

Harry and Dudley warily sized up each other. For once they both felt that they were on the same side, even though they were sitting on opposite sides of the table squabbling. Neither wanted Lily to think them a stick-in-the-mud, so they silently agreed to an uneasy truce (so long as the other stayed on his side of the table), then with plastered on enthusiastic expressions they claimed they were ready for whatever she had planned.

"You know boys… Easter is so much more than just chocolate eggs and bunnies…"

"There's chocolate! Where!" Dudley asked perking up considerably.

"Dudley honey, it's too close to bedtime to be eating sweets," Lily pointed out. "If you're still hungry there is a nice bowl of fruit on the kitchen table, you may help yourself."

When his tummy rumbled at the mere mention of food, Dudley decided anything was better than starving to death and hefted himself off the floor and limped into the kitchen rubbing his shin as he went. Only as he entered, the sight of the bowl of shiny red apples didn't tempt him one iota. Pulling open the door to the icebox he looked in the freezer compartment hopefully for the strawberry ice cream his uncle had mentioned earlier, thinking maybe Uncle Remmy hadn't pilfered it all – but he had.

His disappointed tummy growled loudly in the stillness… and something growled back.

Glancing over his shoulder uneasily, Dudley saw no one else in the room. Thinking he had just imagined it, he started foraging through the rest of the icebox for something sweet. All he found were a few more hard-boiled Easter eggs. These looked like his Cousin Holly's handiwork – as besides the sporadic splotches of colours on the mostly still white shells, there were also little bits of partially eaten cereal stuck to them.

"Yuck!" Dudley thought as he shoved them back in, he wasn't that desperate. Besides, he was leery of Easter eggs since his embarrassing experience that morning. He was still hungry though, and he was positive there had to be something there to eat!

Dragging over a chair to stand on, he started rifling through the pantry until he found a partially eaten box of left over valentine bon bon's high on the top shelf. As he started to reach for it, the small closed space filled with an unearthly howl. Jumping down from the chair he slammed the pantry door behind him, and then felt a little foolish when from the other room all he could hear were the normal sounds of his cousin talking, his aunt laughing, and his uncle snoring. When his tummy rumbled again, hunger overcame his jitters and he went back in and climbed up on the chair. As soon as his fingers touched the heart shaped box, the chair under him started to shake as if from an earthquake, toppling a trio of tins on the shelf, which in turn caught the light from the kitchen and glinted like glowing eyes. Then the howling started up again.

Dudley abandoned all thoughts of a snack and started to run out of the room. Then having second thoughts, he dashed back in, slammed and locked the pantry door, grabbed the eggs out of the icebox, and scooted back into the living room before the eerie sound subsided. Panting heavily he plopped back down as close to his sleeping Uncle James as he could possibly get without actually sitting on his lap. His mum's admonishment to stay away from 'that sort' was all but forgotten in favour of security.

"Oh good you're back, and just in time and look - you brought Easter eggs back with you! How appropriate, Harry and I were just talking about traditional Easter foods." Lily smiled at seeing Dudley cosy up to his snoozing uncle, knowing that a short week ago he wouldn't have even sat on the same couch as one of them.

"You mean like chocolate bunnies and jelly eggs? If you're missing any, it's not my fault. Uncle Remmy probably took them too," Dudley said scornfully from the safety of his cosy spot. He felt much braver now that he was back in the company of the others.

Lily laughed, "No Dudley although some people consider chocolate to be a fifth food groups, I don't – I meant food like roast lamb, fresh spring vegetables, roasted potatoes with horseradish sauce, simnel cakes, and hot cross buns. Did you know that like Morris dancing, that hot cross buns date back to medieval times?"

"Who'd wanna eat anything that old? Be awful stale if you ask me," Dudley scoffed.

"Since when did you care if a sweet was stale?" Harry scoffed in return, raising his eyebrows in shock at the thought of Dudley turning down anything with sugar in it.

