A/N: Reminder of the poll over private message from last time. If there's a country you're dying to see seriously romanced by Lana, send me those votes! Time to see what kind of predicament she got herself into now.

DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING OF HETALIA

I made a ruckus as he picked me up and threw me over his shoulder. I kicked as hard as I could and I only got a creepy laugh in return. I saw something out of the corner of my eye that looked like a faucet pipe. Then I blacked out. I woke up god knows how many hours later in a bed that smelled of…of…cabbage rolls? I groaned. Ivan must have wailed me on the head with that rusty pipe of his. I sure as hell hope I don't have tetanus or whatever it is you get from being injured with rusty metal. I could hear a bouncing noise and someone scurrying about in the room.

"Oh, добре! You're awake!" It was a woman's voice, and it was a Ukrainian woman. Thank god for language classes!
"Depends on what you count as awake." I sighed
"You're talking! Here, you're too thin. Eat something!"

She had laid out a smorgasbord of Ukrainian foods, and as soon as I could smell it I sat up in bed, not caring one bit for the fact that I was here against my will. Hell, feed me like this more often and I'm never leaving. I looked at her and she had ENORMOUS boobs. I mean like you can't stand up because your boobs are so large type boobs. Suddenly, I felt very, very grateful for my average chest. She must suffer awful back pain. I felt like she was nice, so I decided to get to know her to gain some info on where I was.

"So…" I said, between bites of a pampushky, a dinner roll type thing
"Yes? Keep eating, I shouldn't be able to hear any noises from you!" She answered, urging me on.
"What's your name? Do you live here?"
"Так, I live here. This is my house! Мене звати Yekaterina! I'm Ivan's older sister."
"Мене звати Lana."
"Are you Ukrainian too?"
"Nah, I just took it as a language requirement."
"Oh, I see."
"So, what am I doing here?"
"Well, Ivan told me to look after you for a few days until the adoption…"
"What adoption?"
"KEEP EATING! Don't tell me брат didn't tell you!"
"Tell me what?"
"He's going to adopt you! So you can live with him!"

I spat out the ковбаса, or sausage, that had been in my mouth. WTF? Isn't he a bit young to be a dad? Aren't I a bit old to be adopted? I voiced these concerns to Yekaterina.

"He's not at all! And you aren't either! You're the perfect age to become a city!" She beamed
"A city? Kat, are you off your rocker?" I was beginning to be worried for my health
"Так, a city! Do you not want to be adopted? Ivan will be so sad…" She started to sniffle
"Don't cry! Don't cry! It's just that this is really unexpected and I don't know what you mean by city."
"Well, with Ivan as Russia, it's only natural that if he adopts you, you become a city!"
"Wait, what? Ivan as Russia?"
"Don't you know about us? About the entire World Conference?"
"No! Obviously there's something I've been missing!"
"Well, I'll tell you then. This may come as a shock."
"Kat, with all I've been through, that'll take a lot."
"Here goes… the representatives don't just act on behalf of their country, they are the country. We are all the countries, just shown as human. We don't really die, unless the country stops existing, but even then, we don't really die. Prussia hasn't existed for hundreds of years, but Gilbert's still alive. I am Ukraine, just as Ivan is Russia. When Ivan adopts you, you will become like us. You will be both Lana and Novosibirsk. As soon as the papers are signed, you won't die either, unless the city stops existing."
"Holy shit…"
"Language!"
"How the hell else do you expect me to respond? I don't know whether to believe you or call you crazy, or call myself crazy!"
"Ask anyone else from the Conference, and they'll all say the same thing. Please don't be mad about this!"

She started to cry again, and I had to pat her on the back and tell her that I believed her to get her to stop. I didn't know what to do, and I felt helpless. I swung myself onto the side of the bed and threw off the covers. Yekaterina walked out with the food, promising to be back in another hour or so. I rested my head in my hands and began conjuring up a plan to either prove or disprove her statement and get out of here. As hard as I thought, I couldn't come up with anything. Suddenly, I heard gunshots outside and the window of the room broke in a spectacular show of powdered glass. A man with blonde hair, a pistol in his right hand and a shotgun slung across his back came in through the window.

"Who…? What…?" I stared at him
"Vash Zwingli, Swiss representative. I came with Arthur and Ludwig. Let's get you out of here." He seemed super trigger-happy

I hopped onto the ledge of the window and slowly lowered myself to the ground. He just full on jumped out of it. Let it never be said that Swiss people aren't badass. Or should it be that Switzerland isn't badass? God, I don't even know now. We ran, ducking behind trees and bushes to where Arthur and Ludwig had hidden a car. The passenger seat in the front was open, so I did one of those Starsky and Hutch "slide across the hood and in through the window" moves to save time. Arthur was driving and he gunned it as fast as he could, driving westward. I exhaled the breath that I didn't realize I'd been holding. I checked the side mirror to make sure Yekaterina didn't tell Ivan that I was gone, because I knew he'd be on our tail faster than Francis on a pretty girl. Ludwig put his hand on my shoulder and I turned as best as I could to face him.

"Are you alright?" He was very pale from the whole ordeal
"I'm okay, I guess. I got a nasty hit on the head, and I'm a bit shaken, but apart from that, nothing else is wrong." I sighed
"Hit on the head? From what?"
"A rusty pipe. I was squirming too much, I suppose."
"The bastard…"
"Well, looks like our plan failed horribly. What do we do now?"
"I might have an idea." Said Vash
"Go on." I looked at him
"We have to get you out of Europe. Perhaps England would be far enough, but we need to get you as far away from Russia as we possibly can."
"From Russia?"
"You know, Ivan."
"As in Ivan is Russia?"
"And I'm Switzerland and Arthur is England and Ludwig is Germany, yes."
"So Yekaterina was telling the truth…"
"You didn't believe her?"
"I didn't want to. Ivan wanted to make me Novosibirsk by adopting me. I didn't think that was possible."
"No, it's been done before." Arthur spoke for the first time during the drive
"Oh?"
"Alfred has something like 50 children, all of them his states."
"Let me get something straight. You're all personifications of countries."
"Right."
"And yet you're all human, but sort of immortal."
"Correct."
"This is both really strange and sort of cool all at once. How old are all of you then?"
"We all got stuck at a certain age. It just happened. I got stuck at 23."
"…to think, I was going to become immortal at 20…"

The idea was both terrifying and oddly appealing. I lost myself in thought for half an hour as we drove on. Immortality would be both a gift and a curse all at once, and there was no way in hell that I wanted to be related to Ivan in any way. I found myself drifting off to sleep when Vash spoke up.

"You know," He said, "There is a way that you could become like one of us without adoption."
"Which is?" I was mildly intrigued but I really wanted to sleep.
"Marriage."
"Err, yes, well, let's just keep driving, shall we?" Arthur blurted out

A/N: Translations: добрe=good, Так=yes, Мене звати=my name is, брат=brother. And so Lana finds out just what these representatives really are. I figured it was high time to let that be known to her. Don't forget to vote! Review please!