"No boy's I meant the tradition – it's thought that the first hot cross buns were baked as an offering to Eostre, the goddess of the spring, and that the four quadrants on the top were meant to represent the four quarters of the moon. In fact speaking of stale baked goods, many superstitious homeowners would tuck away a few of the buns each spring to keep in the house throughout the year to ward off evil spirits. And sailors would even carry them to sea with them, to protect them from being shipwrecked."

"Does it work?" Harry asked curious if the little sweets were what kept Uncle Siri from drowning in the sea. He did say all he had to eat at times in Azkaban was stale bread rolls and thin porridge. Maybe he pocketed a couple of the rolls, and that was what protected him on his long swim.

"Oh it was probably more just the belief that they were protected, that gave them the edge to prevent catastrophe, rather than any mystical power in the buns. But it is nice to think that they could." Lily then started to sing them the old children's rhyme:

Hot cross buns, hot cross buns
One a penny, two a penny, hot cross buns
If ye want good luck, give them to your sons
One a penny, two a penny, hot cross buns

"I think I will bake a batch for Easter dinner," Lily said thoughtfully. When Dudley's tummy seconded the idea, it made her laugh. "Now, where was I? Oh yes… traditions, there are so many others, let's see… in Scotland, they used to light huge bonfires to celebrate Easter and the coming of spring. In addition, many people get up early and gather together to watch the sunrise on Easter morning. Then they would have Easter parades where they would shed their heavy winter coats and show off their new clothes, in particular the ladies with their fancy bonnets."

The mention of new clothes tugged uncomfortably at Lily's subconscious. In the back of her mind, she knew there was something that she had been meaning to do, but she couldn't quite remember what it was. It really irritated her that she was so forgetful, and she didn't want to give anyone the impression that she didn't care enough to follow through on things. Whenever she mentioned it to James, he would hug her and tell her not to be so hard on her self - and that the doctors said it could take years before her brain totally healed. Her memory problems were part of that. She hoped that whatever it was she was forgetting that it wasn't something important.

When Mrs. Krueger mentioned the Easter parades and new clothes, Harry wondered if he should remind her about his shoes. She had promise to buy him a new pair, ones that actually fit and weren't falling apart. Stealing a glance across the table at Dudley Harry decided against it. Besides Dudley had mentioned his shoes, not a half hour earlier, and Mrs. Krueger hadn't said anything about it. Harry made sure to tuck his ill shod feet under him and out of sight. When he was living with his relatives, he learned that reminding them of anything that would cost them money was a bad idea.

'Maybe she changed her mind and decided they were too expensive. Aunt Petunia used to tell me that all the time, because she had to save the money for Dudley's things. Mrs. Kruger probably thinks I'm not worth spending any money on if they're just going to get rid of me at the end of the week.'

While her son's thoughts started to pull him into a dark depressing place, Lily noticed that her nephew had lost all interest in her lesson once she had stopped talking about food. To bring him back around she asked him for the last of the Easter eggs he had brought to snack on. Dudley reluctantly handed it over as there hadn't been that many to start with, and he was still hungry. Besides, he thought maybe if he cooperated now, his aunt would be nice and not make him do crafts later.

"There are many other symbols of the Easter Season – such as these eggs," she said balancing a colourfully decorated egg precariously on top of the craft supplies. "Colouring eggs for Easter dates back to the Middle Ages when King Edward the first had his artisans cover them with gold leaf to present as gifts. Of course, very few could afford to do that, so the tradition of using foils and dyes came about instead, it is also said that it became popular because the bright colours reflected the colours of spring after the cold dreary winter."

"Once giving eggs became fashionable, people did what people normally do – made contests out of them, and so started the traditions of egg rolling, and egg races, and egg hunts. And then of course there is the Easter Bunny… or 'Oschter Haws' as he's called in Germany where the tradition is thought to have started in the fifteen hundreds," she said plopping down a pink stuffed bunny of Holly's next to the egg, and making the pile sway dangerously.

"The hare, not only being a symbol of springtime and the renewal of life, was also a symbol of the moon since ancient times, and the phases of the moon are used to determine the exact date of Easter every year. More importantly, we need the rabbits …because someone has to hide the eggs! Ha-ha-ha! Right boys? ... (ahem) … am I right?"

Lily's attempt at humour fell on deaf ears, as Dudley was leaning against James with a glazed look on his face and a thin stream of drool making a wet spot on his uncle's shirt. Harry wasn't any more attentive. He was staring mesmerized at the Easter egg wobbling on the top of the pile while he wondered how his own egg was fairing in the hands of his teacher and if it would change his fate.

All Lily knew was that Harry was lost once again in his thoughts - somewhere far far away from the little flat. She sighed and plunged on anyway. "But I have to admit, my very favourite Easter symbol is pussy willows…" she lightly twirled a long twig of willow in her hand while she gazed fondly at her husband.

The previous week, before she knew the reason she was feeling so ragged, he had come home late from work covered from head to toe in mud. While she was scolding him for tracking in dirt all over the flat, he stood there ginning at her with an infuriatingly endearing lopsided grin, making her more ticked off by the minute.

When she finally stopped to take a breath he presented the scraggily bare sticks he had been clutching behind his back to her, as if they were diamond incrusted golden branches. To Lily they were - for he had remembered her love of the silky little catkins, something that she hadn't remembered herself until she saw them again. Yet, not only had he recalled the fact that she couldn't help but smile whenever she 'petted' the pussy willows, he had managed to scrounge some from a bog, just to cheer her up.

James had been pretending to sleep to avoid the activity, but was actually watching Lily through his barely open eyelids. Merlin she was breathtaking! When she looked at him like that, words such as loving, compassionate, and beautiful barely did her justice. He had no idea what he had done to be so lucky to have her agree to be his wife, not only once, but twice.

Watching her now, he decided he needed to show her more often and in more ways how very blessed he felt, and knew contributing to her lesson for the boys, instead of sleeping through it, would be a small way to start.

"… all of these things symbolize the thing that is the most wonderful about spring: hope, life and renewal. To me, Easter is more than just one day, it is spring at its best, when almost anything could happen, and things come alive again." At that moment, James cast a charm to prod the dormant twig into bursting out in silver buds in her hands.

"Wow!" Dudley sat up straight, awestruck. He knew that his relatives were wizards but he had never seen their magic up close like this before. Well… not when his mother wasn't covering his eyes, that is.

Although he would never ever admit it out loud, ninety percent of the 'freaky things' that he used to accuse Harry of doing to get him into trouble, he hadn't really done. In fact, his cousin usually wasn't even around. It normally happened on those rare occasions when Dudley's parents actually told him 'no'. Then suddenly his mum's new dress would balloon to the size of a tent, or his dad's new titanium golf clubs would be made of rubber. Dudley couldn't explain it. All he knew was that if someone was going to get into trouble over it… it wasn't going to be him! Besides, what good was having a freaky cousin living under your stairs if not to be a built in scapegoat?

"Brilliant!" Harry breathed, equally entranced by the sight.

He was only slightly more familiar with magic than was Dudley. His parents had only used it sparingly since he came to live there, saying they didn't want to attract undue attention. Harry understood that only too well. It was no different from when he was at the Dursley. If his aunt or uncle ever saw anything even slightly 'peculiar' in nature happen at Number Four it was always blamed on Harry's magic, and that was never a happy thing for Harry.

Lily shot James a small thankful glance for helping her to recapture the boy's flagging attention. "Now another one of my favourite symbols of Easter is the lily… of course it might just be the name! Okay boys, follow me now and do what I do…" Lily instructed as she selected a sheet of white construction paper and put it down on the table with her hand palm down in the centre.

As she started to trace around her hand with a purple crayon, she continued her lecture, this time both the boys listened. "Lilies come in all the colours of the rainbow, but it is normally the white one that people associate with Easter, as it embodies the spiritual essence of pure innocence, hope and life."

By this time both Harry and Dudley had selected their own construction paper and followed Lily's lead by tracing around their outstretched hands, Harry a blue sheet with a green crayon, Dudley a brown one with black. Even James had joined in with a sheet of gold paper and his hand traced in crimson red.

"This is dorky…." Dudley mumbled as his crayon broke under the force of his fat fingers.

"I like to draw." Harry whispered back to him.

"You would – you're a dork." Dudley retorted under his breath.

"Psst… don't tell your godfathers but I like drawing too…" James whispered.

"Then you're both dorks," Dudley sniped, tossing down the broken crayon in frustration.

James felt sympathy for him, because he was at least trying but obviously hadn't ever been taught to treat playthings with care, so he cast a quick 'Reparo Roburus' mending and strengthening charm on the crayon and held it out to his nephew. "This one will work better for you Dudley. You might like drawing if your crayon stays in one piece." James winked at Harry and grinned at his nephew, "Then we can all be dorks together."

Dudley hesitated then reached out for it gratefully. Normally adults just gave up on him.

"Now we cut around the lines…" Lily decided James was handling the situation nicely, so she continued the demonstration with her own paper before passing the scissors to the left "…and then using the crayon we curl the paper fingers around it."

Soon she had a very silly looking paper hand with waving fingers. While she demonstrated the next step, of rolling the paper palm into a cone shape with the fingers curled outward and gluing it in position, James demonstrated how he could spit on his and then make it stick to his forehead. Lily patiently ignored his antics, as they were keeping both boys entertained and participating.

She concluded her flower assembly demonstration by stapling her 'flower' to a stiff green pipe cleaner. Then, cutting out two leaves from some bright green paper she taped them on the 'stem' she had created, and deposited the finished 'lily' in the vase with a flourish and a 'voilà!'

Harry added his blue lily to the vase and sat back on his heels to admire the bouquet while the others used the stapler and tape to finish theirs. He was quite pleased with the results, and thought it almost as good as the one Mrs. Krueger made. James was sure that his, with its glorious Gryffindor colouring, was the best by far - although his fingers not fitting on the paper when he traced his hand stunted the petals. Still, all in all, he was proud he had finished one - actually one and a half as he had helped Dudley wrestle his back out of the jaws of the stapler when it jammed as he tried to use it. Dudley's turned out a little mangled, but he beamed under his Aunt's praise anyway.

Seeing how happy the flowers made Mrs. Krueger, Harry quickly started another, and Dudley seeing what he was doing grabbed several sheets at one time determined he would not be outdone now that he had the hang of it. Soon they had a flower war going, each trying to see who could make the greatest number of lilies in the shortest amount of time, with the most outlandish colour combinations - many of them with the infamous glitter, in great gluey globs on their petals. The result was a vase overflowing with bizarre looking sparkling lilies. Lily happily declared the bouquet a 'priceless' work of art.

All in all, a successful family fun night in Lily's opinion.

After making sure the boys took their baths (to wash off stray glue splotches), and was tucked in for the night, James went upstairs and retrieved his baby daughter from Sirius' nefarious clutches. He found them sprawled out on the floor of the small flat in front of Dudley's blaring telly. Sirius dead to the world, with Holly tucked under one arm happily gumming away on the crisps that were spilling from a bag Sirius was using as a pillow.

James flipped off the noisy set with an angry twist of knob on the front then mutely withdrew his wand from his holster. With his hand suspended over his unconscious friend, he contemplated what would be the most onerous way to wake him up. He was still miffed that his friend had managed to get both of his children to say 'Padfoot' as their first 'official' word. True, Holly had already said 'Kama' quite a few times (mostly whenever she wanted picked up and her parents weren't doing it), but James felt justified in denying that was an 'official' first word since it wasn't his 'official' knick name.

He scowled down at Sirius. How could he be sleeping so peacefully when he was such a backstabber? He decided that Lily was right in wanting to keep the news of the new baby to themselves for a month or two. Maybe it should be longer than that. Maybe they should wait until the kid turned two, or even three. By that time, he should have been able to hear at least one 'Dada' or even a 'Mama' from its mouth without interference!

James was about to cast a hex to teach him a lesson when Holly distracted him with delighted giggles. Kicking her feet and waving her little arms in his direction, she got enough momentum to roll out from under Sirius' arm onto her tummy. Then playing peek-a-boo with the one hand that hadn't caught under her, she smiled directly at him and very clearly said 'Dada', not once – but twice!

That was all it took to melt he daddy's heart into a puddle of goo.

Scooping her up, he cradled her to his chest, all thoughts of retribution gone as she cooed 'da-da da da da da-da da da da' repeatedly. With tears in his eyes, James swept a pile of newspapers off the ratty settee and sat down to rock her back and forth in his arms, unable to get enough of the sweet baby song. It wasn't until she fell asleep again with a faint 'dada' on her rosebud lips that he was able to tear his eyes away from her, and when he did, he was astounded by what he saw covering every surface of Sirius' flat – hundreds of signs with the word 'Daddy' written on them.

Sirius chose that moment to roll onto his side in his sleep and to start to pat the crushed bag of crisps and mumble to it cajolingly.

"… c'mon snickfrit you can do it… say 'Daddy' for Padfoot okay?... don't get me kicked out… c'mon snickfrit… 'Daaaaaddddeeeee'... 'Daaaaaddddddeeeeee'" Yawning widely Sirius' mumbles soon became undecipherable.

James had to shake his head in wonder. Taking out his wand, instead of hexing Sirius, he levitated his friend into the bedroom. After tucking him in, he carried Holly downstairs and tucked her in as well, before finally sliding into his own bed next to his wife.

"Everybody in bed?"

"Except for Remus… I could hear him prowling around downstairs."

"Is the hatch bolted?"

"Yes, I double checked it."

Lily breathed a sigh of relief as James slid in beside her.

"Hey Rosie… you'll never believe what Sirius was up to tonight…" James started to tell her about what he found with a chuckle.

"That was very sweet of him." Lily agreed. "But he wasn't the only sweet one tonight."

"No?"

"You were too, my love."

"Me? What did I do beside zonk out on you?"

"I thought it was really sweet of you to talk with Dudley for so long tonight after dinner. I could tell it made a big difference in his attitude."

"I hope so…" James said thoughtfully.

"Aha! So you do think that he's a good kid after all!" Lily crowed at him.

"Oh I wouldn't go that far. But I would say that he really isn't a completely unredeemable little monster."

"That's all I wanted for you to do Jimmy - to just give him a chance. Thanks honey." Lily said snuggling up to him and using him as her pillow, with one arm flung protectively over him and her head on his chest.

"You're welcome Rosie-posy." James returned kissing the top of her head.

"James… what did you mean this afternoon when you told Harry that Petunia and Vernon will be back before Easter? Do you mean that they finally agreed to let us help them? I thought the last time you went they wouldn't even see you."

"Heh-heh-heh… no they wouldn't. In fact, Vernon tried to convince them to arrest me instead. Made quite a ruckus about it."

"Arrest you! For what?"

"They said he was offering me up as a 'bigger fish' than him, in hopes of a plea agreement. Heh-heh! Get this - supposedly, I am the ringleader of a nefarious gang! Me? How ridiculous is that? I mean… get real Vernon! Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh!"

"James…?"

"Heh-heh-heh! Ha-ha-ha!" James rolled with uncontrollable laughter thinking about his paranoid brother-in-law.

"Jimmy…?"

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha… heh-heh… er…yes Lils?"

"… did you forget?"

"Forget what?"

"You are."

"Are what?"

"The ringleader of a nefarious gang."

"I am?"

"Yes dear."

"You think the Marauders are nefarious?" James asked with misplaced pride.

"Terribly so," Lily answered dryly. "And that would make Vernon right."

"Oh… right-o. Well no matter, it's not likely anyone believed him," James shrugged.

"If Vernon keeps it up though, sooner or later, somebody will. He knows far too much about the Wizarding world, and he doesn't exactly have a reason to protect it like we do."

"Then 'da sooner we spring 'dem from 'da big house 'da better." James tried to sound like a hardened thug but just succeeded in making Lily laugh at his cliché imitation.

"You've been watching too much of Dudley's late night television. But get serious - how are you going to do that if they won't be reasonable about accepting our help?"

"I gave up on that tactic entirely, I'm now well into to Plan B – helping them whether they want it or not. I want my flat back and Dursley free." James said decidedly. "Just need to wait a few more days for the full moon to pass so Remus is feeling better."

"So Remus is a part of this 'Plan B' of yours?" Lily knew she would feel better about whatever her husband had planned if that were the case. Remus was always the voice of reason for the Marauders, stopping them from going too far, time after time.

"The biggest!" he assured her. "And actually it's not my plan, its Dudley's."

"Dudley's?"

"In a roundabout way – remember when he was telling us about Vernon and Petunia getting the trust money for Harry?"

"You mean what he called the 'funny money'? How is that going to help? They spent it."

"But that's just it! Don't you see? They - spent - it." James said it very slowly as if that would fill in the blanks.

"No, I don't see… spell – it - out." Lily shot back at him.

"No need to get huffy woman, I was about to," James placated in return with a jolly chuckle that came from deep within him as if enjoying a private joke. "You see, the boys and I were talking after that, and of course I was going on and on and on about Vernon and how he deserved to be right where he was after he misused all of our money…"

"Of course you were," Lily agreed cynically wondering where James was going with this.

"And Padfoot said that it was just too bad that we couldn't demand it back."

"He would."

"And then Moony asked – why not?"

"Why not? Why not what?"

"Why not demand Vernon and Petunia repay it."

"How in the world does Remus expect them to come up with that amount of money? It was a thousand pounds a month for almost eight years. That would be almost a hundred thousand pounds!"

"Oh no it's much more than that! We figured ninety eight thousand, rounded up to your even hundred thousand, and of course a nice return of interest - so why not double it?"

"Sure why not? But as long as you are asking the impossible, why not just triple it?" Lily asked derisively.

"Don't want to be greedy," James said a bit primly. "Moony thought an average of eight percent with compounding would have doubled by now, so two hundred thousand's fair."

"I ask again – how in the world do you expect to get that kind of money out of Vernon and Petunia? You know they will never give you as much as a handshake, let alone money! It's far too precious to them."

"True," James nodded. "That's where Moony comes in."

"I highly doubt if even Remus can…" Lily slowed to a halt as a possible scenario popped into her head. "No! James you can't intend to sick Remus on them as a werewolf!"

"Ha-ha! No. I thought of that but I didn't think you'd approve, that's why we have to wait until after the full moon to carry out the big plan." James chuckled at the image in his mind of Vernon chugging away from Moony as fast as his stocky legs could carry him – with money falling out of his pockets and leaving a behind him at every jog.

"So just what is this 'big plan'?" Lily asked with curiosity.

"Well, Moony is going to get all spiffed up in that dark charcoal grey suit that I bought for our wedding…"

"You looked very handsome in that suit... very suave and sophisticated… a girl couldn't very well say no to a man looking like that…"

"Yes I did, and that was the point, and now so will Moony."

"Why does Remus need to look suave and sophisticated?"

"Because he's going to the courthouse posing as a lawyer so he can file a writ to have them released. We need him to be believable so the courts won't look too close."

"Look too close at what?"

"At the documents that Moony is going to give them showing that all the money they have been spending right and left, is really their own hard earned money from Vernon's paycheck that they have already paid all due taxes on, therefore making them innocent."

"But isn't that just going to confirm to the court that they have undeclared income? That's why they are in jail in the first place - being unable to explain where all the money came from to rebuild their house and replace all their things so quickly without insurance. If Remus lies to the courts, it's just going to get them into worse trouble."

"But that's the beauty of it! Everything we're going to tell them will be the truth!"

"How so?"

"Let's see… how to explain? Okay answer me this - Where did all that undisclosed money come from to begin with?"

"From our vault in Gringotts," Lily answered.

"And for what purpose did we arrange to have that money available to them?"

"To take care of Harry."

"And did they?"

"Yes… sort of…" Lily loyally hedged on her sister's behalf.

"Yes? You call what they did 'taking care'?"

"Well no – not really, at least not with the money we gave them."

"Ha-ha! Right, I thought not. Now – as our son's guardians, what were they supposed to do with any of the trust money they didn't spend on him?"

"Let's see… what was it? There was something the guardian was supposed to do, wasn't there?" Lily racked her brain but couldn't quite think of it. "I don't know – what?"

"They were supposed to invest it."

"That's right! That what Sirius said he would do if we tried to foist any money on him to take care of Harry! He told us to keep our money because he wouldn't take a single Knut for the honour of raising his own godson. Then he said if we did it anyway that he'd just turn around and put in back into the bank in Harry's name at a highly advantageous rate. Am I right? I am, aren't I?" Lily pressed back against James' warm body satisfied when it all came flooding back to her. Little by little, the last few holes in her past memory were filling in, now if she could just remember what she was forgetting today…

"Yes! You are absolutely correct my lovely one! Now – knowing that is how any loving godfather would behave, one only has to extrapolate that behaviour and apply the same to an uncle or aunt. The rest is as easy as one, two, three," James started counting off on his fingers. "One - if they didn't spend the money on Harry, than they must have invested it. Two - the only thing of real value they have is Number 4 Privet Drive. Three – then the money must have gone to pay for it, as they hold the deed free and clear."

"So you are saying…?"

"As Harry's guardians, the Dursley's invested his monthly stipend into real estate. Therefore, it wasn't their money that was undisclosed, it was Harry's, and so they weren't responsible for paying taxes on it."

"But doesn't someone? I mean, wouldn't they still be responsible as his guardians?"

"They were the guardians, but they weren't the trustee's – Gringotts was, and Gringotts filed all the proper paperwork with the muggles every year. They are very thorough that way. Bless those little goblins - you can always count on them to cross the 't's and dot the i's." James said with admiration, of both the goblins, and of his own brilliance.

"But I'm still puzzled James… if all that is true, what is it that Remus is going to give the court that you don't want them to look at too closely?"

"Well, we did have to fudge a few muggle documents so the Dursleys would appear to be more stellar on paper than what they are in reality, and that they actually did things the way we are going to tell them that they did."

"Fudge? How did you fudge muggle documents? Won't Vernon and Petunia get upset when they find out?"

"Ha-ha! That's another brilliant thing. You know, that son of theirs is very good at the computer. Did you know that computer they got him with Harry's money has all the bells and whistles on it? It has this one thing called a 'scanner' and another thing called a 'printer'. Dudley can really manipulate a document. Padfoot caught him scanning in his report card and changing the grades. Didn't take much to convince the boy to give us a few computer lessons in exchange for not ratting him out to his aunt…"

Lily made a small exasperated sound.

"Oops! I just did, didn't I? Ha-ha sorry Dudley," James chuckled unapologetically.

"Well get back to that later, right now I want to know how you expect to pass these documents off as real. Vernon will never co-operate with you, even if it is in his and Petunia's best interests. After all, they've been steadfastly refusing our help from the onset, even though they say that their predicament is entirely our fault. You know James… I still don't understand what started it all. Why do you suppose the taxmen were looking into their finances to begin with? It's almost as if some master manipulator planned it all."

"Ha-ha! That's a good one Lils! Who would care enough about your muggle sister and her husband to mastermind a plot with them in the centre?"

"The Marauders for one, at least that's what you've been telling me for the past hour."

"Ah right the plan! Well back to that - remember when we got Vernon to sign the adoption papers?"

"Yes…" Lily said hesitantly, thinking that if James told her that there was anything was wrong with those papers that she was going to have to divorce him on the spot.

"I had him give me an extra signature, in case we missed anything. He was in such a hurry to get rid of us that he didn't notice it was on the bottom of a blank piece of paper. With the help of Dudley's computer and printer, we just filled in the top part, and Voilà!"

"Voilà?"

"Yes - voilà! Because now we now have a nice new document attesting to how the Dursley actually spent their money, and to the investment of their ward. All complete with Vernon's original signature, I might add." James said smugly.

"Sometimes your logic scares me James…"

"But only in a good way right?"

"Oh yes, in a very good way." Lily turned around and planted a kiss on his lips before the two disappeared giggling under the covers. Sleep the farthest thing from their minds.